I looked away. Was this really happening? It was only three to four months into our relationship and he wanted to end it. Another tear fell down my cheek as I looked up at him. I wiped away my tears and walked by him, back to class.

I guess we were over.

I walked back into my classroom as everyone stared at me. The tardy bell rang and I looked out my window. I saw Byunghun walk by slowly. He glanced in my room and made eye contact with me. A tear fell from his eye as he looked away and continued to walk back to his class. I looked back at the board as my teacher walked inside the classroom. I put my head down most of the class period since there wasn’t a lecture and all I did was cry silently into my arm.

When the lunch bell rang, I remained still. I kept my head down and closed my eyes, wishing everything was just a dream. When I heard someone sit down in Changjo’s desk, I opened my eyes, hoping it was him. But instead I saw my classmate Yemin. I had never really talked to her so I closed my eyes again. “Sungah-yah, you should just ignore Yoonmi.” I opened my eyes and looked at her. She sighed and said, “I used to be her best friend in middle school but she’s such a , I stopped talking to her.” She looked down at me and giggled. “She just wants attention and popularity, she’s not a real friend. When I saw how you guys were friends, I wanted to stop you but that wouldn’t do anything.”

Honestly, I didn’t even care about Yoonmi anymore. I wanted to go to Byunghun but I couldn’t anymore. Thinking about this, another tear fell down my eye. Yemin quickly gave me a tissue and said, “I didn’t mean to make you cry more…” I softly smiled and took the tissue, dabbing it on my eyes. “It’s not that.” I meekly whispered. Yemin pursed her lips and asked, “Did you guys… break up?” I closed my eyes, trying not to cry and turned my head away.

I heard Yemin chuckle. “I’m pretty sure Byunghun won’t let that happen.” I wiped away my tears and brought my head up. She smiled and said, “It’s obvious he really likes you. There’s no way he’s going to let you go over something so stupid like this.” I sighed and said, “He’s the one who decided to break up.” Yemin’s eyes got wide. “What?!” I bit my lip and asked, “But is everything true? About Byunghun…” Yemin looked down and stayed silent for a while. Then she replied, “Honestly, it is true. Girls throw themselves at him and he took advantage of it. But I can truthfully say that you’re different. The way he treats you, everything he does for you, even the way he looks at you just shows how much he really likes you. I’m not trying to be mean but I feel like Byunghun’s going through worse if you guys are actually breaking up.” I put my head back down slowly and closed my eyes. After a while, I heard Yemin leave. She probably had nothing else to say. I stayed like that the whole lunch period.

After school, I went to the library and sat down in the usual spot. It took me longer than usual to finish my homework because I kept getting distracted in my thoughts.

At one point, someone came and sat down next to me. I quickly looked up, hoping it was Byunghun. I sighed out of disappointment when I saw Chunji next to me. “So this is where you always are.” I just nodded and continued to do my homework. “I heard what happened at school. Are you okay?” I just ignored him. “Shouldn’t Byunghun be with you right now? I mean after all that happened, he should at least—“ Without looking up at him, I said, “We broke up.” Chunji hesitated to talk before saying, “Oh…”

After some more silence, he said, “If it makes you feel better, I told Yoonmi off for doing all that to you.” I threw my pencil on my notebook and asked, “Why did you make up rumors about me cheating on Byunghun with you?” Chunji furrowed his eyebrows, “What are you talking about? I never said anything about you. I swear!” I sighed, “So Yoonmi made all of that up too?” Chunji rolled his eyes and leaned his head back on the wall. “Now do you know why I don’t like her?” I slightly laughed which made Chunji look at me. “I made you laugh, right? I did, right?” I looked at him and nodded. He smiled, “Don’t be sad Sungah-yah. It doesn’t fit you.”

It was dark when I walked home alone. It felt weird, to not have Byunghun next to me. Whenever I would hear strange noises, I would quickly turn around and inspect the area around me before walking even faster. In the end, I got home safely and immediately went to bed. I was so drained out of energy.

-----

The next day during recess, I came out of the restroom and walked back to my classroom. Someone grabbed my ponytail and pulled on it, making me fall to the ground. Everyone around me stared and I quickly looked behind me and saw Yoonmi laughing with her friends. “ on the floor!” She shouted. I quickly got up and straightened out my skirt.

Suddenly, I heard her screaming so I quickly turned around and saw all of Byunghun’s friends except for him. Changjo had grabbed Yoonmi’s hair and threw her to the wall. Changjo pointed at me as he looked at her and said, “One more finger on her and we’ll you up.” Ricky came over to me and smiled, “Are you alright?” I just blinked and nodded. Changjo threw his arm around my neck and said, “I miss everything when I’m absent.” I put on a small smile as we walked back to class.

During lunch, I stayed in the classroom as Changjo left. I stared at my lunchbox and decided not to eat again. I wasn’t hungry. Yemin came and sat down next to me, smiling. “Do you want some of my lunch?” I looked at her and shook my head with a small smile. “Thank you though.” Yemin pouted, “It’s not good if you don’t eat.” I shrugged, “I don’t feel like eating.” Yemin slowly nodded and proceeded on to eat her lunch.

Curious, I asked her. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Yemin looked at me and sighed. “Well for one, I don’t like Yoonmi since I knew since middle school. Secondly, I thought you would need a friend and I’m kind of a loser so I thought, why not?” I smiled and said, “I don’t think you’re a loser.” Yemin put on this smile that emphasized her eye smile. “Thanks.”

Yemin slightly poked at her food before saying, “To tell you the truth, I kind of hated you when you first came to our school.” I looked at her and asked, “Why?” Yemin started to blush and said, “I was jealous that you got seated next to Changjo.” I chuckled and said, “You like him?” Yemin shyly nodded. “In our last year in middle school, Yoonmi threw all my books onto the ground and walked away. I was picking up all my books and papers when he came and helped me pick them all up. He was the only one that helped me and when he gave me my stuff, he put on this smile that made my heart flutter.” I couldn’t help but smile at her. “When I heard he was in class 1-1, I worked really hard to be in the same class and here I am.”

“Changjo’s a really nice guy. You should hang out with us when we—“ But then I paused. I only hung out with Changjo whenever Byunghun was there. My face expression changed and Yemin smiled, “It’s okay, I’m glad he at least says hi to me at school.” I just put on this small smile, trying to rid my thoughts of Byunghun.

Suddenly, I heard the classroom door slam open and saw all of Byunghun’s friends walk in. The whole class went silent as the group of boys walked up to me. They asked me, “Where’s Byunghun hyung?” I looked at them and sighed softly to myself. Byunghun probably didn’t tell them. I just shrugged. Changjo let out a big sigh as he sat down on an empty chair. I heard him mutter, “Where the is he…”

I grabbed Niel’s arm and asked, “Did something happen?” Niel sighed and said, “He came to school yesterday and I know he did since I walked in with him. Then during recess, he was leaving his classroom to see you so I waited in his classroom for him to come back…but he never came back. I went back during lunch but of course, he wasn’t there. So after school, we all called him and tried to reach him but his phone was off. We went to his house but he wasn’t home. I even went to his house at 3 in the morning but he wasn’t home. So when I came to school today and saw that he wasn’t here again, I started to trip out.”

Changjo turned to look at me and I turned my gaze towards him. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Did something happen between you two?” I stared at him intently, without even realizing it. Within a matter of seconds, I stood up and grabbed my bag. I ran out of the classroom towards the restroom. I’ve heard about girls ditching school through the restroom window.

When I successfully climbed out of the building and the school, I ran to the nearest bus stop. I knew exactly where he would’ve been.

I walked through the street, looking for him. I grew nervous when I couldn’t find him anywhere. Maybe I was wrong, maybe he wasn’t there. I sighed and went over to the stairs and sat down on the steps, facing the Hankang River. I tried to think about where he could be, what he could be doing, and if he was okay.

That was when I looked down the steps and noticed a guy with light brown hair sitting down, facing the river. I felt my heartbeat accelerate at the sight of Byunghun. I grabbed my bag and slowly walked down the steps toward him. When I got closer, I saw that he had earphones on so he probably couldn’t hear me approaching him. I slowly made my way next to him and sat down.

He looked at me as if my presence was a dream. After some silence, he muttered, “I’m sorry.”

-----

That night, Byunghun walked me home. We walked the whole way in silence, holding hands. When we got to my house, he didn’t let go. I just looked at him and put on a small smile. “I have to go inside, you know.” Byunghun put on this small smile and leaned towards me. He gently kissed me on the forehead and asked, “Can I sleep over? I want to tell you everything.” I nodded as I let go of his hand.

After I got ready for bed, I made sure my parents were asleep. When they were, I opened the window for Byunghun. Soon enough, he arrived and came inside. I told him, “I’m surprised your mom doesn’t catch you.” Byunghun just smiled and said, “I’m just that slick.”

We sat down on my bed next to each other. Byunghun let out a sigh and said, “Did the guys say something about me?” I nodded. “They were worried about you because you were gone.” I looked up at him and asked, “Where were you?” Byunghun looked down at his hands and said, “I went to the library and when I saw you walk in, I hid from you. When you walked home, I followed behind you to make sure you got home safely. And for the rest of the night, I stayed at my sister’s boyfriend’s house. And then at right before noon, I went to Hankang River.”

I didn’t say anything. It was no wonder that I felt like I heard someone behind me when I walked home that day. “I… saw you with Chunji at the library.” I blinked and said, “He’s really… persistent.” Byunghun chuckled and said, “Synonym for annoying.” I smiled and said, “I guess.” Byunghun slowly laced his fingers with mine as he said, “I wouldn’t care but since he likes you…” I let out a small laugh.

“Sungah-yah…” I looked up at him. “No matter what you hear… I want you to believe me when I say that you’re the only person I’ve ever truly liked.” I smiled and said, “I believe you.” Byunghun looked at me and said, “Even if all those rumors are true?” My smile slightly dropped and I knew that he noticed it. I quickly brought back my smile and said, “Yeah.”

“Kim Hye something. I was a first year and she was a second year when we met at a club. I kind of ed up and lost my ity to her. Left her the next day and we never talked again. Lee Jungmi. She’s a 3^rd year in another school. I was in a relationship with her the whole summer after my first year. She was annoying as . I just used her for . Dumped her and she transferred out of our school. In the middle of second year, this girl was being persistent about being in a relationship with me. She wouldn’t leave me alone so I said okay. I cheated on her and I even told her but she didn’t even care. I dumped her cause I got bored of having a boyfriend label. To be honest, I don’t even remember her name. And then I met you.”

Honestly, listening to all this was very uncomfortable for me. I could feel Byunghun looking at me, waiting for me to respond but I was stuck. I just stared at my blankets in front of me and remained still. Byunghun held onto my hands tight and said, “This is why I didn’t want to tell you.” When I didn’t say anything, Byunghun tilted his head towards me and asked, “Are you okay?” I just blinked a couple of times.

Byunghun leaned back and said, “Yoon Sungah. I met her in the middle of my third year. She was really shy and innocent. I hung out with her for the first time because I convinced her to ditch school with me. And for the first time ever, I got butterflies in my stomach. I understood what everyone meant when they said that their heart flutters when they see someone they like. To be honest, there was nothing special about her but everything about her was so attractive to me. Maybe it was the way she smiles or the way she laughs. Maybe it was the way she blinks when she’s lost or thinking about something. Maybe it was just the way she looked at me. Something about her made me go crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I wanted to see her every second of my life. But when I saw her at school the next day, I felt like my whole body was emptied of my problems. And that’s when I knew that I was falling for her. Up to this day, I can’t stop thinking about her. I have this urge to always be by her side to protect her from anything and everything. When she smiles, when she laughs, when she looks at me, my heart still flutters. Even up to this day, I still get nervous when I try to give her a kiss. When I spend time with her, it feels surreal. When she holds my hand, my heart races. When she hugs me, I never want to let her go. And when she kisses me, absolutely nothing can explain what I feel.”

Byunghun looked at me as I looked back at him. “And that comes from the bottom of my heart.” A tear strolled down my cheek as a smile formed on my face. Byunghun wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head down on his chest.

“I’m sorry for running off the other day.” Byunghun pulled me closer to him and said, “I’m sorry for even saying let’s break up.” I smiled and said, “I’m never letting you go.” Byunghun smiled and said, “That’s one of my big wishes.”

I looked up at him and asked, “Really? What are your wishes?” Byunghun chuckled and said, “I have three. My first one is to meet someone that’ll change my life. My second one is to change someone’s life. And my third one is to protect and love one person until the day I die. And I’m assuming that one person is going to be you.” I giggled and said, “It’s too early to tell you know.” Byunghun just chuckled and said, “Don’t underestimate my love for you.” I playfully rolled my eyes and said, “Let’s go to sleep.” Byunghun smiled and nodded.

But for a moment, we stared at each other. Byunghun leaned down and kissed me on the lips. When he let go, he looked directly into my eyes and said, “I love you.”

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Yays, I updated again ^__^