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AUTHOR'S NOTE: WHAT IS GOOD Y'ALL~THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 200 SUBS!!! Y'ALL THE BEST~

So my one-week holiday break is in session... And my goal is to finish this fic~ Yes, there's only about two or three chapters more until this fluffy story is over. Also, I decided to write a 2Jae chapter at the very end on how their love started. You can choose to stick around for it or not, doesn't really matter. I'm just glad that you precious people have been enjoying this story and that's already enough for me~ ^__^ 

The next few last chapters probably won't be as long as how I usually write my chapters, but I hope you all will enjoy it til the very end! 

Have fun and don't forget to leave feedbacks~ 

Love all of my beautiful readers a lot~ *throws paperhearts* 

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Everyone could tell.

The tension has proven to be ridiculously obvious between the two main stars of the camp, a certain redhead and his partner. The couple of the century, so to speak, or what people became familiar in calling them. If those two weren’t awkward before, which they were to some extent, they were definitely awkward now. Even if they weren’t next to each other like they’ve been since the start of this camp, even if they both retreated back to their respective circle of friends, even if they’re a couple of tables away, everyone could practically smell the damn tension in the air.

“So…” Yugyeom stretched his word, glancing back and forth between his eldest hyung and a couple of tables a head. The younger sighed, “What’s going this time?”

Jackson, who was sitting next to Yugyeom, gripped his hair and groaned in frustration. “What’s going on is that they kissed again, twice, and they’re still not ing yet!”

“Twice?!” Bambam gasped dramatically, a hand over his chest, achieving the overreacted look as much as possible.

“Yes, twice!” Jackson rolled his eyes, “Mark made the first move and then Jinyoung made the move! I’m telling you, both of them are idiots!”

“I can’t believe I’m up for this bull,” Youngjae sighed.

Mark grimaced at all of his friends’ reactions. He wondered are they even his friends. Shouldn’t they be comforting him instead of bullting him like this? Mark wasn’t sure. Maybe he befriended the wrong people.

“Well, at least they both confessed, I guess?” Jaebum finally opened his mouth to say something that does not contain the power to roast Mark in any way. Mark appreciated that.

“Are you defending Mark-hyung?” Youngjae quirked a brow, “This is rare. Usually, you’ll be the first one to throw him under the bus.”

“I just thought, we’re all too harsh on him. Come on, guys. There’s clearly progress! That’s all it matters,” the swim captain flashed a sympathetic smile at his redheaded friend. Mark returned the smile with a nod and lift of the corner of his lips.

Youngjae scoffed, “Did you hear that, Mark-hyung? You’ve gotten yourself a supporter, which is great, because everyone here disapproves you.”

Mark scratched his head, “Can you guys calm down for a bit? Why are you all-”

“Jaebum,” Jackson said, “If it’s progress, then Mark wouldn’t be spending the night in my tent again. Sure, they confessed, lowkey, and kissed, twice, but after all that, Jinyoung fled. So, explain to me what’s the ‘progress’ that you’re talking about, hmmm?”

“See? Jinyoung was the one who left, not Mark. So, it’s not Mark’s fault, right? Mark was just-”

“So you’re saying it’s Jinyoung-hyung’s fault? How is it his fault? Look at him!” Youngjae flailed his arm towards the object of his defense, “Imagine how Jinyoung-hyung must have felt! How embarrassed he had been ‘cause he acted so out of character-”

“Okay, I don’t need you to ing rub it in my face that you admire the out of Park Jinyoung, all right?” Jaebum frowned.

“Jaebum-”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Youngjae.”

And that was that. Youngjae took the cue and shut his mouth out of annoyance as he crossed his arms against his chest and turned away from his boyfriend. Jaebum did the same. They both were beyond the definition of stubbornness. But they worked, so whatever.

Mark looked at the couple and sighed, “I’m sorry, guys.”

“Don’t be, hyung,” Yugyeom shrugged, “It’s really wasn’t your fault nor was it Jinyoung-hyung’s. You two just need to talk everything out. I mean, it’s already Friday, hyung. We’re leaving camp on Sunday. There isn’t much time left if you two going to keep procrastinating on each other’s feelings like this.” The youngest pursed his lips and casted his eyes down, “That’s what I think.”

Yugyeom normally doesn’t give serious advices, or take anything seriously for that matter because being best friends with Bambam had morphed him, but when he does, the advices he gave always sound so heartwarming. Just the thing Mark needed after all these fireballs being thrown at him. “Thank you, Yug.” The redhead reached over and ruffled the younger’s hair affectionately.

“I agree with Yugie, but Mark-hyung, really, I expect you two to be sleeping with each other again. No more camping at Jackson-hyung’s! Eric-hyung is scary to deal with when he’s angry,” Bambam wiggled his index finger in front of his face with a stern look.

Mark nodded, a sigh quietly left his lips. “It can’t be anymore worse than this.”

“I honestly don’t see how is it this bad when you get to kiss the person you legit got the biggest crush on?” Jackson exhaled heavily, probably sick of all the bull, “Why are you like this?!”

“You got it all wrong! I feel great! It’s just I don’t think I’m the one for him…” Mark ruffled his red hair in frustration and something far too familiar crept up his skin to threaten him again. Like every other time.

Jaebum shook his head, “You need to stop that.”

“I know, but I can’t! Jinyoung is just too perfect! He deserves-”

“YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE WHAT I DESERVES!” The sudden shout surprised everyone at the table and others around, who quickly went back to nosing their foods as soon as the swim team captain send daggers their ways. Mark slowly turned around and looked up, eyes locking directly with what seemed to be a very angry Jinyoung. Balling his fists and mustering his scariest gaze, Jinyoung said, “It isn’t fair. I thought we’ve already talked about this. Didn’t I tell you how much you’re hurting and confusing me right now? Didn’t I tell to stop it? Why are you still like this?! I waited for you the whole day, but you… You never showed up after we…” He paused, staring down at his feet as his cheeks turned red. “After that…”

The others saw the way Mark’s face lit up in crimson and eyes shone brightly. They shared a look and nodded, decided to give their two friends some space. Just as they were standing up, Jinyoung lifted his head and sighed, “You know what, I’m done with this. I… I can’t… Mark, you’ve made me hope for so much. I don’t know what you did, but now, everything’s changing and I’m not used to it. Please-”

Jinyoung didn’t get to finish when Coach Jung’s voice suddenly cuts in through his favorite megaphone, “Gather around kids! We’re about to start our next mission! You all got a day off yesterday, so now hurry your butts and get over here!”

Sighing, Jinyoung gave a shook of his head and walked towards the main area. Mark immediately sprung to his feet to catch up with his partner. The redhead grabbed his partner’s wrist and spun the boy around, “Jinyoung, wait.”

“What?” Jinyoung glared, angry but somewhere deep within him, he was glad Mark had stopped him.

“Jinyoung, I-I-I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean for it to be this way-”

“If you’re sorry, then act like it. Or I won’t take your lame apology as a damn excuse!” With that, Jinyoung pulled his hand away from Mark’s grasp and continued moving forward in quick steps. “Why do I even care about you?”

Mark couldn’t say anything. He doesn’t know why. But nothing came out of his mouth despite wanting to scream. His shoulders felt heavy as those words weighted them down. Mark ed up. He knows. It’s eating his guts. And he hates it. Hates how he’s always manages to things up. Doesn’t matter what. Mark always s it up in the end. Even though there’s no reason for him to be feeling like he can’t conquer the world, Mark does. He’s popular and whatnot, but popularity and reputation couldn't cure this.

This nasty feeling of insecurity and self-loathing he kept in his heart.

It’s a constant feeling and just doesn't stops.

No one understands that.

No one understands how hard it is for Mark.

Mark stopped walking as he watched Jinyoung’s back. He wished he could reach out. But he didn’t. He’ll s up either way.

Jinyoung stopped walking, hesitating for a couple of seconds before turning around to face his redheaded partner. Couple more of seconds of hesitation hung itself in the breezy air. Jinyoung exhaled, mustering his last efforts and courage. His eyes kept steady with Mark’s as he walked back. Now they’re stood face-to-face. Jinyoung bit his lip and looked down at the brown, hard dirt underneath their shoes. More seconds drove by. Jinyoung looked up and caught gaze with Mark.

“I don’t know why you’re like this,” Jinyoung started, voice calm and soothing, sounding like honey and blissful tunes to Mark’s ears, “But I just wanted you to know that… Well, remember when you told me that if I’ve ever felt my heart flutters, I’ll accept you?” Mark nodded, Jinyoung continued, “I just wanted you know that there isn’t a day where my heart would beat normally, because on an average, for eighteen-year-olds and older, a normal heart rate is between sixty to a hundred beats per minute, and that, of course, give or take the person’s physical conditions, but what I’m trying to say is that… Is that… A-around you, I d-don’t, my heart doesn’t b-beats like a normal resting heart rate. It’s al-always fas-faster and more de-demanding for oxygen intake, which sometimes could be proven to be very difficult for m-me, be-because I-I l-like you. I like you, Mark. Oh, my God, I like you.”

Jinyoung’s breath stuck, his chest rising slowly. He’s breathing through his mouth. His eyes sparkled and glistened under the beautiful sunlight. He’s freaking out but all for a quite reasonable cause. He’s overwhelmed by this new discovery of this new emotion that’s sweeping over him, drowning him and straggling him with its persistence. Jinyoung didn’t even know he was capable of feeling like this. “I… I like you, Mark. I like you, a lot, actually. I didn’t want to admit it, but my heart fluttered since the day you confessed. You make me feel so, so, so good about myself, did you know that? I-I can’t ex-explain it, but I’m feeling a lot and doing a lot of new things because of you. And I just want you to know that you matter to me. You matter to me so much, Mark Tuan. For the last two nights you haven’t come back, I’ve struggled a lot, you know? I realized you’re more important to me than I’ve thought. I’ve realized I need you more than I’ve thought. I realized I like you more than I’ve thought.” A silence interrupted through the tension dancing above their heads. They just stared at each other, soaking in each other’s faces, imprinting it, engraving it in their brains so it’ll never fades away. Jinyoung smiled softly, “So, Mark, I just confessed, and I’m not asking anything out of it. I just wanted you to know.”

Jinyoung breathed, nodded his head a little, and pursed his lips. There was nothing else to say. What’s been said, he’d said them all. Jinyoung his heels and left Mark standing there by himself.

His part was done.

Everything’s on Mark now.

%%%

Leaning back against the tree, Mark closed his eyes, tired of watching the sky gradually turning into a deep, dark blue. He rested his hands by his sides. Mark sighed, already feeling the night chill creeping under his skin. Today’s been a rough day. Very rough.

After that massive confession Jinyoung gave, they went back to receiving their mission. Mark honestly wanted to talk about it more, but Jinyoung acted like he had just not rant on and on about how much he likes Mark. They just went on like usual. As if nothing game-changing had happened between them. Which then grew a big irritation on Mark, because he just can’t stand not talking about them. But Jinyoung was stubborn, a lot more stubborn than the redhead had expected. Not only did Jinyoung successfully avoid any questions related to that confession, he also managed to act as if he’d never felt for Mark before, like, completely cold. Mark was wondering for a bit if Jaebum had dug out his frozen heart and gave it to Jinyoung as an heirloom.

But Mark thought he deserved it. Of course he did! He hurt the only person he would give up everything for. He hurt Jinyoung.

So, really, Jinyoung ignoring and being cold to him wasn’t even that much of a deal. Mark deserved every second of that.

Mark sighed, opening his eyes again and stared up at the darken sky filled with little, shiny stars. “I’m an idiot.” It’s too late to realize that now, isn’t it? Mark shook his head. This wasn’t how things were supposed to turn out. Mark likes Jinyoung. And Jinyoung likes him back. So, shouldn’t they be happily cuddling with each other right now? Why aren’t they? Right, because there’s Mark with his stupid insecurities and unnecessary dramas.

Running his hands through his hair in frustration, Mark hates himself even more. Nothing was being fixed. And he’s feeling like absolute . But what is he doing now? He’s just sitting here and giving himself more reasons to tip that self-loathing scale.

Time was running out and Mark was still hesitating.

Why?

He knew why.

Mark got up on his feet, polishing his determination with the calls of the night winds. He headed towards the tent that he shared with the love of his life. He stopped just in front of it and took a deep breath. After encouraging himself, Mark entered the tent.

Jinyoung held a book in his hand as his eyes focused on the words printed on the page. Jinyoung didn’t look up. Mark settled down next to Jinyoung, crisscrossing his legs and shifting around to find a comfortable position, because it looked like he’ll be sitting like this for a while. “Jinyoung,” Mark called, voice barely above a soft whisper.

“Finally,” Jinyoung sighed, still fixated on his reading, “Thought you’ll crash by Jackson’s again.”

Mark rubbed his neck awkwardly, “Well, I’m here now.”

“You are,” Jinyoung just said with a curt nod following his detached reply.

“Can we talk?”

“I don’t know. Can we?”

“I want to. Jinyoung-ah, I want to talk.”

Jinyoung closed his book after slipping a leaf between the pages he was reading. He put the book down and looked over at Mark. “I’m all ears,” Jinyoung said nonchalantly with much reluctance in his dull eyes.

He’s really mad, Mark thought, biting down on his lip. The whole atmosphere felt weird. It felt like Mark was caught cheating by his husband, and now he’s home, trying to explain himself. Damn, they’re already domestic?

Mark cleared his throat, “Before I even say anything, I would like to apologize.” The redhead stared down at his fingers, “I’m sorry, Jinyoung-ah. I’m so sorry.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms against his chest and held his head high, “Okay, apology accepted. Just because you’re you and I like you.” The color of his cheeks deepen into a pretty red as soon as he realized his boldness, but nonetheless, his head still held its position. He wasn’t going to back down ever again.

Ignoring the obvious blood rush to his face, Mark laced his fingers together and kept his head hung low. He’d never told this to anyone before. Not even his best friend. But Mark hurt Jinyoung enough. With a deep breath, Mark began, “So, um, I was born in the States, uh, L.A. to be exact. My parents went through divorce when I was ten, and that’s when my mom and I moved to here, uh, Korea, because of Mom’s job. My mom met someone after, like, two months of settling in this foreign country. I guess they fell in love, you know, found that something in each other. My stepfather moved in with us when I turned twelve. But he didn’t came alone. He brought along his two sons. One was three years older than me and the other was five years older. Um, well, let’s just say the three of us didn’t really clicked. His sons sort of have this hate towards my mom even though she’s, like, super nice to them, probably even nicer to them than she was to me…” Mark sighed, letting himself to pause for a bit. He collected himself and moved on. “A-anyways, um, so my stepbrothers, you know, they’re biological brothers to each other, so they hang out with each other. They get along with each other. It’s not like I wanted to be a part of it, but sometimes, it does gets lonely for a twelve-year-old I guess. I tried to be friendly, in a way, but they rejected me. Not only that, but they always teamed up to pick on me, get me into trouble, or blaming me for their troubles. It’s rough. Yeah, it was rough, but you know, I was little and didn’t mind. Just thought that if I did all of that, if I cover for my stepbrothers, then maybe they’ll play with me. But turns out, they were just ing with me. That’s not the worse part, though…” He paused again, feeling that itching feeling clawing at his throat.

Jinyoung reached out and held Mark’s hands, “Hey, I’m here.” Jinyoung knows how hard it is for Mark to be telling him this, but just for a moment, he wants to be selfish. He wants to know about Mark. He wants to know what nobody else knows. He wants to be the one comforting Mark. The only one.

Exhaling softly, Mark nodded, appreciating Jinyoung’s kind gesture. “Mom loves my stepbrothers. I can see why I guess. They were smart, really smart. They play sports, too, and were really good at it. They’re mature, capable, and talented. In her eyes, they were perfect. They were everything she wanted in a child that her own son couldn’t quite give to her. Yeah, my mom used to tell me how I’m so like my father. How both of us are dumb and useless, good-for-nothing pieces of ,” Mark chuckled bitterly, “No mother would say that to her own child, right? But mine did. And she emphasized those words. She embarrassed me with them, yelling at me, calling me useless, right in front of my stepfather and his sons. I was fourteen. Of course, my stepbrothers were thrilled. I could see it in their nasty faces. They were holding back their laughs and mocks. I just couldn’t take it. And that’s when I started coming home less and hanging out over at Jackson’s more than I could have counted. At least his family welcomes me and loves me like I was a part of them. I stayed out so much that one day, I came home to find my mom sitting on the couch with an angry expression on her face. She screamed at me. I stood there and let her lashed out. Then, she cried. As much as I hated her for neglecting me, I couldn’t bare to watch her cry. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I was the reason behind her tears. So, I hugged her. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her, apologizing over and over again for being such a horrible son. Honestly, I didn’t want to apologize, because it wasn’t my fault. None of it was. But she was crying and that was all she wanted to hear. She just wanted to hear that I took the blame for it. So I did. I told her what she wanted to hear.”

A moment with no words traveling through the space as Jinyoung softly squeezes Mark’s hands, massaging them between his cold ones. Jinyoung’s heart clenched at each word that came out of the redhead’s mouth. He understands now.

Mark sniffed and cleared his throat. “After that whole crying mess, she went to bed. And it was never brought up again. I guess it was enough for her that I took the blame. That’s okay. My mom’s a fragile woman. It’s been hard for her, and she deserves better. I can’t give her that. I accepted the fact that I can’t. But what makes me mad was that she devoted her time and efforts on my stepbrothers, but they’re cold to her, ungrateful to her. When I turned sixteen, I confronted to them about it, but all they did was laughed in my face and said that it’s my mom’s problem that she’s obsessed with them. That made me angry. So ing angry that I fought the two of them. It ended horribly on my part, but at least I landed a couple of punches on their faces. It was awesome. I've always wanted to do that for the longest time. Of course, my mom was upset with me, and of course, she took their sides, but whatever, I didn’t care. In the family, I was the problematic child anyways. She kicked me of the house. I just shrugged and camped over at Jackson’s. I was going to leave either way. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I was over at Jacks’s for a week before my stepdad came over and begged me to come back. See, my stepbrothers were bastards, but my stepdad was a nice man. He’s the one that went to check up on me whenever I’m home. He’s the one that offered to talk to me. I know he’s trying a lot to be closer to me. But I didn’t let him.”

“Why?” Jinyoung asked, speaking up to satisfy his confusion for the first time, “If he’s nice to you, then why didn’t you…”

“Because I don’t deserves nice things, Jinyoung-ah.”

The urge to slap Mark across the face was great. Jinyoung hates it. He hates how broken Mark looks. For someone to say they don’t deserve nice things, that’s a lot of that’s been going on. Jinyoung couldn’t believe it. Mark’s mother had conditioned him to think he’s exactly what she saw him to be. Useless. Worthless. It breaks Jinyoung’s heart, twisting his internal organs painfully as he tried to pick up the pieces of Mark’s broken heart. Broken from the woman that Mark had loved dearly.

Jinyoung cried.

He cried because it was so painful.

He cried because it was stabbing him, killing him slowly.

He cried because it was so unfair, so vulgar, so cruel.

He cried because he loves Mark.

Tears won’t stop pouring from his eyes. He didn’t know what to do but to pull Mark into his embrace, hugging the redhead and offering warmth of pure affection and care. He wants to make Mark feels it. He wants to make Mark feels how much he cares for him. How much he appreciates him. How much he sincerely felt for him. How much he loves him.

“D-don’t say tha-that,” Jinyoung said through his tears, wrapping his arms tighter around the redhead, “You deserves everything, Mark. You don’t know it, but you deserves everything on this world. Doesn’t matter what others say. Doesn’t matter what your mom said. Doesn’t matter what your stepbrothers said. It all doesn’t matter! Listen to me. You’re not useless. You’re strong and capable and smart in your own ways. You’re perfect just the way you are, Mark. Don’t look down on yourself.” Jinyoung pulled them apart, his hands cupping Mark’s red cheeks and thumbs them softly. He smiled even though streams of tears stained his cheeks and dripping from his jaw, “You think you don’t deserve me, but you do. You deserve me more than anyone else. And I only want you. I only need you. I love you, Mark. Be with me, please?”

Mark didn’t know when did he start crying, too. Maybe when Jinyoung had started crying for him. No one has ever cried for him before. But seeing those beautiful tears Jinyoung was shedding because of him, for him, Mark breaks. He couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He’s been strong for too long. And now, it’s okay to let go. Because Jinyoung is there for him.

“I love you, Jinyoung,” Mark cried, reaching out to pull the warmth of his heart back into his arms, “Thank you… Thank you so much.” He buried his face into that messy mop of raven hair he loves so much. His lips won’t stop muttering sweet little “thank you’s” and placing soft kisses on the top of Jinyoung’s head. “I’m always with you, Jinyoung-ah. Now and forever.”