When I got up I realized I wasn't at Namjoon's place, in fact, I was in a hospital room, I felt someone holding my hand. I wanted to get up but I couldn't. The lack of sleep said its words, but I turned my head to see Jimin, he was sleeping.

I felt my heart raising I wanted to pull my hand off of his grip, as I tried I woke him up

"Hyung!!"

"Jimin why are you here?"

Then it hit me I fainted when I saw him at Namjoon's.

"Jimin please leave me.."

'No don't please don't leave me Jiminnie' my heart was screaming I didn't listen to it, I couldn't ...

"What, why?? Jin I want to help you!"

"You ...You hate me, you should leave just like everyone else...GO .....DONT TURN AROUND.... I should have been gone by now anyways..

 I needed him to back off if he wasn't the one doing it I should do it then I believed if I told myself that I hated him it would be easier for me to forget him.

"Jinnie....I don't hate you...actually, no I hate to see that you give up so easily... I hate to see you fall down, I want to-

" STOP IT...CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING... IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME PLEASE TELL ME ....HOW TO CARRY ON......HOW JIMIN ...I can't ing sleep... I'm a cutter ....drug addicted piece of garbage-

"YOU NEED TO STOP ...YEAH MAYBE AND SO WHAT ....I've watched .....how your world fell down ...it hurt me Jin ..it hurt to see how you, the pure happiness fell apart little by little ...I know you are so far down ..but you will survive it I believe in you...Jin I want the sunshine you were to come back"

"Jimin....just go away"
With that my eyes closed, I  tried so hard not to cry,  I wanted him to leave before I did
Because I was sure that he'll come back if he sees me crying.

The moment he left my head started hurting, the voices became louder, and my vision blurry.

I wanted to sleep...and never come back... There wasn't anyone who cared about me....why should I...keep trying

I was holding a note and standing on top of a building.

The note I was holding was addressed to Jimin

'Dear Park Jimin, 
I'm sure that when you read this I'll probably be dead...I don't want you to cry for me ...ha-ha I'm just kidding you I know you won't...anyway I wanted to tell you ..how much you mean to me, you were the first person who actually gave a about me until the very end.. I remembered your words until the very end ...the words that kept me so many years...thank you for making me feel emotions other than hate, loneliness, and sadness...I remember how you called me selfish ...because I didn't care how you felt ..but I always did, I wanted you to be happy ..I said I'll stay longer with you, didn't I do it ...sorry I tried my best..well I guess I should have stayed a little longer...but in the end it doesn't matter. I tried so hard Jimin ...just because of you... I remember what you said in the hospital ...that I wasn't trying hard enough and that I had the strength to do so....tell me ..even if I had it how could I have changed my life ... I didn't study, the moment I got a job they fired me...I couldn't stop the drugs....I couldn't stop the voices in my head ....only you could, but I pushed you away ...I pushed my feelings ....I wanted to listen to my heart ...but I was scared ...scared that you'll leave me, I wanted you only to be happy I still want to ..that's why I'm doing this ...I love you Park Jimin.. I always will. I hope someday you find the real love and grow old .. I want you to be all wrinkled and with naturally gray hair when you die... You know... I'm sorry I'm bad at expressing feelings..Im sure you got it ...
Bye bye Jiminnie

Seokjin'

I put the note on the ground and put a rock on top of it so it won't fly away...maybe I should have put it in his post box ...whatever ...as I was about to jump someone hugged me from behind.

"Why....why don't you stop already... WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME"

I didn't want to turn around I perfectly knew who it was the touch and the voice....I could never mistake them

"Hey bud, sup?"

"Kim ing Seokjin are you ting me right now"

I could hear his sobs and feel how my shirt was wet from his tears ...his hands were holding me so tightly ..I tried to escape his grip but I couldn't ...nah I didn't want to ....I turned around.

"I'm sorry"

"You're sorry....you're sorry you say ...ha-ha ARE YOU ING INSANE WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ....don't you remember-

His face started melting, black started dripping from his mouth and eyes, his voice... It was like someone was pulling out his voice strings it was horrible. Then I jumped from the building while falling I heard him...his normal voice. just like all my nightmares .

" Seokjinnie I love you"

That's when I woke up Covered in sweat again... I turned around and saw a pink, what looks like, letter.

I reached out to grab it.

I opened it...

'Dear Jinnie,

Maybe I should say Hyung because the whole letter will be disrespectful towards you ....Jin namjoon told me...that you are in love with me ......do you think i could love you...after what you did..to Yoongi..do you think I could love some drug-addicted -

Tears started forming under my eyes. I realized he's right so I stopped.. I knew it wasn't a good idea to read it...I'm so dumb...