It was now nine, I was waiting for Namjoon to come.

Namjoon.. I met him in a fight....I was versus a guy called yoongi...I accidentally killed him...OK OK it wasn't by accident he knew Jimin... He was his boyfriend. You know I shouldn't be talking like this I ing killed a person and gave no s at all.

So it went something like this:

Something wasn't right the burning sensation I felt when I was with my father hit me again..my vision went black when I came back to normal I was on top of his lifeless body. There was blood running from his head... his face ....It was all messed up. I thought what jealousy could make me do and I felt disgusting I wasn't any better than my father.

Someone pulled me aside from his body and started dragging me out of the building we were while doing so I saw Jimin on top of Yoongi he was screaming he was watching me straight in the eye while we were exiting, it was like he wanted to kill me... My heart started to hurt. 

I hoped he didn't recognize me and it looked like it until this morning when he saw me on the bridge.

The person who took me out of the building was still running with me I was on his shoulder.

"Hey hey you can let me go.......HEY!"

"Shut up! Are you processing what you did... do you realize in what deep you are..."

"Yah and so what..my whole life is one deep ing ."

"Don't play the victim, Seokjin."

"Who the are you and how do you know my name?!"

"Kim Seokjin -20years old, brother: dead; mother: insane, dead; father: abusive, . You lived with your grandma: dead; crush on Par-"

"Okay, okay Sherlock calm your down... Where are we going?"

"At my place."

"What, why?"

"Well do you have anywhere to go, I remind you that you just killed somebody?"

"We can't be sure if he is actually dead...."

"Well, I don't know he looked like a train had hit him."

"Damnit it did, didn't he....whatever ...what's your name?"

"Kim Namjoon. And it's not 'whatever' "

"Sure..."

I started living with him, he was drugdealer so for me it was perfect I just needed to be his and he'll feed me and provide me drugs. He was rich, man....the house we lived in was so damn big ...

I got tired of being his ...actually, no, I never did, because I fell in love with him, but he left me...and I promised myself I'd never fall in love, simple as that.

"I won't leave you Jin, at least I'm not planning to," he said ...as he faded away and I never saw him. I didn't try searching him... I guess it wasn't a big deal.

Falling in love with him was a mistake, so kids don't put your life into someone's hands because they will steal it away, yes I heard it in a song whatcha gonna do about it.

"HEY JIN!!"

I heard him screaming snapping me again from my thoughts

"Bro ....do you ing mind so damn late...its ing 9:30!!?"

"Cmon don't be such a Jinnie."

"Well that's why you called me, isn't it?"

" Yeah....and no ...look I'm here to help you .. Jin I know you have nowhere to go and you don't have money for food and drugs. I need you Jin... "

"You need me only for can't you find some random , same ??"

"No Jin I tried ...its ..I don't know it's just not the same. Also the " I want to help you part" what are you deaf"

"You are insane..what you appear from nowhere telling me you want to help me and think I'll just say 'yes' ??"

''Well ......yes ''

'''Damnit you know me well."

I accepted, I didn't love him anymore and I won't ...never again I didn't really know why I fell in love with him ...maybe because he was the only one who helped me back there. He's helping me now, I don't have any other options so why not. Don't you dare say about the 'falling in love because he helped me' part...wont happen again.

"Shall we go"

"Yah sure"

We ended up spending the whole night talking.. He had changed, he cared now usually he ed me and then left somewhere. Ha-ha, I'm ing with you...he didn't care. We didn't talk I fell asleep while he was out.

On the other day when I woke up he still wasn't home, that didn't surprise me, not at all, I spent the day watching TV, eating, smoking and I even got drunk. When he got home he was drunk as well

"Hey ...sup?"

"Yo.. Let's go "

"Nhwhat?"

" JIN LETS GO"

I followed him, when we reached his room he pinned me on the wall and started kissing me roughly. After a while, he backed off a little and started to bite my neck I swear I could feel blood running down. I didn't like his touch, it was rough and painful he smelled like alcohol.

"Ah, jj-

" Jin did you say something "

"Ah ...n-no"

'What were you thinking' I thought but then ... I could hear Jimin's voice again in my head.

"Jinnie why...
I know you don't want it...
Be with me Jinnie"

I pushed Namjoon off of me.

"What now??"

"Nh-nothing.. I thought... Never mind"

He threw me on the bed.. I didn't like it, my..... Memories Of my father ...he, his grip was the same .. Tears again started falling down my cheeks.

Namjoon could feel and taste them...I could so it was impossible for him not to as well. He undressed me and himself, and didn't let go...every touch felt like burned ..I felt disgusting but I didn't stop I didn't push him because I knew where I would end if I don't do as he wishes.

My vision was blurry the whole time, I started keeping my eyes shut because only then I could see his smile ...it was unreal his dark hair, black yet sparkly eyes, and his plump pink lips ....every time I sniffed the smell of in the room I tried to remember his sweet strawberry scent.

I woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. 'Nightmares...again ...won't they stop jeez' I thought to myself. I turned to see Namjoon, he was sleeping.

I went to the bathroom, my body was sticky and sweaty so I took a shower. I stayed there for about an hour I thought about Jimin, how he was on top of that Yoongi guy, I saw his wet face and heard his screams again and again.

"Jin? ....are you alright?"

"Yah I'm .....just..taking a shower why"

"I'll be going out"

"Wait, Namjoon I want to talk to you"

"Okay I'll be waiting in the living room"

I grabbed some clothes and went downstairs

"Hey what's up?"

"Well, I wanted to-

*ding dong*

"Damn, nice timing...."

As Namjoon opened the door I heard it ...I'm sure I did ...I can't mistake that voice, Ji-

"Oh.. Hi Jimin ....what brings you here"

"I need your help to find someone"

"Um okay go in"

'I...what should I do now Jimin will ....he' my heart started raising my breath stopped, it was really him.

"J-jin. ..what, how.."

As I was staring at him everything went black ....I fainted again.