I was just staying on top of some random bridge cutting my wrists as usual .. I didn't really care for anything, I stopped a while ago ..the normal life you'd expect a teenager to have ..you know girls, video games, parents, parties well I haven't had those problems ... except for the parents part.

We all lived in a big house I enjoyed my life until my mother snapped one day. You know, she had that psycho in her, just like everyone else, you just need something to unlock it. So yeah, lets start from the very beginning..my brother..his life was, well neither bad nor good basically he had a girlfriend which was his childhood friend they lived happily blah blah so he wanted to propose to her thinking she won't rejected him, he prepared so they could party afterwards but to his surprise, she rejected him, actually I wasn't surprised at all, and of course like the human he is he couldn't take it and killed himself ...that's when my mom snapped she never was the same again, so she was paranoid, she thought she was responsible for my brother's death, she started cutting, my family was going down I didn't think anything can become worse or be fixed.

Eventually, I started school. Kids picked up on me because I was weird for them because it was a small village everyone knew everyone so they knew about my brother, mother, and father. Not that I couldn't fight back I just wasn't interested in doing so. As a second kid my parents didn't care for me as much but did I care..naah, not at all, I had the world in my hands.. Because no one cared about me, my grades and my future, I spent all my time outside in the woods ..so my family became more of a mess because of me, my father said I was responsible so I needed to fix , meh I didn't really understand then what I needed to do and of course I dropped it.

My mom was suicidal she tried multiple times to kill herself but my father was always there to save her.. Until one day my teacher called home because I wasn't going to school and that's when started. There was no one who could have saved mom so she just died, she hanged herself. When me and my father got home we saw her hanging from the tree in front of our house, now, as I said we lived in a small village there weren't many people around the area not to say that if there were any they would have been working at that hour so no one could've seen or helped her, man don't ask me how she did it by herself, its mystery to me to that day, my father went screaming. 
"It's all because of you ...why were you even born..if you don't care why do you even bother living"

His voice...I could hear it..in my head every day, night, whatever time of the day 'it's all because of you..DIE' I started having nightmares, my father became alcoholic, at night I could hear him screaming I never bothered listening, he was abusive as well...if I didn't do as he says the moment he says it he would beat me, actually no he did it for fun. The money we had saved ....he spends on alcohol he didn't buy any proper food I could cook, but all he ever bought was that instant noodle or bread once in a while. I went to school all beaten up. His routine was he would beat me at night the most, he would fill the sink with cold water and put ice in it and shove my face in the cold water so my face wouldn't be so bruised in the next morning, I couldn't fight back, of course, he was stronger than me, I tried escaping off of his grip because he would always hold me so long, you know I need to breathe.

So one day, because of his screams and my nightmares I couldn't sleep, ..it was a week now because I was so exhausted I accidentally fell asleep in class. The teachers could see my beaten face and my bruised body when we had PE and needed to change clothes, also the dark circles under my eyes, it was clear that I didn't sleep enough. They thought I was just fighting with other boys, and stayed up late at night, so their smart asses decided to call my dad instead of talking with me. When I got home...
"KIM SEOKJIN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN"
I was just entering when his hand went straight to my neck I could smell....he was drunk again
"GOING INTO FIGHTS EH??"
"No dad, it was because of you, they saw my beaten face ........it's your fault 'dad' "
And this is the next part I really messed up because he was now going to do something ...I couldn't have imagined he would...
He pulled up my shirt 
"So.....is it my fault ....son..... Is it my fault that your beautiful face is beaten up .......is it my fault that it has those purple and yellowish bruises eh...IS IT MY FAULT THAT YOUR MOTHER IS ING DEAD EHHH??!!!!"
With my shirt he tied my hands ....he threw me on the couch I tried escaping but I couldn't ....he grabbed me way too fast I cried, I cried so hard when he finally stopped he went out I couldn't move ....my own father .... me.

I fainted, the same nightmare of him ...doing those messed up things to me again and again until I woke up. Thankfully he wasn't going home that night so I went in my room. I locked the door and went in the shower. The water was cold I stayed, with the water falling down on my face maybe an hour now, I decided to go out I sat on my bed, usually I'd hear in my head my father's screaming but this time I heard my voice, something was off, there was a burning sensation for a second, I spaced out and when I came back I was in the middle of the hallway with a knife in my hand. Something bad was going on with me, I knew it, but I dropped it again...

OK so now back to the present, that's why I was cutting on top of that bridge I ran from home, it became more and more of a hell he stopped going out so he can or beat me until I fainted. Little by little I stopped giving a , I still had those voices which even now are mumbling something.

Cut by cut, my arms and legs were full of scars. I stopped and let the blood flow as I took a cigarette out of my pocket ...It was a weed. Just the moment I put it in my mouth someone took it and grabbed my hand.
"Bro, do you ing mind??"

"Hey to you too.. What are you doing Jinnie?"

At first, I couldn't remember him -short kid with dark hair and the cutest smile you could imagine. His eyes sparkled, while mine were dull red and full of sadness.

"Um do I know you cutie"

"Yah stupid I'm- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"

His eyes went through my cuts.

"Jinnie what happened to you...those cuts, where's your smile, what happened to your handsome face, it's all beaten up"

"Why do you give a I don't even know who you are"

"Ah yes I forgot, Park Jimin, your childhood friend"

And then my eyes widened and tears started rolling I remembered him he was the one who always helped me, even though his parents had told him to stay away from me and my father, I remembered him... I ...but I'm different now how can I cry over a friend who I met accidentally ..I didn't cry on my mom and brother's  funeral. My own family. So many things happen in front of my eyes, the my father made me go through, I cried only the first time.

I had spaced out again. When I got back to normal I found myself wrapped around the boy's little but muscular body his shoulder was wet from my tears, I felt some kind of emotion, I haven't in years...his smell... He smelled like strawberries... I buried my face in his neck and started crying louder, I held him so tight..he hugged me back... That's when I remembered.. I was in love with that boy.