Jeonghan doesn't know how did they end up like this. What's even worse is he doesn't even remember why Seungcheol is padding back and forth their apartment, picking up things he owns and shoving them all inside his bag. Jeonghan winced when the man just silently  his black controller into his luggage and then pulled it out again before placing it gingerly on the tabletop, maybe remembering that Jeonghan bought it for him and it was never his in the first place.

The blond did put up a fight. Damn, he did all he can to justify his actions to Seungcheol, even enumerated to the man each of his every frustrastions but everything was futile. An hour ago, he was frantic and in hysterics, waving his hands in all sort of directions as he shouted to Seungcheol because he knew Seungcheol would console him. He expected the man to wrap his arms around him and say that everything was okay; reassure him that they're okay, because the last time they had a fight, his Seungcheol had him pinned against the wall and unraveled him like a book. It was so good, Seungcheol left Jeonghan incoherent and trembling, reminding him what he would be missing if he lets go.

His Seungcheol.

What he didn't expect is for Seungcheol to blink back tears, hold his ground firm although Jeonghan saw how he flinched, and say, "Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should end all of this" when Jeonghan implied a break up.

He's not his Seungcheol anymore.

It was at this moment that Jeonghan realized Seungcheol had already given up on him even if the man still hasn't put up a fight yet and it was a silent kill; the kind which made Jeonghan stand in the middle of their apartment, eyes following Seungcheol as he packed up his things, at 2 am. Maybe he was too edgy; too pushy; too much of everything at once. He admitted he was always the annoying one, always the one Seungcheol had to take care of.

"Seungcheol.." Jeonghan croaked, voice hoarse from all the shouting. He did not want all of this.

The other froze from roaming the house, shoulders hunched and even if the raven didn't turn around to look at Jeonghan, the latter can imagine the bags under Seungcheol's eyes screaming big bold exhaustion.

"Don't worry, I'll be out by 3:00 or 4:00 am. Go get some rest."

Maybe he was already exhausted with Jeonghan.

Silence swallowed them.

Or maybe this was karma, coming back around thrice the force Jeonghan had done years ago.

He met Seungcheol when they were still in high school. Jeonghan was a student assistant in the library and Seungcheol was a frequent, not that he was the studious type. He wasn't. In fact, he was the total whole opposite. Seungcheol was the school's soccer varsity team captain, as cliché as it seems, always clad in that jacket Jeonghan thought was too cramped for him but it hugged his arms sinfully so he doesn't really have a complain over it. The only reason why he was a regular inside the said premise was because of one person: Hong Joshua.

Hong Joshua was the exchange student from L.A: goal-oriented, persistent and always the goody-two-shoes. The man was the epitome of sophistication, from his latest IQ rate to how he handled stress well, considering the fact that he wasn't in his home soil.

He can still remember how he got acquainted with the two. Seungcheol's voice that was too deep for a man who looks like a puppy was still tattooed in the back of his mind when the raven borrowed a book, which Jeonghan can still clearly recite the title: "Art of the 20th Century, Jean-Louis Ferrier, 1999". Every little detail that involved Seungcheol is itched into his mind and back then, he didn't even know why.

"You like paintings?" Jeonghan, out of sheer curiosity, asked as he was punching the book code into the computer.

Seungcheol shrugged, bordering nonchalance. "Kinda. That's nothing really. Just a book to gaze on while I wait for Joshua."

"For an athlete like you, it's a surprise."

Seungcheol laughed, teeth showing and eyes crinkling so adorable Jeonghan had to take in a gush of breath, inconspicuously. "I'm actually taking Fine Arts for college, maybe double degree on Physical Education."

"That'sㅡ"