“Take a break,” Kim Seongchan, one of MONSTA X’s (long suffering) manager, said to the male idol one day. Chae Hyungwon does not bother to fight or speak up. Like everyone else, the manager did not expect him to. It had been weeks now and they were all aware of the fact that Hyungwon was not close to getting any better. They had a group interview yesterday and everyone present had clearly seen how out of it the member had been. Speculations had circulated online, most of them thinking that Hyungwon was overworking himself and was sick again. If only they knew.

    It had taken a while for their fans to accept that the seven member group was now only six, with a lot of them giving the boys moral support both online and at their fan meetings. A lot of them had noticed how Hyungwon seemed the most affected out of all of the members, though they only assumed that was because Wonho was his best friend. If only they knew.

    Wonho is his best friend. Hoseok, well, is much more than that.

    If only they knew.

    “Okay.”

    Seongchan had expected a sound of protest from the younger when he suggested the break. What he did not expect, however, was for Hyungwon to immediately agree to it. The manager observed the idol silently, noting how exhausted he looked. Just what was Chae Hyungwon’s relationship with Hoseok that it affected him that much? He had an inkling that there was much more to the situation than everyone let on.

    “There’s… there’s this new recreation and wellness center in Jeollanam-do,” the manager reluctantly continues after a short bout of silence. He was careful not to use the word ‘rehabilitation,’ for he did not know how the other would react to being sent to a place like that. Hyungwon will surely not appreciate being classified as someone who needed help. “It will just be like a short vacation for you.”

    Seongchan had to wait for a while before Hyungwon finally decided to speak up again. He can tell from how the other had been spacing out, staring down at his own lap and his fingers absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of his jacket’s sleeves, that Hyungwon was thinking.

    “Okay,” Hyungwon says again.

    If the manager had not been paying close attention to the modelesque male, he would have missed the barely heard response. For some reason, Seongchan was both relieved and concerned about the younger’s lack of objections.

*

    “Are you sure  that you don’t want anyone of us to drive you there?” Kihyun questioned as Hyungwon zipped up is luggage bag. He was leaving in a few hours-- at the break of dawn, in order to arrive at the center early. Usually, Hyungwon hated early schedules but he did not want anyone to see him off when he left, much less bother anyone by letting them accompany him there.

    “I’ll be fine,” he tries to assure the other. “Don’t worry about me.”

    After their talk on the rooftop weeks ago, Hyungwon had somehow found himself letting Kihyun inside his little bubble, although barely. The other members thought it was better than Hyungwon refusing to talk to anyone else.

    “You better call me from the center once you get there, Chae Hyungwon,” Kihyun says, his habitual bossy tone making an appearance. The younger rolled his eyes before saying, “Yes, Eomma.”

    Kihyun was just too happy to hear Hyungwon’s sassy tone that he did not bother to even reprimand the other for calling him eomma. It had truly been a while. Hopefully, this trip will somehow help the idol deal with what had happened three years ago.

*

    After Kihyun had left him alone, a sigh escapes Hyungwon’s lips as he went to crash in Hoseok’s old bed again. Hyunwoo was out of the dorms tonight because there was a personal emergency he had to take care of while Minhyuk was still with the other members. Hyungwon did not bother to find out what everyone else was doing. It will be his last night in their dorm for a while so he wanted to use his lover’s bed instead of his own. He was just too tired.

*

    Dawn comes not long after and Hyungwon is awoken by the sound of his phone’s alarm. Under normal circumstances, it would take more than an alarm to wake the male up. But Hyungwon had a nightmare (again) that involved Hoseok and him spending time with each other like they used to until the older was forced out of his hold. The usually deep sleeper now turned into a light one and he hoped none of the other members had noticed. If they did, they were doing a great job of pretending they don’t.

    With a soft groan, Hyungwon roused from Hoseok’s bed and groggily stood up, making his way to the bathroom in order to wake himself  up more and start preparing. The male starts of by dousing himself with cold water from the sink and then proceeded to brush his teeth. As he does so, he was able to catch his own reflection at the mirror and he noted how tired he looked. Deep, dark bags were under his eyes and his usually tan face was a bit pale. Even his lips looked as if they had lost their usual pinkish red color.

    A sigh escapes the male’s lips after he spit out the toothpaste from his mouth and washed the remaining suds away. What had happened to him? Why was he being like this? It was clear to everyone that he had given up after Hoseok disappeared. Hyungwon knew Hoseok would not be happy with how he was acting now. But no matter how hard he tried, he found it difficult to try and act normal. After Hoseok had disappeared, a part of Hyungwon had disappeared with him. A part of him that the younger did not know if he can ever get back.

    A shower. Hyungwon needed a shower before he was fully consumed by his thoughts again. Without thinking, the male stripped off his clothes and walked into the shower, letting the lukewarm water wash away everything that had been on his mind.

I might try cross posting this on AO3. Admittedly, it's been three years since I last attempted to write fanfiction so please bear with me. Please tell me what you think of the story so far. It will be greatly appreciated. HMU on my twitter @Elliadne if you ever need anything ^^