Chapter 1: True love always finds a way

* * *

I’d been deeply in love with this person ever since we were in high school. He was my best friend, Park Yoochun was the name. I didn’t know when this kind of feeling developed and I had been hoping for more. But, I didn’t have enough courage to show how I’d truly feel toward him. I was afraid this kind of feeling would bring him trouble, and worst it would affect our long and strong relationship. That was the sole obstacle that prevent me from confessing - if only I was a bit brave. But still, it was not like we could be in that kind of relationship. That wasn’t going to happen. Never.

Because… this love was always wrong to begin with. It was forbidden.

That was what people would always say. It was something should be disgusted. It was against the natural law, it would never ever be reciprocated. So, to have him as my best friend and always been with me was enough already – that was what I thought. So, I tried to eliminate this sinful feeling off me no matter how hard it was. But, all my attempts proved worthless when the day he introduced that person to me. I hated the person, who had stolen Yoochun from me. I hated that person so much.

“Jaejoong, I can’t go back with you today. So, you don’t need to wait for me at the train station. You can head home first.”

“Jaejoong, sorry I can’t have a lunch with you. I promise to make it up tomorrow, kay.”

“Jaejoong, I can’t watch the movie with you tonight. I’ve just remember that I need to pick up someone today. I’ll call you back later.”

That was not the first time Yoochun had cancelled all the plans that we made, and I was being stood up with a painful feeling because of another person presence between us. At first, I thought he had a girlfriend. If that was the case, I would just surrender and walk away. It was true he had someone he had been in love with, but… the person was not a girl. It was a guy.

How I wished I would reverse the time and gathered all my courage to just confess to him. There was nothing to blame, but my own cowardice. I was a coward. No matter how I thought that there was no one to blame, but myself, still, I couldn’t get it off my mind that certain someone was the real obstacle to my love for my long-life friend.

Kim Junsu was the name, the one who had stolen Yoochun from me. No matter how I looked at their happy relationship and tried to accept the harsh reality that tied me to a life with a lot of heartache, it wasn’t work. Everything that I’d used to share with only Yoochun, now I had to share them all with Junsu. First, it was the person himself, and now… every place I would love to spend with Yoochun alone would also welcoming Junsu’s presence.

I started to have the ill thought about how to make that Kim Junsu feel how hurt it felt to have someone who was really close to you to suddenly start gapping away and spending more time with someone else that he had just only met, rather than you who he had known most of his life.

This nasty plan of mine… it was the sole reason that led me to approach his cousin, the one that I learnt Junsu had been fond of before.

Jung Yunho was the name.

If I wasn’t trapped in this frustration and depression state, there wasn’t a way I would meet him.

* * *

Everything started during Kim Junsu’s 23rd birthday party. That night Yoochun had decided to celebrate his beloved one’s birthday at the famous pub that we had always frequented.

I didn’t know where I got this implausible courage to throw myself into this man’s embrace that I’d only know for a couple of weeks, after being introduced by both Yoochun and Junsu. Probably, it was because of my drunken state that led me to be so bold and made a move on him. The next thing I knew, I was on the bed with the half- Jung Yunho next to me in his luxurious penthouse.

I remembered how he looked so stunned, as if all the blood was drained off his face and system upon realized what we had been ended up to last night. And the most pained part was the way he looked at me with that guild-ridden look of his. Unknowing to him, this thing was well-planned. It was meant to happen anyway.

“I… I’m sorry Jaejoong. I don’t know that I could be totally wasted last night with only a couple of shots. I don’t even remember what happen. Please, don’t feel depress over this thing… I will take all the blame. I’m so sorry!” He said with head hung low, didn’t dare to meet my eyes.

“Are you… really feel sorry about this?”

“Huh?” He lifted up his head at once staring straight at me, looking muddled.

“Are you regretting it?” I phrased with a saddening look.

“W-what were you saying...?” I could hint the panic rising in his tone.

“It’s okay, forget it...” I sighed and pretended to look so hurt. Getting up from the bed, I grabbed my clothes on the floor and get dressed. I could feel his eyes following my every move.

“I… I don’t know what to say. If only I could do anything for you to make it up… to make you feel better. But it seems there’s nothing I can help you with. The thing has already happened and there is no way I-”

“You can do anything to make me feel better?” I cut him off before he could finish his words.

“Uh, yes… anything.” He said with a look of agitated.

A small smile curled up on my lips, hidden from his view as I had my back facing him. That was all I wanted to hear. I turned around, finally looking at him in the eyes. Yunho stared at me questioningly. I still remembered how those sharp, deep-brown eyes of his looked into mine with a worry expression written on his face. He was undoubtedly a marvellous-looking man with over six feet tall, bow-shaped lips, pointy nose and those vivid chiselled-features eyes glimmering against his tanned skin.

He was a real definition of masculinity. It would be a waste if he fell for me, when he deserved the better. That was the first thought that came into my head the first time I laid my eyes closely on him. But, I was greedy; too greedy for my own selfishness.

“Then, can you be my boyfriend?”

That had enough to make him looked dumbstruck for the second time on the bed upon heard my sudden request. His handsome, chiselled features hardened even while a look of nervousness settled in his eyes. Nonetheless, knowing him well for being so generous and so kind towards those around him, Yunho agreed without much asking after that. I knew it was just his action out of guilt. That prove him as a well-educated and such a self-righteous young prosecutor. No wonder he was on the list of a desirous bachelors that any women out there would die for. He was perfect in everything.

And that was it. The moment he agreed, I won and my plan on.

The day I decided to announce my relationship with Yunho to Yoochun and Junsu, I caught the hurting look in Junsu’s eyes. It was a moment of speechlessness, before he forced himself to smile and genuinely congratulated us. Probably, the thought of Jung Yunho ended up with me was something he didn’t expected. I knew he had been so attached to his cousin for so long, and now, I could divert Jung Yunho’s attention all to myself made me feel greater. It was like ‘In your face Kim Junsu!’

But that kind of feeling wasn’t prolong. The fact of Yoochun was still belonged to Junsu just won’t change. And I just hurt someone else in a way to get my stupid and selfish satisfaction; the feeling of fulfilment when I saw the look of hurt on Junsu’s face. It was just stupid of me. I never knew that one day, this lies would slowly eaten me up inside and spread the guilty feeling that became unbearable to me to bear it any longer.

Jung Yunho was far more kind and sweet than what I thought, always treating me in a way that made me feel like I was so precious to him. For the first time in my life, I felt loved and cared for.

There was not a day where he would miss to having lunch with me if he had promised. He would always be the first in initiate to go out for a date. He would willingly take few days off from his job no matter how busy he was as a young, prominent prosecutor; just so he could spend most of his clashing schedules with me for the short trip during my semester break. We started going out and did all the possible stuffs like a real lover, even though we never go far more than just sharing a passionate kiss after that unintended night. Surprisingly, our relationship had grown so fast and I became aware that I’d got myself into something I wasn’t prepared for. But my inner feeling was so itchy to see where this was going to and felt so heavy to stop everything now.

It was just nice to had someone who seem loved you for now and had been showing you the part of life that you had no idea existed.

Day by day, without I realized it, I’d been opened myself up to someone that I wasn’t expected to.

* * *

“Jaejoong, do you have any plan this weekend?” Yoochun asked one day when we were sitting at the cafeteria in our campus.

“Erm… I don’t have any at the moment. Why?”

“Then, wanna hang out together?”

“Huh? To where?” I asked, feeling a bit excited and yet amused at the thought he was asking me out after a long time – after he had grown attached to that Junsu guy.

“Junsu and I have plan to go skiing this weekend. And to think it back, it’s been a while I’m not hang out with you. So, do you want to join us?”

So... I'm just the extra, uh.

“Oh… I will think about it.” I said as I felt suddenly down upon heard that. Part of me really wanted to spend some time with him, but could I bear another tormenting sight of him and Junsu together?

“Oh, come on! It’s been so long we haven't hang out together. Also, Junsu had asked me to invite you too this time.”

Sure, it had been so long we hadn't spent time together. Because you were always with that guy! God, why love was this hurt…

“What do you guys discuss about? Looks kinda exciting.” Suddenly a familiar voice came approached us, and before I could look up at the person, the man settled down beside me. His arms just instinctively wrapped around my shoulders and brought me closer against him.

“Oh, Yunho. What are you doing here?” Yoochun asked in surprised.

“I’ve just happened to drop by meeting an acquaintance from your faculty. So, I though it’s a good chance for me to see Jaejoong here.” Yunho said while looking at me with his most tender smile that lately always made my heart filled with such a strange warmth feeling by the sight. Somehow, I felt agitated.

I returned his smile unconsciously, losing in those deep-brown eyes of his. I didn’t even expect him to leaning closer to me and kissing me briefly on the lips. I could feel my face suddenly heated up.

I pushed him slightly and dropped my look down. This man… he was crazy. We were in public!

“Aww… cut it out! You two are obviously madly in love, uh. I could see that.”

“Why? Are you feeling jealous now?” Yunho asked as he casually took my mango smoothie and sipped the drink. His actions were always natural, that somehow always made me felt something tingle inside me. Everything he did to me seemed right. It made me feel mad for unknown reason.

“Yeah, I do feel jealous. You have taken away Jaejoong from me. So, what do you say?” Yoochun grinned foolishly.

“Oh, my bad. I don’t notice you actually care about that. Then should I return him to you, but you have to return back my Junsu.” Yunho said with a sudden serious tone.

Yoochun and I fell into silence. Yunho let out a soft chuckle after a moment, breaking the sudden awkward atmosphere that just started lingering around us.

“That’s just a joke, man. Don’t look all serious.” Yunho chuckled and Yoochun cursed under his breath before he also laughed at his own stupid reaction. But I couldn’t even laugh along as those words seemed carrying something in them.

What was with that statement just now? Even thought it was just a joke… I looked at Yunho. This man sometime could be indecipherable.

“By the way Yunho, I’ve just asking Jaejoong to join Junsu and me this weekend. We’re going to ski resort, there is a rea