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Author's Note: HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARYYYY AYYEEEEEEE !!! Like I promised (although it's updated an hour after the 22nd), HERE'S THE EPILOGUE~ I want to THANK YOU everyone who's been supporting and loving and enjoying the out of this fic~ This fic is one of the two fic (the other is I'll Be Your Light akjhlakrshg go check it out if ya interested~) that I've written so far that's been the most realistic to me, especially characters-wise. I'm really happy to know so many people love the fic. Honestly, I didn't think I'll be THIS attached, but here I am! 

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this epilogue~ 

And I decided to make ANOTHER EPILOGUE AYYEEEEE :D I felt the need to cover some grounds that leaning towards the emotional sides of the fic regarding Mark's family situation and other things... I'm sorry if I'm annoying haha but y'all gettin' ANOTHER EPILOGUE AFTER THREE MONTHS. So, basically, tune in DECEMBER 22 for EPILOGUE 2.0~ (I know it should be the 23rd but really tho I mean I'm only an hour late with this one sooo)

I'll let y'all lovelies get back to enjoying the out of this epilogue~ AGAIN, THANK YOU SO ING MUCH~ 

ENJOY AND LEAVE FEEDBACKS~

SEE Y'ALL IN THREE MONTHS~ UNTIL THEN STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY~

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“Aaaaall riiiighty,” slamming the file close, the doctor smiled at his patient. “You’re all good, Youngjae.”

 

The soccer player titled his head, squinting his eyes suspiciously, “Oh really? The look in your pretty eyes is misleading, Doctor Tuan.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the doctor maintained his cheerful smile on his older, heavenly handsome face.

 

“Hmmm. Sure. But on the side note, you’re ridiculous, Mark. How does someone become even hotter the more age they put on? I mean, I do really miss your fiery red hair and your high-school-basketball-captain hotness, but, like, damn.”

 

“Well, Youngjae, studies show-”

 

Groaning, Youngjae rolled his eyes, “No, God, please, no. Please, don’t get all statistics on me. There’s a reason why I dropped out of college.”

 

Mark patted his friend’s head, “But it’s all for the better, right? I mean, you’re one of South Korea’s best soccer player. You’re, like, extremely famous at such a young age. You’re barely in your mid-twenties, yet you’ve already made enough to pay off my entire student loans and a lot more.”

 

“Speaking of which, I can pay for you, you know, Mark-hyung. It’s whatever really.”

 

“That won’t be necessary. I still want to test my limits.”

 

Youngjae sighed, “Yeah, well, I don’t really need to worry about you being in debts your whole life. You’re so successful as a sports physician like you’ve always dreamed. And you’re currently my doctor, the famous Choi Youngjae. You’ll pay it off in no time. Besides… There’s also Jin-”

 

“Right, and you’re the fiancé of one of the founder of JJP Entertainment,” Mark smiled, throwing his gloves into the trash bin.

 

“Jaebum…”

 

“You two could have been married already if it weren’t for your dumb- breaking your leg on that ing field.”

 

“Hey, it’s not my fault! It’s the World Cup for God’s sake. My team needs me,” Youngjae held his arms up in defense.

 

“And Jaebum needs you,” Mark pursed his lips, holding back other sensitive things he could have allowed to slip passed.

 

The slide of the door turned both of the doctor’s and his patient’s heads. Speaking of the Devil, the Devil’s here. “Damn right I do.”

 

Youngjae raised an eyebrow, “Um, babe, what are you doing here?”

 

A groan left Jaebum’s mouth, as he threw his duffle bag on the sofa next to the door, rubbing his hands over his drained face. His eye bags were hanging low and raven hair tousled like a bird’s nest. “Okay, I can’t do this anymore, all right? I’m so ing stressed out. Not only did I had to deal with pushing back the wedding dates and plans and all that s, I had to run all over Seoul to attend stupid conferences just because some irresponsible idols – names will not be mentioned, no, I lied, names will be mention, and you don’t even have to guess because it’s Minki and Heechul, oh my ing God – in the company got caught up in some ridiculous e scandals, and to top all of this bull, at the end of the day, I go home to a ing empty bed, like where the is my fiancé?! I thought we promised to never leave each other? This is bull! I’m not dealing with this anymore! I’m sleeping here until you ing come home with me, Choi Youngjae!”

 

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Mark cleared his throat awkwardly, obviously taken back at his best friend’s outburst. “Make yourself comfortable.”

 

“Yeah, Jaebum,” Youngjae gulped, lowkey scared because his fiancé legit looked like he could strangle a cat. And Jaebum loves cats. “Ma-make yourself comfortable…”

 

Staring at those two for a couple of seconds, Jaebum finally sighed and nodded, immediately sliding into bed next to the person he calls 'home' and possessively wrapped his arms around him. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ll… I’ll do that… , I miss you so ing much, Jae.”

 

Youngjae gently ran a hand through Jaebum’s hair and mumbled under his breath, “I was literally only been gone for two weeks… Goodness…”

 

Soon, the tired CEO fell asleep, something he hasn’t been able to during the last two weeks, under his lover’s soft touches. Youngjae sighed, turning his head to look at Mark, who offered a kind smile. “I’m sorry if he was disturbing the quietness. I know it’s late, but you know how Jaebum is, especially after he co-found the company and built it up from scratch. He’s been very sensitive since then.”

 

“Like a baby,” Mark teased quietly, earning a little chuckle from Youngjae as the younger answered a little “exactly like that” while shaking his head, eyes never leaving the sleeping “baby” cuddling against him. Mark looked at the couple with a grin. “I can’t believe you two still surprise me after all these years.”

 

Youngjae looked up, a little confused. “What do you mean, hyung?”

 

“Nothing much,” the older shrugged, “It’s just amazing how even after going public about your relationship, you both are still able to love so much. Probably even more now.”

 

“Well, talking about that… I do know someone who’s been dying to go public, but his significant other kept on holding it off,” the soccer player stared accusingly at his doctor.

 

Mark rolled his eyes, “Come on, I’m thinking about him, Youngjae. Going public won’t affect me, but it’ll affect him.”

 

Youngjae scoffed, for the first time today, “Jinyoung-hyung doesn’t give a . You know that, hyung. So why-”

 

“Oh, Youngjae, I do need you to go to, like, three or four more therapy sessions with me, but after that, you’ll be all good to finally go home, all right?” Mark cut in quite purposely.

 

Sensing the rude interruption that Mark didn’t want to talk about it anymore, Youngjae just smiled and nodded, “Got it, Doc.”

 

“Then, I’ll leave you now. Good night.”

 

“Good night, hyung.”

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

Returning back to his office, Mark already felt his shoulders weighing tons of bricks. Today’s been especially tiring. He turned his head towards the little digital clock sitting on top of his desk. A sign left his lips. It’s already midnight. Seemed like he’s not going home tonight. Mark yawned, reaching into his bag of spared clothes, and pulled out a black button-up and pants before heading out to the halls. Might as well use the hospital’s shower rooms to rid from the filth of running around the whole day.

 

After a quite satisfying hot shower, the refreshed doctor made his way back to his office, and of course, stopped by the front desk to chat a little with the nurses about some stupid things. By the time Mark entered his office again, it was already one in the morning. He should sleep. But the shower’s steams were still fresh. So he walked out again, this time, to the cafeteria, and grabbed a hot cup of coffee. Again, along the way back, Mark was stopped by a few of his colleagues, praising him for his work with Choi Youngjae. Mark just smiled and thanked them, humbly accepting the acknowledgement he very well deserves. It was a little past one thirty when Mark made it back with his half-finished cup of bitter coffee.

 

Massaging his neck for a bit, Mark plopped down on the couch of his office and switched on the TV. The first thing that popped up was his best friend’s enthusiastic face, MC-ing for a popular game show that Mark, he shamefully admitted, didn’t have enough time to catch up on. Nonetheless, he still supports Jackson in whatever that idiot does. Although Mark missed watching Jackson’s shows, but he’d never missed going to a single fencing competition or game. No matter how busy, Mark would always tried to make it to the game to cheer on his best friend, be it in Korea or somewhere on the other side of the world. He’s proud of Jackson, and he’s going to show it. Jackson has been working and practicing his off to be at where he is today, a representative for the Hong Kong Olympics Fencing Team. Not only Jackson managed to make it into the team, but also as a side career, he entered the entertainment world. And obviously, his agency is none other than the international branch of JJP Entertainment. Jaebum doesn’t cut Jackson any slacks, though.

 

“For today’s special guests,” Jackson flashed the camera a smile as Mark turned the volume up a bit. “They are my little brothers back in high school. We’re still brothers now! But they’re also people that are known globally. Introducing-”

 

Mark quirked his eyebrow, didn’t expect to see all three of them in one screen. He realized how much he misses the youngers. It’s been a while since he had talked to any of them. Life gets in the way.

 

“-designer of the top fashion brand in the world, Kunpimook Bhuwakul, and the rising star of the K-pop industry, Kim Yugyeom!”

 

The audience on set went wild, screaming and squealing while holing up banners, posters, of their idols. Mark might be seeing thing, but some of the girls were in tears. The guests introduced themselves and Mark couldn’t be more proud. And it’s great to see those three problematic idiots together. Everyone’s been busy after college, so hangouts slowly became a nonexistent thing. Pretty sad, but that’s how it was. The ones Mark’s probably still keep in touch with are, of course, Jackson, Jaebum, and Youngjae. Though, Jackson did give him Bambam’s and Yugyeom’s numbers. It’s just Mark hadn’t gotten the time to call yet.

 

Despite being so late in the middle of the night, or early morning, the game show was very entertaining. With those three’s great sense of humor, Mark really thought they brought so much colors to the show. By the end of it all, Yugyeom took home the grand prize of three gold bars and a set of Hanwoo beef. Bambam threw a little tantrum but didn’t mean any harm. Typical Bambam.

 

“Thank you the guests here tonight!” Jackson clapped his hands together, a smile etched on his undeniably tired face, “You guys did an awesome job! And it’s so nice to see you kiddos again!”

 

“It’s nice to see you, too, hyung~” Bambam squirmed his body a little and latched onto Jackson’s arm, attempting a little aegyo.

 

Yugyeom laughed and blow air kisses to the audience, making the fans lose their breaths. “You’ve been working hard! Please, take care of our Jackson-hyung~”

 

In unison, a “yes” resonated around the set, causing the staff members and casts to laugh at the cuteness. Mark chuckled a little, feeling the nostalgia knocking him up. The show then ended with Yugyeom’s new music video, leaving Mark with a smile, as he took the last sip of his coffee. Making a mental note to gather the high school group of friends later, Mark picked up the remote and switched the channel.

 

It’s late and there’s probably nothing except some re-runs of some cheesy drama. But Mark passed that point of sleepiness, now he’s more awake than ever. He’ll put up with some random dramas if that means it’ll kill some time before his work begins again.

 

He stopped switching the channels as soon as a very familiar face appeared on the screen. Mark watched. On the screen, the male lead cradled his female lead’s cheeks gently in his palms. Mark sighed. The male lead leaned in and connected their lips together quite passionately. Mark could look away, but he missed him too much to do that. It’s been a while. So he just sat there, staring at the screen, as the actors made out.

 

Mark scoffed, finally turning away, a little bit bitter. He knows not to be unnecessary, because jobs are jobs. It’s professional. But sometimes, Mark just wanted to roll his eyes. “I taught him how to be a good kisser, so he could go and kiss someone else in front of a camera.”

 

Sighing, Mark felt a little tired suddenly, but thank God the kissing scene was over. The drama progressed on. Mark decided to watch, because he’s been missing a lot of episodes recently. Again, life gets in the way. However, Mark read the novel, so he basically knew what was going to happen, if the drama adaptation was staying true to it. So far, it was. Well, it had to. The author of the novel is the male lead.

 

“Jiyoung-ah,” the male lead said, voice rang deep and softly in Mark’s ears, “I want you believe in yourself. I want you to believe that I love you.”

 

The drama reached a point of conflict, tearing the main characters apart.

 

“How?” Tears streamed down the female lead’s face beautifully, “You can’t be the one telling me that when you don’t even have confidence in yourself… Or in us… How am I supposed to believe in myself when you’re not doing the same? Tell me, Minkyung-ah! Tell me! What am I supposed to do?!”

 

Mark read the novel. He shouldn’t be surprised, though he couldn’t help but… “Wow, you’re just going to indirectly roast me like this? Petty.”

 

Nonetheless, Mark continued watching seriously, monitoring every scene like a critic, mentally picking out extra things that were added and missing things that weren’t added. By the end of the episode, Mark sighed. Of course, the novel has always been better. But the flow of the drama and casts did an amazing job. The acting felt so raw. The emotions carried through each line that was delivered perfectly.

 

Nodding and acknowledging this piece of art, Mark threw his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. His heart hurts. He misses him so much.

 

Seemed like Heavens answered Mark’s plead.

 

“How did I do?”

 

Mark’s eyes snapped open. He sat up almost immediately and whipped his head towards the door of his office.

 

He was leaning against the frame of the door with a smile.

 

Mark couldn’t see the smile played on his lips through that black facemask.

 

But Mark could clearly see the sparkles in his eyes.

 

“You…” Mark broke into a smile and scoffed softly in an endearing manner, “What are you doing here?”

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung knew what to expect when he finally made it back home. He knew he’d come home to an empty house with all the lights off. He knew, of course, Mark would be at the hospital struggling on a night shift. So Jinyoung just sighed, entering the empty house they shared in the uttermost privacy. Jinyoung’s career didn’t allow any publicity. And that’s the only thing he hated about his job, but there’s also the overly obsessed fans, though everyone in his field hates those kind of “fans” altogether. As much as Jinyoung wants to love openly and comfortably, it doesn’t work like that. Not in this field of career anyways.

 

Of course, Mark would think differently and more logically, clearly leaning towards the public’s side.

 

Shedding out of his white button-up and black slacks, Jinyoung changed into a dark outfit, covering himself up completely. He grabbed his black cap and mask off the nightstand and headed down to the kitchen. Jinyoung chugged down a cold water bottle, clearing his head and waking himself up from the tiring three weeks he had over in Japan for a book-signing event. Right, because signing a whole bunch of books took three weeks. Jinyoung wanted to roll his eyes at his manager’s nature of accepting all kinds of schedule without notifying him first. A little ironic, given that Jinyoung was a co-founder of JJP, yet there were a lot of decisions that were made behind his back.

 

Before sliding into his car, Jinyoung pulled his cap over his head securely and put on his mask. This type of disguise just made him look even more suspicious, but Mark wouldn’t want Jinyoung going around the hospital all exposed.

 

Mark.

 

It’s always Mark.

 

A sigh left Jinyoung’s mouth as he backed his car out of the driveway.

 

Of all the years they’ve been together, from when they were just two idiotic high school Seniors until, now, in their late-twenties, Jinyoung would have never guessed how much Mark would change. Not in a bad way, though. Never in a bad way. He knew how hard Mark has been working to get to where he is today. Mark deserves every second of glory of that dream he’s always dreamt of. And Jinyoung is very proud. All those dedicated hours and weeks and months and years of Jinyoung constantly assisting Mark in his studies had finally paid off. Jinyoung cried so hard at Mark’s graduation that he passed out from exhaustion and woke up about two days later.

 

Mark didn’t blame Jinyoung for being overwhelmed, though. Med school was a torture. But they made it. And they couldn’t be happier. All it matters was that they went through it together. Jinyoung was thankful. But Mark was the most thankful, because Jinyoung spent every penny of his profits from his not-quite-popular-but-still-sell-a-little-above-average novels into Mark’s intuitions and studious needs. Jinyoung refused to let Mark took up any part-time or full-time jobs. He wanted Mark to only focus on studying, and everything financial, he’ll take care. It was hard on him, of course, because med school was so overly expensive, and Mark obviously couldn’t get any scholarships, so Jinyoung ended up dropping out of college, abandoning his plan of getting a Master’s in Literature, to dedicate more time in writing and perfecting his skills as a writer, in order to support his boyfriend. Jinyoung sacrificed so much for Mark. But he’d never once regretted it, because he believes in Mark. In the end, his hardest efforts, along with Mark’s, was all worth it.

 

Around the time Mark started working for one of the well-known hospital for athletes, Jinyoung’s latest novel became a huge hit internationally. Everything was all so unexpected. Everything. Jinyoung started to earn, probably, five times more than Mark from all the huge book sales. A few months after Jinyoung brought their first home together, a small, cozy house somewhere in a distant neighborhood, because Jinyoung’s popularity was on the rise, the novel then signed to be made into a twenty-episodes drama series by Jaebum. The news became a shocker for Jinyoung, who was completely unaware that such decision had been made without his own consent despite being the author of the novel that’s going to have a TV adaptation. But with the convincing tactics of Jaebum and Mark, Jinyoung just sighed and let it happened. It’ll be good promotion anyways. And of course, more profits coming towards the writer’s way.

 

What was really unexpected was Jinyoung being casted as the male lead. Apparently, the director of the project was thrilled to find out how young and handsome Jinyoung is, extremely fitting for a stunning male lead. Jinyoung was going to reject the offer at first for a quite good reason. Though, no one really actually understood the reason. Only Mark does. Of course, it’s always Mark.

 

The reason was because Kim Minkyung, the main character of Jinyoung’s novel, was written entirely based on his own lover, Mark Tuan. And the other main character, Lee Jiyoung, was of course, written based on himself. The novel was a look of their past together. The novel was written based on their story. It’s hard to be acting like Mark when Jinyoung knows he isn’t Mark. It’s just not right.

 

But Mark just held Jinyoung in his arms, threading his fingers through Jinyoung’s hair, softly leaving kisses on the crown of Jinyoung’s head. Mark said he understands and that Jinyoung didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to. Mark said he was sure the director could find another person. Mark said it wasn’t a big deal. Mark then said “thank you” and smiled. Mark then ended the conversation with another sweet smile, much like the one Jinyoung had fell in love with back when Mark’s charcoal-colored hair was a fiery red. They shared another sweet stare and pressed their lips together, and the rest of the night was just about them.

 

The next morning, Jinyoung accepted the offer.

 

Because Jinyoung wanted to understand Mark, too.

 

He wanted to understand what Mark was going through back when they were nothing but a jock and a nerd with their hearts connected for the first time.

 

And Jinyoung did.

 

He finally understood how he had, and always, looked like through Mark’s eyes.

 

“How may we help you, sir?” The front desk nurse greeted Jinyoung with a forced smile.

 

Clearing his throat, Jinyoung pulled his cap down lower, “Is Doctor Tuan available? I would like to see him.”

 

The nurse bit her lip, “Um, did you had an appointment?” It’s a stupid question to ask when it’s, like, two in the morning, but procedures are procedures. Besides, this person looked extremely suspicious, raising so many red flags.

 

“No,” Jinyoung answered, a little edge to his voice. Since when was it this complicated just to see his boyfriend?

 

“Well, sir,” the nurse glanced around, her eyes suddenly became a lot more alerted, “If you don’t have an appointment, then I can’t-”

 

“Fine,” Jinyoung sighed, “I’m here to visit my friend, Youngjae, you know, the soccer player, Choi Youngjae.”

 

“B-but visiting hours are over-”

 

“Look, I don’t want to cause any trouble, all right? I’ve been working and didn’t have time to come earlier. So could you please just do me a favor?”

 

“I…” The nurse took another look at the male in front of her. The man was clad in black from head to toes, even wore a mask. If that doesn’t scream “assassin,” then what does?

 

“Just let him go,” a yawn interrupted the nurse’s train of thought, “Hey, you, only for a little bit, okay?” Another nurse, a male, stretched and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Choi Youngjae-ssi is in VVIP 117. Take the elevator to the VVIP floor and go straight down. His room should be on the right. I’m telling you now, but he isn’t alone in there, so don’t be too shock.”

 

Jinyoung mentally rolled his eyes. Figures. Jaebum had finally reached his limit. With a nod, Jinyoung headed towards the elevator, leaving the female nurse scolding the male nurse, something about letting a killer roaming around a peacefully quiet hospital. Jinyoung could care less.

 

Being a great and supportive friend that he is, Jinyoung actually went up to the VVIP floor before anything else. He didn’t stay for long. Just a minute of poking his head inside the room and found those two lovebirds wrapped up in each other’s embraces. With a smile behind his mask, he pulled the door close. The place was awfully quiet. Not even the comfortable stillness, but more like a corner of anxiety built up and ready to engulf everything in its path. Or maybe Jinyoung’s nature of a goody-two-shoes has always been lingering within his heart despite the cruel reality of the showbiz world. Maybe Jinyoung was determined to go see Mark no matter what. Even if it meant sneaking around in his black outfit, really looking like he’s a professional killer hired by some terrorist.

 

Took a while, mostly because he didn’t know the hospital all that well, but Jinyoung finally found Doctor Tuan’s room. A little smile danced on his lips as he carefully opened the door and slipped inside stealthily. Jinyoung looked around and caught his boyfriend there on the couch watching TV. He looked up at the screen right when the ending credits of the episode started rolling. The little slideshow of pictures of the scenes played with the drama’s soundtrack. Jinyoung smirked when he saw his own face on the huge screen.

 

After the credits, Jinyoung watched as Mark dropped his head against the couch tiredly. He felt bad for his boyfriend. Sometimes, Jinyoung would forget that he’s not the only one who’s tired from overworking. He would forget that helping and saving people take a lot of work.

 

Nonetheless, Mark does a fine job. And Jinyoung couldn’t be more proud.

 

“How did I do?”

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

Quick on his feet, Mark made his way to Jinyoung with a bright smile. “Hey.” He pulled his boyfriend into a hug. “Miss you.”

 

Jinyoung returned the hug with the same amount of emotions, wrapping his arms tightly around Mark’s torso. “God, I miss you so much…”

 

 

They stayed hugging for a while, letting time froze on its axis, so they could bathe in each other’s warmth that they’ve been craving these past weeks. None of them wanted to let go. They needed this.

 

“Why are you back so early?” Mark asked, pressing a light kiss on the side of Jinyoung’s neck.

 

“Tried to finish quick so I could come home to you.”

 

“You didn’t have to,” Mark frowned, disapproving already, “Forcing your body to do more than you can isn’t good-”

 

“Don’t let me hear another word-”

 

“I’m saying, as a doctor, I advice you-”

 

Jinyoung’s lips quickly cut off Mark’s words. Immediately, the doctor melted into the longing kiss. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s torso and held on tight as their mouths moved together sweetly. Mark reached up and took off Jinyoung’s cap and raked his fingers through the bed of soft hair he’s been dreaming about whenever he closed his eyes. Their chaste kiss took a different turn when Jinyoung purposely rubbed his thighs in the meet of Mark’s legs, earning a groan from the doctor. Chuckling, Mark lifted Jinyoung up, patting his thigh as a signal. Jinyoung held onto Mark’s neck and wrapped his legs around Mark’s waist, letting the doctor carried him to sit on top of the office desk.

 

“Are we…”

 

Smirking, Mark looked at Jinyoung lovingly, “You don’t want?” Park Jinyoung wasn’t the same Park Jinyoung from all those years back. But there were some things that remained unchangeable.

 

“It’s not that… Just… It’s your office? Should we even be doing this here?” Jinyoung looked around with pure innocence in his eyes. Of course, Jinyoung and his goody-two-shoes nature.

 

Mark raised an eyebrow, already seeing the gears turning inside his boyfriend’s active brain. “You’re overthinking. It’s my office. I can do what I want.”

 

“But Mark-”

 

“Did you know ual is actually very good for your body?”

 

“Um-”

 

“It helps with stress and burns a lot more calories than if you were to take walks in the mornings. Also, it helps you get better sleep and relax your muscles.”

 

“To be more specific,” Jinyoung sighed, resting his head on Mark’s welcoming shoulder, “after , prolactin is released, resulting in the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness. Also, did you know? lowers heart attack risk? helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance. Because if either one of those is low, something like osteoporosis can happen and eventually you’ll catch yourself a heart disease.”

 

Mark kissed the top of Jinyoung’s head and smiled, “Forgot you’re the smarter one.”

 

“I wasn’t the one who graduated med school and became a doctor.”

 

“But you’re the one who read through all those tedious textbooks just to re-teach me, because my dumb- didn’t understand whatever the professors were babbling about.”

 

Jinyoung looked up at his boyfriend and frowned, “Call yourself a dumb- again, and we’ll break up.”

 

“No, we won’t,” leaning down, Mark left a sweet kiss on Jinyoung’s lips, “You always say that. I stopped counting after the tenth time.”

 

“I don’t want you to feel that way about yourself,” Jinyoung pouted, leaning forwards so Mark could hug him.

 

“I know. And thank you.”

 

They stayed wrapped up in each other’s embraces. They’ve been away from each other for too damn long. Neither of them could barely held themselves together from all the feelings they’ve been locking inside. They always have to wait. Have to wait until they’re behind closed doors to be able to express their love for each other. But Mark didn’t mind. He never did. He knew better than to complain and put pressure on Jinyoung regarding this private relationship. Mark just appreciates all the time he could get with the love of his life.

 

After a while, Jinyoung tapped Mark’s arm, “Can we go home?”

 

The first answer flashed in the doctor’s head was a soft “no,” but he closed his eyes and kissed his lover’s cheek, “Yes. Let’s go home.”

 

Jinyoung smiled, reaching up to pull Mark’s face down for a kiss, “Thank you. I know you have work. But baby, I miss sleeping next to you.”

 

“Anything for you, Jinyoung-ah,” Mark replied and helped Jinyoung off the desk. “If you stay by my side, I’ll do anything.”

 

“Remember this,” Jinyoung looked into Mark’s eyes, staring into them as if they’re shining stars dancing against the dark night sky. “Remember what you just said.”

 

“I’ll remember forever. This isn’t the first time I’ve said this. And I’ll be saying this for many more times to come.”

 

“I just want you to remember that you said you’ll do anything.”

 

Mark quirked his eyebrow, “What are you planning, Park Jinyoung?”

 

Flashing Mark a cute smiling before putting on his mask and cap, Jinyoung shook his head, “Nothing embarrassing.”

 

“Should I be worry?”

 

“No~”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes, babe~”

 

“I’m worried.”

 

With a little nudge at his boyfriend’s arm, the author winked, “You worry too much, dear. Let’s just call it a night, yeah?”

 

“So we’re just sleeping?”

 

“Unless you want to do something else? Like watch a movie? We haven’t gone on dates for a long time now-”

 

“We can make love and call that a date,” Mark wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Jinyoung laughed softly and hugged Mark’s arm, “Only because you’re hot as .”

 

“Why so superficial? Can’t it be because I’m such a loving and caring boyfriend?”

 

“Whatever works. Because everything applies to you. You’re hot and loving? Damn, I’m lucky.”

 

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

 

“No, I like it this way.”

 

“Jinyoung-”

 

“One more word and we’re really just going to sleep.”

 

“No, we won’t.”

 

“Mark-”

 

“I know you miss me.”

 

“Why are you always right?”

 

“Don’t you? Miss me?”

 

“I do. Soooooo much!”

 

Mark shrugged, “Miss you more~”

 

“I know.”

 

“I know you know.”

 

“I know you know I know.”

 

“Okay, stop. This is ridiculous.”

 

They shared a look and laughed. It’s been a while.

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

The interviewer smiled, feeling lucky herself for landing such an honorable interview with the top author-actor in the industry. Not to mention, Park Jinyoung was a stunning man in real life. Anyone would feel lucky with just sitting in front of such an angelic presence.

 

“So Jinyoung-ssi, how do you feel about the huge success of your novel and drama?”

 

Jinyoung chuckled softly, eyes shining bright and handsomely, “I am grateful to all the director and staff members for making all of this possible. Without them, I would be a lost cause.”

 

“Wow! You’re such a humble person, Jinyoung-ssi! I’m sure you’ve worked hard and took parts in the directing, too, right?”

 

“Yes, I did. The director had consult with me on a lot of things regarding how some scenes should be executed. Although lacking the knowledge and experience of film directing, I still tried my best to help out. I just want to apologize beforehand,” Jinyoung laughed, hand slightly covering his mouth.

 

Laughing along, the interviewer couldn’t help but be swept by the modesty of the man. “Oh, stop it! Don’t say that! I’m sure everything worked out perfectly.”

 

“Thank God it did.”

 

They laughed some more before the interviewer smoothly transitioned this lively atmosphere into something more calm and serious. “I heard from a lot of sources that there was a very specific reason why Director Mo, who have won so many national television awards, sought out your opinions. Do we get the honor to hear your side of the story?”

 

Jinyoung didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, thinking over the right way to respond to this sudden, but inevitable, attack. “Well, um, it’s nothing really. Director Mo just thought it’ll be useful to get suggestions from the primary source.”

 

“Primary source? You mean…”

 

“Yes,” the author smiled softly, casting his eyes down on the small pot of pink roses on the table. “I write based on my own experiences. Of course, there are tweaks and twists here and there, but the overall idea comes from what I’ve gone through in life.”

 

“So there’s actually a lover out there somewhere then?”

 

Normally, people with about the same status as Jinyoung would be shaken in their seats and try to steer this dangerous question elsewhere. But for Jinyoung, it was different. His heart wasn’t beating as fast nor was his vision blurry with anxiety. He was calm and collected. Just a bit shy. “Yes… I do, actually.”

 

The news immediately set the place on fire. In split seconds, eyes were on the handsome author. They were all hungry for scandal. And Park Jinyoung dropped it right at their doorsteps. This was a huge deal. Celebrities don’t usually admit to having a private love life.

 

“Jinyoung-ssi, would you elaborate?”

 

Chuckling, Jinyoung shifted a bit in his seat, as his cheeks turned a little pinkish. “I’m saying I do have a lover, someone’s waiting for me at home. Someone who I’ve been through all these tragedies with. Someone who loves me unconditionally. Someone who I love more than I could ever describe. Someone who means the whole world to me.”

 

The room fell into an unbelievable silence. They could feel it their bones. Park Jinyoung, a successful author-actor with a beautiful face and grace that’s loved by everyone, was going to reveal his long-term relationship to the world. He’s going to let every soul knows that he is happy.

 

Jinyoung smiled, eyes sparkling with the love he has for the man occupying his thoughts. “We’ve been together since Senior year high school, and I honestly could not ask for anyone or anything else. I love him so much.” He looked at the camera. Emotions poured out from the depth of his raging heart. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

“Oh… …” Youngjae almost dropped his spoon on the table. Luckily, Jaebum caught it in time. Pointing at the TV, the younger tried to process what his eyes and ears just witnessed, “That… That wasn’t a proposal, right?”

 

Jaebum reached over and wiped his fiancé’s mouth with a napkin, “Sounds like one. But I didn’t expect Jinyoung to suddenly announce his relationship like this. Mark, did you two talk about-” Jaebum stopped after his best friend’s shocked expression.

 

Mark didn’t know.

 

They didn’t talk about this with each other.

 

“Mark-hyung…” Youngjae tried to ease the atmosphere a bit. Who would have known things would turn out this way? The three of them were just watching Jinyoung’s live interview in Youngjae’s V.V.I.P room for supports. No one expected for Park Jinyoung to do it so suddenly. “Hyung, I said this before. Jinyoung-hyung doesn’t care-”

 

Quickly covering Youngjae’s mouth, Jaebum shook his head slightly as a signal. He looked over at Mark, who still stood there all frozen. This was all too sudden. Jaebum could see the frustration on Mark’s face. The doctor wasn’t really happy with Jinyoung’s shotgun decision. “Eat, Jae-ah. We’re going home after you finish. I already packed your bags and everything. So hurry up and EAT.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Youngjae didn’t say another word. It’s Jaebum who knows Mark better anyways.

 

“Take better care of yourself, Youngjae-ah. If the pain acts up again, come see me immediately,” Mark said sternly and exited the room.

 

Something picked at Mark’s heart. He didn’t know what to feel about this. Youngjae didn’t have to tell him that Jinyoung doesn’t care about what other people think. Mark had already known. He knew how much Jinyoung wanted to go public. He knew it all. But Mark wasn’t going to risk it. He wasn’t going to risk everything that Jinyoung had built up. It was already enough that Jinyoung had to give up college and work to support Mark’s tuition. Jinyoung sacrificed too much for someone like Mark, who doesn’t deserve any single bit of that. Never, at least in this lifetime, could Mark repay everything Jinyoung had done for him. These past ten years, it’s still the same. Mark doesn’t think he deserves Jinyoung. Not once. He only thinks that Jinyoung was way too perfect for him.

 

So this wasn’t okay.

 

Again and again, it’s always Mark that takes everything away from Jinyoung. And he hates it. Because Jinyoung deserves so much better.

 

Opening the door to is office, the doctor sighed and reminded himself to call his boyfriend later and talk about this whole mess. They can’t go out like this. Jinyoung doesn’t think about the consequences but Mark does. It won’t be pretty. Never will be when Mark’s dating such a famous person. Shaking his head, he couldn’t understand why did Jinyoung-

 

His thought process came to a halt as his eyes laid on something suspicious. Mark drew closer to his desk and found a neon pink post-it stuck to the leather surface of his journal.

 

 

I hope you’re watching my live tonight~

Love you~

 

 

Like the calm waves pulling up against the soft sand on a moonless night, Mark’s heart skipped a couple beats. Jinyoung had never done this before. Leaving post-its. It has always been a ‘Mark thing’ since high school. Mark has always been the one leaving colorful post-its around their shared house for Jinyoung to read whenever they missed each other due to their own schedules. It’s their thing. Although Jaebum was the one who had come up with this whole post-it fiasco, Mark and Jinyoung were the ones who continued it throughout the years they’ve been together. But it has always been Mark who did the writing, and Jinyoung who did the reading. Always has been Mark who excitedly buys post-its to make sure he sticks a ton of them around the house before leaving for work in the morning. Always has been Mark who writes sweet and cringe-worthy compliments and encouragements for Jinyoung to read. Always been Mark who constantly reminds Jinyoung through those colorful post-its that no matter what, they will still love each other. Always has been Mark.

 

Shifting his gaze, Mark caught a neon green post-it hanging from the corner of his desk.

 

 

I know you’ll be mad at me

For what I will say on live broadcast.

But Mark, I just want you to know

That I love you

And I don’t regret loving you.

 

 

A blue post-it waved teasingly at Mark from its place on the mug of cold coffee.

 

 

I also know you’re blaming yourself for

A lot of things that had happened.

It’s okay.

I did everything I had to do to

Prove my love for you.

I don’t hold grudges against you,

So you shouldn’t hold grudges against

Yourself.

 

 

This time, a red post-it confidently perched from the fountain pen that was a gift from Jinyoung on Mark’s graduation from med school.

 

 

You know,

I only need you.

I don’t care for anything else.

 

 

Feeling his eyes getting a bit watery, Mark puts the post-it down and looked up at the ceiling. He was getting emotional over all these post-its. It wasn’t like Jinyoung to be the one doing this. So much overwhelming feelings were crashing against his chest that made it hard to breathe. Sighing and dropping his head, Mark peeled the last post-it, a bright yellow sunshine, off his computer screen.

 

 

I want to marry you <3 :)

 

 

He sat down, eyes staring at the beautiful handwriting on this yellow post-it covered in happiness. His lips quivering and hands shaking as he set the note down next to all the others. Mark nodded, burying his face into the palms of his hands and cried.

 

 

 

 

%%%

 

 

 

 

They didn’t see each other after that live interview. Jinyoung left the country immediately to attend his schedule. He couldn’t come home for a whole month. But they still talked and video called. However, Mark never brought about the post-its that Jinyoung made. And well, Jinyoung understood and didn’t push that topic any further. He knew Mark didn’t want to talk about it. Although it hurts Jinyoung that Mark was just pretending it didn’t happen, Jinyoung still respected his boyfriend’s personal decision on the matter.

 

Finally, Jinyoung landed back in Seoul. He wouldn’t miss his best friends’ wedding for any reason.

 

“Oh, will you look at that! They really got the most famous author and actor here today!” A loud, cheerful voice that could only belong to one person made Jinyoung turned his head.

 

“Not as famous as you, Mister Wang,” Jinyoung smiled, opening his arms to give Jackson a big hug. “I’m sorry I missed your game.”

 

“No problem. I get it,” the fencer laughed, “At least I get to see you before this year ends. That’s already enough.”

 

“Don’t you see me on TV all the time?” Jinyoung followed side-by-side with Jackson into the venue. Looking around, the author craned his neck to find his boyfriend.

 

“Mark’s not here yet,” Jackson said, patting Jinyoung’s shoulder, “he’s in surgery right now. Some baseball player got a serious arm fracture.”

 

“And he didn’t think to call and tell me?”

 

“You know that’s not what he wants.”

 

“I know.”

 

Jackson pursed his lips, didn’t really know what to say. He felt bad for Jinyoung. What Mark did was irresponsible, especially when it’s the day of his best friends’ wedding. Jackson contemplated on whether or not he should break the news to Jaebum and Youngjae. Maybe not. As much as he was upset with Mark, Jackson didn’t want this to ruin such a happy day. Besides, he has hopes that Mark would walk through that door at least halfway through the ceremony.

 

“JINYOUNG-HYUNG! JACKSON-HYUNG!” From afar, Bambam shouted and waved shameslessly, not bothered by the side-eyes of bystanders. Bambam rushed towards his hyungs and jumped into their arms. “I miss you two so much!”

 

“We literally just saw each other last weekend at your runway show,” Jackson raised an eyebrow.

 

Bambam rolled his eyes, “Fine. I miss you, Jinyoung-hyung!”

 

“Miss you, too. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your first anniversary runway show,” Jinyoung smiled apologetically. He secretly wondered if this what he’d be saying all night. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to apologize for missing Jaebum’s and Youngjae’s wedding.

 

“It’s totally okay! I have many more that you could come to! Anyways, Jaebum-hyung reserved a table just for all of us. Come on! Yugyeom’s already there!” And Bambam dragged Jinyoung by the author’s wrist to the table near the stage.

 

Yugyeom greeted them with an enthusiastic grin, “Hyungs!”

 

They huddled together for a noisy group hug that made the people around burst out laughing. It’s not everyday to see a group of very famous people excitedly hugging each other like they’ve been best friends for years. Which they are.

 

After the group calmed down, they settled in their seats and started catching up with each other. It was like as if they’ve never been apart for. As if it was back during their high school years again. They were unnecessarily loud with all the talking over each other and laughing, but the air around them was warm enough for everyone to feel envious of how close they all are with one another. They talked and talked. Even when the lights started dimming, Jackson and Jinyoung were still laughing at whatever bull the other two youngers were spewing out of their mouths.

 

The ceremony begun and Mark still wasn’t there. Jinyoung started to worry. Bad thoughts occupied his mind. He tried to focus on the couple of the night, but the more he set his eyes towards Jaebum and Youngjae, the more he kept thinking about Mark. Halfway through, Jinyoung decided to excuse himself to call Mark. But before he could get up, the doors opened and his boyfriend snuck in quietly. Jinyoung stared at Mark until the doctor sat down on the empty seat next to him.

 

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung asked first thing.

 

Mark leaned over and kissed his cheek before winking playfully, “Yeah, I am.”

 

The kiss shocked Jinyoung. Because they’re in public. Mark just kissed him in public.

 

“Sorry I’m late. Had to go home and shower,” the doctor said, switching his gaze to the stage where his best friends now exchanging their vows. “Has Jaebum cried yet? I feel like he’s going to cry.”

 

Sighing softly to himself, Jinyoung shook his head, “No. But they both look beautiful.”

 

Mark looked at Jaebum and Youngjae in their matching white suits and smiles on their handsome faces. “They’re a match made-in-heaven. All these years, they’ve gone through everything and still ending up marrying each other.”

 

Jinyoung reached out and held Mark’s hand under the table, “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

 

To this, Mark turned to face Jinyoung immediately, “No. Why would I be?”

 

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung shrugged, “I just feel like we’ve been distanced lately.”

 

Squeezing his worried lover’s hand, Mark offered a reassurance smile, “Babe, we’re fine. Let’s not have such a long face on such a happy day.”

 

“Okay…” Jinyoung bit his tongue and lied. He could feel something was wrong. And he couldn’t help but worry his heart over it. Was it because of those post-its? Did Mark not like them? Does Mark not want to marry him that bad? Jinyoung felt like crying. But he pulled himself together. He had to be stronger than this.

 

An hour passed and the ceremony was over, the venue lit up in pretty colors and the real wedding party started. Foods were finally being served to the guests and music was blasting. There were people on the dance floor losing their minds with the craziness of the atmosphere. Jaebum and Youngjae were also on there, having fun with Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom. Everyone was partying left and right. Everyone except for Mark and Jinyoung, who just sat at the table and ate in silence.

 

Jinyoung had lost his appetite a long time ago. All he did was just poking at his food boringly. Meanwhile, Mark just gulped down dish after dish like he hadn’t eat in days. Jinyoung just watched, begging Mark to please spare a look at him. But it seemed like Mark was just ignoring him. And that hurts the most. Jinyoung hated being ignored by Mark. It would always bring him back to that time in high school when Mark totally ran away from him after their first kiss. Jinyoung hated that feeling. Confused and hurt. Upset and angry.

 

“Mark-” Jinyoung opened his mouth.

 

“ALL RIGHT! EVERYONE GET ON THE DANCE FLOOR FOR THE FLOWER THROW!”

 

The venue erupted in cheers and whistles as people scurried onto the dance floor like ants fighting over a piece of bread. Youngjae got up on stage with his bouquet. He waved for Jaebum to come up to. When two of them were up there, the crowd roared and cheered some more. Jaebum grinned and pulled his now husband in for a quick kiss. That got everyone shouting and screaming even louder. Youngjae hits Jaebum with the bouquet and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment.

 

“MAY I HAVE THE LOVELY COUPLE TO FACE THEIR BACKS TO THE CROWD PLEASE!”

 

Youngjae turned around first, and then Jaebum followed. They both held the bouquet together, getting ready to launch it off. With the finished countdown from the MC, the couple flung their arms and sent the bundle of roses flying backwards. The people on the dance floor all tried to reach for it, pushing each other wildly. But Fate had other plans.

 

The bouquet landed right on Jinyoung’s lap out-of-nowhere. The handsome author was startled at the sudden attack of a flying object. But when he realized what that object was, his face burned red. He looked up and all eyes were on him. And of course, Youngjae and Jaebum were grinning like mad once they saw who had the bouquet. Jackson, Yugyeom, and Bambam were the first ones to clap and cheer hysterically.

 

“LOOKS LIKE THE NEXT PERSON TO MARRY IS THE GORGEOUS MISTER PARK JINYOUNG!”

 

The entire venue were on their feet and clapped for the author, who wanted to just dig a hole and bury himself. His face kept turning redder and redder. Jinyoung looked down at the blooming red roses on his lap. He picked it up and stared at it. When he lifted his head, Mark was already staring at him. Jinyoung wanted to open his mouth to just say something, but Mark got up and left. Shaking his head, Jinyoung hurried after Mark with the bouquet secured tightly in his hands.

 

“Mark, please!” Jinyoung called out, desperation poured from the depths of his heart. “What is going on? Talk to me, please! I don’t want it to end like this!” It’s only then that Mark stopped. Jinyoung bit his lip to hold back his tears. Holding the flowers in his hands, Jinyoung swallowed the uncomfortable lump sitting at his throat. “Is this it? After ten years, is this where it all ends? Are you leaving? Are you leaving after ing me over since the day we first talked?! Are you ing leaving after making me falls head-over-heels in love with you?! Was everything you’ve ever told me all a big- lie? Mark! Answer me! Are you throwing me away?!”

 

He didn’t notice, but tears were streaming down his face. Jinyoung’s hands started to shake. He felt so betrayed.

 

Mark only turned around to face Jinyoung after seconds that felt like hours. But Mark didn’t say anything. Which only cuts deeper into Jinyoung’s wounds. Why is this happening right now? On a day that’s supposed to be happy for everyone, why is Mark doing this?

 

Jinyoung watched as Mark shortened the distance between them. He had let Mark held onto his heart only to have it dropped and shattered pitifully. Jinyoung didn’t want to hear what Mark was going to say. Because somewhere deep within him, he knew that this is the end for the two of them.

 

But Mark didn’t say anything.

 

Just held out his hand.

 

And gave Jinyoung a sky blue post-it.

 

Jinyoung stared at the post-it and stared back up at Mark. He took it.

 

 

Hey, beautiful.

Marry me, please? :D

 

 

“And also, since it was totally unexpected, but I’m not complaining, you look great holding a bouquet,” Mark said, smiling from ear-to-ear. “Want to hold one at our wedding?”

 

Bringing the roses up to hide his crying face, Jinyoung nodded frantically, “Yes!”

 

Mark laughed and pulled his Jinyoung into his embrace, “Going to love you so good, Jinyoung-ah~”

 

“Mark, I love you so ing much. I-”

 

“I know. I love you, too. And will always love you.”

 

“Do you promise?”

 

“Yes, I promise. Also, I promise to never leave you. I’ll always be by your side like how you will be by my side, too. I don’t care for anyone else’s opinions. If loving openly makes you happy, then it. Seeing you happy already makes me happy. That’s all I’m asking for.”

 

“Thank you!” Jinyoung smiled through his tears and left butterfly kisses on Mark’s neck, “Thank you so much!”

 

Chuckling, Mark patted Jinyoung’s back, “No, I should say thank you. It’s been ten years, Jinyoung-ah. Thank you for giving me strength. Thank you for sacrificing everything for me. Thank you. Thank you. I don’t deserve you, but you’re here with me. And really, I could never ask for anything more. You, Park Jinyoung, are enough. I will fall in love with you all over again and again.”

 

Those words only made Jinyoung cried harder as he clung onto Mark. He’ll never let go. “I-I thought you were-were mad at me for proposing. I th-thought this was it. I w-was so scared. I didn’t want to ever watch you walk away from me.”

 

“Never,” Mark said softly, “I will never walk away from you. Yes, I was a little upset at what you done, but at the same time, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t think you were seriously wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone like me. I thought-”

 

Jinyoung didn’t let Mark finish. Because he didn’t want to hear what Mark has been saying over and over again. He crashed their mouths together and hoped that his love would transfer. Jinyoung wanted Mark to see that Mark deserves him. And he deserves Mark. They’re both worth it and perfect for each other.

 

Pulling away, Jinyoung rested their foreheads against each other’s, “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“I don’t care how long it will take. I promise I will make you realize that you, Mark Tuan, deserves everything in this world and more.”