A/N: Sorry about the late update. I lost access to my microsoft word and until I could buy it (while dealing with new kitten expenses among other things) I was on hiatus. Thank you for your patience <3

It was another two weeks before Kibum saw Jonghyun again. Much to his surprise, Jinki had approached him just after lunch and informed him that Jonghyun had asked for him personally – something that wasn’t unheard of when it came to patients, but in Jonghyun’s case, it was unusual. He’d never favoured a nurse before, and Kibum was still just an intern.

Stepping through the halls of Ward 2, a place that was gradually growing more familiar as time went on, Kibum headed towards Jonghyun’s door. He knocked gently before stepping inside, his eyes searching for the silvery fires that had covered the walls the last time he was there. They’d been scrubbed off at some point, leaving the walls as freshly blank as they’d been before. It was a shame, since Kibum had liked Jonghyun’s fiery walls.

Jonghyun himself was seated at his desk, his fork spearing at his mashed potatoes idly. A piece of paper next to him was smothered in flames from edge to edge. He’d even torn the paper in places to make it look like the page had burned away slightly. It looked amazing, Kibum admitted to himself. He once again imagined how much nicer it would be if Jonghyun had coloured pencils to draw with.

“You took your time,” Jonghyun said, leaving his fork speared in his mashed potatoes. The utensil perched upright for a moment before falling over under its own weight, landing with a dull clatter as the handle hit the edge of the meal tray.

“I came as soon as I was told you wanted to see me,” Kibum raised an eyebrow.

“Then that damned nurse is slow as usual. I asked her almost an hour ago.” He picked up his fork once more and returned to stabbing his potatoes. Kibum observed he’d eaten everything else on his plate. He made a mental note that Jonghyun wasn’t fond of the hospital’s mashed potatoes.

“Is everything okay?” Kibum asked, watching the fork aggressively stab into the potatoes again and again, each time with a dull clack.

“I don’t know,” Jonghyun said dully, letting to of the fork once more and folding his arms across his chest. “Is it?”

Confused, Kibum couldn’t help but blink and stare blankly for a moment. “What do you mean?” He finally asked.

“Yesterday I saw the psychologist,” Jonghyun huffed, eyeing Kibum in a rather probing manner. “He spent half of the session asking me about any suicidal thoughts I’d been having and why I wanted to jump in front of cars the day I started the fire.”

“Oh,” Kibum chewed the inside of his lip.

“Why did you report it?” Jonghyun demanded. “I was drugged stupid—I didn’t want that getting out and you went and reported it!”

“It’s my job, Jonghyun, I’m sorry.” Kibum felt his heart twist in his chest. “I put a note beside the information asking other doctors and nurses to not ask you about it. I circled it twice and underlined it. Jinki even approved it and signed beside it. I’m sorry the psychologist pestered you about it—I’ll make sure I talk to Jinki about it later. He ignored a doctor’s request.”

“Still—” Jonghyun groaned, pressing his hands to his face. “Do you know how hard it is to try to prove to people you’re sane? And now they think I’m crazy and suicidal! I’m never going to get out of here...”

Kibum’s shoulders slumped, his eyes looking away from Jonghyun and focusing on the bare walls that once bore chaotic flames. ‘What worries us most is that fire is his coping mechanism,’ Jinki’s words echoed.

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Kibum said quietly. “I think you’re someone who has been through too much – seen too much – and used a destructive element to make themselves feel better. But you never lit fires anywhere you couldn’t control it, could you? Except for that one time.”

Jonghyun shook his head, lowering his hands from his face. “That wasn’t the first time, but...that was the first time it got so badly out of control.”

Kibum pulled a chair over beside Jonghyun and sat down, taking a slow breath and letting it out. He knew Jonghyun was fragile right now, but Kibum knew he needed was someone who wouldn’t judge him.

“When was the first time?” Kibum asked.

Slowly, Jonghyun shook his head once more, going back to stabbing at his mashed potatoes again. “These potatoes are .” He mumbled tiredly.

Disheartened by the subject change, Kibum let out a short laugh. “They are,” he confirmed. “Real, genuine from a donkey’s .”

“I believe it,” Jonghyun snorted, pushing the tray away from himself.

“I can put in your notes to not bring you the mashed potatoes for lunch.”

“If that will stop people from trying to feed it to me, then please.”

Kibum smiled at that, nodding his head. “I will do my best.”

...

Kibum thought about Jonghyun a lot in the days that followed. He felt a little bad that he dwelled on him more than his regular patients, but he justified it with reminders that many of his patients had family to visit them, and countless other nurses who spent time with them. Jonghyun as far as he knew spent most of his time alone.

Unable to really help it, Kibum asked Jinki how Jonghyun was several times a week. Jinki wasn’t Jonghyun’s primary doctor, but he knew enough from lunchroom talk to confirm he was at least alright. ‘Stable’ was usually the term that was used, because nobody who spent their lives in a mental health hospital could be considered perfectly okay.

“You care for him,” Jinki said, three weeks after Kibum’s last visit with Jonghyun. His internship kept him away more than he wanted to. Kibum hoped that when it was finished, he’d be able to spend more time with Jonghyun.

“I do,” Kibum admitted. “I want to help him, I’m just not sure I can.”

“By caring you’ll help him,” Jinki smiled warmly. “There aren’t many doctors or nurses who genuinely do. Most just visit him, jot down their notes and leave. You managed to get him to talk a little more than usual – and I think that’s helped him more than you could imagine.”

“I don’t see how they couldn’t care,” Kibum sighed, stirring his fried rice.

“Jonghyun has a sharp tongue, and he often pushes people away with it,” Jinki’s lips quirked into a smile. “It seems you have an immunity to it.”

Kibum chortled at that, grinning rather proudly to himself. Of course he had an immunity – he had one that was just as sharp.

“We can pay him a visit after lunch if you’d like. I’m sure he’d appreciate that.” Jinki checked his watch briefly. “I do believe he was scheduled to see the psychologist this morning. His visit should be over by now.”

“Did you tell him to not ask about the suicidal thoughts?” Kibum questioned.

“I did,” Jinki confirmed with a small nod. “But...Jonghyun is going to have to confront the issue someday, so I permitted only one question to ask if he was ready to talk about it, and if he refused, the issue wasn’t to be pressed any longer.”

Kibum nodded his head at that. “Thank you,” he let out a quiet sigh. “I don’t think he trusts me anymore after I reported it. He was angry about it.”

“Patience,” Jinki said softly, reaching out to gently pat the back of Kibum’s hand. “You need to report the information, but if it will ease Jonghyun’s mind, you may report solely to me. I will sort what information is necessary for other doctors to know and keep the rest private if he wishes for it.”

“I think that will help him a lot,” Kibum smiled.

“I hope so,” Jinki let out a quiet sigh, scooping up the last of his rice with his spoon. “Though right now things are difficult, I believe Jonghyun will someday be able to leave this place.”

“He wants to leave. He told me this place stresses him out.”

Jinki nodded his head, letting out a quiet sigh. “This facility isn’t the best for some disorders, but it is a controlled, secure environment. In some ways, it helps with the healing, but in others it hinders. There will always be something that helps the most, and it’s different for every patient. You know this by now, yes?”

Kibum nodded his head, thinking over the patients he already knew. Minho used walks and medications to ease his fears, and a nineteen year old named Taemin who formerly occupied a room in the high-risk, always supervised rooms of Ward 1 had found his solace in gardening. The plants needed him, he had said after he fell in love with a brilliantly flowering rose bush in the gardens outside. He had found his reason to live in flowers. His parents were building a small greenhouse in the backyard for him at home in Seoul’s suburbs, but Taemin came back every day to tend the hospital’s gardens as a volunteer.

“While fire eases Jonghyun’s fears,” Jinki went on. “He won’t always be in a position to light one safely – and that is what he must come to understand.”

“And find other ways, I know,” Kibum finished off the last of his own meal and stuffed his lunch containers back into his bag. “Let’s go see him now.”

Rising to his feet, Kibum returned his bag to his locker before heading out of the lunch room, Jinki following close behind him. The familiar route to Jonghyun’s room was one Kibum now took without fear. Ward 2 no longer held potential danger – it held people with hearts and souls who simply struggled with things people had difficulty understanding.

Knocking on Jonghyun’s door, Kibum pushed his way inside. He paused for a moment, realizing Jonghyun wasn’t at his desk like he usually was. His gaze darted over to the bed next, finding him fast asleep on his side, his arms extended rather limply. It looked like he’d fainted in that position, and it made Kibum frown.

Jinki barely hesitated to pick up Jonghyun’s files, flipping to the most recent page. Kibum peeked over his shoulder to read the writing. He’d been sedated barely an hour ago for showing aggression towards the psychologist.

“If you will stay with him,” Jinki said, handing Kibum the papers. “I will have a talk with the psychologist and the nurse who oversaw the meeting. The report is probably in the process of being filed, but Jonghyun is not a patient who is regularly sedated. I’m sure you know that by now as well.”

Kibum nodded his head, swallowing thickly over the painful lump in his throat.

“I will be back shortly. Make sure he’s comfortable so he doesn’t wake up with a sore shoulder.”

Nodding once more, Kibum watched Jinki leave, turning his gaze back to the sleeping – no, unconscious – form of Jonghyun. The nurses who had left him in the bed had made sure he was left in the recovery position to make sure he could breathe properly while unconscious, but they’d done a sloppy job positioning his arms. Kibum reached out to adjust them, Jonghyun not responding in the slightest to the touches.

Pulling up the chair beside Jonghyun’s head, Kibum sat down, waiting for Jinki to return. He was glad Jinki cared – that he looked upon Jonghyun’s sedation as a confusing act more than an expected one. After all, Jonghyun wasn’t known to be violent, only verbal when provoked in the wrong ways.

Kibum began to flip through the papers once more, finding the questions the psychologist had written down for the session that day. Just as Kibum had expected, there were several, probing questions about Jonghyun’s suicidal thoughts the day the fire had started. What provoked them? Why did he feel the need to hurt himself? There were a handful of recorded answers, many of them reading along the lines of ‘patient refuses to answer’. It was followed by a rather drawn out note about the patient’s traumatic past spurring verbal aggression and threats of violence. The most noted one was Jonghyun threatening to set fire to the psychologist’s house.

“You’re not making this easy on yourself, Jonghyun,” Kibum let out a soft laugh, looking over at the man.

Jinki returned at that moment, giving Kibum a brief smile as he closed the door behind him.

“Jonghyun’s meeting with the psychologist didn’t go well,” he said without amusement.

“I know,” Kibum replied, gesturing to the file in front of him. “The psychologist wrote it all down here.”

“Yes, but that’s only the psychologist’s viewpoint unfortunately,” Jinki smiled grimly. “His aggression turned physical when nurses came to remove him. He pushed one of them away and hit another before they could sedate him.”

‘Don’t stick another needle in me,’ Jonghyun had said that day Kibum attended to him while he’d been sedated. ‘I don’t want it.’

“I want to hear what he says when he wakes up,” Kibum watched Jonghyun sleep, his face peaceful. It was hard to imagine him behaving so aggressively while he was like this.

“Do you think his violence is excusable?” Jinki questioned, his brow furrowing.

“I don’t know,” Kibum admitted. “But we owe him the chance to defend himself, don’t we?”

“Always,” Jinki confirmed, nodding his head slowly. “But the safety of other patients and our staff come first and foremost. If Jonghyun continues to strike out, he will be moved to Ward 3.”

Kibum didn’t want to think about what that meant. Nobody but the most experienced doctors were given a pass that allowed them access to Ward 3. There, security stood at every entrance and exit and patients were kept medicated almost constantly. It was the ward that contained criminal psychopaths; rapists, killers – and the people suffered hallucinations and delusions that posed a real threat to society. There was no joy or comfort in Ward 3. If Jonghyun disliked Ward 2, he certainly wouldn’t adapt well to Ward 3. On top of that, Kibum wouldn’t be able to see him for years, unless he applied for a visitor’s pass and an , and that took time.

“We’d best let him sleep for now,” Jinki sighed, interrupting his thoughts. “You can see him tomorrow, okay?”

Numbly, Kibum nodded his head and rose to his feet. He cast a slow glance in Jonghyun’s direction as he headed for the door, his heart aching at the peace the medicated sleep had brought him. He turned away and put his back to Jinki just in case the burning in his eyes gave way to tears.

...

Jonghyun was awake when Kibum returned to visit him the next day. He had wrapped his blankets around himself and was huddled in one of the darker corners of the room. His eyes, the only part of him that was easily visible, turned to stare in Kibum’s direction as he entered the room.

“Are you okay?” Kibum immediately asked. An uneaten tray of food sat on the desk. Lunch had been served an hour ago. “I came to see you yesterday but you were...” he didn’t really feel like he needed to finish the sentence. Jonghyun’s eyes remained focused on his face, bloodshot and hostile.

“Go away.” Jonghyun’s voice was muffled by the blanket, but it was loud enough to be easily heard.

Though he probably should’ve listened, Kibum was stubborn, and he wasn’t ready to leave Jonghyun alone in the room like this.

“Have you eaten today?” Kibum asked, gesturing to the lunch tray on Jonghyun’s desk, taking a few steps closer. If it was possible, Jonghyun curled himself into a tighter ball at Kibum’s approach. He couldn’t help but be reminded of a terrified animal trying to disappear. Sitting on the floor against the wall a few feet away, Kibum finally looked away from Jonghyun. The last few days had been rough on him. Kibum had never seen Jonghyun like this before – vulnerable and afraid.

“Do you have paper and pencils?” Kibum began to speak idly once more, looking around the room to see if he could spot any of the mentioned items. “I want to see you draw more fire. You draw it so perfectly – it looks like it will jump out of the page.”

“No,” Jonghyun’s response almost went unheard, the blanket smothering his weak voice effortlessly.

“Do you want me to get you some?” Kibum offered, looking over at him with a gentle smile. Jonghyun wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“I don’t want to draw fire.” Jonghyun stated, ice lacing his tone.

“You want a real fire?” Kibum prompted, raising an eyebrow.

Jonghyun’s eyes snapped towards Kibum once more, narrowing ruthlessly. Though he didn’t say it verbally, Kibum already knew the answer to his question. Tears leaked from Jonghyun’s eyes – Kibum understood.

“So badly,” he whispered after a few moments, his eyes vanishing as he burrowed his face into the blankets, his dark brown hair spilling out of the small hole he’d left for his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore...”

Kibum slid towards Jonghyun’s side, not hesitating to wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him into a hug. He was playing with fire by approaching Jonghyun like this when he was such a fragile state – after all, he’d struck a nurse only the day before. Kibum didn’t want to leave him alone to his tears – he had to help, even at the cost of his own safety.

Pulled into the hug, Jonghyun went rigid for a few moments before he gave up, his body falling limp in Kibum’s arms. He was defeated – he’d fallen to his lowest point. Jonghyun’s body trembled as he cried, the blankets only doing so much to muffle the sobs. Kibum parted the blankets just enough to run his fingers through Jonghyun’s hair, offering comfort.

“I want to ing die,” Jonghyun sobbed, his hands curling inside the blankets, catching Kibum’s shirt in the process. “I can’t—I can’t do this—”

“Shh, shh,” Kibum hushed gently, telling himself that he would keep Jonghyun’s words a secret from everyone for the time being. This was something only he and Jonghyun needed to know.

“I can’t—I go to the psychologist—and he just—brings up —I want to forget—” Jonghyun choked. “And—when I get pissed—they come in and—shoot me up like—I’m some—wild animal—”

“Is that why you hit the nurses yesterday?” Kibum asked, still being as gentle as he could.

“Y-Yes,” Jonghyun trembled, rubbing his face inside the blanket for a moment, trying to dry his eyes. “T-They didn’t give me a chance, t-they just came at me with their ing needles and I just—freaked out. I hate it—I hate the pain, I hate the feeling of losing control—of passing out—it feels like —I ing hate it!”

Kibum gently shushed Jonghyun again. He fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Jonghyun’s words were difficult to hear, and the fact that he was in so much distress only made it worse. Kibum wanted to help, but he didn’t quite know how. He’d never dealt with anything like this. Other nurses would sedate him to put an end to his distress, but Kibum didn’t have the licence to do so just yet. Even if he did, he wouldn’t have done it.

“I will tell Jinki that the sedative causes you distress,” Kibum said gently.

“ Jinki,” Jonghyun snorted. “ those nurses and the doctors—they don’t give a about anyone here, they just want their fat paycheck for dealing with crazies all day...”

“I care,” Kibum smiled weakly. “And I want to do whatever I can to help you. Jinki can help you too. All I have to do is get his permission to keep information confidential. Only three people will know your secrets – you, me and Jinki. I promise, Jonghyun.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about any of it. I just want to get the out of here.” Jonghyun squirmed until Kibum let him go. He pressed himself firmly back into the corner, turning his back to Kibum. “None of you understand that I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not asking you to talk about it now, just when you’re ready—”

“I will never be ready.” Jonghyun interrupted brokenly. “Never...”

It must’ve been horrible, Kibum thought to himself, watching Jonghyun’s shaking shoulders. He didn’t dare touch him again. Even just for a little while, Jonghyun needed to do his best to keep himself together. Until then, Kibum would wait.

“Even if it’s something like the weather,” Kibum said quietly as Jonghyun’s breathing began to grow steady once more. “You can always ask to talk to me. Let’s talk about things that don’t matter – things that change every day. Even if you want to call me in to tell me you want to train bumblebees to sniff out bombs, I will listen to your master plan.”

Jonghyun laughed at that. It was a choked, broken sound but it was a laugh. Kibum allowed himself to grin.

“Bees—” Jonghyun hiccupped, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, a smile on his lips. “Maybe you should get yourself a nice cushy room too.”

“I’m sure I’d fit right in with the décor,” Kibum laughed.

“You’d make it a lot brighter...”

Kibum paused a moment, wondering if he’d heard correctly. He glanced over at Jonghyun, a wistful smile still on his face. It faded a little in sadness as he took in the slump of Jonghyun’s shoulders as he hid his face in the blankets once more.

...

“Jonghyun’s birthday is soon,” Jinki spoke up over the lunch table.

Pausing mid-chew, Kibum looked up at the doctor across from him before forcing himself to swallow the mouthful. “Really?” He asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin and taking a large gulp of water.

“It’s in two weeks. April 8^th,” Jinki replied. “It will be his second one since he was admitted.”

“Will anyone be coming to visit him?” Kibum certainly hoped so. He’d only been an intern at the hospital for almost half a year now, but during that time not a single person had visited Jonghyun or attempted to contact him.

“It’s not likely,” Jinki said grimly, confirming Kibum’s worries. “Nobody has ever come in to see him aside from lawyers, and they stopped visiting him three months after he was admitted.”

“No parents?” Kibum questioned. “Family? Friends?”

“Nobody.” Jinki made a sweeping motion with his hand, emphasising his point. “Not even a single phone call. It’s a terrible thing, but if any family is outside these walls, they’ve abandoned him here. All he has is us, which is why a group of nurses and I are planning a small party for him.”

“That’s nice. That would make him happy, I think,” Kibum smiled, wondering how Jonghyun would feel to have a party.

“I hope it will help him see that we all care about him,” Jinki said with a nod. “Several of us are getting him cards, and we’re all donating a few dollars to go towards a gift. Any suggestions for what it should be? You seem to know him best, after all.”

Kibum couldn’t help but blush shyly at that, hiding his face a little. He had no real need to be embarrassed by the bond he and Jonghyun had developed, as it was normal for doctors and nurses to develop platonic relationships with patients, but it still made him feel a little fidgety.

Despite all of the time Kibum had spent with him, he only knew that Jonghyun enjoyed drawing and starting fires – though one of those things was entirely off limits. He wondered if Jonghyun would benefit from extra art supplies – something the hospital couldn’t provide. Art supplies could get expensive, but if drawing became Jonghyun’s therapy, he didn’t see why they shouldn’t help encourage his art.

“Maybe a sketchbook or two,” Kibum offered. “And coloured pencils, since he draws a lot.”

Jinki nodded his head at that, starting to smile. “That’s a good idea. I’ll mention it to the others.”

Kibum grinned at that, a warm feeling filling his chest as he imagined Jonghyun opening art supplies for his birthday. He wondered what he would draw first – though he hardly had to guess. He’d draw fire – he always drew fire. But this time, he’d be able to do it in full colour.

“Will he get candles on his cake?” Kibum asked, wondering if the hospital could make an exception for just one day. “I think he would really like that.”

“No, unfortunately we can’t allow that,” Jinki sighed and shook his head. “If he were any other patient, yes, we would give him candles. But his pyromania...”

“Yeah...I get it.” Kibum tried to imagine the look on Jonghyun’s face when he received a candle in his cake. Jonghyun’s features would be illuminated by the fire – and Kibum was rather certain the light would suit him well. Of all the things Jonghyun wanted for his birthday, he was certain the chance to see a flickering fire once again was what he wanted the most, as small as a candle flame might’ve been. “He’s been doing so well lately though.”

“He has,” Jinki confirmed, his expression brightening.

A month had passed since Jonghyun’s difficult meeting with the psychologist. Jinki had cancelled his appointments for several weeks in favour of allowing him to recover at his own pace. The use of sedatives on Jonghyun had been banned, with the exception of extreme cases or if he asked for it personally. Though he did occasionally have mild episodes of mania, they were steadily growing more and more infrequent as the days wore on. Kibum was usually informed of the more severe episodes, either through Jinki or through his personal nurse. Even through his distressed thoughts, Jonghyun still trusted Kibum enough to reach out for him when he was at his worst. He still didn’t talk about the things that bothered him the most, but he did allow Kibum to pull him into comforting hugs until he could calm himself. At one point, he fell asleep against Kibum’s shoulder, holding onto his arm.

During times Jonghyun was calm, he made good on Kibum’s promise and called him to his room at random times throughout the day to talk about whatever was on their mind. As an inside joke, he’d given Kibum a drawing of bumblebees dodging massive tongues of flame, their eyes bulging out of their tiny bee heads in comical panic. The drawing had been captioned with ‘bomb sniffing didn’t prepare them for this’. Kibum had laughed himself to tears. He framed it and hung it on his bedroom wall at home. He was quite happy that none of the bees were on fire. It showed that despite his love of flames, Jonghyun did have a respect for life.

“Maybe he’s finally starting to get better,” Kibum said hopefully. The thought of Jonghyun finally escaping the hospital cheered Kibum, but it was a bittersweet feeling. When Jonghyun left, Kibum might never see him again, but Jonghyun would be free.

“I hope so,” Jinki said with a smile. “You helped him the most, you know. I’m proud of you. Even though you’re just an intern, you’ve shown more care towards him than half of the nurses here.”

Nodding, Kibum hid his face a little, bowing his head towards the last of his lunch to hide his blush.

“I think that made all the difference for Jonghyun. He’s the kind of person who can tell when someone is faking kindness or offering it willingly.”

“Yeah,” Kibum agreed, stirring his curry chicken. “I just hope one day he’ll trust me enough to tell me what’s bothering him.”

“Whether or not he chooses to face the big problem, time eventually helps distance the pain,” Jinki patted the back of Kibum’s hand where it rested on the table. “Some things are far too painful to tell anyone – even those you trust the most.”

“But it helps to share the burden sometimes,” Kibum stated.

“Yes,” Jinki confirmed. “It does. But even I have burdens I’d rather carry alone. We all do. So we have to do our best to respect the wishes of others when they say they don’t want to talk about it. We might think we’re being helpful, but in reality, we’re just pushing them further away.”

“I understand.” Kibum was still worried about what could possibly have happened to Jonghyun, but there was a difference between helping and satisfying his own curiosity. He didn’t want to push Jonghyun – not like the psychologist did – but he still worried. He could still feel trembling hands clutching at his shirt; hear broken sobs tearing apart a man who tried to be strong. Nobody should ever get to that point.

“I’ll go see him today,” Kibum said, packing up his lunch containers. “If I can, I’ll ask him what he wants for his birthday without actually implying I know his birthday is coming.”

“That would be excellent,” Jinki said with a smile. “Thank you. We want it to be as much of a surprise as possible.”

“My lips are sealed,” Kibum promised, drawing a finger over his lips, metaphorically zipping them.

“Good,” Jinki nodded his head. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later,” Kibum nodded and zipped up his bag once more, tucking it into his locker before heading out of the room. Though it had only been a few days since he had last seen Jonghyun, Kibum found that he already missed him. He missed that cheeky smile, the way his hands moved subtly when he talked, and the way his hair would always be tousled from running his hand through it, as though he’d only just woken up.

Gently knocking on Jonghyun’s door, he stepped inside with a smile. Jonghyun was calm today, his pencil sliding across the paper in front of him as he drew his next fiery image. He looked up when Kibum had walked in, saluting him with the pencil before turning back to his drawing.

“Have you had your lunch yet?” Kibum asked, stepping over to the desk to peek over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun nodded his head. “The nurse took the tray back about ten minutes ago.” He looked up at Kibum once more, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t have to ask every single time you come in, you know. They’d have a feeding tube shoved down my throat if I wasn’t eating.”

“I know,” Kibum pulled up a chair to sit beside Jonghyun, offering a kind of half-smile. “I just worry.”

“You worry too much,” Jonghyun replied, his tone as soft as his eyes were. Kibum would keep fretting, simply because of the way Jonghyun looked at him when he said he was worrying. Though he told Kibum not to worry, there was softness in the words – like he was happy to have someone worry about him.

“I can’t help it,” Kibum sighed, making sure the sound was as overdramatic as possible.

“Try to help it,” Jonghyun suggested, his lips curling into a smile. “Because I’m going to have to start worrying that you’re worrying too much.”

“That’ll be the day – a patient worrying about an intern,” Kibum chortled. “It’s my job to worry.”

“You should worry about your family – your wife and kids and stuff.” Jonghyun replied, brushing it off. “They’re more important to you, I’m sure.”

“I don’t have a wife,” Kibum grinned. “Or kids.”

“How?” Jonghyun’s eyes widened comically. “Surely the women fall at your feet.”

“Surely they fall at yours,” Kibum joked, reaching over to punch Jonghyun’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“I’m a psychotic pyromaniac, remember?” Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, the smile still on his face. “You, meanwhile, are a trainee doctor—”

“More of a nurse,” Kibum interrupted.

“Whatever,” Jonghyun waved it off with a flick of his hand. “Either way, you have a better future than I do – more to offer any future girlfriend or wife. Once I’m out of here, I...” he trailed off, his expression falling slightly. He looked away without finishing his sentence and returned to drawing the silvery flames on the page in front of him.

“You don’t have to know what you’ll do,” Kibum said gently, watching the pencil scrape across the paper. “And we won’t just throw you back out into the world either. We have resources here to help you get back on your feet, okay? So don’t be scared of the future.”

Jonghyun only let out a faint laugh, shaking his head. “Can you leave me alone for a bit?”

Though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Kibum nodded his head. “Call me back in if you need to talk.”

Nodding his head, Jonghyun didn’t look up from his drawing. Kibum cast him a sad smile before turning and exiting the room, letting the door click shut behind him. He leaned against the wall for a moment, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. Jonghyun’s parents had never tried to contact him while he was in the hospital. Not a single friend had stopped by to see him for nearly two years. When the time came for Jonghyun to leave, was it possible he had no home to return to?