At this time my house should be empty. My mother had mentioned something about a sewing club or something similar, Ahra told me she would be with her friends to study and dad is at work.

I open the front door and put my backpack on the floor, then I look at each room in search of... I do not even know what. Maybe something strange.

I enter the kitchen and control every cupboard, shelf, pantry, but besides the pots, the dishes and the food there is nothing that draws my attention. I do the same thing in the living room and in the bedrooms, but I find nothing. I'm going to stop in my search when I find out there's a place I did not get in.

I get close to my parents' bathroom door. Usually I do not get in because I have my personal bathroom but, if my parents hid something from me, this would be the perfect place.

I enter the room and look in the cabinet next to the sink, opening every door but inside, beside of my mother's cosmetics and my father's products, nothing seems strange. I turn to the mirror, where there are two doors, and Iook inside.

"What the...?" I take out one of the many white bottles and try to identify the name, but it's unknown to me. I take a photo with my cell phone and put the pills where they were before leaving the bathroom.

"I have to go to a doctor... Now!" I run to the ground floor and, without the slightest care, I run out of my house, heading to the drugstore in the neighborhood.

This is a psychiatric drug. It is given to patients suffering from delusions and hallucinations.

I keep repeating these words in my head. A medicine to give to those who believe to see things that are not there, which confuses fantasy with reality. And we keep it in our house. Apparently, my parents are giving it to someone. If Heechul and the others talked to the masculine, they certainly did not refer to Ahra.

I'm crazy. I'm ing crazy! How do I not know what happens to me? How they manage to give me the pills? What is that I confuse as reality?

Outside the pharmacy I can not move. I'm paralyzed on the spot, in doubt about so many things and broken. I do not understand why they keep this hidden from me, or why my friends know everything. I feel betrayed and isolated from who should love me.

I feel something wet slipping down my cheeks and when I touch them, I realize I'm crying. I do not care that the people who is passing by sees me with impatient and indifferent looks; I collapse to the ground and embrace my legs, venting out that sorrow, that despair that has attacked me.

"Kyuhyun?!" I hear a voice continuing to call me, but I do not react. How could I, if I do not know what is real and what does not?

"KyuKyu!" Yells this time while shaking my shoulders.

I raise my head, recognizing that voice but needing to see with my own eyes that it's him, it's Jongwoon the one calling me.

I hear my friend's hands dry my eyes as he continues to murmur words of consolation. But for whom? For a person who does not know anything about nothing?

"Kyuhyun, what happened? Why are you crying? Who hurt you? "

I sigh of relief, having the certainty that it is Jongwoon and that, as every time I need it, he is comforting me.

I embrace him and hide my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his perfume, looking for something that can calm me down. He lets me do it and caresses my hair, cuddling as if I were a child that, in fact, is what I am now.

I do not know how long it has been since I left the pharmacy, but when I'm completely calm, Jongwoon advises me to go home and even if I do not want it, I accept. I know I saw what I did not have to see, but my parents do not know it, and I do not want to tell them. At least not until I fully understand the situation.

"You are a strong boy, Kyuhyun, and nothing can throw you down. Fight, always, even when you believe your battle is over. And do not worry: I'll always be at your side", murmurs Jongwoon, taking my hand and starting to walk to my house.

"Hyung, I'm sorry you came to me instead of going where you had to go", I whisper, looking at him.

"Don't worry, I've come for you", he says, smiling.

I'm glad he was the one who found me and helped me in this collapse because otherwise I would still be in front of the pharmacy. With only his presence, he was able to calm me down, to appease my sense of despair. But despite this, there is something that puzzles me: how did he know where I was, if I did not tell anyone?

I have to talk to someone about this discovery. In short, it is not something to be taken lightly, especially if we are talking about my mental health.

My parents are out of the question and so is my sister. I can not even trust my friends because they are involved too.

"Jongwoon", I suddenly think before going out of school and heading to his university just as the bell sounds, signaling the end of the lessons.

When I get in front of the gates, I start looking around to make sure nobody sees me. I see the blond hair of my hyung beside a willow in the outer garden of the building.

I go to him running, attracting some laughing jokes from the boys and even curious looks. I do not care about anything. Now I just want to vent out everything with Jongwoon and hear his own opinion.

"Kyuhyun", he murmurs, as soon as he sees me in front of him with flushed cheeks for the race and the heat.

"Hyung", I answer before sitting down against the trunk of the tree and breathing deeply.

"Why are you here?" He asks as he takes his seat beside me.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder, in the shadow of the willow, seems to be back a couple of months ago before everyone changed. Before the start of my nightmares and of the distance between us.

I looked at him and smiled. With him, I always find great peace, whatever situation I'm facing.

"You know hyung, I think I'm lost." He raises an eyebrow, curious about the choice of my words. "I do not know who I am, or who are the others, if for that."

"Why…?"

But I do not let him finish the sentence. "Yesterday afternoon I discovered in the bathroom of my parents some drugs, to be precise, psychiatric drugs. They do not assume them nor my sister. The only one remaining... is me. "

"Or maybe they have them since long ago and nobody takes them anymore", he advises. Always good my hyung. He always think the best of everything.

"No. I'm sure of it. Yesterday morning I heard my name and the word 'medicines' in the same sentence. I asked a pharmacist what they used for those drugs and he said that they are for people who have serious disturbances, including hallucinations and delusions", I replied with certainty. "I do not know anything anymore, hyung. I do not know what is real and what is the work of my imagination. Is all this around me real, or is it just a product of my sick mind?" I take my head in my hands and sigh.

Jongwoon remains silent, probably giving me the time to calm down, something I need at this moment. He places his arm over my shoulders and clings to me. I could swear it's like embracing the air. I smile at the thought. Yes, I'm really gone out of my mind.

"Kyuhyun... Did you ever think that the crazy people were them and not you? I mean, you know that you are normal or at least you thought it until yesterday. And if all this was planned to make you crazy? Maybe they don't want you in their lives. You told me, too, how your parents fought because they would have preferred not having you. And also how your friends do not endure you, especially when you prove them to be a genius. How are they behaving this time with you? What are they still doing?"

"They... ignore me. Or at least avoid talking when I'm near. I see my parents only at dinner, and often, not even then. My sister is always out of the house, I never see her. And my friends... But hyung, they seem worried about me." I look at him before resuming talking.

"I mean, my mom, when I have nightmares, comes to make me fall asleep. Heechul continues to invite me to his home, even when I do not want to go out. Hyung, they couldn't want to hurt me."

"What about Minha? Is not she always the one that shows his hatred for you? Kyuhyun, you're not the problem; they are", he says seriously as he looks in the distance.

Why can I feel so much hatred towards the world coming from him? It was not like this a few months ago. He laughed, smiled and never complained. Now it seems he wants revenge. But, it's been a while since he talked to me about him. Why? Does he has nothing to tell me?

"Kyuhyun, what's up? Why do you ignore us? It's been a week since you stopped talking to us, that you came to our gatherings..." Eunhyuk murmurs placing a hand on my shoulder and turning me to him.

We are in the middle of the school corridor leading to the canteen. During these seven days I avoided like the plague to enter that place, but this morning I did not eat the breakfast my mother gave me and I did not even take the lunch she had prepared.

I can deny how much I want with Jongwoon, but his words have begun to do their job, throwing me into deep doubt. I do not trust anymore what my mother cooks for me; I have to see with my own eyes that my dishes are filled from the same pot where my family's food is. I avoid my friends and their calls, and when I see them near me, I walk straight, pretending not to see them.

I haven't seen Jongwoon anymore, but every day he writes to me, wondering how I am feeling. He no longer mentions what he has said to me, but I know that from my answers, he understands what he did to me.

I look at Eunhyuk before I shake off his hand and move away from him and Donghae.

"Oh, now you openly express your concern for me?! I'm not a child, if you have anything you want to protect me from, tell me! You only are false friends because the real ones tell you things as they are and they do not let you alone in the dark!"

My outburst of anger surprised them and in front of their confused eyes, I smile mockingly. I never wanted so much to see someone suffer as much as I am doing.

They do not know what it means to feel betrayed, lost and suffering. I want them to experience those feelings that have been my company for a week.

"Kyu-Kyuhyun... I..."

"Saved your breath, Donghae", I look at them with disapproval. "I thought I could always rely on you, but apparently I was wrong. Jongwoon was right."

"What does Jongwoon has to do with this?" Questions Eunhyuk.

"He told me the truth. He revealed to me that you do not bear me and now I see it clearly", I say acidly.

"He told you the truth, huh? And how he would do it, tell me..." I know that Donghae is shaking his boyfriend's arm, maybe afraid of something, maybe scared that he could beat me. Eunhyuk frees himself from his grip in a violent way. "No Hae, I will not stop today. He thinks we're ing playing with him, leaving him alone too! Does he wants us to tell him the truth? Well, I'll tell him!" He says aloud before turning to me.

"After what I will tell you, I want to see who you believe to. If it's 'your Jongwoon' or your friends." He breaths and looks at me seriously, making me shiver. "I do not think Jongwoon could have told you those things about us, nor did he tell you the truth, since it started all after that day."

"That day? What are you...?" I can not finish the sentence because the memories come to my mind, stuffing it with horrific images of me, kneeling on the ground in the middle of a street, with Jongwoon's head on my legs and the rest of his body lying on the ground.

What makes me want to scream, to cry and to vomit is the puddle of blood that is under our bodies. I start to struggle for air.

"Kyuhyun, it's time for you to know, for you to remember what happened three months ago... Jongwoon is dead", Eunhyuk murmurs before hugging me and starting to cry.

I do not move. I'm paralyzed by his words, but above all by my memories. His blood... Jongwoon's blood on my hands as I scream not to leave me alone, to get back to me, cursing the sky for taking the only person capable of making me feel happy, alive; for taking my angel.

"Are you feeling better?" Questions Donghae worried, making me sit on the floor near the lockers, with Eunhyuk imitating my action.

How can I answer, if what his boyfriend revealed to me is devastating? I discovered that my best friend died, probably in my arms if my memories were clear, and that throughout all this time I have talked... to the wind.

I feel that Eunhyuk has spoken a few words before being interrupted by a newcomer, which I would rather have not seen.

"What happened to him? Why is he in that state?!" Heechul shouts, crouching in front of me and.

"Kyu, are you alright? Do you want something?"

"..." I open my mouth but no sound comes out.

"Why is him like this? What happened?" I hear him ask the two guys with us.

"I... We were... discussing and I... I told him the truth", Eunhyuk explains.

"WHAT?!" He turns to look at me, takes my hand and starts to caress it. "Kyuhyun, it will be all right. You…"

"Home", I whisper, arousing the attention of my friends who look at me hopefully. "Alone... I want you to leave me alone", I add quickly."..." I see them looking in the eyes. "Sure Kyu, we're taking you home now. Come on", replied Donghae, pulling me up and placing my arm around his shoulder as he hugs my waist.

We walk out of school, under the surprised look of our mates. Why should I care about what they think, if they have seen me talk on my own all alone? I grit my teeth. They should have told me before, not letting me become a laughing stock for the whole student body, if not even the teachers.

I lived for three months in the dark, like a blind man who sees nothing. Sure, not for my will, but because my loved ones have decided to deprive me of the sight, the only thing that could have caused me to live the last year of school in a decent way.

I trusted my instinct and what I believed to see, but in reality it was all an illusion. I've always been alone and in the eyes of the others, I staggered in the darkness, unable to see where I was going.

Of whom will I ever trust, if those who I thought loved me were selfish? And the only person who had my deepest trust is... gone.

"He doesn't drink, nor he eats... The doctor said to wait, it's normal to react like that... I do not know what to do and you're never home!"

It's been three days since I came back home from school and shut inside my room. Three days in which my only company are the birds that chirp on the tree in front of my window. Three days in which my mother and my father keep quarreling, causing angry outbursts to my sister, stressed enough by the situation at home and at school.

The teachers, and even some of my mates, often call to know how I am feeling. Tsk, hypocrites. They never cared about me, either before and after the accident. They are like vultures flying around dying animals, waiting for them to fall to a lifeless carcass. But I will not give them this satisfaction. To nobody.

Yes, I am wounded, hurt and fragile, but I will stand on my feet on my own and when I do, I will leave this dungeon full of selfish predators. I'm not crazy and I'll show it to everyone.

"If you do not want to come back for me, do it for your son! He needs his father!" My mother yells from downstairs.

I feel knocking on my door and as usual, I do not answer. I know it's my sister, and I know what she wants.

"Kyu, are you alright? You do not have to listen to them... Everything will be back to normal and we... you'll be smiling again", Ahra murmurs from the corridor.

I smiled bitterly. "You know noona, I always thought that a family was a safe place, where you could be who you wanted, take refuge when you needed..." I wiped a tear, the nth one since I have locked up here. "But it's not like that. The facts show the opposite, and you know how much I'm obsessed with evidences, like a real scientist... Stop saying that everything will be fine, because it will not be so. You will all continue to think that I am crazy and eventually you will hospitalize me for mental illness. Mom and dad will not stop arguing and will get separated. You will go your way, leaving this family behind. And you know what the funny thing is? That you will blame each other, but in the end there is only one who has the blame: myself. If I had not forced Jongwoon out of the house even with the snowstorm... If I had not been so egoistic... he would still be alive and we would be a united family. I'm sorry, Ahra, for taking away from you the joy of having a normal family", I murmur with a breath, wiping my tears.

On the other side of the door I no longer hear my mother's screams, only the sobbing of my sister who calls me, begging me to let her in. Why should I do it when they themselves locked me in?

I decided to end this chapter like this because Kyuhyun discovered about the drugs and we see how he reacts, and in my opinion it is so much for a single chapter.

Now, the real question is: who is Jongwoon? Why does it seems like he hates to death those close to Kyuhyun, Minha included? And why does Kyuhyun never, for a second, questioned the existence of his best friend? If you want, answer the questions in the reviews.

Anyway... I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that you keep reading :)