A part of me

Leaves every night

In your search

To be with you

The other part eagerly waits for its half to return

With news of you

I wish this to be true

I pray all this to be real

But my senses betray my dreams

And deepens the wounds my heart

To wait for the next night to heal"

For the past six months this is how I start my day. God know when will ALL THIS END. Every morning is just the same, waking up with a feeling that someone had drained life out of me. YES, I was alive, breathing, existing with my flesh, bones and everything else in their actual position.............BUT LIFE, where was it? It felt like I was dragging a death body without the soul lost somewhere deep inside me, waiting for an awakening?????................................NO ANSWERS ABOUT MYSELF.

Those questions I asked, they needed answers from whom I DON'T KNOW.

For the first few days, I wasn't paying IT much attention. My busy work schedule, on going client projects, payment of bills and apartment rent within due dates, spending time with my sweethearts, sending a portion of my monthly income to my parent back in India (though they never ask for it....................I feel its my duty and I truly believe money cannot replace a person when it comes to taking care of your parents, being there for them in person) was enough to keep me occupied. The dream keeps coming back every night for 2 weeks now and had started being a part of me questioning my sanity...................WAS I OKAY?

I swear I had much in my hand then I can handle to worry about and didn't needed anything NEW.

BUT THIS WRETCHED DREAM......................................was scaring the living daylights out of me. I was losing my lucidity, trying hard to hold on to my happy memories, responsibilities and the valued friendship I had to pull me back, when I thought..............................HOW CAN I BE SO SELFISH................................they are my friends and I cannot cause them trouble. Both Soo Mi and Riddhi have their own problems and adding on to it made me feel like a criminal.

What was I to explain them about this weird dream?.................."Hello friends, you know what ever since the day I came back from the hospital after my little accident things have changed a lot. I dream every night about this strange place where I have never been nor do I know where it is.............this man haunting me with a odd name and curious gaze whom I haven't seen in my entire life and lastly before I could get a grip of what's going on I find myself tied up, under a frozen lake and drowning to death......????????"

No matter how much I needed to share this with them, I thought the best way would be to start finding answers on my own as this was my fight and I WILL FIGHT IT WITH COURAGE.

My first step was to visit the hospital where I was taken after the accident. The doctor who attended me showed me every reports and tests which he did on me to prove that I was completely normal. No Hallucinations, no severe internal injuries, no nothing was there that could be the reason for all this. He wanted to go through my previous medical records which luckily I carried to be sure whether what was happening with me have ever happened before or not. After some normal questions about my daily life and a few more regular checkups he came to a conclusion that my hectic professional life could be the reason behind all this and advised me reduce the burden a bit and have a more relaxed lifestyle.

BUT when your are paid in South Korean Won