It was once innocent. 

He told her that she looked y because he truly meant it to be a compliment. He only wanted it to mean that she did great. 

He was the maknae of a big group and so was she, and just by looking at how she stiffened before going onto the stage, he suddenly wanted to reach out and comfort her. He wanted to do that one thing to her that everyone failed to do to him when he first joined the group. However, when he finally gathered his courage and decided to speak his mind, it was time for her to perform. 

And so, he had missed his chance to cheer her up before the performance. While she was performing, he spent half of the time cursing himself for being such a coward, and the other half gluing his eyes on her because he was sure that she did much better than him the first time performing in front of such a big crowd. 

So when Soshi got off the stage and went back to their shared waiting room, he did not waste one second to approach her

"Seohyun-ah, did you have a hair cut?"

"No, Kyuhyun-ssi. It is a wig."

He furrowed his eyebrows. He did not feel happy when she called many members of Super Junior "oppa", but somehow he was still regarded as "Kyuhyun-ssi". He hoped that by complementing her, they could be a bit closer, because he found the way she said "oppa" was really cute.

"You look y with it."

Seohyun looked stunned, like she was slapped on the face. And then, suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lips so that the sob would not come out, but obviously what he said offended her, to say the least. 

He did not know what to do. He only wanted it to be a compliment, to assure her how great she was, and to be closer to her, but he clearly did something wrong. He stood there awkwardly, his arm was held up in the air, hesitantly whether to reach for her and wipe all her tears. The rational voice inside told him that they were not close enough to do so, but there was another, despite much weaker, stubbornly reminding him how truly he wanted to comfort her. 

However, he missed the chance to redeemp his action as YoonA, one of his favorite female friends, stepped in. She pulled Seohyun into her arms and glared at him accusingly

"Oppa, what did you do?"

Seohyun shook her head, mumbling something like it was nothing. He blushed and looked down at his feet. He suddenly did not know why he found it hard to admit that he wanted to compliment her look.

"I overheard it. He dared to call our maknae y" 

SooYoung abruptly intervened with her usual savage comment, and without observing closely, people would miss how her eyes glinted playfully when Kyuhyun uncomfortably turned away to avoid her gaze. YoonA tried to hide her smile, probably because she felt guilty that she found the compliment funny while her maknae seemed to suffer from it

"Shush oppa. What did you even think?"

As YoonA dragged Seohyun to the other side of the room to avoid him, Kyuhyun unconsciously stepped up and reached out to grab Seohyun's hand to ask her to hear him out, but the sound of SooYoung's chuckle startled him that he stumbled and almost failed down. So once again, he had to see Seohyun walk away without him saying the thing he needed to.

"Oppa, sometimes you make me doubt my own intelligence because I did think you were smart."

With that, SooYoung turned away and began her mission of telling everyone what an idiot Kyuhyun oppa was, leaving him stunt with his own thoughts and regret.

It was all innocent.

He because he simply found it very enjoyable, especially when she no longer teared up at his jokes. He swore that he meant nothing with all of his action,... or maybe just a tiny, little intention of making their time together more fun. 

After the embarassing incident in the shared waiting room, and especially with the generous help of Sooyoung in spreading the words, Kyuhyun was regarded with suspicion every time he was anywhere near the SM's precious maknae, Seo Joohyun. Even when his best friend, Shim Changmin, fully understood how and why he did what he did to Seohyun, the guy could not hide his slightly overprotective attitude toward the girl and straightforwardly told him to keep his mouth shut the next time Kyuhyun went near her.

And so, when it started to seem that Seohyun and he were chosen to be partners for a few upcoming projects of SME, he told himself that he would be extra careful when they were together. No unnecessary talk, no slip of words, basically no interaction if it could be avoided. 

He did fine the first few times they worked together. Even though many months after, when he looked back at it, he wondered if he was fine because those times they were with all Soshi and Super Junior, and most of the members made sure that they had nothing to do with each other.

However, when it was only the two of them, their tension became palpable. They sat on the two sides of the chair or two corners of the room, looking at everything but the other person, and keeping themselves occupied with anything but interacting with another unless it was deem obligatory. 

He even asked his manager once why they were paired together while everyone knew that he was much closer to YoonA and SooYoung, or even Sunny and Jessica. The manager looked at him with a smirk, while some of his hyung gave him death glares, and told him that those who made the decision had more experiences in this industry than the whole Super Junior combined. He knew that meant he should not question any further, but it did not mean that he stopped wondering.

And then one day it came. The inevitable disaster when SM tried to sell them as a couple while apparently, they had no chemistry.

At the start of the Seoul filming, the director yelled at Seohyun as she stood there quietly, not knowing how to act around him, when they were supposedly a couple.

"Why are you so unprofessional? Get it straight after the break or we'll switch you with SooYoung."

Standing next to her, he could not ignore how she was trying to hold back her tears, and it reminded him so much of what happened the first and also the last time he complimented her. He felt the urge to step up, to do something so that the same thing would not happen again. Seohyun kept apologizing, and bowing to all the crew members, as he mimiced her own action

"PD-nim. It was my fault. I should have done better, please do not blame her." 

The PD glared at him and everyone missed how the old man smirked just right before yelling again

"Of course it's your fault. You are her sunbae, you should know better than her."

To be honest, he was taken aback by the extreme reaction. However, as Seohyun approached him and mumbled an apology, he knew that there was more things needed to be done than caressing his slightly bruised ego.

"I'm sorry."

He blurted out. He had meant to say it when he saw the tears welling up in her eyes after the word "y" came out of his mouth, but he never had the chance, and the courage to. But when she looked at him, the words came naturally.

"I'm sorry that I said that you were y." He hesitated, not sure if she would fling back at the word.

But this time, she chuckled and shook her head.

"I'm sorry that I cried." 

Her cheeks blushed deeply, like a ripe tomato or a juicy apple. Suddenly, he wanted to poke them, out of curiousity to see if some juice would come out. He chuckled at his own thought.

"I meant it to be a compliment. You did great, much better than me the first time."

She blushed a little more. And he wanted to pinch her cheeks even more.

"I knew. I was just dumb."

"No, no, of course not. You were..." He scratched his head, looking for the right word. "innocent. Yes, innocent. And I was..."

He struggled again. She offered with a small smile

"Weird?"

They broke out to laugh at the same time. And then, all of sudden, he did the one thing that he had failed to do before. He reached out to rub her head

"I don't know if that was nice or not nice of you to say so."

"We are even then." She titled her head to escape his hands, her nose scrunched in a super cute way that made him smile amusingly:

"We are."

And things just got so much better from there, when they started even.

The first time they conversed normally to each other, everyone around them was surprised, to say the least. Yesung had his mouth dropped and Hyoyeon punched Eunhyuk to make sure that she was not dreaming. He rolled his eyes at their exaggrations, tempting to throw some biting remarks, but a glance to her, seeing how she was sheepishly hiding behind YoonA again, he decided that he would save his remarks for other occassions. 

The second time they spoke voluntarily to each other about weather and what they would have for dinner, Jessica eyed him with suspicion while Donghae furrowed his eyebrows as if the kid did not understand what had been going on. Again, he wanted to make fun of them, but her pleading eyes had stopped his words from coming out of his mouth.

The third time they sat next to each other, when he swore that he would attack the first one annoy him with their reaction, nothing happened, except a few glances here and there, making sure he did not do anything appropriate. When he had thought his prepared sarcasm might go to waste, their managers approached them unexpectedly, annoucing that they would have a duet for the upcoming SME concert. And the room exploded. 

"I swear that I am not going to eat her alive on stage. You all should calm down." He got annoyed at how everyone vehemently opposed the idea of them getting together on the stage, as if he would do anything inappropriate to her in front of thousands of eyes.

"But you will have practices together." Sunny voiced out her concern. "Who know what you are capable of?"

"Like how Sungmin hyung and you have been practicing the Falling slowly duet together?" He smirked, knowing exactly what he himself was capable of: Shuting people down.

"Now you brought that up, we have even more reasons why you should not be anywhere near her." This time it was Leeteuk, the ever protective guardian. Taeyeon agreed wholeheartedly.

"And I am sure that you and Taeyeon have discussed those reasons alone sometimes, don't you?" 

The two leaders turned away, their face reddened, one being shy and one being angry. Despite his caustic response, no one wanted to back of from protecting their naive princess from the hands of an experienced man. And so, they continued arguing, until she spoke with her usual composure tone.

"I think we should be fine."

Magically, it made everyone quiet. They looked at her worriedly, but they all could hear the clear determination in her voice, which meant that there was little thing they could do to change her mind.

"You really need to teach me how to make them shut up like that, Seohyun-ah." He told her that when they were taken away by the managers to discuss about their duet.

She chuckled, her eyes twinkled at his words.

"That is not very nice of you to say so, oppa. But it's nothing, just don't talk too much. So when you speak, everyone will take you seriously." 

He stunt at her wise words. Although he never doubted her intelligence, he never expected someone who seemed so guileless like her was actually mature beyond her ages. He smiled sheepishly and blurted out the one thing that had been in his mind.

"You know that I won't do anything to you right?"

This time, she broke out to laugh.

"Of course, oppa. I trust you." 

As much as he told himself that as long as his conscience cleaned, he could careless about what people thought about him, on someday, it did not help that everyone assumed the exact opposite thing. So, when she turned to him and looked into his eyes with her sincere and warm eyes, it was as clear as the day to him why so many people wanted to protect her. To protect that ingenuous gazes. Because someday, that was what gave them hope. And hope was the only one thing that no one could truly live without.

Thus, when he decided to pull a stunt to annoy those who suspected that he would do some evil things to her, he felt extremely guilty as he had no choice but to involve her. He was also scared and hesitant, because he still was not sure how a girl like her would take his sometimes-a-bit-too-evil pranks and jokes.

As he politely asked if she would be fine with a minor trick he planned, he had expected to spend hours and hours convincing her to let him do what he wanted to. However, it made him speechless when she only asked if it would hurt anyone. 

"No. Not really." He shrugged and then added with a concerned voice. "I think the only one who might be negatively affected would be you."

"Then it's fine, oppa." She smiled assuringly and he had to turn away from her unquestioned eyes. "I know you are a nice person, you won't do anything harmful to me." 

"Let me explain my plan and if you are uncomfortable, I won't do it."

"No need, Kyuhyun oppa." She chuckled joyfully. "I am bad at all this prank games. I am not a good liar either. If you tell me now, I may not be able to keep it until the concert day." 

He blinked at how lovely the way she called him Kyuhyun oppa, and her trust was too much to bear. He almost cancelled all his plan because he did not want to risk in case something might happen to her.

"Just take care of me, oppa." 

She whispered as her cheeks blushed and he grinned widely. 

"I will, Joohyunie."

Always. Somehow that word just popped in his mind.

And then it came, the 2009 SMTown concert in Seoul. The first day they stepped on the stage as a duet couple. The day they got interviewed by MBC and he jokingly said that they were the best official...unofficial couple of the whole SMTown.

He did not exactly plan it, but he had had that thought in the back of his mind for a while because in fact, they were the only couple that got paired by SM so consistently. He figured that it was the appropriate time to say such thing, despite the threatening glares from her unnie and his hyung. "Only if they know this is just an opening." He smirked at his own thought. 

Knowing that everyone would scrutinize their first duet together with all their might, he already expected those glances, but he did not expect that she would laugh along playfully. So when the camera was no longer on them, he winked at her

"You are a better liar than you think, Joohyunie." 

She said nothing, but gave him a small smile and blushing cheeks.

Her reaction made him more confident in his plan, so when they were together on stage, he reached out for her hand a bit earlier than when they practiced together. His hyung specifically instructed him to only hold the tip of her fingers, and he actually did so in the practice. However, going on stage was a different thing. He had decided to give them a heart attack, so instead he held her hand in his hand. 

She did not fling at his little prank, but he could sense her nervousness through her voice and the slight tremble of her fingers, so he rubbed his fingers on her to assure her that she did great. And the trembling stopped, which made him extremely happy and had to use his effort to hide the smile because they were singing a melancholy love song. 

He could tell that his prank went even better than expected because once they stepped down, he was attacked by all of her oppa and unnie, who were also his hyung, unnie, and dongsaeng but always took her sides regardless. In the midst of the chaos, he still had time to tell her that she looked y during the performance, that almost would have made literally every man in the hearing distance launch themselves at him if she had not chuckled amusingly and told him that she appreciated the compliment. 

That was when he knew that working together could be really fun.

And it was. Behind her shy appearance was a bubbly girl with some weird habits that with time, they grew closer through all his teasing and her merry laugh, on stage or off stage. She still blushed easily, and that only made him want to even more, because he found her confused but still trusting reaction truly entertaining. 

Just like how he sometimes added changes to his performance, he pulled some stunt here and there when they performed together. His hyung had got used to it that they simply accepted it as a part of how she and he worked together, her unnie seemed to growing more concern as their numbers of projects increased. He simply thought that just how girls always thought, until one day when SooYoung pulled him into a corner after their duet and questioned him seriously

"Oppa, what are you doing with our Seohyun?"

"Nothing?" He got annoyed because he honestly did not know what he did to deserve that kind of question. "You are being dramatic here, Young."

She looked at him incredulously but she did not say anything else, only observing as if to see whether he was lying. After a long pause, she sighed 

"Sometimes I truly doubt your intelligence, oppa."

"Again, SooYoung, I haven't done anything bad to her."

She shooked her head and smile sadly

"No, you haven't. Or at least you haven't realized it yet, oppa."

"What does that mean?" He immediately panicked. He really did not want to hurt her in anyway, intentionally or not. "Tell me so I can fix it. Did I say something stupid again? Did she cry?" 

Again, SooYoung looked at him and not answer his question, until he growled:

"Damn it, SooYoung. I'm not kidding with you. I may not be as close to her as you, but I am still her oppa. I still care."

She squinted her eyes

"Yes. I see that you care. But sometimes it's better that you said something stupid like last time." And before he could yell at her again, she continued, this time with a smile that he couldn't understand. "And I can't help you here when you are such an idiot."

With that, she turned away, leaving him speechless one more time.

He wondered incessantly what he had done that SooYoung and all of SNSD seemed to be so wary of him everytime he approached her. And since none of them wanted to give him the answer and none of his hyung could get it from them, he knew that he was on his own. So he started to pay attention to the tiniest details whenenver he had the chance to interact with her. 

And he realized, sadly, that SooYoung was right. How could he be so blind and not know any of it sooner? How could he be such an idiot for hurting her all of this time? 

How could he look at her sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks whenever he and never noticed? How could he ignore the way she held out her hand to him and hold on to his hand, the way she carried herself, trying to hide all her complex emotion behind the awkwardness or the joy? How could he not realize that she liked him? More than sunbae and hobae. More like a man and a woman.

How could he?

He did not know when it first started, but he knew that it should be ended. It would hurt their relationship, their groups' relationship, or even cost them their careers. However, he did not know how to end it. How to end it that would hurt her the least.

She never revealed anything, which made it harder and somehow easier at the same time. If she were straightforward, he could reject her and then had a valid reason to stop working together. But she never was. She kept all her emotion in, and maintained their distance so perfectly that sometimes he doubted his own observation. At the same time, that made him relief as he still had not figure out how to reject her in the best way possible if she ever decided to confess. 

So, he often caught himself in the middle of teasing her or touching her like before he realized anything. Everytime it happened, he got a panic attack because he knew that he needed to keep a distance so that she would fall for him anymore. And for some stupid reasons, he always only remembered that once he had said half the sentences or when his hand was in the middle of air, reaching for her hair or her cheeks. 

Any time like that, he was too busy cursing himself for letting himself off guard and hurting her more that he failed to notice how her eyes lost their beautiful sparkle and her face pale as she started to perceive what had been going on with him. And then it was already too late once he saw that something had gone wrong between them, when even Shindong had to ask him if he offened her again. They somehow became visibly awkward to each other again like in the beginning, with her withdrawing back to her reserved self. 

When days had gone and they had not became normal, that he was torn between approaching her and mending their relationship or letting it be and hoping she would be fine eventually, Changmin ran into his room in Super Junior and was only a second away from punching him if the guy had not been not stopped by Siwon. 

"What was that for, Shim Changmin?" He was already in a bad mood that everyone annoyed him with their mere existance.

"Changminnie." Unlike his usually-smart-but-lately-imbecile maknae, all of Super Junior had been tortured by their Soshi enough to know exactly what had been going on, so Siwon just simply left the two after stopping Changmin. "Take it easy on him, please?"

Changmin sighed, his angry disappeared as he looked his clueless bestfriend.

"What have you done to Joohyunie, Kyu?"

He turned away because he was guilty, both because of what he did, and what he not did. He mumbled nothing as his face turned red with embarassment.

"I don't want to lecture you but Joohyun had come to ask me if I could replace her for the next duet with you in SMTown. I want to ask you if I should say yes."

"Why are you asking me?" He growled, unknowingly why he suddenly felt even more annoyed. "Do whatever you want. Or whatever she wants."

Changmin rolled his eyes and it made him feel like an idiot for some strange reason.

"Well, if that what you two slow people both wish then. Take care of me, Kyunnie." His bestfriend added as his lips curved into a smirk, and he suddenly wanted to punch the guy badly.

"Stop it. Those words are not for you to say." It made him miss the first time when she said the exact same thing with her beautiful and big eyes.

Changmin broke out to laugh and he groaned

"What is that?"

"No, no, nothing. It's just funny." Changmin couldn't stop laughing and he wanted to kick the guy out of his room immediately. But then, his bestfriend abruptly stopped and spoke again. "Just so you know, she wants me to replace her because she will do a collaboration with the EXO kids." 

"She what?" He could not believe what his bestfriend just said.

"She will perform and work other people, and in this case, EXO kids." Changmin shrugged calmly, but it sounded like an explosion to him. "Isn't that what you have wanted all this time, Kyu?"

As the words dawned on him, he was left with the one question in his mind for days to come. "Is that what he truly wants?"

And it was no longer innocent.

He because deep down inside, since the first time they met, he always had felt something special about her. The teasing might mean little at first, but he doubted that lasted for long. And as much as he hated to admit it, it might as well never be innocent.

He thought that it was what he wanted. They being separated, working with different people, giving each other the space they needed. He thought that would be for the greater good, or be better for both of them. 

However, it grew in him that maybe that was not exactly what he wanted. He wanted for her to not being hurt and it originally appeared to him that the only way to achieve it is to distance themselves from each other. But he never wanted them to literally avoid the other like what they had been doing for the last few months. Or to be exact, for her to avoid him as if he contained some dangerous and contagious disease. 

When he complained to Minho, because no one in Super Junior or Shim Changmin, or no one in SMTown for that matter acted like they were willing to speak to him about her, Minho told him to give her sometime and the two of them would be fine. He assured himself that things would return normal eventually, on the other hand, he doubted so when even Minho did not seem to trust any of his own words. 

And he soon realized that his fear was correct. As time passed by, they still did not return to how they once were. Heck, even he himself felt like he was no longer the same man he once was. He thought that they would be fine eventually, but he could no longer keep his hope high when it seemed like he were not fine himself. 

He was not fine when he accidently passed through a practice room and could not look away from what was happening inside. He quietly stood outside, watching TTS and EXO practice together for their upcoming shared stage. He saw with his own eyes how playful they performed together as if the was no other there but just her and that Chanyeol, how happy she looked as if that was the most enjoyable performance she had ever done. 

He was not fine as his heart ached for the way she looked, her eyes dreamy and her cheeks tinged, when they locked gaze on stages. He was gasp for air as he longed for their moments when he and she looked at him, slightly surprised but delighted nonetheless. The memories used to make him grinned like an idiot everytime he thought about it, but at that moment, they made him suffocated with sorrow and desparate for them to be close one more time.

"Are you okay, Kyuhyun oppa?" SooYoung's voice pulled him out of his own thoughts. He shook his head to wake himself up and tore his gaze from the graceful figure on stage.

"You look like you were drowning, Kyu." Changmin added suddenly, which made him almost jump out of his seat.

"What are you two doing here? And what was that scaring me?" He was too tired to argue so he simply threw some questions in there, honestly not expect to continue the conversation and rather them leave him alone. However, his friends had the great talent of annoying the out of him, so they ignored his hint and continued.

"For the record, we have been staying here and watching them even before you." Changmin leaned back and casually answered his questions.

"But you have been too busy looking somewhere else that you did not see us." SooYoung smiled mischevously. "Can't blame you though. We were also totally captured by their great performance, especially Seohyunie and Chanyeol. Right, Changmin oppa?"

Changmin nodded enthusiasticly, completely being blind to how his brows knitted together at the compliment.

"I think they really fit together. Do you think they would have a duet together soon? Our company is known for that kind of stuff" It was SooYoung again. He never imagine that one day he could hate the way SooYoung spoke that much.

"Very likely." Changmin spoke and again, he never imagined that one day he could hate the way his bestfriend spoke, but he guessed everything had it first time. "They look like they will make a great official...unofficial couple." 

The two annoying friends laughed out loud and the same time, and he knew that he could not take it any longer. He abruptly walked away after growling at both of them.

"Suit yourself."

However, they were stubborn enough that Changmin blocked his way so that SooYoung could have her last bite

"Hey, you and our Seohyunie used to make a good couple too, oppa. Sadly, no more."

"Don't be jealous." And Changmin was living up to his name of being the first ever evil maknae. 

But he only heard one word, and that one specific word stopped him dead on his track.

Jealous. Had he been jealous of her and Chanyeol all of this time watching them? 

He could not answer it immediately, or to be exact, he was dreaded to find out the true answer. He naively hoped that by leaving it at the back of his mind, he could have more time to figure everything out, but the question popped in his mind almost whenever he was not busy with his work, or worse, kept himself awake at night to contemplate about his life and what the question exactly indicated. 

The question made him restless, but the last straw was watching the actual performance of TTS and EXO. Seeing her running under the stage light, touching the EXO kids, and hearing their voices blended together drove him crazy with jealousy. Yes, finally he had to accept the one fact, which everyone knew but somehow he never realized before, that he was burn with jealousy when she was not his partner.

Or worse, when she was not his. 

At that moment, he knew that he could no longer lie to himself that he only thought of her as a younger sister. He never thought of her as a sister since the minute he called her y, because he definitely would not say so to his female counsin. And he would never want to get close to her so badly if she was just another colleguage. Looking back, one more time, he did not know how he could be so blind and ignorant all this time.

Ignorant and blind to his very own emotion even when he could never truly stop himself from teasing her or succeed in distancing himself, or when he became too sensitive with anything related to her, or especially when he got depressed because she avoided him. He might have to agree with SooYoung that he was, after all, an idiot.

And he was also a coward. He told himself that he was only trying to protect her as he once swore to himself that he would always protect her. After many projects together, he had to admit they did have some special chemistry, something he failed to see at first, but as his manager once said, those with experiences were able to see it even in the beginning. So, being his partner had made her the target of so much hate that he could not bear to see her endure it if fans found out anything between them. 

But the truth was more complicated than just protecting her. He also protected himself as he worried about how his life would definitely be more difficult with their relationship, or worse, how devastated he could be if things did not turn out as he might like. 

However, as he finally came to peace with himself, he would win her back. He had to make her his, because he could no longer go on with the life without her, witnessing her being with any other man.

And so, he waited for her inside the SNSD's waiting room while her members looked at him suspiciously. Like the first time they ever spoke, he wasted no second to approach her when she stepped inside the room and said it one more time

"Joohyunie, you look y." 

The room went silent at his words, which made him hear his hearbeat so clearly that he was worried he might mistake her answer. He wondered if she would cry, because she blinked several times. He thought of killing himself if she did, but thankfully she had saved his life because after what seemed like forever, she did not cry and looked directly into his eyes. And then, slowly, he could see her smile sheepishly and felt his lips curved into a equally shy smile as she spoke

"That is a weird compliment, oppa."

And to be utterly honest, in his whole existance, he never found the word "weird" more lovely than that moment...

...except when he knelt down on one knee and asked her out loud if she would agree to let him take care of and protect her for forever and always, and she told him that it was a weird proposal. 

But let's save that story for another day, shall we?

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A/N: Hello everyone, long time no see! Although I have written about SeoKyu a lot, I hope you don't mind reading about them because they truly inspire me to write. Once I pick up on my writing again, I will write about other ships, but for now, please bear with me :)