Morning dawned with low-hanging clouds, the beacon of light shone through the window, filtering through Jinyoung’s eyelids as he started waking up. Falling asleep in the couch might not have been the best decision in hindsight as he felt the pain shoot up in his arms and neck the moment he tried getting up, and grunted at how stiff his whole body was. With everything that happened with Mark, he couldn’t bring himself to go back to his room. He had sat in the couch between their rooms withholding so many different emotions; emotions that he wasn’t even capable of understanding, but before he could even try, he gave in to his fatigue and dozed off.

He knew the older was in his room, hopefully sleeping but he knew that even if Mark wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t going to come out of his room. Not until Jinyoung left.

The sadness coursing through him was so enormous and overwhelming that he just wanted to lie down and think on how to make this all better. He didn’t want to hurt Mark. He didn’t want to be the reason for the elder’s tears and yet he was. He saw the effect of his words on Mark’s face. He saw the elder’s clouded eyes filled with pain looking at him with a strangled expression as if he got punched in the gut. He never knew Mark could look so wounded and never did he imagine that he would be the one making him look that way.

The guilt was eating him alive but what else could he do? Seeing Mark with Taehyung made him feel disgusted. There is no other way to put it. It felt so wrong that he could barely ponder what his reaction meant for Mark. Only when he started speaking his thoughts and saw Mark’s dejected face, did he realize the weight of his words. He just wanted things to go back as they were before. He had never seen this coming. He was so sure that Mark liked girls but his kiss with Taehyung rendered him speechless.

He left the apartment to go to practice even though he didn’t feel like singing or dancing. But then his job didn’t flow according to his mood.

Practice wasn’t going smoothly either. How could it when his mind was not with him? Mark’s crestfallen face kept flashing in his mind and he couldn’t keep up with the members. It didn’t take long for the members to figure out something was wrong but Jinyoung denied it every time they asked.

But what grabbed Jinyoung’s attention was that Jackson was just as down as him and he seemed to be avoiding him. While the members one of by one did come up to him to ask whether he was okay, Jackson ignored him completely.

‘Okay boys, let’s take a 10 minute break then come back to run this song again, alright?’ Jaebum half-announced and half-asked, smiling when his question was answered with the maknae’s loud cheers.

Jinyoung decided to use this time to talk to Jackson because something told him that his unusual behavior had something to do with Mark.

He followed Jackson outside the room, ignoring Jaebum’s worried glance on the way. He quickly reached him as Jackson decided to stop to get some water from the water dispenser.

‘Hey’

Jackson looked up as Jinyoung approached him, and instead of replying he just clenched his jaw, making Jinyoung even more confused as to why he was in the receiving end of his rage.

‘W-What’s wrong? Are you mad at me or something?’

Instead of replying, he just gulped down his water, turned around and resumed walking outside the building. Jinyoung followed immediately.

Once they were outside alone, Jackson exploded.

‘What the is wrong with you?!’

Jinyoung, startled, took a step back, eyes wide at Jackson’s sudden outburst. But his clueless expression seemed to make the older even angrier.

‘How could you do that to Mark?!’

Jinyoung’s eyes widened even more if that’s possible as he took in Jackson’s furious face while realizing that he knows. Jackson knows.

Jinyoung started stuttering, trying to formulate an answer that presented his thoughts but Jackson cut him off.

‘He trusted you more than he trusted any of us. Damn it Jinyoung don’t you see what you did?! He left because he thought no one would accept him and you proved him right!’

The guilt was very much there, but being questioned so harshly and put on the spot like this triggered his own anger.

‘Do you think I want to hurt him purposely? I left everything to live with him, not you guys!’ He yelled back, his frustration seeping into his words.

‘You went there to live with him to show that he is loved, he is wanted, he is accepted. Do you need me to tell you what a ty job you’ve done at that? Whatever faith he had in us, you’ve managed to kill it’

‘I didn’t mean to! I want the best for him too! I care for him as much as you do Jack-‘

‘Really you do? Are you sure about that Jinyoung? Cause’ your actions are seriously contradicting your words right now. He reveals his uality to you and you shut him off-‘

‘I didn’t shut him off! I’m trying to talk to him but he is not giving me a chance!’

‘What exactly should he give you a chance for? A lecture on how he should change his ual orientation? Man no one wants to hear that! No one should be hearing that. He doesn’t deserve this Jinyoung’

‘I just-’

‘Yo