Jinyoung POV

What happens when. . . . You love someone so much, you’ve been loving them for so long, the moment that you hope they love you back. . .

they don’t.

”I said it’s nothing. Good night.” He releases my firm grip on his wrist as he walks away

”. . . I’ll see you tomorrow!! . . . I guess.”

I open my door and run inside my room not saying anything to my little sister. I flop on my bed without any thoughts. I couldn’t think of anything.

”Oppa. . . Are you sleeping?” I sit up on my bed as my little sister runs towards me

”No I’m not. What’s up?” She sits next to me as she hands me a piece of paper

”I need you to sign this.” I look a the form then turns to her

”Shouldn’t you ask mom for this?” She gives me an unsure look as I nod my head

As expected. . . I wouldn’t even bother to ask her either. Probably won’t even answer.

I place down the sheet and look at her

”Jinne, what is happiness?” She looks at me in a confused way and begins to think

I’m asking an 11 year old what happiness means. . . This is what my life has come to I guess.

”Well first of all it’s a chemical in your brain that-“ 

“No it’s okay, it was a stupid question. I stop by your room later today to give you this okay?” She nods and hops off my bed as she closes the door I bury my face inside my pillow

What kinda idiot asks their 11 year old sister what happiness is?

Well apparently I'm the idiot

I pull out my phone and click on the search bar 

"What is happiness?"

I stop and throw my phone on my bed

What am I doing?! 

I roll over and stare at my ceiling 

"What is this?"

I clutch my chest 

Jihoon POV

I watch as Jinyoung waves gooodbye as the doors close together. 

I can't tell him

I don't want to tell him

It's something I can't do"

Ever.

I walk out of the elevator noticing my mom handing Woojin a box as she walks away, she notices me walking out, she hugs me, and says goodbye

"Hey, what's that?" Woojin hands me the box

"I don't know, you tell me." I walk in and open the box as I take a seat on the counter chair. Pretty generic things for a sleepover like pajamas and my toothbrush but it's that one thing I didn't want to think about today with a letter next to it literally saying "Think about it." I'm shaking just staring at the box. As Woojin walks over and gives a slight nod before heading behind the kitchen counter to pour himself a glass of water.

"Have you decided yet?" He asks not looking up at me as he takes the water jug out of his fridge. I shake my head

"No, I don't know how I should feel."

"Which one, about him or about this?" Woojin's question catches me off guard 

"Why would you like to know?" He laughs taking a small glance at me

"So it's both huh?" I look away drinking my glass of water still on the counter

Of course he would know. Being my best friend has probably given him the ability to guess what's going on in my head 

"On one end of the spectrum I don't want to leave him." Woojin nods 

"And on the other side your unsure of your feelings." I start panicking 

"Yes! I don't know what to do!" I collasped on the floor as he runs over to me

"Okay breath, breath, it's gonna be okay-"

"NO IT'S NOT!!" I'm screaming at the top of my lungs

"Jihoon stop it!" Woojin slaps my cheeks together

"Your fine your gonna be okay."  He hands me a glass of water

"Woojin I can't do this anymore, I don't want this to happen anymore. I've decided." He slaps my face again

"Stop being unreasonable! Get yourself together!" 

"I DO HAVE A REASON!! Please. . . Just leave me alone, I want to be alone, I can't take it anymore." He grabs me by the collar and slams me on the wall

"THAT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE!! STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS!!" 

"Please give me my phone." He punches me 

"NO!! WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?!"

"BECAUSE IT"S MY DECISION!!" He let's out a hostile grunt as he let's go of my collar

"Fine. . . FINE!! Just do what you want. Don't come crying to me when you regret your decison." He hands me his phone 

"I'm sure I will. But this is the best choice of action right now." He scoffs as I drop to the ground

"Your an idiot. A huge . And a horrible friend." He walks away and heads to his room as I dial my mom's number

"Yes? Hello Woojin? I there something you need?" 

"Hey mum, it's me. It's about the form you gave me in the box with the rest of my stuff."

"Oh! Have you decided yet Jihoonie?"

". . .Yea, I have."

"I'm sorry to make you do this, I'm sure it's very hard for you to make the decision."

"No. . . No, it's okay."

"Are you alright? Did you tell Woojinie?"

"Haha. . . Yea I did. We got into a fight, he slapped s whyand punched me because he thought I was going insane when I said I made my decision." 

"Oh no. . . Are you okay? How's Woojin?"

"Yea I'm fine, but. . . I'm sure he isn't."

"I'm sure he isn't either. I wouldn't be. But this is what we want you to do, we want you to succeed in the future."

"I know, that's always your goal for me. To be the best person I can be. You've always loved me that way."

"We know, but now you need to know that you need to go out on your own. We want to give you independence Jihoonie. We want you to experience more things that aren't fake. We want you to experience love and freedom. We want you to be a better version of yourself and the only person that can do that is you."

"And that's why I've come to my decision."

"Just remember this is up to you. No matter what everyone will still love you the same."

"I kno-. . . I've decided. I'll go study aboard."

"Are you sure? Is this what you really want?"

"Yes I'm sure-" I hang up on the line and start tearing up

I starting sobbing all over again

it was painful. . .

Woojin comes out and crouches next to me 

"I told you you'll regret this decision. And that you'll be crying."

"I know, but it's something I need to do."

"You realized your a huge idiot right?"

"I know."