(I wonder if you come back home, when I keep calling you)

„I am tired but not like sleepy tired, just like tired of everything.“

19th of December 2016

Junhyung woke up and felt sick. He probably got sick because he was standing outside in the cold for a long time yesterday. Yesterday was what people call a „bad day“ and today‘s even worse for him. Today was the 3rd birthday that he had to „celebrate“ without him and Hyunseung being a couple.

Eventhough he had always acted pretty cold towards his ex-boyfriend after they broke up, he missed him every single day since they weren‘t a couple anymore.

Junhyung really tried his best to forget Hyunseung,while always being busy with work and trying to find someone who could replace Hyunseung but he had to find out that there would never be someone like Hyunseung and so his longing towards him got even worse than before.

He was curious if Hyunseung thought that often about him like he thought about Hyunseung. Was he lying awake at night too, because he thought of him? Or did he made their memories become undone? Junhyung blamed himself often for letting HS know that he was the only one and the reason for his songs. Every thought he spend thinking about Hyunseung was blamed by Junhyung and he blamed the fact that he missed him all the time and wanted him back so much that it hurt

„Hyunseung my life started freezing at the moment you left me, now I‘m left all alone in the cold.“

Wonder if∙♫♪♫ Are you still the same as before? Are you still the way I remember you? If I held onto you back then, would you still be looking at me with those loving eyes, like you always did back then?♪♫♫

Junhyung walked out of his bedroom to the balcony and opened the door to walk outside in the bittersweet cold that tried to take his warmth away. He looked up to the sky that was cloudy and watched the snowflakes falling down. „Hyunseung I wanna blame the Sky for everytime I spend thinking of you. I wanna blame him because I am missing you. I feel so lonely and also lost. If you could hear me now would you come back to stay and never leave me again?“

HOME♫♫♪Although it‘s too late and I‘m a bit anxious, you have to come back I‘m your Home.♫♫♪

19th of December 2016

Hyunseung was sad. He was very sad, because today was the 3rd birthday of Junhyung that he wouldn‘t spend with him. He walked to his beloved balcony and stepped out in the cold. Tears were falling down all over his face, then he cloed his eyes, to feel everything he had to feel. He let all the pain happen, all the pain that he always tried to ignore and to push away. Hyunseung whispered: „Yes I have changed. Pain does that to people. But I am still loving you after all this time. Happy Birthday Junhyung.“

„All this time I was pretending to be allright and not to be hurt. All this time I was pretending that wouldn‘t love you anymore. All thiis time I was lonely and i started to hate myself and my life ven more than I already did before. I just thought about myself and didn‘t cared for other people‘s pain. I never said sorry for everything that I have done to the people I love and care about. I was and I still am so weak. I don‘t know how long I can continue living my life without you. Better said I don‘t know if I wanna continue being a part of this world anymore when I‘m without you. Junhyung this is all because I ain‘t complete when you aren‘t by my side.“

HOME♫♫♪I don't know about other people's pain, yeah. I don't know the meaning of tears, yeah. I can't loose 'cause losing is my loss, yeah. But now I regret only thinking of my pride, baby. Back then Ithought being immature was all part of being young, bae no no no.♫♫♪

1st of September 2009

„When I saw you for the first time it took me all of my strenght not to kiss you. When I saw ou laughing for the first time It took me all of my strenght not to fall in love. When I saw your soul it took all my strength away and I was completly fallen for you. Now I‘m yours and totally unable to control my feelings towards you any longer."

„Wow that‘s beautiful who‘s the person you wrote it for“ asked Hyunseung Junhyung who just made him a love confession. „What“ whispered Junhyung who was totally confused that Hyunseung didn‘t notice that he just confessed his love for him.

„Oh you‘re whispering so it‘s a secret? Tell me who‘s the lucky girl“ while talking Hyunseung got closer to Junhyung and their faces were super close to eachother.

The two of them were sitting at the stairs nearby to a lake where they were taking pictures for their first mini album. The crew and the other members were already in the hotel but Junhyung and Hyunseung wanted both to stay at the lake for a while.

Junhyung started to feel how his whole face turned red and stood immediately up to get away from his Bandmember. It was to much for him to be this close to Hyunseung, he didn‘t knew how long he could oush the longing towards the skinny one away.

„Aren‘t you feeling well Junhyung? Your face looks so red, is there something I can do for you that you feel better? „I was always scared of what you‘ll say so I was hiding it.“ Hyunseung looked confused he obviously didn‘t understood what Junhyung was about to say.

„I can‘t drag it down anymore“ thought Junhyung then he pushed the shorter one who stood up too, against himself and kissed him gently.

“We try to hide our feelings, but we forget that our eyes speak.“