1. ❀~Cute Bunny Multi-Shop~❀ - Score: 87/100

Review by Charlot1081

Grammar: 15/25
Your grammar is not as bad, but you have a major problem with commas.  You either use too many commas, making the sentence go on for a whole paragraph, or you don't use enough.  The way you don't use enough is for direct address and separating ideas.  The other thing is your capitilization.  Sometimes you don't do this with proper names or places, such as: people's names, the college name, and where people live/lived.

Flow: 24/25
The story only has a few chapters, so I can't say too much about it so far.  But the way it's going is neither too fast or too slow.  


All around Enjoyment: 48/50
I actually do like mystic things.  I rather watch it than read it, however.  It's really fascinating with what magic and imagination can do.  I did become confused with so many characters.  Though the character layout you made was really good.  It did get confusing with the name changes as well.  It was hard for me to keep track of who was who.  The pictures you provided for different emmotions was perfect.  It added a better touch than just thinking what the person would look like.  I really like how the pieces are fitting together somewhat in the story.  Her having the dreams and all.

Score: 87/100
Great score! 
The only thing I would be concerned about is the comma mistakes.  As well as the capitalization.