Jiyeon was making a packet of ramen at four in the morning when Jihoon trudged inside, looking exhausted. “You have school in the morning,” he groaned.

She gave him a confused and exasperated look. “Oppa, it's Saturday, and I don't have work until two today.”

“Then why are you still up?” He asked.

She shrugged. “I was waiting for you.” She stirred the ramen a few times before pouring it out into two bowls, each with half of a packet of noodles. “Here.”

At first he refused. “Jiyeon-ah, you have to eat.”

“So do you,” she said stubbornly. “Eat or I don’t.”

Jihoon grumbled a little more before taking the bowl and getting a pair of chopsticks, ignoring the happy and smug grin on his dongsaeng’s face. “Yah, so disrespectful,” he muttered without any heat as the two moved to sit on the sofa Jihoon slept on at night. Jiyeon hid her smile behind her bowl, but she was sure her brother caught it, even if he didn’t comment on it.

“How was work?” She said finally. “Did anyone call you cute?”

He shook his head. “Not that many, surprisingly. Most of the customers were regulars, so they only make that mistake once. Liked my work though, even if all their song suggestions were terrible and abhorrent.”

She laughed as he took a large bite. Regardless of what he told her, Jihoon was starving. He always was, but he put that aside time after time so that she could have a full breakfast for school and a decent dinner after her studies. She wasn’t unaware of all the sacrifices her older brother had made for her over the years: she just didn’t know how to repay him.

“Well, that’s good,” she said. “So, all in all, a good shift?”

Jihoon nodded before lifting the bowl to slurp the broth. Jiyeon’s already finished, famished from waiting for him to come home. Before she could stand, Jihoon grabbed her bowl. “Go to sleep, Jiyeon-ah. I’ll wash the dishes.”

Knowing better than to resist (she never wins,) Jiyeon headed to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. After wishing her brother good night, she climbed the narrow, steep stairs to the loft, and collapsed on the ratty mattress, drifting immediately to sleep.

“Jiyeon-ah!” A familiar chorus of voice greeted her as she approached the table.

She smiled. “Hello, oppas.”

For the past two weeks, Joshua had been visiting the café at least once a day, sometimes with his friends Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Junhui, sometimes by himself. He always came towards the end of the lunch rush, but before the afternoon tea, so she alway had time to spend her lunch break with him and whoever he brings with him.

Today, it’s Wonwoo and Junhui who are sitting opposite Joshua. “What do you guys want to order?” She asked.

“We need one order of kimchi jjigae for me, one order of gamjatang for Wonwoo, one order of yukgaejang for Junhui, and whatever you’re having,” Joshua listed easily.

She couldn’t help but snort a little. Joshua was always trying to pay for her food. She had told him time after time again that she had no intention of letting him pay for her food, especially when she had a nice coworker like Mingyu, but he never listened. “Okay, I’ll put the order in.”

Joshua didn’t know how much happier she has been because of him. It wasn’t like he instantly brought color to her life and now she couldn’t bear to be without him (she wasn’t that naive and sappy) but she just... he just made life a little bit more worth living for. She was still reserved around him, still slightly wary of him, but he still made her (hesitantly) happy. She was just afraid of it being temporary.

Mingyu easily picked up on her patrons’ identities as after she relayed the order, he grinned at her. “Is the handsome one with your Joshua?”

She frowned at him. “First off, he’s not my Joshua. I’m not interested in him romantically. He’s just Joshua, my friend,” Although, that in and of itself was a major feat for her. “Secondly, I have no idea who the ‘handsome one’ is if they’re all handsome.”

“You know, the one with the dark hair, and the cold gaze that just cuts through steel, and the bland face that somehow looks good on him because he’s handsome?” Mingyu listed immediately, eyes bright.

She spluttered. “Wha-How- Min-Mingyu, how do you know what Wonwoo looks like? You’re always in the kitchen!”

“I may have peeked,” he shrugged, clearly shameless. “He’s so handsome.”

“That’s not creepy,” she deadpanned. “Make sure you don’t get distracted daydreaming about him and drop anything.”

“Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully. “Do you want me to make you some jjajangmyeon?”

“Please,” she nodded. “Joshua-oppa is still trying to buy my food.”

“Why don’t you just let him, then?” Mingyu asked, continuing to cook. “I mean, our jjajangmyeon isn’t that expensive. It wouldn’t be a big deal to let him pay once.”

“If I do it once, he’ll never let me hear the end of it. It’s a pride thing.” She said dismissively. It wasn’t the entire truth. She refused to let him pay because she had money, albeit not as much as others. At heart, though, she knew that it was because she still didn’t fully trust him. Granted, he had put in more effort than people before, but the initial rush was always the strongest. If she kept him at a distance for long enough, he would eventually get tired of her, and then life would go back to normal.

The only issue was that she was starting to believe that she didn’t want that to happen. It was starting to be a problem.

“Jiyeon-ah?” She started again when Mingyu’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Are you okay? You’ve been daydreaming a lot more lately.”

She shook her head. “I’m good. Just been a weird couple of weeks.”

“Okay,” he conceded, though he didn’t seem the least bit convinced.

Biting her lip, Jiyeon turned away from Mingyu, quickly getting out of his sight. She hadn’t been lying. It had been a weird couple of weeks. It had been hard to incorporate Joshua into her life, harder than she had let on to others. It was especially hard when her brother got involved: Every time she brought him up--careful not to call Joshua by name to avoid suspicion--he shot her down, still angry and refusing to talk about him in any way. She had never had to really hide something from her brother: she trusted him with her life, and vice versa. To have to hide Joshua, who had started to brighten her day... it was hard. She couldn’t tell Jihoon about all the funny antics Joshua and his friends got up to in the café, she couldn’t tell him about the Kakao messages she and Joshua would send to each other while Jihoon was at work. It was like Joshua was her dirty secret, and with every passing day she felt guiltier as her skepticism of the catlike adult lessened.

She shook her head. Now wasn’t the time. She had a job to do. Thankfully it was less crowded, so she wasn’t slacking that much.

When Joshua’s table’s food was ready, she easily carried the tray over to them, setting their food down gracefully before heading back to the kitchen to both return the tray and officially take her lunch break. Returning to the table, she slid into the empty seat next to Joshua (the empty seat was always next to Joshua) with her food.

“How’s work been, Jiyeon-ah?” Joshua asked.

She shrugged, taking a bite of her noodles. “It’s been good. Nothing too special.”

“No funny accidents?” Junhui asked. “No one slip and fall and get caught by a handsome stranger?”

“Ha ha, very funny, it’s not like I can’t hit you or anything,” she rolled her eyes, ignoring Junhui’s squawk about respect and age in the midst of Wonwoo’s deep chuckles. “No, nothing like that.” Then she remembered Mingyu. “Actually, one of the chefs, Mingyu, asked about you, Wonwoo,” she said, looking straight at the man in question.

“Me?” He asked. “Why did he ask about me?”

“I bet it’s because his eyes scream ‘bad boy’ and that won over this Mingyu’s heart,” Joshua joked, nudging Jiyeon as he spoke. She snorted.

“No way, I’m more attractive, and I definitely have a better smolder than Wonwoo,” Junhui interrupted, looking rather offended, although it was softened by the playful tone to both his expression and his words.

“Well, that’s not what Mingyu thought,” Wonwoo retorted, glancing in the general direction of the kitchen.

“How does Mingyu know who Wonwoo is, anyway?” Junhui asked, turning to face Jiyeon again.

“He gave a description,” Jiyeon answered.

“So how does he know it’s him? Maybe he was describing me all along!” Junhui exclaimed. “I mean, beautiful and attractive automatically goes to me, right?”

“I have to disagree there, Junhui, I think we all fit that description,” Joshua teased.

Junhui was starting to pout even more, so, like the teasing dongsaeng she was, Jiyeon piped up, “I have to agree. He didn’t use the words ‘beautiful’ and ‘attractive’ anyway, otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to tell.”

“Then what did he describe?” Joshua asked.

She had to think a bit, because her minor mental monologue was right after her talk with Mingyu, but eventually, she remembered. “He said something about... cold eyes... and a bland face that looked good, I think. Something about a blank or bland expression that works.”

Wonwoo’s face was both affronted and pleased. “I can’t tell whether to be happy that it’s me or offended that he thinks my face is bland.”

“Both works,” Junhui said, face smug. “You’re a stone wall that just happens to also look good.”

Jiyeon held back her smile, though Junhui did burst out laughing at the fully offended look on Wonwoo’s face. Beside her, she heard Joshua laugh quietly, though he hid it and his smile behind a hand.

“Look at those two,” Junhui commented suddenly, “looking all gentlemanly and ladylike.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she stated, genuinely confused. Hadn’t she just insulted the two of them, both of whom were older than her? She was sufficiently polite, yes, but she also was the younger sister and ward of her older brother, who had cursed out the actual gentleman of this group. “You’ve heard what brother did to Joshua-oppa, and yet you still call me a lady?”

“Just because he’s your older brother doesn’t mean you’re exactly like him,” Joshua pointed out, not hurt in the slightest. Not that he had been in the first place.

Not meeting their eyes so they wouldn’t see the childish sassiness on her face, Jiyeon frowned at her food. “Yeah, well he’s not just my brother, he’s my gu-” she cut herself off with a sharp intake of breath. Her chopsticks fell from her slack fingers as she realized what she’d almost done. She had almost told them that Jihoon was her guardian. She had been so close to telling them what her living situation was like. Big no no. That meant they were very close, and she promised herself she’d never let someone other than Jihoon get that close. When had she gotten so close to these people anyway? How hadn’t she noticed? Why had she let her guard down?

“Jiyeon-ah, are you okay?” Joshua asked. Everyone at the table was staring at her in concern, but she couldn’t bring herself to care (in actuality, she couldn’t let herself care).

Sliding out of the booth, she grabbed her half empty plate. “I have to get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow, Joshua-oppa.” The term oppa dropped from her lips like lead and burned her tongue as it left her lips. Suddenly, she felt shut off, as if a brick wall had slammed down between her and Joshua, cutting him off from approaching her. It was like she had reverted back to who she was before Joshua came back into her life, and all of sudden she felt cold.

Without another word, she her heel and retreated to the kitchens.

She had another waiter take their table while she busied herself with other tasks, and when she clocked out at the end of her shift, Joshua wasn’t waiting for her at the entrance.

The walk home never felt so empty.

When she returned home, Jihoon was sitting at the computer, working on a new track. “Oppa,” she greeted, the word coming much more naturally now that it was directed at someone worthy of the honorific, “why aren’t you at work?”

“Apparently this really famous DJ wanted to host tonight, and paid me three times the amount of money I’d earn a night to not come in today,” Jihoon’s words were both lighthearted and scathing. “Not complaining, but why do the people with money spend it wastefully?”

“We need one order of kimchi jjigae for me, one order of gamjatang for Wonwoo, one order of yukgaejang for Junhui, and whatever you’re having.”

Joshua’s words came flying back, and she shuddered as she tried to lock it away. “Because the people with money don’t value its worth. They always want to spend it on something that won’t last because it won’t last.” The words were free and bitter, and she could tell that her older brother was caught off guard by it.

“Did you have a bad day at work?” He asked, worry written all over his face. She was his only weak spot, and sometimes she enjoyed it, and sometimes she despised it. Today was a despising sort of day.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said curtly. “I’m going to take a nap.”

She climbed up to the loft, sat on her bed, and began to unpack her bag. As she did, she noticed something was off. She checked and rechecked the contents of her bag just to make sure, and then held in a groan. Another thing to go wrong today: her wallet was missing. It had to have fallen out at work while she was leaving, so she wasn’t too worried about it, but she still hoped that it hadn’t fallen into the wrong hands. Her ID was in there, and while she didn’t have a lot of money, it was still enough to them that it would be sorely missed.

She desperately needed that nap. A reset would be great.

She woke up to Jihoon’s harsh voice.

“What the hell are you doing here? How’d you know where I lived? Is this some stupid plan to apologize? Get out of here!” There was the sound of a minor scuffle as Jihoon presumably tried to shove the intruder out.

She sat upright, almost slamming her head on the ceiling. Someone was trying to break in. Someone was trying to hurt her, hurt Jihoon. No. Anyone but her brother. Anyone but the only person she needed in her life. She threw the blankets aside, rushing towards the staircase without hitting her head.

“No, wait, I have--hold on.” She froze. She knew that voice. Scrambling down the staircase (and hitting her head on the ceiling,) she rushed to the doorway, where Jihoon was still trying to push the intruder out the door.

“Joshua?” Everyone stilled.

Jihoon stopped trying to shove the him out the door and turned to her, face full of confusion and betrayal. “You know his name?”

Caught in her own trap, her eyes flickered between the two men as she shyly stepped backwards. “H-He, uh, apologized af-after you left,” she explained quietly. “He visits the café sometimes, and talks to me.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Jihoon’s eyes were blazing as he all but snarled the words.

She shook her head, gaining some resolve. “I tried, several times, oppa. You shot me down several times because you had a grudge against him. How was I supposed to tell you?”

Jihoon didn’t have an answer to that, and the way his mouth opened and closed was evidence of that. Behind him, Joshua was silent, probably realizing that this was more of a sibling fight and wasn’t getting involved.

Taking Jihoon’s silence as an answer, Jiyeon continued, “He helped you, and you hated him for it. He’s been so nice to me since we met, and he isn’t even mad that you yelled at him. I understand that we’re both short for... a lot of reasons,” her eyes dart to Joshua, aware that he’s in the room with them, “but you can’t take it out on everyone you meet, especially if you know they aren’t trying to belittle you, literally.”

Jihoon apparently took a temporary vow of silence, so Jiyeon sighed and turned to Joshua, moving to both stand in front of him and block her brother from view. “Why are you here, again?”

“Oh, yeah, um,” Joshua fumbles with his pockets for a moment before he pulls out a familiar black leather wallet. “You left it at the table.”

Moving quickly, Jiyeon took it and shoved it in her own pockets before Jihoon could see what it was. “Thanks, Joshua-oppa.” Staring at him, she remembered the awkward way she had left them. “Look, I’m... sorry about today. I just...”

“I get it,” Joshua stopped her. “There’s just some things you don’t want to talk about. I’ll tell the others not to be so nosy.”

“Thank you,” she sighed, suddenly feeling immensely guilty. Here she was, trying to cut ties with a guy who was trying to be like an older brother figure to her in the best way possible. She felt her hastily built walls crumble again, and she let Joshua advance a little bit more. “I’ll try to let you know if you’re being too nosy from now on.”

“Okay,” The smile Joshua gives her was reassuring and very brotherly. She felt protected, and even though she was still a little scared--she has only known him and his friends for about two weeks--she still wanted to try.

She was tired of feeling like the world is just her and her brother.

“I’ll see you later,” she said, smiling back up at the gentleman.

He nodded, reaching out to ruffle her hair. “Okay, bye~” he turned and walked away without having stepped even three feet into the apartment.

She closed the door and turned to face her older brother, who was watching her with a strange look in his eyes. “What?” She asked, rather harshly.

“How... how long have you known Joshua-sshi?” He asked hesitantly, eyes darting away from her.

“Two weeks,” she replied. “We’ve been talking ever since you and I met him.” Sighing again, she said, “he’s so nice, Jihoon-oppa. And before you say anything, I know that two weeks isn’t a long time, and that I should be careful. I was careful. He doesn’t pry into my private life. He doesn’t know anything about our past. He asks about school, and what my favorite food is, my favorite color, my hobbies, things like that. He understands, oppa.”

“I see that,” Jihoon mimicked her sigh, only much heavier and guiltier. He moved to the sofa where he slept, Jiyeon following him. The two of them sat down, mentally preparing themselves for a long talk.

“He told me that first day we met that he knew we were going to be special to him. Both of us,” she said softly. “I’ve talked to him nearly every day since then, and he hasn’t done anything to prove me wrong. I’ve even met some of his closest friends. Some of whom I think you’d get along well with, others... not so much,” she chuckled to herself. “But what I’m getting at here is... I’m starting to feel lonely, oppa.”

He flinched, as if someone had hit him. It made her heart clench at the familiarity. Dark memories flooded her mind, and she had to work to push them away. Not again. She wouldn’t think of them ever again.

“I didn’t realize you felt that way,” Jihoon’s voice was somewhat broken, as if he was blaming himself for her misery. In fact, he probably was, and Jiyeon wanted to shut it down quick.

“It’s not your fault, Jihoon-oppa,” she reassured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I never realized I was unhappy with being so alone until Joshua started coming in every day to talk to me. It’s just...” she tried to find her words. “Our world just has the two of us, and for the longest time, I was okay with that. But eventually, our world needs to grow. We can’t just grow up and stay in this bubble forever, as much as I’d like to. As long as I still have you, I want to be friends with Joshua and his friends, and hopefully eventually make friends at my own school.”

“I understand,” he said quietly. “I can’t say I’ve been feeling lonely because I’m always surrounded by people who I hate but have to interact with and I’m always too busy to feel lonely, but I understand that you’re not me, and you’re the one who feels lonely.”

“So, you don’t mind me being friends with Joshua?” She asked tentatively, wanting clarification.

Slowly, he shook his head. “I don’t mind.” There was a long pause before he continued, “I’m just scared.”

“Me too,” she said softly, leaning back on the sofa. “My mind can’t stop thinking of scenarios where we could get hurt, and it terrifies me, but at the same time I want this more than ever. We needed to protect ourselves when we were just starting out, but we’ve gotten to the point where it isn’t enough anymore, at least for me. If I had to pick someone to let in, it would be Joshua. He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him. He’s genuinely interested in getting to know both you and me. If something bad happens because of it, well then we tried and then we can go back to hating the world together.”

“Okay,” Jihoon breathed.

She met Jihoon’s eyes, knowing that there was more to his response than what he was giving her. “Is that an ‘okay, I’ll try’ or an ‘okay I understand?’”

“It’s an ‘I understand, but I need to slowly adapt,’” Jihoon replied. “I just... I know how you’re feeling, and I think you’re right, but you know how I am. I’m wary of change, especially sudden ones like that,” he gestured to the doorway, where Joshua had exited a while back.

She rubbed her brother’s shoulder comfortingly. “Okay,” she said simply. “I know I sprung it on you so it seems sudden, but I had two weeks. You just have to catch up on your own pace. No need to rush.”

It wasn’t hard for her to understand that taking a step out into what had previously been dangerous territory for most of their respective childhoods required some time.

Their parents had truly messed with their minds, but maybe... Joshua was the key to healing all that damage.