3 - Reality Or Imaginary

"Yuna, did I die?"

Yerin remembered seeing Yuna's face while she's surrounded by white walls around her. Her wife who had died appeared in front of her eyes, smiling down at her beautifully and she could feel the other's hand touched her cheek. Slowly Yuna her skin and although the loud cry of her family was hard to ignore, Yerin was driven to close her eyes at the gentle touch and she ended up unconscious once again.

The image of Yuna's face fading to white from her sight scared her when she closed her eyes back. She couldn't bear not seeing Yuna's face again because all this while she only wanted to be with her wife and was willing to lose everything else.

Don't go, Yerin murmured in her slumber as she could feel sweats dripping from her forehead. Yuna's face was slowly disappearing and her fear grew each seconds. Please don't go, she murmured again now louder as if begging for Yuna not to leave.

"DON'T GO, YUNA!" she shouted as she jolted up from being unconscious. There was nothing apparent in her sight but sweats were still profusely dripping from her forehead. She heavily took a breath before rubbing her face. So it was a dream...

However a few seconds later when she realized it, she was in her car right in the driving seat and not in her bed. Puzzled, she lowered her gazes and saw she was wearing her working attire, yellow collared shirt and black tight pants instead of the comfortable ones she wore at home. She was even more bewildered than she already was.

Then her phone rang, blasting Life Is A Party from the chorus and Yerin took her phone before looking at the caller's name. It was from one of her officemates. She slid the screen and picked up the call.

"Miss Yerin, are you coming in today or not?" The delicate voice of her officemate named Jiyeon broke into her hearing. "Huh?"

"I'm calling just to make sure. You're usually at the office by now but I don't see your face yet," she said again only making her more confused. They hung up the call before Yerin could even utter a word. She decided to just go to her office in assumption that she had a one last time task left in her office but she forgot about it. That's why Jiyeon had called.

Another strange thing that crawled in her head was she already parked her car inside her (former) company's premise. And she was at her usual parking box even, causing her head to be dizzier. Did she eat a lot of ants that she forgot about lots of things recently?

Nevertheless she came out of her car and then there was her briefcase and blazer with her as well as her handbag sling on her arm. She entered to where her department's office was located and she met Jiyeon on her way. The cute, petite girl with her aegyo-ish voice spoke up upon seeing her face. "Miss Yerin, the chief is looking for you," the girl told. Despite her short height and cute appearance, Jiyeon was actually older than Yerin but still loved to address her younger colleagues formally.

Yerin nodded at the shorter colleague of hers before making her way through to her chief department's working quarter. Arriving at his glass door, she knowingly knocked first before coming inside.

"Yerin, the deadline of the marketing project is not far ahead from now. Have you prepared well?" the chief asked. Yerin didn't understand what's going on. Why was she at her supposedly former office again? Was she given another chance that she didn't realize of and employed back? What marketing project was the chief talking about?

"Earth to Yerin, do you hear me?" the chief's voice drew her out from her thought. For some reason although it was hard for her to comprehend the confusing situation, Yerin had to be convincing like she was alright all along.

"Yeah the project is doing well. I'm sure it'll be finished before deadline," she answered confidently. Though she didn't know where that bold courage came from anyway.

After few more brief discussions between Yerin and her chief, she strolled back to her desk bewildered. She sat in her armrest and laid her back comfortably on the chair. She heaved another sigh before rubbing her eyes. Yerin then turned to the partition beside hers and called for Jiyeon's attention.

"Jiyeon unnie, how long have I been gone and come back here again?" she asked out of desperation for answers. She was in the dark and had yet to know the reason why was she suddenly employed again when she was sure she quitted because she had messed up their big project. The older girl however had a frown across her covered forehead. "You never left, Miss Yerin," Jiyeon replied still offered her smile. But then  suddenly turned into an "O" shape. "Oh, do you mean when you were on two weeks break because you went on a trip to Rome with your wife? But that's like two months ago," the last sentence Jiyeon was actually rather talking to herself than Yerin.

But wait- trip to Rome with her wife? Yuna? That was like a year ago!

In the end, Jiyeon left the younger wondered by herself and surrounded in deeper confusion. What is happening here? Yerin's mind was a mess and she ruffled the top of her hair in frustration.

Although the twist of event hadn't quite yet made Yerin fully understood, she got through the day at her workplace smoothly. The marketing project she and her chief were talking about was in a perfect work in progress. Yerin even worked on the project dilligently like the task was on the tip of her fingers all along.

She didn't even go out to have lunch with her colleagues but still ate some cookies and coffee from the pantry to save her stomach from hunger. It was later in the evening when she was greeted with more shocking event.

It was 60 minutes before her working hour ended, a rhythmic buzz from her phone caught her attention away from her computer. She turned her focus on the device's screen and saw there was an in call.

>>Wife Yuna <3 is calling>>

The hell??? Was it the heaven calling or someone else was using a trick on her? It was definite that she was the one who held Yuna's phone after her wife's death all along and would never allow anybody else get a grip on the device. Now who was messing with her?

With trembling hands and shaken heart, Yerin picked up the phone call and moved it close to her ear. "Hello?"

"Yerin!" 

It wasn't a joke. That's her wife's voice, her most beloved person, Choi Yuna. The girl called, and her voice called for Yerin's name. Was it a dream or her own illusion? It was too good to hear Yuna's voice again to be real.

"Y-Yuna?" Her voice was shaking as the name escaped from her quivering lips. "I-Is that really you?" There was a hint to burst out crying when Yerin asked that and tears already started welling in the back of her eyes. However, the other side seemed clueless about how she felt.

"I'm already home because I'm cooking dinner. It's chicken stew, so you better come home tonight!" Yuna's tone was sweet and Yerin could see her wife's smile, but she herself was choked on tears.

"Y-Yyuna..."

The call ended as Yerin was still dumbfounded. How in the world she could still hear Yuna's voice?

The person that she loved, missed, and dearly cherished inside her chest whom, she thought had died, had dialled her phone, talked to her sweetly, still cooked for her dinner and called her name like how she had always loved.

A few seconds later only had Yerin realized her cheeks were wet with her tears. Jiyeon came back and saw the state she was in. "Miss Yerin, why are you crying? Did something happenned to your wife?" the older girl asked worriedly and her forehead had turned into a frown.

Yerin could mutter nothing but felt her chest suffocated with unspoken words. Yes, something did happen to MY Yuna...She came back...She called me...I heard her voice...

Now that's left for me to confirm she's alive is seeing her face!

"I need to go home now!" she said in urgency tone, packed a few of her stuffs that thankfully weren't scattered messily on her desk, shut down her computer after ensuring she had saved all important documents, grabbed her bag and key then dashed out of the office. 

During her drive, Yerin was entirely restless and her tears were not stopping from flowing out of her eyes. Yuna, my love...Is that really you? Did I really hear your voice speaking to me? Are you really still alive?

It's very fortunate Yerin was always a careful driver albeit being in miserable state. She arrived home safely and ran straight inside to find her wife. The door wasn't locked!

"YUNA!!!" she shouted for her wife's name that echoed in the entire house that wasn't too big to begin with. She was anxious and desperate to see Yuna's face. She wanted absolute answer that the call she received hadn't been a lie after all.

All came break loose as soon as Yuna's face emerged from the kitchen that was separated by the wall between the area and lounge room. Panic showed across her face, spatula in her hand, hair tied neatly in ponytail, the bang (Yerin used to hate so much but she'll learn to appreciate because she missed her so much) was still covering her forehead. Yerin's beloved wife was legit there, in front of her eyes, wearing turqoise blouse and white short skirt, the very clothes that Yerin had bought for her birthday.

Choi Yuna, whom she thought was dead all this while, was real in front of her eyes.

"I told you I'm cooking dinner, not finished coo- hey!"

"YUNA-YAH!" Yerin cried and leaped to snug Yuna for her life, cried on her shoulder, hands tightly hugging on Yuna's back. She sobbed, hardly that gained so much confusion on Yuna's side. "I miss you so much," she wept harder, not loosening her hug at all but only tightened her embrace.

"Yuna..." she sounded distressed, anguish and pain probably overwhelmed her entire being but foremost, she was just too happy to have Yuna back in her arms like this that tears just fell uncontrollably. She buried her face in the crook of Yuna's neck and wailed. "Don't leave me alone, ever again," she begged, pleaded so terribly that something quickly tugged Yuna's chest  heavily.

Yuna didn't understand why Yerin suddenly acted like the way she did when she was sure they just saw each other in the morning, but she quickly embraced Yerin like her life also depended on the other. "I won't leave you alone."

It was the first time she ever saw Yerin broke down like this and to witness that first side of Yerin was surely heartbreaking for Yuna. She couldn't help but be concerned and worried about Yerin's sudden sentiment that talked about her leaving because the way that Yuna remembered it, they were fine just the morning before this.

***

It took an hour delay before Yuna could finish her cooking task. Yerin had bawled her eyes out that evening, forcing Yuna to stop caring about her unfinished cooking and tend to her upset wife. It wasn't easy to calm Yerin down but soon the girl fell into her slumber after Yuna had tucked her to bed.

Even when Yuna was done in the kitchen, Yerin hadn't woken up still that had her gone up to wake her wife up. The latter must be feeling drained after all the crying she had done, vulnerably and fragile that Yuna felt so upset. When she climbed on the bed with her back faced the ceiling, Yuna fixated her gaze on Yerin's peaceful sleeping face. Her eyes were swollen and nose was red, sometimes even sniffled in her sleep and it was obvious she had been crying even if Yuna didn't see it herself.

Slowly Yuna moved her hand to Yerin's cheek and the tips of her fingers ran though the pale skin of her wife's. "What are you so sad about that you cried so hard, sweetheart?" she mumbled albeit knowing Yerin wouldn't hear her.

A few minutes passed then Yuna started to make Yerin stirred from her slumber. She gently put her hand on her wife's upper arm and shook her body. "Honey, wake up. I make dinner and we have to eat!"

At the sound of Yuna's soothing voice had Yerin opened her eyes abruptly. She had dream in her sleep that once she opened her eyes Yuna was gone once again, no breathing and heartbeat. No moving pulse on her wrist. Basically Yuna's entire existence just disappeared in the blink of an eye. But that was the dream in her sleep.

"Yuna?" her hoarse voice somehow turned Yuna on (eted thought came to her mind for a while) but she had to take control of herself because she was worried Yerin would go burst out once again. "I'm here," she whispered in hope that could reassure Yerin she wouldn't go anywhere.

After some times to make Yerin get out of bed, the couple finally went down to the dining table to eat dinner. They ate in complete silence and it was the first for them since both usually were very chatty when there was just two of them alone. While it slowly killed Yuna because the silence was uncomfortably deafening, Yerin was enjoying the peace becaus she got so much leisure time to just stare at Yuna's pretty face, admiring her wife's beauty while she kept pondering if this was real.

Yuna glanced up and saw Yerin was still staring, deep, intensely, so passionately that Yuna's face turned red. Her lips twitched into a thin smile sheepishly as she ran her gaze away briefly before going up again searching for Yerin's face. "Yerin?"

The pair was into their 4th year of marriage and since the early stage Yerin had insisted for Yuna not to address her as unnie again. That made her felt old and truly sister-like relationship so Yuna came up with several weird nicknames like cupcake sweetie or dripping honey that had Eunbi and Sojung cringed. In the end Yerin had suggested to call themselve with just normal honey, darling, sweetheart or baby. 

"Hmm...?" Yerin did not respond anything else but kept her eyes on Yuna still. The latter was playing with the chopsticks in her grip on the bowl of her rice. She looked calm but inside her head was actually bothered with questions.

"Hmm Yennie, can I ask you something?" She didn't look up from her food when she asked that question so it got Yerin wondered if something was bothering her too much. "You can ask many things and I'll still answer all willingly for you."

Yuna loved that side of her wife. Loving warmly and always so caring so when she heard the answer came out from Yerin's mouth, it made her smile instantly.

"I'm just...why did you cry so much earlier?"

Yerin wasn't shaken when she heard what Yuna just inquired her. She knew somehow her wife must be bothered at her sudden outburst so she fully understood. Yerin just saw her dead wife was back alive and well, living comfortably without agony like she wasn't rising from the death. Who could blame her?

You died, that's what it was. You were gone, leaving me alone and helpless. I was suffocated and throbbed in pain of losing you. How could I tell you I was just so happy of emotion seeing you came back from your death?

Those sentences only played in her mind but she never dared saying it out loud.

"I was dreaming," she started, having Yuna surprised that Yerin would answer her question. "I dream I lost you in my sleep. I regretted everything so much, but when you called I was just too happy that the dream wasn't real."

The thing was, I was sure it wasn't a dream. Yuna was dead, she remembered it. It wasn't just a simple one day or one night of dreaming but she vividly felt how lost her wife one day, then they held a funeral, they buried her wife, people sending condolences left and right, the entire family was mourning, she lost her job, drowning herself in the scent of Yuna that no longer lingered in the empty and dull house and sleeping or lying in bed while imagining Yuna was still there in her arms like they always did.

It wasn't a dream of Yerin grieving of Yuna's death, because it was real that Yuna was dead.

However how could she say that when Yuna was breathing in front of her very eyes? "It was just so regrettable."

Yerin felt a soft and tender hand of her wife's held hers and interlocked their palms together. She glanced up and saw Yuna offered her a very warm smile. "I'm here, not going anywhere, certainly not leaving you. I love you so much for that."

The warm food quickly turned cold unattended as the couple left for each other. Yerin kissed Yuna's lips hungrily, devoured every inch of her wife, touched her with so much passion. They panted and whimpered but all they wanted was one another to care for that.

Even if this was just her imagination, Yerin was at least grateful because she was given the chance to feel how real it was to have Yuna back with her like this.

***Hi!! Not sure how this really turned out since I don't proofread, but I hope you get the message right. It's okay if you don't understand how it's going right now, because that's how I want you guys to feel hahaha /insert evil laugh/ #YeJu <3