It felt weird, it really did. I was graduating high school, standing next to Changjo, as they called out names. I looked at the audience filled with parents, siblings, relatives, and friends. I had already found my parents but I was looking for Byunghun. He unfortunately had an appointment at the hospital today and insisted that he was going to make it to my graduation. But I still didn’t find him.

I stared at my principal as he said my name and handed me my diploma with a warm smile. I went down the steps and waited for Changjo. As soon as he started to walk down, he ran up to me and hugged me. “We graduated!” I smiled and hugged him back. I had started off high school here, next to Changjo and I ended high school next to him. He was my best friend in high school and I was truly thankful for that.

As we walked back to our seats, I was looking for Byunghun again. Instead, I saw Chunji as he waved at me, smiling. I was surprised to see him. He told me he couldn’t make it to my graduation because of finals. My friendship with Chunji had also grown to a point where he was like my older brother. We had hung out whenever Chunji was out on break and I was slightly disappointed when he said he couldn’t make it but then figured he couldn’t help it. Seeing him there made me happy. He took care of me well and had stuck to his word about having my back.

When the graduation ceremony was over, my parents ran up to me with flowers and big smiles on their faces. I could’ve sworn I saw my mom crying earlier. Changjo and his family ran up to us and we began to take several pictures. When I saw Chunji standing off to the side, I walked up to him and pulled him over, taking a picture with him. I hugged him and said, “Thanks for coming.” Chunji chuckled and said, “I can’t believe you believed me when I said I couldn’t make it. I wouldn’t miss your graduation for anything.” I smiled and said, “I should’ve known better…”

Yemin and her family pushed through and said, “Yoon Sungah! Don’t forget about me!” I smiled and hugged her. We took more pictures. While everyone was preoccupied with taking pictures, my mom came up to me and said, “Byunghun’s been waiting.” She pointed to the side and I saw Byunghun leaning on the wall, staring at us. I handed everything to my mom and ran to Byunghun. He stood up straight when he saw me coming. I hugged him tightly as we slightly fell back from the force.

Byunghun chuckled and said, “I noticed how you kept looking for me.” I just held onto him tightly and said, “I thought you didn’t make it.” Byunghun pulled away and cupped my face. He kissed me and said, “You should’ve seen how fast I ran out of the hospital to make it here.” I smiled and said, “Because you wouldn’t miss my graduation for anything?” Byunghun shook his head and said, “No, because I wouldn’t dare miss out on congratulating my own girlfriend and telling her that I love her.” He hugged me again and said, “Congratulations” as he handed me a bouquet of roses. As we walked back, Byunghun smiled and said, “I can brag to everyone that my girlfriend’s a student at Seoul University.”

That night, everyone hung out together to eat kogi. While we were eating, Ricky asked, “Would you guys get married?” Byunghun and I both looked up at him. Ricky continued, “I know we always tease you guys but I’m really curious. Would you guys consider getting married?” I looked over at Byunghun. He softly chuckled to himself and returned eating. “Wow hyung, are you going to just ignore me then?” Ricky complained. I smiled and returned eating as well.

My parents had agreed on letting Byunghun sleepover that night. While we were walking to my house, I asked him, “How’s treatment going along?” Byunghun sighed and said, “It’s kind of annoying how they give me extra care but I guess it’s all worth it since my cancer cells are dying off.” I smiled and said, “That’s good news!” Byunghun chuckled and said, “They said I have another 2 years.” I sighed and said, “I’m waiting for the day that they tell us you no longer have any cancer cells.” Byunghun put on a small smile and said, “Me too.”

Byunghun and I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. “You know… Ricky asked a good question today.” I looked over at Byunghun. “The marrying thing?” Byunghun nodded. I looked back at my ceiling. “Would… you?” I sighed and said, “Well yeah… in the future, I guess.” I looked back at Byunghun and asked, “What about you?” Byunghun let out a long sigh. “I would without hesitation.” I smiled and said, “Such a typical answer from you.” Byunghun chuckled, bringing me closer to him. “You know what my answer would be, why do you even bother asking?” I wrapped my arms around his waist and said, “I guess I just like hearing it.”

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I was getting ready to hang out with Chunji when Byunghun texted me. What are you doing today? I quickly responded. I’m hanging out with Chunji oppa. Did you want to do something? Byunghun never replied.

Chunji called me to tell me he was here. When I stepped outside, he had driven his car down. My eyes widened, not expecting him to drive. He smiled and waved. His hair was dyed red and he had on aviator glasses. He looked really different.

Our hangout together was like any other time except this time, a lot of more girls swooned over him than usual. It didn’t seem to bother Chunji though. “Where do you want me to drop you off?” I looked down at my phone, wondering why Byunghun hadn’t responded yet. “Can you drop me off at Byunghun’s house?” He nodded and drove off.

When we got to Byunghun’s house, I saw Byunghun walking home. I got out of the car and smiled at Chunji through the window. “Bye! Thanks for the ride.” Chunji waved and said, “Bye, I’ll see you next time!” Then I turned around to Byunghun and ran towards him. Behind me, I heard Chunji driving off.

Byunghun stared at Chunji’s car and then at me. He stuck his hands in his pockets and continued walking before I could say anything. I blinked twice before following him into his house. “Byunghun…?” He just sat down on his couch and his television. I quietly went towards him and sat down next to him. “Are you… okay?” Byunghun didn’t reply.

I thought about how he never replied to my text so I figured he was mad about that. “Are you mad that I hung out with Chunji?”  Byunghun looked at me and back at the TV. “I don’t give a if you hang out with him or not.” I pouted and asked, “Are you mad at me for something?” Byunghun sighed, “I’m not mad at you.” I grabbed his arm and slightly tugged. “Tell me… did I do something?” Byunghun’s face fringed and said, “I don’t want to… it’s not a big deal.” I furrowed my eyebrows. “I don’t care, I want to know.” Byunghun looked at me. “I guess… it’s cause in your text you said Chunji oppa.”

A smile formed on my face. “Were you jealous?” Byunghun stood up and went towards his bedroom. I got up and ran after him, grabbing his arm and giggling. “Were you?” Byunghun tried to pull my arm off and run away but I held on tight. “Stop trying to avoid me!” Byunghun turned around with half a smile. “I wasn’t jealous! I’m just… I don’t know!” He tried to pull away again but I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight in my arms. “Yes you were! You were jealous that I say oppa to Chunji but not to you.” Byunghun tried to pull away from my grasp but failed. He eventually started dragging me around the house.

“Let go!” I started to laugh and said, “Not until you admit it!” Byunghun started to laugh now as he said, “I’m warning you. Let go!” I stuck out my tongue and said, “I’m not scared of you.” Byunghun then dragged me towards his bedroom and threw me onto the bed. He went on top of me and said, “I warned you!” Then he started to tickle me around my stomach and I started laughing and screaming, trying to get him off.

“Byunghun stop! I can’t breathe.” He smiled and stopped. He threw himself on me, his hands on his bed next to my head as he stared down at me. My eyes widened at the sudden closeness and I felt my heartbeat skyrocket. Byunghun continued to smile and said, “I can feel your heartbeat.” I felt myself blushing so I turned my head, blinking but Byunghun grabbed my chin and turned my head back towards him.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes from the sudden contact and I felt Byunghun chuckling. Then he kissed my nose which made me open my eyes. His hands reached down and grabbed my own hands. He brought them back up towards our faces and twined our fingers. He brought his face closer to mine and whispered, “I love you.” Then he placed his lips on mine, closing his eyes. I closed my eyes as well and kissed him back. We gradually opened our mouths and his tongue roamed around my cavern.

He slightly bit my bottom lip before pulling away. He rested his forehead on mine as we smiled at each other. He whispered, “You would think that by now, I’d be used to us kissing… but I still get nervous. Is that weird?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, “I don’t think so.” He chuckled as he laid down beside me.

“I’m sorry.” I looked at him and asked, “What for?” He turned his whole body to me and said, “I don’t have anything to impress you. Seeing Chunji drive his car today… I wish I could do that for you.” I snuggled in close to him and wrapped my arms around his waist as I placed my head on his chest. “Chunji oppa could impress me with the nicest cars, clothes, and accessories but the one thing he’ll never be able to give me is the happiness that you give me.”

Byunghun chuckled and playfully shouted, “Stop calling him oppa! It’s disgusting.”

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I followed Byunghun to the hospital one day for his checkup when I ran into Sungmin. “Sungah-yah! How are you?” I smiled and said, “Well I graduated high school and everything’s good! How are you?” He smiled and said, “I’m cancer-free if that answers your question. Other than that, everything’s pretty good. Which college are you going to?” I just smiled again and said, “Seoul University.” His jaw dropped and said, “Whoa, I didn’t know you were that crazy.”

We talked a bit more about colleges and other events that happened in our lives. Before we parted, he stopped me and said, “Actually, I was thinking of contacting you one day.” I raised an eyebrow, “Is something wrong?” He shook his head and handed me his business card. “I know you’re like a Seoul University student and all but if you have any interests of becoming an actress, feel free to hit me up. I’ll take you in in a heartbeat.” I just smiled and he said, “Only if you want to. I just see potential in you.” With that, we parted ways.

I just stared at his business card as I walked towards the doctor’s office. As I put the card in my pocket, I walked by a room filled with doctors and nurses. I peered inside and saw them crowding around a patient. It must’ve been an emergency.

I was about to walk away when I heard a woman cry, “Please save him. He’s too young to die already. Please I beg you!” I turned my head back inside the room and slowly walked inside. I saw a middle aged woman crying and begging one of the nurses by the bed. To the side by the wall, I noticed a young teenage girl about my age shaking and staring at the chaos. She looked like she was in shock as she trembled and stared at the chaos with a pale face and wide eyes.

And then I heard it. The loud and long beep from the monitor; the patient didn’t make it. I saw the young girl drop to the floor and the woman began to cry out louder. I saw all the doctors’ and nurses’ shoulders drop. The room was silent except for the cries of the woman.

The doctor bowed his head in shame and said, “I’m sorry.” The woman quickly stood up and grabbed the doctor’s gown. “You said he had another two months! You lied to me!” The nurse tried to pull her away and said, “He must’ve continued smoking. It’s something we can’t predict now.” The woman let go and continued to cry as the doctors left the room. The nurses started to clean up the mess when I walked inside. I looked over at the clipboard and saw that the patient was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was only 19.

I figured the woman was his mother. I walked over to the young girl who was still shaking on the floor. I knelt down beside her and asked, “Are you his sister?” A tear fell down her face so I wiped it away for her. She didn’t look up at me. “He’s my boyfriend.” I felt my heart drop. She started to cry more. “He started smoking because of me. He stopped taking medication because of me. I killed him…” I quickly brought her face up and asked, “What are you talking about? It’s not your fault.” She cried louder and shouted, “I shouldn’t have left him when he told me he had cancer. I should’ve taken care of him! If I just stayed he wouldn’t have died early.”

One of the nurses came and pulled her up and took her away somewhere. I just sat there, thinking about what she said. My phone started to vibrate so I picked it up. “Hello?” Byunghun asked, “Sungah-yah, where are you?” I blinked and answered, “I…I went to the restroom. I’ll go back right now.”

I was walking back towards Byunghun’s doctor’s office but then I found myself running at one point. Byunghun stood outside the door waiting for me and before I knew it, I threw myself on him and hugged him tight. I was breathing heavily but I held on tight to his waist.

“Is something wrong?” I held onto him tighter and closed my eyes. A tear fell down my face as I said, “Don’t die.” Byunghun slightly shifted his position and asked, “Why so suddenly?” I looked at him and repeated myself, “Don’t die.” Byunghun put on a small smile and fixed my hair. “Well I have to die someday…” I frowned and said, “Well when you do, promise me it’ll be when we’re both old and wrinkly.” Byunghun chuckled and nodded. “I promise.”

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I was 20 years old attending my 3^rd year in college when Byunghun and my relationship began to get serious. Byunghun had moved out to his own apartment, working at local stores and studying in a nearby community college. I had been dorming my first two years in college but I started to live with Byunghun my third year. Besides that, there was nothing different about our relationship. I could say that we still truly loved each other and that was all I ever needed.

Byunghun was off at work and I was at home when I got a call from the doctor. “Hi, Byunghun isn’t picking up his phone right now but I wanted to tell you that he left his jacket here yesterday.” I replied, “Oh really? I’ll just go pick it up right now then.”

When I went to the hospital, I said hi to a few nurses and walked into the doctor’s office. “Here you go. And please remind Byunghun about his form.” I looked at him and asked, “A form? What form?” He sat back down in his chair and said, “The form for his hospitalization?” I furrowed my eyebrows and walked closer to his desk. “He’s getting hospitalized? Is he getting an operation?”

The doctor blinked and looked down at his calendar and back up at me. “I’m sorry, didn’t Byunghun tell you?” I slowly shook my head. “All he’s told me is that everything’s fine.” The doctor put on a worried face and bit his lip. “I’m not sure if I can tell you this then…” I put on an angry face expression and said, “I have a right to know.”

The doctor sighed. “Byunghun must be hospitalized within the next three weeks.” I waited for him to continue on to his explanation.

After some hesitation, the doctor told me, “He’s moved up to third stage cancer.”

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One more chapter!

I know you guys hate me right now but remember that the story isn't over yet...