Real chapter name is : "A Butterfly in the rain"

“Never have I ever felt that I actually belong within a group of friends. I‘m usually the one that is just there.“

19th of April 2014

„And after he said that he would‘ve fallen for someone new, he just left?“

„Yes without saying anything else and without looking at me.“

„Gosh that doesen‘t sound like Hyunseung at all.“

„Well sometimes he can actually be like that but I never blamed him cause it isn‘t his fault.“

„Why does depression even exist? It just ruins the life of everyone who has it and the people who are close to that person.“

„I know right. Seungie is already really sensitive and easily hurt, so why had this ing illness to appear“ Junhyung looked out of the window to all the rain that still was falling down, trying not to burst out in tears and rage again. While Gikwang had an Idea that maybe could make his bandmember a little happier, and Kiki began to sing.

On Rainy Days ♪♫♫ I know that it's been so long, and i admit that i was wrong. The one at fault was me. But i can't seem to run away, thinking about it every day. I can't forget these memories.♫♪♪

It seemed to work, because Junhyung wasn‘t staring out of the window anymore, a little smile hushed over his face and then he also began to sing.

On Rainy Days♪♪♫♫ Though I shouldn't be surprised, that there's teardrops forming in my eyes. Why did I sit here and watch you walk away? I thought that time would help me heal All this pain I have to feel. But I'll always remember the days.♫♪♪♪

Then both continued singing with the main part.

On Rainy Days♫♫♫♪ When the rain starts falling, you are here with me. Through the night you are all I see, but as I come closer you would disappear so I know that you were never really here.♪♪♪

19th of April 2014

Hyunseung was sitting on his balcony, watching the city lights shining bright even at Night, and the heavy rain that was falling down. He somehow looked even more thin than he already was.

He wasn‘t sure if he should give Jun the letter or not, but he did prefer to not give it to him, because he dosen‘t want to bother him anymore. Hyunseung had been all the time pretty sure that if he and Junhyung broke up, he would feel at least a little bit better, ‚cause the buden of draggin Jun down and making him sick too, would be fading away and that would be a good thing.

But actually HS felt as if his whole world would fall apart and his heart had been rip off out of his chest. As sparkling tears began to run down his face he remembered the lyrics of a beautiful song that is about rain, which Junhyung wrote ofcourse.

On Rainy days ♫♫♪ I'm trying hard to keep it in, I don't even know where to begin, why you're doing this to me. This feeling that I can't explain, what's the use now anyway? I can't fight this emotion.♫♫♪♪

The sining helped him a little bit to feel better and so he continued it.

On Rainy Days♫♫♪♪ Although I have tried so hard, you had to leave me in the dark. Now we are Strangers and thousand miles apart. I thought these rainy nights would flush. All these memories of us, but I'll always remember because, when the rain starts falling you are by my side, and I'm left with no place to hide. All the pain I suffered, it never goes away. I'm reminded of you on the rainy days.♫♫♪♪♪

Right after he finished his singing, he went to desk where he put the letter to Junhyung. As he reached the desk he stared at the letter, and had to make a choice. He didn‘t wanted to give Junhyung the letter -atleast not now. So he began to think if there was someone reliable, who could keep the letter for some time and also who could do him a favor. One name came into his mind. One person that could change everything that happened between Hyunseung and Junhyung. The thin one went to his living room, took his Smartphone from the couch and called Son Dongwoon.

19th of April 2014

It was a rainy and sleepless night for Dongwoon who had still had been sitting at his balcony at 3am. He was suprised at a harsh sound made the silence dissapear. His cellphone was ringing.

„Who the hell is calling me at this time“ said the maknae of Beast kinda mad, but that feeling was completly gone as he saw who was calling him.

„Hyunseung hello. What a time to call me“ while saying this he smiled all over his face and his heart began to beat very fast.

„Hey Dongwoon. I am truly sorry for this late call but I….“ Dongwoon didn‘t gave him the chance to finish his sentence „Ah don‘t be sorry. You can call me whenever you wan‘t“ Dongwoon noticed a little embarrassed that he sounded like a 14 years old teenage girl that was deeply in love with a boygroup star. Well one fact from this was actually true.

„Ah thank you Dongni I wanted to ask you if you could do me a favour?“

„For sure everything you want“ and there was the 14 years old teenage girl again.

„I will act like I‘ve fallen in love with you.“

„What?

Butterfly♫♫♪ So I can see you no matter how far away you are and I‘m okay with that. So you can beautifully fly away. My butterfly, my butterfly, my butterfly I hope it doesen‘t take too long.♫♫♪

21th of April 2014

Dongwoon was sitting on his balcony with a book in his hand, like he always did when he had freetime. Currently he was trying to improve his Japanese while reading Japanese books actually he was kinda good at concentraiting on things like that but this day he just couldn‘t, because his mind was still thinking of that phone call he got from Hyunseung two nights ago.

19th of April 2014

„Seungie I don‘t excactly understand what you want me to do for you.“

„Junhyung… and I we broke up.“

Did he listened carefully or did he just imagined that Hyunseung and Junhyung broke up?

„Wait what did you just say?“

„Do you still know that what I‘ve been diagnosed with…already a long time ago“ the way he said that with his weak voice sounded like a question. Depression! As if he could forget that.

„Yes ofcourse I know that Hyung.“

„…I started to make him sick too. He couldn‘t stand me anymore. So I deci...ded..“ Dongwoon heard how Hyunseung bursted out in this and something in the background made a heavy noise as if something fell down at the ground. The tallest Beast member had panic that his Hyung possibly could get hurt and asked immediately with a hysteric sound in his voice „Hyung are you okay? Did something happend? Are you hurt?“

He heard a weak laughter trough the phone, what made him even more worried.

„Everthing‘s okay my dear“ answered Hyunseung finally. ‘My dear‘ these two words made the heart from Beast‘s maknae race. If it hadn‘t been in the night Dongwoon‘s head would‘ve been as read as a tomato because he was blushing so much.

„Really? Or shall I come to your apartment? By the way what was that noisy sound?“

„You don‘t need to come her it‘s okay, I wanna be alone for a while. The noice came from the photos I smashed down.“

„What photos?“

„From Jun and me.“

„Oh, but don‘t do something that you could regret later.“

„Sure.“

„Before I forget to ask again, what do you want me to do for you?“

„Ahhh….I‘m so tired. Let‘s meet at Monday at 5pm in the cafe. Okay?“

„Sure then sleep well Seungie. See ya.“

„Thanks you too. See ya.“

21th of April 2014

He stared at the clock, while lying on the couch and watchingTV, waiting the time would go on a little faster, so that he could finally meet Hyunseung. It was 3pm so he still had two hours left. He was so tired he couldn‘t keep his eyes open.

Dongwoon must‘ve fallen asleep, because his doorbell was ringing. He fell from his couch and looked at the clock. Dammit 5:20pm. He hushed over to the door opened it and looked into Hyunseungs face.

„Did you sleep well“ he asked and smiled. „I am so sorry Seungie, I fell asleep“ Dongwoon bowed down a little. „No problem Dongni. Can I come in?“ „Ah sorry, ofcourse you can“ the maknae was somehow nervous everytime Hyunseung was nearby.

The older one took off his shoes and followed Dongwoon into his living room.

„Sit down please. Do you want someting to eat or drink?“

„No thanks.“

„I have Hamburgers here.“

„Well then I want a Hamburger for sure!“

Dongwoon knew how much his Hyung loved to eat Fast food even if he never gained weight but Hyunseung was eating Fast Food pretty often. „Allright, I just have to warm the Hamburger a little up.“ „Thank you.“

It didn‘t even seemed that Hyunseung chewed because the Burger was gone immediatly.

„So Seungie tell me now what you couldn‘t tell me two days ago because you were too tired.“

„Fine, so you know I broke up….. with Junhyung..“ his voice was still shaky when he talken about their break up. „...because of my disease and ofcurse I do still love hi and I guess he still loves me too but I just want him to be happy, and he could never be happy when he‘s with me. I just can‘t give him happiness. So I was thinking that the easiest way for Junhyung to be over me would be if he started to hate me. And I am pretty sure he would start to hat me when I would confess my love to another one even when I told him we broke up because of my sickness.“

To be honest Dongwoon was kinda speechless. The very first thing that he was thinking when he heard of their break up was that he now could have a little bit of a chance to get closer to Hyunseung and forsure not only the level of a friendship. It hurted to hear that they both still loved eachother, it hurted him ever since they have been a couple. He noticed their eyecontact, their kisses, their hugs all the things they had just with eachother in common, it all hurted Dongwoon so much. It was never like he wouldn‘t wish them to be together, actually he thought they were a good couple.

They looked good together, they had so much in common, their personalities were kinda similiar too they always seemed to understand eachother, well but now they were just over and Dongwoon was happy about that. Beast‘s Maknae clearly had a problem, he wanted Hyunseung and Junhyung to be together, because they just belong together and he was also very sure they could solve their and Hyunseungs health problems, but on the other side was Dongwoon deeply in love with Hyunseung since he could think. He didn‘t knew what to do. Should he really help Hyunseung to destroy his own “Happiness“?

He couldn‘t imagine how Hyunseung could be happy without Junhyung, same for Junhyung without Hyunseung. The Rapper always seemed unfriendly, not caring and maybe even stone hearted but actually he was the whole opposite from that. He was really caring, kind and sentimental, which meant that he was perefect for Seungie. The depression can‘t just destroy that, they could look for more professional help again, it has to work with the two of them. Maybe one day Hyunseung could win against the depression ar at least learn how to live with it.

„Dongni“ aren‘t you going to answer me?

„What? Ohhh I‘m sorry I was in my mind.“

Hyunseung laughed „You just looked like I do most of the time.“

„Seungie…. about you and Jun….I thought he would…“ the doorbell was ringing and didn‘t let the Maknae continue his sentence.

„Wait a moment I will continue after I was at the door.“

21 of April 2014

After Junhyung was talking and singing with Gikwang he spent the most of his time to write and create new songs. Now he wanted the opinion from their groups maknae. He still didn‘t knew how thei work as a group could be continued as good as before but that wasn‘t important at the moment, he just wanted to show Son Dongwoon his new songs.

He ringed the doorbell. The Maknae opened the door and looked like he had seen a ghost. „Ohhh uhhm Junhyung.“ Junhyung was very confused about that reaction, he couldn‘t believe what he saw behind him, Hyunseungs shoes. Then he heard a very familiar voice.

„Dongni? Who is it?“

„Hyunseung“ thought Junhyung. So Dongwoon was the person he‘s been fallen for, he also called him with a stupid nickname. Dongwoon‘s reaction said it all they were a couple now.

Butterfly♫♫♪♫ Please come back, don‘t leave me, were the easy words I couldn‘ even say, because your wings that fly away from me were so beautiful.♫♫♪