Nip the Bud

OC POV- First Person!
Warning: Cursing

Words: 1215

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“Well I hope he dies,” I huffed and sat in my seat.

Jongin widened his eyes in horror at my declaration. “How can you say that-,” 

“Whatever, Jongin,” I interrupted, “tell him to ing face his problems so he doesn’t have to keep running.” I crossed my arms on my chest and turned away from him.

He tousled his hair with a groan and returned to his assigned seat in the classroom. 

The notorious Byun Baekhyun, who sat directly in front of me, turned in his chair to face me. He rested his elbow on the edge of the desk and raised an eyebrow. “Well ,” he cursed while rubbing his hands together, “what did ‘goodie-two-shoes’ Kim Jongdae do?”

“None of your damn business- turn BACK, BACKhyun.”

He scowled at the pun and turned his back on me. He muttered something along the lines of ‘arrogant ’, but I was too tired to deal with his sass. I leaned back in my chair and massaged the bridge of my nose. ing Jongdae used his sweet stepbrother, Jongin, to ask me if he could stay at my place. Pishhhh, he needs to face his problems like a grown-up! Not run from them, sheesh...

I sighed and took out my books from my backpack to organize my workspace. The teacher came in just in time and started the lesson of today’s class.

 

In the middle of the lesson, my phone vibrated in my blazer pocket. At first, I tried to ignore it, but the constant vibration distracted me from the lesson. I internally groaned and sneaked a peek at my phone. I saw 7 missed calls from Jongdae.

I swear he’s getting too desperate about staying at my place! I tucked the phone back into my pocket and resumed taking notes.

 

The class ended and it was time to switch classrooms for the next period. I packed away my notes and checked my phone again. This time I had 15 messages and 6 missed calls. I furrowed my brows with a hint of worry. I shook my head in defeat and headed straight to the bathroom to call him back.

The moment I called him, it was picked up immediately.

“Oh thank the gods you answered,” he said in one breath over the phone, and I inwardly signed in relief when hearing his voice. “I hope you’ve seen my messages if it’s the reason you’re calling.”

“Why are you so desperate to stay over, huh? It’s not like you’re gonna die if you stay elsewhere.”

I can imagine Jongdae sulking at my words. But I can’t baby him anymore and let him crash when he’s in trouble with his parent. As I said before, he must face his problems head-on and stop running.

“Running isn’t gonna solve anything, Jongdae,” I muttered while drawing circles on the tile floor with the tip of my shoe, “it’ll eventually catch up with you.”

“I’ll be ready when it does. But right now,” he sighed, “I can’t face them yet. I’m not ready for whatever comes.”

As much as I cared for Jongdae, I was disappointed by his answer. He always does this. Whenever he gets into fights, he comes crawling in my footsteps. 

“No,” I firmly stated, “I’m just so tired of this, Jongdae. How much longer are you gonna keep doing this?”

“I swear this is the last time.”

That’s what he said last time, and the one before, and one before that one.

“Jongdae-“

“I know, I know,” he quickly interrupted, “ and I really mean it. It’s the last time so please, please,” his voice cracked. I can tell he’s on the verge of tears. This hurt me as much as it hurt him, but I’ve been through so much because of him. I needed to stop myself from falling any deeper into his problems. I've tried multiple times to help him out with his problems but it always ended the same way: never being accountable for his mistakes. This was the only way I could help him, by not letting him make any more excuses for himself and not relying on my constant help.

“Jongdae, I love you so so much. But no means no. Don’t call me until you’ve sorted your problems out. I’m so sick of you dragging me into them. I tried to help you every time, but this isn't getting resolved if you keep coming to me for help...”

“How can you say you love me and then do this to me,” I heard his soft sniffs and shaken tone, “I swear to you, this is the last time. Don’t do this to me. I love you, too. I need you-“

“I believe you can do it without me. Please, Jongdae. If you truly care for me, and everyone around you, you’ll talk to your parents, and face the consequences. I know you can. Jongin is gonna be there too-“

“Please,” he sobbed.

I closed my eyes, taking in all the emotions from the call. I honestly don’t know what to tell him anymore. My eyes were stinging and my heart was aching so damn much. I want to say ‘yes’ so bad but then it’ll end the same way it always did: he waits until everything cools down and make his choices again and he comes running to me again so he doesn’t have to face his parents' wrath when they find out what he did. It’s a never-ending cycle. When will he grow up and be accountable? Make good choices for himself? He seemed like he was never gonna change and it was emotionally and physically draining for me that I was constantly worried for him. I was interfering with my own life. Always wanting to drop whatever I was doing and run to his side.

My lips were quivering and my hands were shaking. I’m on the verge of breaking and saying yes. How much more can he keep doing this to me?

I take in a deep breath to hopeful calm myself. This needs to end today. I won't be helping him anymore. But the what-ifs crept into my heart, making me question myself. Maybe, just maybe, I could help him out this last time. I’ll be stronger next time and tell him no.

“Jongdae,” I softly began, and just as I was about to make the decision I regret again, another girl entered the bathroom and started washing her hands. Seeing her, minding her own business snapped something in me. I really need to stop caring. I really need to stop doing this because the pain is going to hurt him more than it’ll hurt me.

The girl left afterward and I took another deep breath and harden my heart. “Stop doing this to me,” and I ended the call.

I leaned onto the tiled wall and collapsed. I was shaking so much after realizing what I did. I refused to help Jongdae, and as scary as it was, it was more painful. Yet I felt a burden lift off my shoulders as well as a tight grip on my heart.

I curled my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Feeling the tears threatening to fall, I buried my face and cried.

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