Chapter 3: Unfathomable Love

* * *

[Yunho]

I was not a man with many words. I had never had any interest to meddle in someone else’s affair unless it was something that I need to deal with due to the requirement of my job. It wasn’t like I wanted to brag myself, but I could easily deduce what kind of thought played in people's minds – like it was my job. Their expression could tell me something without they need to, judging them by the look in their eyes. As a prosecutor, I had a strong instinct when seeking conviction over one’s wrongdoings. I had been working on many cases that involved a liar, cheater, scammer, and to a more serious crime, a killer.

And Kim Jaejoong, he just happened to be amongst those mundane people that I had to face and deal with every day. The crime he committed was being a pretender while using me. With just one night spent with him, I discovered something that I should ignore.

It was all started during that night of celebrating my cousin’s birthday, Junsu. I caught the true color of his character on that night of the party. It seemed there was more to this guy than meet the eyes. 

The look of contempt in Jaejoong’s eyes whenever he watched how happy Junsu smiled by Yoochun’s side. His eyes didn’t waver from watching the couple.

The hurtful expression contorted his face when Yoochun kissed Junsu in front of him. Like he wanted to escape the scene, to find someplace to have a good cry. Then everything downed to me. This guy loved his best friend. And the most surprising thing was… the troubled look on his face when he suddenly asked me to be his boyfriend the next morning, as we woke up on the same bed. I was baffled at first. But only momentarily, before I recollected my scattered memories of what exactly happened the night before.

He kept me company and chatted me up while gave me a drink, too much I could tell. Then, here we were in my penthouse as he brought me home after I had gotten drunk. Despite his delicate and innocent look, he had this wicked side. But not too wicked to fool or trick me. He was more like a naturally-born good kid, trying to be a bad one for the first time in his life.  

Kim Jaejoong was like an open book to me. So easy to read.

At first, it was just a sympathy feeling on my part. I felt sorry for him whenever I caught his pained and heartbroken expression whenever he saw Junsu being so intimate with his best friend or… precisely his long-time crush.

But when he suddenly asked me out, I felt curious, confused, and not less… intrigued. It didn’t take me too long to realize everything that he had plotted out. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, but I just played along with him despite I knew his real intention. If that was the case, I thought maybe I could really make him fall for me someday since he had caught my interest.

He might be not honest in his action, but the looks in his eyes were. They were opposite from what he intended to. 

Every time I asked him out, he was just agreed, trying to get along with me. But he looked kind of guilty. Whenever I leaned closer to kiss him, he would have this look of hesitancy.

How long do you intend to be tormented by your unrequited love? You should be more cunning if you had such a wicked plan in your mind from the start. Don’t look too disturbed when you were just pretending and showed me that complicated and guilty expression.

That was what I thought since I knew he was not a bad person after all. Just a person who determined to chase after his love even though he knew it was late.

But then, I noticed it. The subtle changes of his behavior towards me. The way he looked at me started to change. I didn’t know if it was just me or he did fall for me.

The way he stared at me when he thought I didn’t notice and looked away swiftly, flabbergasted once I caught his scrutiny eyes. The way he smiled and lowered his flushing face every time I braved to give a peck on his cheek or lips. All those priceless expressions of his had become my new interest.

This Kim Jaejoong really drove me crazy as I… was seriously started to love everything about him.

That was what made me more determined to make him fall for me for sure and forget that unrequited love he had been keeping for his best friend, who already dated my cousin.

It turned out I was the one that plotting out something to make him mine.

When there was a chance where I could be free from my hectic work schedule, I went to meet him up at his campus, making him get used to my presence in his daily life. 

Cunningly, always find a way to steal a kiss from him which the reaction I gained was always priceless; enough to give me the satisfaction of being right about my assumption.

*

“What do you guys discuss? Looks kinda exciting.” I approached the table where I spotted Yoochun was sitting with Jaejoong. It was their break time. I even memorized his class schedule to fit with mine, so that possible for us to spend much time together. Also, a way to distract him from pondering over his unrequited feeling for this cluelessly and dumb Park Yoochun.

“Oh, Yunho. What are you doing here?” Yoochun asked in surprise.

Jaejoong’s head jerked up at the mention of my name and before he could look up to me, I settled down next to him. I put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

“I’ve just happened to drop by meeting an acquaintance from your faculty. So, I thought it’s a good chance for me to see Jaejoong here.” I smiled and looked at a strangely quiet Jaejoong. He threw me a warm smile. His gaze was drawn to me.

That was enough to make me leaned over him and give a quick peck on his plump lips. His face flushed as he pushed me away slightly. That reaction satisfied me.

“Aww… cut it out! You two are obviously madly in love, uh. I could see that.” Yoochun laughed.

“Why? Are you feeling jealous now?” I asked impulsively. Somehow it made me curious if this guy was really that clueless about Jaejoong’s feelings towards him. I always wanted to check the fact out.

“Yeah, I do feel jealous. You have taken away Jaejoong from me. So, what do you say?” He retorted and grinned.

“Oh, my bad. I don’t notice you actually care about that. Then should I return him to you, but you have to return back my Junsu.” I said, deadpan and in absolute composure. They both fell into momentary silence. I could see Jaejoong seemed perturbed by the remark. But I couldn’t figure it was because of the part of ‘should I return him to you’ or ‘you have to return back my Junsu’. As for Yoochun, he was indeed… clueless.

“That’s just a joke, man. Don’t look all serious.” I let out a soft chuckle, breaking the sudden awkwardness as I felt bad to see Jaejoong’s troubled look. A bit of regret for trapped him in this uncomfortable situation. But I need him to let go of his feeling if I wanted to make him fall in love with me.

Yoochun laughed after being aware of his caught-off guard reaction, but Jaejoong remain silent and I could feel his eyes on me.

“By the way Yunho, I’ve just asking Jaejoong to join Junsu and me this weekend. We’re going to a ski resort, there is a good place to skiing and they provided a nice inn to rest in too. Do you want to join?” Yoochun asked.

I quirked up my eyebrow upon heard their plan. "Oh, that sounds cool. So, what Jaejoong says?” I looked at Jaejoong to hear his answer. He looked agitated. I could tell that he didn’t want to join, but delaying his response to not make it too obvious.

“He said he will think about it. I hope you can tag along so he will follow us, perhaps.” Yoochun smiled cheekily. Jaejoong still remained silent and looked away, avoiding my gaze. 

I smiled. Well, this might be a good chance to make him forget about his unrequited love. It was better to let him face the pain now than living with the pain and sorrow of watching someone you love being with someone else. 

“Then, I’m in. So, does Jaejoong. We will join you guys this weekend.” I decided. Jaejoong turned to look at me in stunned and his eyes spoke a silent refusal.

That was how we ended up here in this massive ski resort, belong to one of my family acquaintances. I planned everything perfectly since it was our first winter trip together.

I didn’t feel regret dragged Jaejoong here with me, although I saw his hurt expression, how he tried to suppress his feeling as he stood in one spot, watching Yoochun and Junsu flirting as the two played at another side of the ice slope. Because I could find my answer by assessed this situation.

Feeling the need to distract him, I bent over to grab a fistful of snow and tossed it to Jaejoong’s way. The snowball hit right on his shoulder.

Jaejoong spun around with an alarmed look and his eyes caught mine. An instantaneous, shy smile crept over his lips and up to his eyes, replacing his current glum look. I could not decipher the appeasement feeling that surging my heart at the thought of I able to pull that smile on his face promptly. Perhaps, he did like me.

"Yah! What are you umphh-" Jaejoong stumbled before he could charge towards me, as he clumsily stepped on his ski boots.

I couldn’t contain my laughs. "Are you okay?" I rushed to him and brushed off the snow that stuck on his eyebrows and the tip of his nose. This guy was so adorable.

He stared up at me and pouted as I fixed his beanie. My eyes stared back into his. His current look was enthralling; I felt a slight thump on my chest. And if I wasn’t wrong, there was a hint of blush on his cheeks as our gaze locked. I smiled.

“That’s it.” I muttered. Another hint for my assumption.

“Huh, what?” Jaejoong asked curiously as he caught my words.

“Nothing.” I said curtly and stood up. I decided to show him the right skiing technique as I saw how inept he was with this sport.

“Are you serious? This is very steep, and I don’t even know how to make a stop once I start sliding down. I’ll fall!” He spoke worriedly as I asked him to start sliding down the hill slowly.

“That’s the point.”

“What?” He frowned.

“The first thing you need to learn is how to fall.”

Yes, you must let go of the hiding pain and start to look at me. That was what I wanted to say.

“But I don’t want to fall!”

“Well, you will.” I smiled determinedly.

*

I flopped my body on the single couch while waiting for Jaejoong to finish his shower. We were in our cabin room as for the first time, Yoochun and Junsu arranged for us to share a room. Well, I gave them some credit for the idea.

I took the moment to relax my aching back after skiing all day and busied myself with caught Jaejoong from falling on the ice. Somehow, out of all the short trips we ever had, this one worked to draw him closer to me. I pleased myself with the thought in mind as my heavy eyelids closed.

I was in my drowsiness with eyes still closed, didn’t know how long I had fallen asleep when I could sense there was a pair of eyes staring at me. Then I felt the soft and cold fingers of someone touched my cheek and trailed down to my jaw. I tried to remain calm as I knew that someone was taking a moment to gratified himself with study my look. I suppressed a smile, giving him some time. When I felt those cold fingers near my lips, my calmness that was on the edge crumbled. I grabbed that hand and opened my eyes only to meet with Jaejoong’s gentle gaze, which widened upon meeting mine. He looked alarmed and backed away from our proximity.

“What are you doing?” I voiced in low and couldn’t help but smiled. His expression was adorable.

“Huh, I… I just- umph!” He stuttered. So cute.

I pulled him up onto my laps, cutting him off as I sensed that he tried to escape me. I locked him against me by held his waist in place. He looked agitated now with eyes unfocused, trying to avoid looking at me with his palms on my chest, putting a bit gap.

“Let me go...” He tried to wriggle his way out.

“You’ve been sneakily watching me and touching me...” I leaned my face closer to his.

“Do you expect me to just let you go after you’ve seduced me just now?” I smiled and stared at those pouty lips of his that were so close for me to just kiss him.

“I…I did not seduce y-you…” His stuttering worsened. And I took that opportunity to grab his face, gently bringing him down and my lips skimming over his as I whispered. “You’re really something, Kim Jaejoong.”

He stopped pushing me once I pressed my lips against him for a real kiss. Jaejoong's eyes widened in surprise. I kissed him softly and gently, closed my eyes, relishing the softness of his full lips against mine. It took seconds before I felt Jaejoong’s hands slid up to my shoulders and linked them at the back of my neck as he slowly replied to my kiss. I pried his lips as I deepened the kiss only when I sensed his willingness, stalling his breath as he surrendered to every move I made.

A chaotic flood of feeling surged my whole being as I peered at his expression through the slit of my eyes - Jaejoong’s hooded eyes flashed with passion. Seemed seeing my current feelings mirrored in his eyes, I felt the pounding of my chest. I broke the kiss first after minutes to let him catch his breath. I didn’t want to frighten him away with my urgency.

“This is really interesting…” I muttered.<