05 || eighteen

˝No,˝ Bin said determinately as Chanwoo knocked on his window at eleven pm (he refused to use doors whenever he was about to do something irresponsible) with a grin on his face and a six pack in his hand. Although there was no way Chanwoo could hear him he rolled his eyes and knocked once again. Not wanting the knocking to continue and possibly alert somebody from his family as to what was going on Bin opened the window.

˝Finally.˝ Chanwoo had one of those smiles on his face. The obviously fake ones that somehow still managed to make Bin feel like he was standing on top of a frozen lake. ˝I thought I was going to freeze.˝

Before Bin could come up with a decent answer Chanwoo leaned in. For one foolish moment Bin let himself hope that Chanwoo would keep leaning in until their lips touched. Instead Chanwoo whispered, ˝Let’s go before we get caught and your parents start to hate me.˝

They had settled on a bench in their usual park and after some coaxing Bin had grabbed a beer.  The first half of it tasted decent but as he got closer to reaching the can’s bottom the drink only got bitterer. Bin thought about how it might be some kind of a metaphor for something. Then again Bin might have just been a lightweight who was getting drunk of a single beer.

˝You’re quiet,˝ Chanwoo noted. Bin hummed hoping it would be enough for his friends. It wasn’t. ˝You’ve been quiet the last couple of days.˝

Bin wouldn’t have been quiet if Chanwoo hadn’t been loud about leaving after they finished high school. He never specified where or for what, only that he would leave. Bin couldn’t blame him for wanting to escape his home life which seemed to get worse with each passing day. Yet a part of him couldn’t help but latch onto the lack of him in those plans.

No we’ll see each other.

No we’ll go to the same university.

No we can move in together after we finish high school.

No I like you more than a friend.

Not even a lousy I’ll stay in touch.

It angered Bin in every way imaginable and with some alcohol in his system as a perfect excuse to finally open his mouth about what was bothering him Bin said, ˝You only talk about leaving.˝

Chanwoo turned so he could look at Bin. The look of pure confusion on his face almost made Bin take back his words but they were out; hanging uncomfortably between them as Chanwoo opened and closed his mouth twice trying to answer. Bin stood perfectly still, trying to catch the slightest change in Chanwoo’s expressions but there was nothing other than bewilderment. Had he really not noticed what he had been saying and how it had affected Bin? He didn’t really want to think about it but before he could take his accusation back Chanwoo began speaking.

˝I never noticed it. I mean…I know I talk about it but…˝ he ran a hand thru his hair in order to move it out of his eyes or to avoid eye contact. Bin couldn’t tell and it didn’t matter to him at that moment. He was only interested in what Chanwoo was going to say. ˝It’s just what I…it’s what I think will make me feel happier. Mom and dad are only getting worse and I physically can’t take it anymore. It doesn’t mean I’ll forget everybody I just don’t want to spend every day walking on eggshells hoping I won’t have to listen to my parents fight over every unimportant little thing.˝

Bin had no answer for that. That didn’t mean he should have started leaning in. In his defense Chanwoo wasn’t shying away.

Bin didn’t know what would happen to them when they separated and he couldn’t bring himself to care as he deepened the kiss.

{A/N:}

I’m sorry for the long wait but the exam period had started and I’ve been busy with that but I think I’ll be able to update my stories more now. If you want to keep it touch with me for some reason you can find me on tumblr where I waste most of my time instead of studying.