Jihoon POV

Why does life have to be so unfair?

Why does it hold you back from wanting to do what you love most?

In my case, love has been unfair for me since the start of my life. 

". . . Your a friend." I said, He cracks a half smile and sits back

"I see, . . Is that it?" I nod

"That's how I feel about you." It felt like a stab in my heart. 

Did lying always feel this guilty?

"O-oh, I-I see," He looks down while playing with his fingers. I press my lips together tight and softly whisper

"I'm so sorry" his small little tears rolled down his face quietly. He didn't speak a word.

"Jihoon, it would be great if you could go before me. Like, right now." I grab my bag and head out

Breath Jihoon, Breath

". . . I'm really sorry. . . I can't return the favor." I turned my back and smiled. There was still little happiness in my heart. Surrounded by agony and despair. At this point I didn't know what to do.

I ran all the way to school and pushed everyone in the halls out of my way. I quickly went to the bathroom looking at my puffy face.

Your a monster, a terrible person for leading him on.

You should just tell him and be done with it.

He'll probably hate you for it. But that doesn't matter to you.

All you care about is your image, your reputation

You've never once showed your true self it's odd huh?

If you were never willing to be yourself why start now?

It would be a waste of time anyways

I wipe away my tears and splash my face with water. It's right to tell him today.

I walk out of the bathroom. It didn't matter if people gave me werid looks I was just fixated on my new mission. Today was the day it was the day I was going to tell him. I make my way to the Dance Studio and open the door. Only Daniel was there sleeping with a piece of jelly hanging out of his mouth. I tiptoe my way and put my bag down quietly.

"Mornin to you too," I turn around to see Daniel hyung sitting up and waving towards me

"Hey. . . I came to give my letter of registration. I'm discontinuing my position in the Dance Club." Daniel completely ignores me and says

"Did you cry?" 

"Um. . . My letter-"

"Answer my question first. Did you cry?" I press my   together and nod

"I did, it was something that happened this morning." I take a deep breath. "Anyways m-my letter-"

"Wanna talk about it? I've been said to be a good listener. I could help you." He completely ignores me again

"Uh, no I need to hand this-"

"Sit down." Daniel hyung points to a spot next to him

"Daniel hyung. I told you I don't wanna talk about it."

"Sit down. You won't feel better if you don't let it out." He smiles. I reluctantly sat down and he layed down on the wooden floor. "Now, tell me." 

And surprisingly I did tell him, I felt it was for the best that one of the closest people to me know. I wanted him to know how I was feeling all these years.

"I just felt so werid. It didn't feel good how I was lying about my feelings." Daniel smiles 

"This defineitly proves that people change when they fall in love." I shake my head

"No. I don't believe I've changed. I've just develop a stuffy feeling in my chest." His face grows serious

"Jihoon-ah, have you not realized that you've been lying to us all your life?" I stop and freeze

"I'm sorry?" He sits up and looks me dead in the eye

"Look, I've known you for 7 years. Since you were 10! You've always put on this smile that looked sweet and sincere on the outside. Which is why I never asked you about your personal life. I would have never guess you where hurting inside." He frowns at me. "In a way, I'm a little dissapointed in you. But I'm also happy, that you decide to open up." Daniel ruffles through my hair and smiles. "You've worked hard up until now. Why would you quit dance club over this?" I turn girm and look away turning to my bag and pulling out the pamphelet.

"This is why." I turn back and give him the paper.

He's going to hate me

He's going to hate me

He's going to hate me 

"Jihoonie. . . .

He hates me 

He hates me

He hates me

"This is great! This is one of the most protigious and famous boarding schools in the world! Your going to do great there! Congrats!" He smiles widely at me

"Your not angry?" He looks at me confused

"I mean I'm a little sad that your leaving,  but Jihoon, isn't this your dream school?" 

"I mean, yes it is. But won't you be sad?" 

"Jihoon I've been telling you the same thing since the beginning. DO what YOU want and reach for your dream." 

". . . I think I have to go now. . . Um. . Thanks for everything up until now. I really owe you one." He stands up and pats my head 

"Whoever your chasing after. You shouldn't leave them hanging. At least tell them how you feel. It's better to make them understand how your feeling rather then  leaving them on a confusion note." He places his hands on his hips and smiles. 

"B-but, I don't understand how I feel." He looks at me and frowns

"Jihoon-ah, there's only two answers to love. You love them or you don't love them. There is no in between." I my lips

"But what if-" you feel in between? What happens when that happens? Was what I wanted to say. But it couldn't come out of my mouth. "I think I should leave now." I press my lips together and gather my bag. "And... Thanks, again for understanding." I smile and close the door.

I knew what I had to do now.

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Narrator POV

Park Jihoon was a little boy that was the very definition of a "perfect child" with a so-called "perfect life". He had everything he wanted, loving parents, lots of friends, a perfect personality, and gifted with angel-like features. But he had always felt lonely inside. It felt empty. 

But he never told anyone.

He woke up and did what he would do every morning. He would wash up and brush his teeth and pull on his morning clothes, pulling over a white knitted sweater and black jeans. And went out to eat breakfast.

"Good morning sweetheart!" His mom kisses his head softly as he sits down and chomps down on his pancakes. And looked over at his little sister who had just woken up from her nap with a white stuffed bunny carried in her arm. As she sat down on a chair next to him, he feed her his pancakes with small bites at a time while his mom brushed her hair.

"What type of milk do you guys want for you lunch today?" She asked starting to pack their lunches on the kitchen counter

"I want strawberry today!" Jihoon said 

"I wanna choco milk." Jihoon smiled at his sisters words as he gave her the last bite of his pancakes

"Mom! I finished my food!" He dropped his plate in the sink and headed to his room to pack his bag once he came out she was standing there with his light pink hoodie she got for his birthday. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Now it's extremely cold outside. Don't forget to wear your jacket okay?" Jihoon pouted and crossed his arms

"I'm a big boy now mom! Plus it's not even that cold out side! I'll be fine!" She smiled at her son's fierce spirit but protested

"Look you can take it off when your at school. But wear it for now." He gave in and slipped on his light pink hoodie 

"Is this good enough?" He said sulking. She smiled and patted his head 

"It's great! Now remember you can only take it off when your inside!. And remember to put it back on when your playing at recess or walking home. Okay?" He nodded and put on his sneakers as he head for the door, he slipped on his backpack and waved his mom goodbye.

"Sweetie! Your lunch box!" She quickly packed in his sandwiches and snacks and acidentally placed in Jaemi's chocolate with his strawberry milk. But it was already to late for her to realized her mistake. Before she closed the lunchbox and stopped him from going outside. "Your gonna starve without this!" She stuffed his lunchbox inside his bag and zipped it up.

"Well Hyungseob is gonna freeze if he stands there any longer!" Jihoon points to the small boy waiting for him at the gates of his house. She hands him a white knitted scarf.

"And don't forget to wear this." He pushes the scarf back to her

"Mom! I don't need anymore! I'm fine!" She shook her head at her stubborn child

"Okay, if you won't wear it give it to Hyungseob." She smiled and patted his head and waved goodbye as her son headed out the door.

Jihoon ran down to greet a shivering Hyungseob with a large blue jacket and gloves.

"Geez, why are you dressed up like a snowman?" Jihoon asked drapping the scarf over his neck

"Thanks, my mom told me it was gonna be freezing so I had to put on A LOT of layers." They both started walking down the street as Hyungseob (who was still trembling) looked at Jihoon staring up and down. "And how are you not freezing?!" Jihoon puts his hand on his hips and bravely says

"Because I'm a big boy now!" Hyungseob scoffs

"What are you? Like 5?" Jihoon frowns

"No! I'm 7 years old!" 

"Well you look 5." Hyungseob and Jihoon turns to Woojin behind them coming out from a cafe

"Hey Woojinie!" Hyungseob says brightly 

"Am I the only one questioning how you suddenly popped out of a cafe and started walking with us?" Woojin rolls his eyes at Jihoon

"I was gonna head to school with Minhyunie so I stopped by his parent's cafe hoping he might be their but he wasn't. So I stayed for the free hot cocoa and cookies" 

The boys continued talking before the arrived at the school gates

"Bye guys! I have English in the morning. But I'll see you at recess later!" Hyungseob waves goodbye heading upstairs 

"Okay, I have Science. So yea see you later. " Woojin walks upstairs with Hyungseob as Jihoon says goodbye to both of them. He walks down halls heading to his classroom. He slides open the door to reveal his teacher busy with paper work.

"Good Morning Ms. Lee!" He smiles widely as he places down his pink backpack and pulls out his notebook and pencil case

"Good morning Jihoonie," She smiles as she pats his head. He pulls off his pink hoodie wrapping it on his waist sighing at his mother's words 

*remember to wear it when playing outside!*

"Don't sigh too much." His teacher laughs

"Why is that?" He wonders in confusion

"You'll lose all of your happiness if you do!" He didn't think much about her statement and asked

"Can I go play outside early please?" His teacher nods as he excitedly runs out of the room. Not thinking twice of his mothers words.

Making his way through the double doors feeling the fresh breeze of air going pass his face. He smiles happily jumping and running around on the grass. But he stops. He sees a boy on a swing. However the boy was wearing a black shirt with long denim overalls. And being a loud extroverted kid he didn't think twice and wanted to meet this mysterious boy. Coming to closer inspection the boy seem sad and he began to see tears forming in his eyes. Jihoon didn't know what to do at this point and just sat beside the boy on a swing next to him. About 5 minutes had passed without either of them saying anything and by then Jihoon felt as if he was going to choke in the long slience.So he jumped off his swing, dusted himself off, and crouched down infront of the little boy staring up at him with his big galaxy-like eyes. Jihoon carefully inspected the boy's small face and defined features. The boy sighed and wiped his watery eyes.

"Don't sigh. You'll lose all of your happiness." Jihoon smiles wiping a tear off the boys face with his thumb.

"I'm sorry?" His voice spoke softly 

"Don't sigh. YOUR happiness go POOF!" Jihoon makes a "poof" effect with his hands which makes the boy break out in a giggle. His laugh was like music to Jihoon's ears which brought a smile to his face.

"Your weird. But I like you!" Jihoon's face flushed with a pink hue and laughed nervously

"Haha... Now stand up and stop moping!" Jihoon held out his hand to the boy as he took it. He felt the boy's ice cold hand that sent shivers through his body.

"Wah! Your freezing!" Jihoon helps him up and unwraps his hoodie and hands it to the boy. "Here wear this!" The boy goes red and hesitantly reaches for the jacket. Jihoon stares at his hand trying to reach for the jacket but ultimately giving up and placing his hand down

"N-no thanks. I'm fine." Jihoon frowns and draps over the hoodie on the boy 

"No. Wear it. Your freezing hengives in and slips on the hoodie 

"But what about you?" He asks as they take a seat on the soft cold grass

"I'll be fine. I have a tolerance to cold weather anyways." Jihoon smiles angelically which gets his heart to skip a beat.

"Your smile is cute~" He pokes Jihoon's soft cheek and smiles. Jihoon reddens and clears his throat 

"Anyways! I'm Park Jihoon!" He reaches out his hand "I'm in 2nd grade!" The boy shakes his hand smiling softly

"Jinyoung, Bae Jinyoung. I'm in 1st grade." Jihoon smiles widely

"That's nice! That means I'm your hyung!" He ruffles through Jinyoung's hair "So call me hyung!" The boy nods and mischieviously smiles 

"That's odd, for someone older you sure don't act or look like your 7 years old." Jihoon stares at him in disbelief of this kid and scoffs running his fingers through his hair

"Ya Bae Jinyoung. For a 1st grader you sure do know how to tick off someone." Jinyoung cheekily stares at him

"Yes, I'm sorry you look like a kindergartener hyung~" Jihoon stands up furiously and puts his hands on his hips 

"Are you mocking me, Bae Jinyoung?!"  Jinyoung stands up only a couple of inches shorter then Jihoon and stares him straight in the eyes

"And what if I am? What are you going to do?" Jinyoung sticks out his tongue and runs away as soon as Jihoon tries to grab him

"YA BAE JINYOUNG! ONCE I CATCH YOU YOUR DEAD!" They start a wild chase around the field with Jinyoung beating Jihoon by a mile. With smiles and giggles and screaming.... My god there's a lot of screaming from Jihoon

"hEY, BAE JINYOUNG, YEAH YOU!" Jihoon aggressivly huffs and slows down "MAN, I'M NOT FIT ENOUGH, STOP RUNN I N G" Jinyoung turns around and stares at him in amusment "LOOK, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M LETTING YOU GO BECAUSE I'M NICE.. NOT BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO DIE FROM RUNNING." Jihoon falls down on the grass as Jinyoung laughs his head off and falls down on the grass full of little giggles.

"Jihoonie hyung! Amazing! Your unbelievable! Hahahahaha!" Jihoon begins to laugh with him as he regains his composure. He falls on to the cold grass next to Jinyoung's head. Both of them lay beside each other with bodies facing opposite directions with their head next to each other, both dying from laughter, both smiling brightly. 

"... Thanks for playing with me today hyung! I'm really gald." Both Jihoon and Jinyoung turn their heads towards each other looking into their eyes

"Don't thank me. I had fun today!" They both smile at each other

The bell interupts their bonding session sensing the other childeren will be released soon for the morning recess. Both of them sit up as Jihoon stands up

"Well. I'll be going now. But thanks for giving m a good time!" Jihoon waves goodbye as he runs back inside the building closing the door behind him.

He was still smiling once he got back to his classroom.

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"Jinyoung.... Can we talk?" Jihoon walks closer to a figure leaning against the rails

"Hey, how did you know I was here?" Jihoon shrugged

"You like quiet and open spaces. You've been like that since you were little." Jihoon smiles at Jinyoung who looks away 

"Or was this your first pick because, this was where we first saw each other since 11 years ago?" Jihoon chuckles and over looks the view of the rooftop

"Maybe, that's up for you to decide." Jinyoung nods quietly to himself

"You were going to speak to me?" Jihoon snaps out of his thoughts and turns to Jinyoung, playing with his fingers, and nervously biting his lips.

"E-eariler you asked how I felt about you."

"And you said I was an important person and that was it." Jihoon felt a stab in his heart with Jinyoung's cold statement 

"It.... well... you see." Jihoon begins playing with his jacket cuffs and looks down

"Hyung.... Are you feeling alright?" Jinyoung touvhes his forehead and Jihoon flinches and steps backwards.

"I lied about it! Okay?! Everything I said about you just only being an important person... I lied about everything... I'm sorry.. I-It's just I-"

"If you had lied. What am I to you actually then?" Jinyoung turns around to see him straight in the eye

He was once afraid to face the truth

Now he isn't turning back on it.

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Author's Note

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I've come back from the dead. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT SO LONG! There has been a lot of things going on and my mind had been pretty messed up. My head was in a pretty dark place. But I'm gald I was able to move on and regain my confidence and optomism! I'm really thankful to all of you that have been patiently waiting! And here you! Thanks for reading my story. And again I'm extremely sorry and thankful to you guy!

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