2PM has been gone for two weeks.  Junsu has not called, and I have not bothered to call him.  I can still hear his outburst in my head, smell the coffee he had been drinking, and see his face going from one of anger to one of pain.  It was this scene that once again wakes me up from my sleep.  I roll over and look at the clock, it is 6am.  *I guess I should get up and start my morning routine* I think to myself.

           The whole time I am running, I am thinking about the words Junsu mumbled: “I think you’d be better off with Nichkhun”.  I am not 100 percent sure where this came from; I know it isn’t simply about Nichkhun and the beach.  I have a feeling it has to do with issues we’ve faced due to our bi-racial relationship.

           I continue about my routine on autopilot as I keep thinking about those nagging words.  “That foolish gangster! How could he possibly think that?  ” I ragingly question the stuffed panda on my sofa (a gift from the Daegu fool).  Without realizing it I start to relax a little as the smell of coffee fills my apartment.  I am reminded of Junsu, and all those moments spent wrapped in his arms, the smell of his morning coffee wafting off him filling the space we shared.

           I grab my coffee, memories running through my mind, and leave out the door for a full day of work (or so I thought).  During the morning I am pouring over fashion designs and music video concepts trying to solidify six looks for each Miss A member.  During lunch break I find my mind wandering back to Junsu’s stupid comment about Nichkhun and me.

           “What about Nichkhun would make him better for me? Geez…that Daegu grandfather has left me with my head spinning” I converse with myself not realizing my co-worker is listening to me.

           “Boyfriend issues?” he questions me.

           “What? Oh! Well, yes” I incoherently speak as I slowly register that I have been thinking out loud.

           “Tell me about it” he commands *Oh, I love my diva co-worker, he always listens to me* I think as I start to tell him about the events of two weeks ago.

           “Ya know honey, Junsu’s always been insecure with himself.  He is just afraid to lose you to someone he probably sees as better than him” he spills his words of wisdom.  I know he’s right. I know Junsu’s father has always been playing up this insecurity in attempts to end our relationship.     

           “How come you are always right?” I question him.

           “A diva always knows honey” He replies with sass. “Now let’s get back to work”.

             At around one in the afternoon JYP calls and tells me to take the rest of the day off; “no excuses” he states.  Now this surprises me, but I am not about to argue.  I tell Siyoung that I have been ordered to take the rest of the day off, and he just sends me off.  He is giving me one of his all knowing smiles *what is it that he seems to know* I inwardly question.  It has been a long time since JYP had given me an early day, so I stop all my questioning quickly, and just take off.

           I head back to my apartment to change. *Woot! A whole afternoon to explore Seoul, and maybe get some shopping in, too bad Junsu isn’t here, he loves…* my thoughts tumble forward as I make my way home; thoughts of Junsu inevitably dominate.  I step into my apartment and question if I am finally going insane: the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the place.

           “I know coffee reminds me of Junsu, but now I smell it while thinking about him; this is getting ridiculous!” I speak towards my stuffed panda again.  I nearly jump out of my skin when it responds to me.

           “You were thinking about me?” a voice questions. I whip around to find Junsu at my kitchen table with two cups of coffee, and a look of mischief on his face.

           “How?” Eloquent as it may be, is the only word I can muster.

           “I didn’t like where we left things, so I came back for a short time” he admits, “I had to practically beg JYP to –“ He is cut off by the powerful hug I have now pulled him into, followed by a quick kiss on the lips before I pull away again.

           “Kim Junsu, how could you ever think you aren’t the best man for me?” I scold him with a hint of love and concern written upon my face.

           “Yeah, about that, I had been talking to my dad the day before,” Junsu starts, “and he was trying to convince me you’d be better off with someone you shared more culture with, then you were spending so much time with Nichkhun, and you are both from the states.  It just got me thinking…” his voice trailed off, but I know he isn’t finished yet, “…I guess I let his comment get to me huh?” He looks up at me only with his eyes, keeping his head down.

           I don’t answer right away, and his gaze becomes more questioning.

           “Oh, my, gawd” I say exasperatedly.