Hyung. Hyung. Hyung.

    There was that voice again— that sweet, distinct voice that always seem to make an appearance in his dreams.

    Hyung.

    It felt familiar somehow; the sound. It was as if it was part of a displaced reality, a forgotten memory. There was no face to the voice, only darkness; the owner forever remaining a mystery as the same word repeated over and over again in his mind.

    Hyung. Hyung.

    And then he dreams of drowning.

    He dreams of the water as it welcomed him… engulfing him as if he was a part of it. He dreams of reaching for the light, that small orb of light that slowly disappeared as he got pulled down even more by his own weight.  He dreams of his lips as he parted them, desperately calling for help, only to see small bubbles come out of them instead of words. He dreams of suffocating. He dreams of pain. He dreams of that voice again. He dreams. He dreams. And then he dreams of nothing.

    Chul awakens that night, his entire being covered in cold sweat.  He was shaking, panting. He looks frightened.

    But he does not remember his dream.

*

    To say that Chae Hyungwon looked lifeless as he continued to drive to his destination was an understatement. Even if one was not paying much attention, they will be able to clearly see how dead his gaze looked as he focused on the road, not caring about anything else but accomplishing this chore of his. A chore. That was what all it was for him now.

    If it was up to him, Hyungwon would much rather choose to stay on their building’s rooftop, the only place that was not plagued with memories of his lost love. But even so, Hyungwon would be then reminded on how much Hoseok was afraid of heights, making him remember all the bittersweet memories they had together from that single strand of thought. It made his heart clench every single time.

    “Hyungwon-ah,” the older called out to him softly one time as they laid on the older’s bed, Hyungwon’s head pressed onto Hoseok’s chest as he listened to the calming sound of his lover’s heartbeat while the said lover’s fingers gently played with his hair. Hyungwon had hummed to acknowledge that he had heard, not wanting to disturb the silence with his own voice.

    “If I bungee jumped from a building, will you ever consider marrying me?”

    The question catches Hyungwon off guard and his head quickly rose from its position as Hyungwon went to stare at Hoseok with wide eyes. “You want to marry me?”

    Hoseok had only hummed, a delicate smile appearing on his handsome face. “Yeah, I do. So, will you?”

    Hyungwon had only blushed that day.

*

    There was one thing the media had not been privy of in regards to MONSTA X’s Wonho’s death. They had mostly reported about how he was as a son, a family member, a friend, an idol and a co-worker. But they had been blind to the fact that he was also a boyfriend. And that the one he had been left behind was still suffering, unable to accept the loss.

    The world had come to know of Wonho’s death.

    But they had never known about Hyungwon’s.

*

    Hours had ticked by when Hyungwon finally finds himself stopping the car, though rather unwillingly. There was a fork in the road and he was unsure of where to go, the GPS he had on his phone rather unhelpful as he lost signal a few miles back. For the first time in a while, something other than the blank look he often wore crossed his face; a look of uncertainty, as he pondered on whether he should proceed to the right or the left. It would have been helpful if there had been a road sign to aid in his decision, but alas there was none. It appears as if he will need to blindly decide on his own.

    Gently nibbling on his bottom lip, the idol takes quite a while before he finally decides on trusting his instincts and chose the road on the left. He’ll most probably just turn back if he was wrong.

*

    “I will be going to the village now,” the old woman says as she casted a glance at the two other people in their small home. 

    Chul, who had just finished taking a sip from his tea, hesitates for a moment before speaking up. “Halmeoni, I can always take those to the market for you. You don’t need to—”

    He was cut off before he can ever finish.

“No,” his grandmother says, giving him a disapproving glare. Chul visibly deflates a bit. “I can still walk fine and there is no need for you to go there. Stay here and take care of Byeol. Make sure to tend the crops. I will be back before sundown.”