[ note: I think I must clear this up? Yongguk's present hospital room is a solo one, while the one he used before (the one where he gets flashbacks of Kenta), was a shared room, with a capacity of 6, hence there were 6 beds. ]

October 17, 2017

In silence, the room remained. Kenta was just lying on his own bed, contently staring at Yongguk who owns the bed next to him, as he read a book for cats. Because the said Yongguk just loves cats so much.

"It's tomorrow, isn't it?" Kenta broke the silence, but not his stare to his roommate, who still didn't take his eyes off the book.

"Mhm." Yongguk replied shortly, as he turned the book to a new page, and Kenta shifted his position, so he was sitting upright, facing the cat lover.

"Hmm... You're going to live, right?" He asked, out of the blue, and tried to sound casual, but his fingers were fidgeting, and that gave him away.

"What's with you, hyung?" He chuckled. It was then that he put the book down and turned to the elder's eyes. "I hope I will." He continued and gave him the goofy smile which makes the other's heart ache even more. Their eyes stay in contact for about a minute, before Kenta decided to break it, for he was about to waver.

"You will!" He hissed, earning another chuckle from Yongguk., which made him smile, too.

But Yongguk could see through his smile. It wasn't genuine as how it used to be. It was anything but happy. Perhaps, he was afraid, too.

Even Yongguk himself was afraid, and anxious for the worst thing that may come, but thinking about it won't do him any good. So, he just decided to put on a façade of false bravery.

Yongguk stood up from his bed and went over the elder's. He slightly bent down so he could meet Kenta's eyes to a level, and ruffled his hair, softly but enough to mess a few strands. "Don't worry. I'll see you, again, soon." He assured, and went a few steps back to his bed, and sat on it, facing Kenta.

Kenta's smile faltered, his feelings were completely wavering, at that moment. And he could feel his own eyes, stinging to quite an extent.

"Oh?" Kenta unconsciously said, as he felt warm liquid stream down his cheeks, without prior notice. "Ah... I'm crying?" Kenta tried hard to joke about the situation, but it doesn't help either of them. Yongguk sighed, which made Kenta feel even worse. Why was he such a crybaby? But the tears won't stop. It just won't stop, at all, no matter how many times he wipes his tears.

Yongguk stood up and made his way over to him again. He cupped his cheeks, not minding getting his palms wet. He wiped his tears, with his thumb, and looked straight at the elder's eyes. It was then that Kenta realized that Yongguk wasn't as calm as he thought he was. Kenta felt Yongguk's fingers tremble, and the way his eyes looked at him with concern.

Kenta felt his heart beat much faster at the gesture Yongguk did. He found the courage to smile at the younger man, to which the younger returned with a wider one.

"When you get better..." Kenta softly said, trying his best not to crack his voice. "Let's play hide and seek." He trailed off, which made Yongguk raise an eyebrow at him in confusion.

"What?" Yongguk replied, as his mind processed what Kenta wanted. Then, he chuckled at him, as he retrieved his hands, and stood at his normal height. "You're such a child, hyung." He said and backed away to his bed.

Kenta just smiled and said, "I'll hide. You'll seek." With much brightness in his tone.

"Okay." Yongguk answered with ignorance whether Kenta's smile was genuine or not.

It wasn't.

"You have to find me, alright?" Kenta's smile disappeared, but Yongguk just furrowed his eyebrows. Nonetheless, he nodded at his strange request, and lied on his bed.

"Good night, Yongguk-ah." Kenta said, as if it was a real goodbye. As if it was the last. His words were quite slurred, but it doesn't take away the hint of sadness Yongguk felt from Kenta.

"Good night, Kenta hyung." He replied, because he was too sleepy to pry on Kenta's words further.

And maybe... Just maybe, doing so was a big mistake Yongguk didn't know he made.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 30, 2017

"For the meantime, you'll stay in this room. Just press this button, if you need help." The doctor advised Yongguk, who was lying on his back on a hospital bed, with a bandaged head. He slightly nodded to the doctor, and the doctor left the room, shortly after.

The young man felt uncomfortable, as he felt a quite chilly breeze of the air blow, but he was too sleepy to care about it, despite knowing the windows weren't open nor the door. Maybe it was the air conditioner.

Next thing he heard was the yanking of the bed next to his, the one nearest to the window. Yongguk's was in the middle of two beds on the left side of the room.

However, Yongguk shrugged it off. Maybe his head was playing with him, he was hurt, after all. Shortly after, Yongguk slipped into dreamland, before he could realize that, strange enough, he didn't hear the door slide, not even footsteps. Just the yanking of the bed beside his, and soft breathing of someone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

July 1, 2017

"Hi! I'm Takada Kenta. K-E-N-T-A. Ken from Kenkou, Ta from Futoi. Kenta! And obviously, I'm Japanese!" A man with a cutely arranged teeth, perfectly highlighting his snaggletooth, curly brown locks covering his forehead, and soft-looking cheeks that Yongguk may or may not want to poke depending on his mood. But his mood wasn't particularly good. It was 7 o'clock in the morning, he felt sleepy, but the moment he opened his eyes, he had to be greeted by a cheerful man named Kenta whom he doesn't even want to talk to.

He stared at the Japanese man, blankly as he tried to process what in the world was happening. He didn't know he was sharing the room with someone else, since there was no one when he was wheeled to the room. Kenta just stared right back at him, with an energetic smile, which the other found weird. How could someone smile that wide at 7 o'clock in the morning?

"Yongguk. Kim Yongguk." He finally managed to reply and shook Kenta's extended hand.

"I'm kind of awkward, right? Hehe." Kenta said, and awkwardly chuckled as he retrieved his hand, only to rub the back of his head, ashamed.

Soft. One word Yongguk can describe the man in front of him.

"Has anyone told you that you look like a cat? Because you do look like one." Yongguk blurted out without much thought. Well, he doesn't really have much thought to begin with, anyway. Kenta dropped his arm down, to think for a while about his question. Yongguk can't help but find it weird how this stranger is really thinking about something so trivial. "Dummy. That's something so little, you didn't have to think about it." Yongguk let out his not-so-laugh laugh.

"Huh? Why am I a dummy?" He tilted his head with a frown on his face, which made him look like a kid, and Yongguk definitely wanted to prank him on something, but was too lazy.

"Am I older?" Yongguk changed the topic. "I'm 18."

Kenta snapped back, and grinned at Yongguk as he said, "Oh! I'm older! I'm 19." Of course, Yongguk didn't believe the Japanese man at first, because he looked younger than he was, not to mention his heavily tousled bed hair, which made him look like a kid, and made Yongguk remember the fur of his cats.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

September 13, 2017

To make a nerve-wracking decision, possibly leading to heartbreaking words or exhilarating reversal, is a struggle for Yongguk, who isn't known to be vocal about his feelings. He never once thought about doing something he's currently fumbling for. What if he stutters? What if he gets speechless? What if he ruins everything? What if someone walks through them? What if... What if he rejects him?

Having romantic feelings for someone has never been an experience for Yongguk. He's very shy, when it comes to interacting with people, which greatly resulted to who he is, now. Single, never been confessed to, never confessed, and never been in love. But, perhaps, this day would be the end to some of his "never" and be the start of his "first" and "true". First true love. Sounds dreamy.

He took in a deep breathe, as his hand is on top of his uncontrollable heart.

In a garden of flowers of different colors, and fragrances, the flowers didn't matter, yet it eased his thoughts. The great weather didn't matter, yet it calmed him, as the scenery of which the main subject was Kenta himself unfolds, in his eyes.

The way Kenta's hair dances along the direction of the wind, the way the flowers highlight his figure, the way he is leaning against the railings, the way his back is strangely comfortable to look at, the way the orange sunlight radiates along his way – Everything was perfect. Kenta was perfect, and Yongguk knows it more than Kenta will ever do.

Yongguk coughed, taking Kenta's attention to himself, making him turn around. Yongguk's heart skipped a beat, as soon as he met the other's eyes, which later turned to a crescent shape when he smiled.

That's unfair, hyung. Yongguk said in his mind, feeling the unfairness of the way, his heart beats for the elder.

"Hey." Kenta said, after a deafening but comfortable silence.

The wind blew, seemingly carrying away Yongguk's hesitance, doubts, and just everything in general. Yongguk smiled.

His lips parted to confess those words he'd been keeping, those words that will make or ruin what the two have built together, not minding the chance of regret, and disregarding everything else.

And, at that time, it was as if only Kenta and Yongguk mattered, in their own little worlds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 18, 2017

The sun rose, and morning came. Yongguk looked around, and Kenta did not come into his sight. He wasn't in the room. It felt weird, because Yongguk is finally feeling nervous for later, but his roommate is nowhere in sights.

He slipped his slippers on and walked around the corridors of the hospital. He walked to the garden, the lobby, and the cafeteria. He went to every corner of the building, but Kenta was nowhere to be seen.

He sighed, disappointed in not seeing Kenta the first thing in the morning of the day he dreads the most. Just then, the nurse assigned to Yongguk passed through him, and Yongguk called out for her attention.

"Excuse me, have you seen Kenta?" He asked.

"Hm? Kenta?" The nurse seemed confused for a moment, while slightly fumbling with the pen she's holding.

"He's in the same room as mine." He added.

"What do you mean?" The nurse's forehead creased, and her brows furrowed. She was completely confused, but now, she's more confused. "Aren't you the only one in that room?" She added.

Yongguk stared at her with the same look as she has. He was about to say more, but the nurse cut him off, "I'm really sorry, but I need to go." The nurse bowed, and scurried away from him, in just a blink of an eye.

Yongguk doesn't get nervous easily, yet he felt so. He doesn't want to run, yet he did so. And there he was, panting heavily, as he stumbled his way back to his room, with an abnormally ragged breathing, and heartbeat.

His eyes landed on the wall plaque on the wall of the six-bed room.

His shoulders dropped, his eyes blinked in confusion, and he took a step for a clearer view. No. There displayed his name, Kim Yongguk. But Kenta's wasn't there. He stood there, unable to process everything. Where was he? Why was his name not there, anymore?

"Kim Yongguk-ssi?" A female voice called out to him. He turned to her, and saw a nurse in blue scrubs, holding a clipboard on her left hand. He just stared at her, blankly. "It's almost time for your surgery, please stay in your room, as we finish preparations." She continued and left.

And, it was then that Yongguk was unknowingly stuck into a game of hide and seek, seeking for him who used to laugh at the tiniest things, for him who always bothered him for nonsensical things, and for him whom he dearly loved with utmost sincerity, and wholeheartedly – something he'd never done to anyone else before.

Where are you? 

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[ note: slow updates because too busy :'( ]