fos•feen

— noun Physiology. 

1. a luminous image produced by mechanical stimulation of the retina, as by pressure applied to the eyeball by the finger when the lid is closed.

-----

 

Jihoon stops mopping the floor and looks up as he hears the bell chime, signaling the opening of the door. A boy runs in, body soaking wet from the heavy storm outside. Jihoon grips his mop tighter as he recognizes the boy with fiery red hair immediately. He doesn't remember the boy's name, but that's not the issue now. The said boy looks around while ruffling his wet strands of hair, making droplets of water fall on the floor around the puddle he was already standing in. He spots Jihoon and gave him a smile, already planning to walk towards him.

 

"I-wait! Stop. Stay there. Don't move." Jihoon immediately raises his hand to stop him, dropping the mop on the floor in the process. He runs to the staff room, looking for a towel big enough for the boy to dry himself with, before returning back to the front of the convenience store. The boy was no longer smiling, instead he looked like a kicked puppy with pouty lips and huge doe eyes, staring at Jihoon.

 

"Here. Dry yourself with it. It's the biggest one I can find. I don't want you dirtying the floor again." Jihoon grumbled under his breath.

 

The boy widened his eyes, before smiling even wider, eyes crinkled and dimples showing. He thanked Jihoon before taking the towel, his cold hand brushing Jihoon's in the process. Jihoon flinched, and went to retrieve his mop forgotten on the floor.

 

The boy smiled sheepishly as he noticed the puddle he made, before looking up at Jihoon again.

 

"I-uh, I'll move there?" He pointed to a corner of the store which was relatively dryer.

 

Jihoon just nodded while the boy took large strides to refrain from wetting the floor too much. The boy stood awkwardly at the corner of the store while Jihoon was busy mopping up the wet mess.

 

It was silent, aside from the reverberating growl of the thunder outside. Jihoon likes it. He feels a sense of comfort knowing that it is cold and lonely under the ruthless storm outside yet he is situated in a warm shop with no one — well, one person now. The other boy shifted around uncomfortably, obviously not used to the silence.

 

"I-uh, hi!" Jihoon looks up with a raised eyebrow. "I'm Seungcheol!"

 

Ah yes, Seungcheol. How could he forget.

 

Seungcheol, the well-loved volleyball player in Pledis High. The boy that charms his way around both girls and boys (sometimes even teachers). The Seungcheol that Jihoon hears girls talking about how he is an ideal boyfriend material, the Seungcheol that Jihoon hears boys saying that they want to be like him. To cut it short, Seungcheol and Jihoon are just in two completely different leagues.

 

"Lee Jihoon." Jihoon nods back at him and returns to mopping the floor.

 

It wasn't like Jihoon was bullied in school or an outcast. Jihoon is just a rather introverted person, satisfied with his group of three friends, and never really had a chance to get into the spotlight. Not that he wanted to.

 

--------

 

The next night, Seungcheol comes running in soaked again. Jihoon, sitting behind the cashier, looks exasperatedly at him. Seungcheol smiles sheepishly at him yet again.

 

"Jihoon-ssi! I'm here to return your towel!"

 

"Why don't you just– just take the towel and wipe yourself dry again and return it the next time when it's not raining and you're not soaking wet?"

 

"Ah. I didn't think much, just thought that you wouldn't feel good without your towel." Seungcheol ruffled his wet hair, again. 

 

"I'd feel better if the floor was completely dry and I don't have to mop it again."

 

Seungcheol laughs.

 

Jihoon wonders if it was normal for his heart to miss a beat.

 

Ah, so this is how Seungcheol charms everyone off their feet. 

 

-------

 

The next night, it didn't rain.

 

Jihoon starts counting down till when his shift is over in thirty minutes. He mildly wonders if Seungcheol is going to make his way here today.

 

"Penny for your thoughts, Jihoon-hyung?"

 

"If you'd give me a penny I might actually tell you, Kim Mingyu."

 

Jihoon doesn't have to turn back to see his coworker, Mingyu, rolling his eyes at him. At that moment, the bell chimed as Seungcheol walked in.

 

"Ah! Jihoon-ssi! Here's your towel! Thank you so much for the other two days!" Seungcheol gave him his 100-watt smile, dimples in its full glory.

 

Mingyu's eyes shifted back and forth from Seungcheol to Jihoon. Since when does Jihoon willingly lend his towel to someone else?

 

"Uh, no problem." Jihoon awkwardly bowed back at Seungcheol, taking the towel with two hands.

 

"Okay, I'll make my leave now! See you again?" Seungcheol waved as he opened the door. Just at that moment, the sky started grumbling and droplets of water started falling from the sky.

 

Jihoon wonders if the rain has anything against Choi Seungcheol.

 

-------

 

The last time Jihoon shared an umbrella with a tall person (read: Kim Mingyu), it ended up with him being completely wet due to the umbrella being held too high. So, to say that Jihoon was reluctant to offer his umbrella to Choi Seungcheol was an understatement.

 

However, it wasn't like Jihoon could ignore the giant puppy standing aimlessly at the glass door, watching the heavy rain pelt down from outside. Jihoon was sure that if Seungcheol was an actual puppy, his ears and tails will be flopping down.

 

"Seungcheol-ssi, we could, uh," Jihoon gestures wildly at the umbrella, "Share if you need to get home."

 

Jihoon heard someone whistle behind him. Maybe it was just the wind.

 

Seungcheol shot him a kind smile. "Only if you want to."

 

The thing is, it wasn't like Jihoon desperately wanted to share an umbrella with him, but Jihoon isn't that heartless (in contrary to everyone's belief) to leave Seungcheol in the store waiting for the rain to stop.

 

"I-uh, okay, lets go." Jihoon pushed open the glass door to feel the wind gushing directly at him. Jihoon immediately regretted his decision. They both of them were going to get wet even with an umbrella. Jihoon scrunched his face when he felt the cold air hitting him at full force. He quickly shut the door again. He heard soft chuckles coming from Seungcheol beside him, and turned around to question him.

 

His words died in his throat upon turning around, just in time to witness Seungcheol removing his hoodie, with his white shirt underneath riding up to show his toned stomach. Not that Jihoon was paying attention to that. He stared at Seungcheol in confusion as Seungcheol passed him his hoodie wordlessly. Seungcheol looked at him expectantly while Jihoon just held his hoodie, tilting his head in confusion.

 

"Aigoo, you're so cute. Just put it on." Seungcheol laughed and patted his head. Jihoon made a noise in protest. He was still confused about why he had to put on Seungcheol's hoodie, hence didn't pursue the matter. Oh well, Jihoon's main priority was to get home fast, and complied without a second thought.

 

Once Jihoon had put the hoodie on, Seungcheol took hold of his umbrella and opened the door again. Seungcheol grabbed Jihoon by the shoulder and pulled him close. Jihoon totally didn't let out a squeak at the sudden action. He looked up to see Seungcheol, smiling at him again, holding the umbrella up for him at gesturing for him to walk.

 

Jihoon, firmly under Seungcheol's tight hold on his shoulder, started to walk in the direction of his apartment. Surprisingly, Jihoon didn't feel the full force of the rain despite their (significant) height difference. He turned his head in Seungcheol's direction, to see Seungcheol tilting the umbrella towards his direction so that Jihoon would be completely covered. It was then that Jihoon realised that they were walking towards his apartment, not Seungcheol's.

 

"Ah, Seungcheol!" Jihoon fought with the loud pitter-patter of the raindrops. "We were supposed to go to your apartment to drop you off first!"

 

Maybe it was that Jihoon wasn't loud enough compared to the rain, but Seungcheol continued to walk forward without a care. This resulted Jihoon to just stop abruptly. The duo stopped suddenly under the pelting rain with Seungcheol's attention fully on him now.

 

Jihoon repeated his statement.

 

Seungcheol just shrugged it off and told Jihoon to keep walking. Jihoon, confused for the nth time in the day, stares at him for a bit before continuing to walk, wanting to get out of the cold as fast as he could.

 

They reached Jihoon's apartment without anymore interruptions. Jihoon slowly retreated from Seungcheol's hold and slowly turned to look at Seungcheol. To his dismay, the boy was half-drenched (again) at his left, his white T-shirt sticking to his body. Seungcheol held out the closed umbrella, returning it to Jihoon.

 

Jihoon shook his head vigorously. "No, you take it. It's still raining outside and you need to get home."

 

"No can do, Jihoon." Seungcheol grinned and patted his head again. "What if it rains tomorrow?" Seungcheol held Jihoon's arm up and plopped the umbrella in his hand. "I'll get going! I'll see you soon?"

 

Seungcheol ran off after that.

 

Jihoon was still wearing Seungcheol's hoodie. He wonders if Seungcheol's kind personality was why people were attracted to him.

 

-------

 

The next time Jihoon saw him was in school. Jihoon was sitting in the school cafeteria, eating his lunch while Seungkwan and Soonyoung were chatting non-stop. What caught Jihoon's attention was when the former stopped talking in the middle of his sentence and stared blankly at the entrance. Jihoon knew who was walking through the door immediately as only one person had the ability to stop Seungkwan from talking. What he didn't expect was his name being shouted out loudly amidst the squeals of the girls around him.

 

"Jihoon! Is that you?" Both Soonyoung and Seungkwan stared at Jihoon in disbelief as Jihoon stopped eating, spoon halfway in his mouth.

 

He turned around to see Seungcheol walking alongside with Wonwoo and Hansol — towards him. Seungcheol was waving wildly at Jihoon with the signature (cute) smile of his, with Hansol acknowledging Seungkwan with a slight bow and Wonwoo just staring straight at Jihoon (into Jihoon's soul).

 

"Hey guys. Can we crash with you? There seems to be no empty tables around." Seungcheol asked, with his smile still plastered on his face. Jihoon looked around in confirmation and there were indeed no tables around. Jihoon was sure that the girls will be more than willing to give up their tables for the trio though. However, even before Jihoon could let out a word, Seungkwan was frantically nodding his head, gesturing to the empty seats.

 

Soonyoung snorted and told the two that he had to meet Seokmin, making his leave abruptly. Jihoon thinks that Soonyoung has a grudge against Wonwoo. Well, he'll just have to confirm with him later.

 

Back to the matter at hand. Seungcheol was sitting directly opposite him, sandwiched between both Wonwoo and Hansol. Jihoon, at a lost of what to say, decided to continue eating his rice without a care.

 

They sat in silence. The ever-chatty Seungkwan was also eating his bread in silence, taking nervous glances around. Seungcheol, who seemed to be the most uncomfortable with the silence, sat up and said, "Ah! We haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Seungcheol, this is Hansol and Wonwoo! I know Jihoon, and you are?" He directed his question towards Seungkwan.

 

"I'm Seungkwan, and uh, I'm in the same history class as Hansol and I'm Jihoonie's best friend or so I hope haha–" Jihoon placed a comforting hand on Seungkwan's knee to signal him to stop rambling.

 

Hansol shot a smile to Seungkwan and silence ensued. Only the sounds of metal hitting the plate and chewing can be heard.

 

Jihoon looked up — to see Seungcheol staring directly at him. "W-what?" Jihoon stuttered, not used to people staring at him when he was eating. He could feel his face heat up.

 

Seungcheol wordlessly extended his hand in Jihoon’s direction, touching the corner of Jihoon’s face. Seungcheol then smiled and all Jihoon could see was his mouth moving. Perhaps, he was too flabbergasted by Seungcheol’s actions, he didn’t catch a word.

 

“I–what?”

 

“I said, you have a grain of rice at the corner of your mouth.”

 

Jihoon directed his gaze to Seungcheol’s finger, where there indeed was a grain of rice.

 

“Oh,” Jihoon blurted out. “Thank you.”

 

Jihoon wonders if Seungcheol treats everyone like that.

 

—

 

“Say Jihoon,” Seungcheol made himself comfortable on the cashier tabletop, “Would you like to come to watch my volleyball match tomorrow?”

 

It had become a routine for the both of them – everyday, they would eat lunch together in school; when Jihoon is working, Seungcheol will periodically make visits.

 

It’s comfortable, Jihoon thinks. As much as Jihoon tries to deny the clench of his heart every time he sees Seungcheol, Jihoon knows that he feels something for Seungcheol. He doesn’t know what this feeling is yet, but he figures time is the only way to find out.

 

“-you can bring your friends along, if you want.” Seungcheol trailed off awkwardly while fiddling with his hands.

 

Jihoon’s head shot up in realization that he hadn’t replied Seungcheol yet. “Sure, tomorrow? I don’t think I have any plans made yet, but I’ll ask Seungkwan.”

 

Seungcheol’s face instantly brightened up. Jihoon wonders if he will lose his sight if he stares at Seungcheol’s blinding smile everyday.

 

—

 

The sports hall was filled with deafening cheers. Both teams had almost equal the amount of supporters cheering them on. Jihoon was, of course, cheering for Seungcheol’s team. Seungkwan was rambling off in his ear about how “that toss was the perfect toss” and “that killer block!”, but Jihoon paid no heed to it. His attention was entirely focused on one person on the court. The way he moves; the way he manages his team on the court; the way he looks around for Jihoon every time he spikes down a ball.

 

Jihoon clenched his fists tightly. Seungcheol’s team was at match point, with the opponent team closely following behind with a difference of one point. The rally has been going on for more than three minutes already.

 

Finally, a toss was set just at the correct position for Seungcheol to spike it down. He broke past the blockers, with the ball slamming in the court, followed by a deafening silence as everyone was amazed by the scene. The crowd erupted into cheers a few moments later after the realised that Pledis High had won the match.

 

Seungcheol immediately started wildly looking around again. This time, with Seungkwan on his feet screaming loudly, Seungcheol finally, finally found him. Seungcheol shot him the widest smile Jihoon has ever seen so far. Jihoon, unable to control his joy for Seungcheol anymore, smiled back at him while cutely raising his hands and clapping.

 

Seungcheol’s smile faltered and he just stared straight at Jihoon. At that moment, his team called for him to do the final greetings. Both teams made their way to different areas of the spectators’ stand, bowing to the audience, thanking them for their support.

 

Jihoon stood up and clapped for both teams. Honestly, he didn’t expect the match to be played out so well. He now knows why Seungkwan is so enthusiastic about volleyball now.

 

Seungcheol ran to Jihoon’s side of the stand. People were already slowly making their way out of the stadium.

 

Seungcheol looked up at Jihoon. “Wait for me?” Seungcheol panted, not having recovered from the match.

 

Jihoon nodded while Seungcheol ran off again. Seungkwan grinned at Jihoon. “So....about you and Seungcheol....” he started off. Jihoon threw his empty bottle at Seungkwan, who just spiked it down and laughed.

 

“Seriously though,” Seungkwan sat down, ”I approve of Seungcheol.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said, I approve of Seungcheol.” Seungkwan repeated. “He may seem like a playboy, but I honestly think he’s genuine towards you. Heck, I don’t even know how you don’t see the love in his eyes.”

 

Jihoon looked down at his lap. How can Seungkwan always read what he’s thinking?

 

“I-I’m gonna go to the washroom.” Jihoon abruptly stood up, planning to go to clear his thoughts.

 

—

 

Should I buy a drink for Seungcheol? What if he has a drink already? Jihoon stood aimlessly in front of a vending machine. He eyed the choices on the vending machine. Screw it, it wouldn’t hurt to have more than one right?

 

Jihoon fished out loose change from his pocket and bought an isotonic drink. He walked back, with a bottle held tightly in both of his hands. He wonders why Seungcheol asked him to wait. Perhaps he just wants to celebrate his victory.

 

Jihoon walked past a room with the door ajar, with PLEDIS HIGH VOLLEYBALL stated on the wall.

 

“–I really like you. Would you go out with me?”

 

Jihoon snapped his head up upon hearing that familiar voice. He looked into the room, just to see Seungcheol, holding a bouquet of flowers, facing another guy on his team.

 

Jihoon, flustered, fumbled with the bottle in his hands and dropped it.

 

I should’ve known. I should’ve known.

 

Both parties turned around to look at him.

 

“I-I didn’t mean to listen. I’m sorry.” Jihoon bent down to pick up the bottle. He felt his eyes watering, but he was determined not to cry over such a thing.

 

Jokes on me for thinking that Seungcheol will like someone like me.

 

“Jihoon, wait-no! This is not what it looks like!” Seungcheol shouted.

 

Jihoon ran.

 

—

 

“Let’s go.” Seungkwan looked up, only to see Jihoon standing in front of him, eyes and nose red. Upon seeing Seungkwan look up, Jihoon started walking.

 

“Wait, what? What about Seungcheol? Jihoon!” Seungkwan ran after him.

 

Seungkwan, at a loss for words, awkwardly slung his arm around Jihoon as he caught up.

 

“Are you okay? What happened back there?”

 

Sniffle.

 

“–Jihoon, don’t cry! Please don’t cry, what hap-“

 

“Jihoon!” A booming loud voice was heard from behind them, followed by footsteps that were increasing in volume.

 

Jihoon was forced to turn around as a hand pulled him and turned him around.

 

“Jihoon, I-“ Seungcheol started.

 

“Stop toying with me any longer! How long are you planning to keep this act up!” Jihoon pulled his hand back and stared up angrily at Seungcheol.

 

“Don’t ever say that I was toying with you Jihoon.” Seungcheol’s face instantly changed. “I would never toy with you.”

 

Seungcheol sighed. “Look, Jihoon. Can you hear me out?”

 

When Jihoon didn’t respond, Seungcheol looked at Seungkwan, who took that as his cue to leave.

 

“I didn’t want to do it like this, but I guess I have no choice now.”

 

Jihoon closed his eyes tightly, ready for the final impact. 

 

“I like you, Jihoon.”

 

I knew it .  I knew Seungcheol was  just  playing with– wait, what?

 

Jihoon’s head shot up in surprise, only to meet Seungcheol’s warm eyes and gentle smile. 

 

“I like you, Lee Jihoon.” Seungcheol repeated, brushing the tear stain on Jihoon’s cheek gently with his thumb. Jihoon didn’t even know that he was crying. 

 

“B-but, what about you and–“ Jihoon started, recalling the scene he witnessed. 

 

“Long story short, Jeonghan was helping to rehearse my confession to you. I told myself, if I won the match, I will confess to you. I planned out the most romantic confession to you, but of course the nerves still got to me. All I was thinking was what if Jihoon rejects me because I fumbled on a word? What if Jihoon rejects me because my confession was too simple? Of course I had to rehearse.” Seungcheol looked so, so fond that Jihoon felt like he would become a puddle if this goes on. 

 

“Don’t be silly, Seungcheol.” Jihoon laughed. “If I really like you I wouldn’t reject you no matter how horrible your confession may be.”

 

Jihoon wiped his tears, relieved that Seungcheol did not actually confess to someone else. 

 

“Is that a hint to me, Lee Jihoon?” Seungcheol grinned. “I like you, Lee Jihoon. Will you go out with me?”

 

Jihoon shyly nodded his head. He expected to receive another blinding smile from Seungcheol, and he was right. Jihoon feels like the luminous image of Seungcheol’s smile will forever be etched behind his eyelids, but he doesn’t mind it this way. 

 

What Jihoon didn’t expect was Seungcheol pulling him into a tight hug, pushing his head against his chest. Jihoon, too happy for words, just smiled and wrapped his arms around Seungcheol’s waist. 

 

Jihoon doesn’t need to wonder anymore. Jihoon now knows, that they belong to each other.

 

Jihoon doesn’t mind if the rain is against Seungcheol, he’ll walk though all the thunderstorms with him, hand in hand.

 

“Say, do you want to grab lunch? I’m hungry after using all my energy during the match.”