I felt so bad about being happy that day. But if I was to be be honest, I was a little happy, because I got to see Namjoon. He hadn't come back, and I was guessing because it was because he needed some time to process everything. So now that I saw him, I was a bit happy, but then my heart broke, seeing him kneel infront of his mother's picture. My mom was crying, even though my mom and Namjoon's mom had fallen out after Namjoon's mom got married and got richer, they'd been best friends one's in their life. Namjoon was just kneeling, staring at the picture, no tears falling, I guess because he'd let it all out to me that day. I got on my knees beside him, then started petting his hair.  Namjoon's dad was in a wheel chair in the back, tears dropping, saying it should have been him instead of her, with Taehyung their his hand saying everything's going to be alright.

Namjoon and I had stayed behind and cleaned up after all the guests had left. Namjoon's dad was taken back to the hospital and my parents had left giving me a big hug. I looked at Namjoon in his black suit, he had a blank face again. "We're done right? I'll call a cab" I said. He doesn't say anything and I call a cab.

We both sit in the back seat and the cab driver asks us where we're going. "Are you coming home?" I ask Namjoon. He looks at me and then he turns to the cabdriver and tells him our adress. 

We walk into our apartment in complete silence. He walks straight to our bedroom and all I do is follow him. He starts taking off his tie and he seems frustrated, he's pulling on it, not thinking straight. He's done this so many times before but today he couldn't do it, he couldn't remember how to get of a tie.  I walk over and grab his hands, gently letting them down before my hands went back up to his necktie and I removed it for him gently. Namjoon was staring right at me whilst I was doing it, blank face, breathing heavy. I stepped back and then turned around and started ping my dress. I turned my head to take a look at Namjoon, he was undressing himself just staring right at me. I put on a large T-shirt that I was pretty sure belonged to Namjoon and then went into the bathroom to wash my face and do my night routine. 

Namjoon is sitting in his PJs on his side of the bed just looking at his fingers, almost like he was trying to figure out if he existed or not. I walked over to his side and sat down. He looked at me and I pat his head, now his whole body turns towards me, his arms sling around my torso and he gives me a hug. He talks to me for the first time today, "can I sleep in your arms tonight?" he asks. I pull out of the hug and nod.

When I woke up Namjoon's heavy head was not on my arm anymore, he wasn't all muffled up in my chest like we fell asleep last night. In fact he wasn't in the bed at all. I got out of bed confused and went to the kitchen only to find Namjoon standing there, I noticed the two plates of pancakes on the kitchen Island. "Good morning" I said, and Namjoon turned around. He smiles and says good morning back and then he takes the gloves off and stopps doing the dishes. "I actually managed to cook us breakfast without burning it" he says giggling as he walks over to me. He pushes a bit of my hair back behind my ear, "you look pretty" he says and then pushes his lips on mine for a second. I am confused, "Namjoon, are you ok?" I ask. And he giggles, "ofcourse", he grabs my hand and pulls me to the table to sit down before he brings the pancakes over. 

"So what do you think? Does it taste horrible?" 

"No it's actually really good" I say. "You're not lying just to be nice are you?" Namjoon asks. I laugh and I reassure him that his pancakes actually don't taste bad. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about acting like a douche. I was just extremly jealous and the pic just made it worse" Namjoon says. I almost choke on my pancake, but I manage to cough it up and Namjoon is looking at me with a sincere look, "are you ok?". "Uhm yeah, just wasn't expecting that. I forgive you, but next time talk to me please, I was really hurt that you'd not even listen to what I had to say" I say. Namjoon smiles and nods.

I am trying to study but Namjoon isn't letting me as he's trying to snuggle and get my attention. "Yah!, we have exams coming up soon, we graduate in like only a few weeks, you need to study too Namjoon" I say. He looks at me doe eye'd and pushes his lips on mine for a second, "lighten up" he says and then laughs at my frustration. "Speaking of graduation, go to the ball with me" he says casually as his hand grabs mine and our fingers intertwine. "I'll only go if you let me study" I answer. Namjoon giggles and then he leans in so his lips are right next to my ear, "if you want, we can study chemistry together". I am shocked, and Namjoon's lips are hovering just above my neck and his hands are snaking up my sides. I am breathless, my heart is beating to the max, I just want for him to touch me, but all he does is lean back with a smirk on his face. He looks at my red face, "I'll go bring our chemisty books then" he says in all seriousness. "I hate you so much" I say and Namjoon laughs.