The loud music is deafening, the windows tremble as well as the floor. Everything around me is chaotic; the crowd of people dancing following the rhythm, gathered in the center of the dance floor, the chairs facing all sides, the tables dirty and full of glasses and plates.

I sit in the corner of the room, not far from the people but at a safe distance, looking at the scene that happens before me. I wonder for the hundredth time what am I doing here. I mean, I'm not a party-people,actually, if someone were looking for me on a friday night, he'd find me lying on the bed with my pajama on and doing something pretty nerdy.

Yes, I'm a boring person, but that's what I am and I can not change, not even if He asks me. And with 'He' I don't mean God.

Kim Jongwoon is the one who brought me here. He is my best friend. One of his college colleagues has organized a party and invited him, so my friend extended the invitation to me too. Why I will never know.

The only thing I know is that I'm hiding in the shadow of the room while he's somewhere doing what god knows, maybe even talking to someone. Yes, definitely something I would not do. How are we friends, if he is so different to me? I never asked him to take me here or to make me feel something 'amazing and fun'. Tsk, amazing and fun my .

I'd like to know why college kids are thinking mostly of parties, getting drunk... I just hope not to be like them next year, when I'll be a freshman and I'll be going to live that environment.

I take a sip of my glass of orange juice before I adjust my eyeglasses on my nose and let my eyes shed on the crowd of people, looking for Jongwoon's black and messy hair.

As soon as I arrived he came to talk to me, but when the party got serious, he disappeared and I have not seen him since. Of course he is quick enough to forget about his friend.

I know all the people that are here, but I've never talked with them and I'm not going to start now. No, not because I'm arrogant, but because I do not like talking to 'strangers'. Weird, I know.

"Smile! We are at a party... and there are people worse than you", a friend of mine called Heechul yells, pointing to a girl with a sad expression in her face sitting in the furthest and darkest corner of the room.

"We should be friends", I reply still looking at the red-hair girl. "I could met someone to share my frustration with."

That said, I get up and approach the girl, hoping she will not deny me her company. I really need someone to talk to and Jongwoon is out of question.

"Hello", I say, sitting down on the chair in front of her.

The girl raises an eyebrow and in her eyes I see a veil of sadness.

"What do you want?"

"Oh... do we know each other?"

"Are you idiot? I'm Minha, Jongwoon's best friend", she says angrily.

The resentment I hear in her voice moves something inside me, but I can not understand what. I wonder if I've ever done something wrong or being disrespectful to her, without being able to find an explanation for her tone.

"Sorry, I'm not good with his friends..."

"Oh well, neither he was."

I notice sarcasm in her words and caught the use of the past. I look into her eyes and see them empty, soulless, as if all the happiness that had had disappeared... As if she had lost something very precious.

"It's all your fault. And even if the others told me to not annoy you, I will not listen to them. You deserve to experience our same pain, if not quadrupled... Your hands are drenched with his blood and your conscience is dirty", she said, glaring at me

I do not understand anything she said. What did I do? Who is the blood that dirties my hands? As much as I can remember, I do not get her words.

Just when I'm going to ask for explanations, as soon as I raise my face from the ground, the chair in front of me is empty. I look around, but I can not see her anywhere.

I sigh and stretch my legs below the table.

"Hey, are you bored?" I hear someone asking me behind my shoulders.

I turn around and standing in front of me there is Jongwoon, all smiling and cheerful. I wonder how he is all so cool after spending the last two hours dancing.

"Want the truth? Yes."

He nods and sits by my side, pushing an arm over my shoulders and laying his head against me.

"Cheer up, Kyunnie. You live once, take advantage of it", he says almost murmuring to my ear.

"Exactly. There is not only fun, there are other things, probably more important."

"We are the ones that give value to things. If you do not live now, when there is not enough time to do so, when life comes to its end... then you will feel remorse for what you have not been able to do because you were too busy doing other things that did not give you happiness."

Why is he making these philosophical talks? He never did it. I turn my head towards him and I see him smiling sadly and not even this is typical of him.

"Are you okay, Jongwoon?"

"..." He looks up from the floor and looks into my eyes. I can see in those black wells sadness and... regret? "I would be feeling better if I did what I should have done a long time ago", he answers in a mysterious way.

For a couple of weeks Jongwoon has given me this feeling of detachment, loneliness and remorse. I do not understand what's wrong and he, if I press on the subject, avoids answering me. Does not he trust me anymore?

"Hey, Kyuhyun!" I hear a ringing voice calling me.

I turn to the person who is looking for me and I observe him. He's a boy a few centimeters lower than me, with very sharp face features and high and pronounced cheekbones. I recognize him. He is one of the guys who always sit at the first row during our literary lessons, alongside Jongwoon.

"Hello..." I do not remember the name. Why do I always make a foul of myself?

"I'm Ryeowook", he replies, not surprised at the fact that I did not remember what was his name. "Do you want to sit next to me?"

I look strangely at him because, I mean, that place is Jongwoon's, not mine.

"No thanks, Woonie could get angry."

"Wo-Woonie?" I notice the paleness in his face and that he has glassy eyes, as if he was trying not to cry. "But he is d..."

"Kyu! Let's go to the lesson, the teacher is waiting for us", Donghae interrupts him by running the last steps that separated us.

I look at Ryeowook as he looks at the newcomer as if he was a crazy person. Yes, Donghae may seem a little... foul, but he's not crazy... I guess.

"Are you coming, Ryeowook?"

"Um, yes..."

We walk together to class, Ryeowook with his head bowed and occasionally casting me looks of disbelief and Donghae talking about Hyukjae and their anniversary.

"Kyuhyun."

I jump up from where I am, shouting and looking around to figure out where I am. When I see the door full of StarCraft posters I calm myself, trying to remember what I was dreaming but the only thing that comes to my mind is a voice that keeps murmuring my name.

I raise my hands to mess my hair, but something in them draws my attention. They are dark, as if they were dirty, but I remember going to bed clean. I reach the lamp in the nightsand and I turn the light on.

I scream. I cry like a maniac while I try to clean my hands on the sheets, but the blood continues to be there. I'm about to get out of bed to run into the bathroom when my mother enters my room, slinging beside me. She takes me in her arms and caresses my hair, cuddling me until I stop sneering. I did not even realize I had started crying.

When my breath is back to normal, she wipes my tears me and tuck me underneath the sheets again, which I realize they are clean, as if I had not tried to clean my hands with them a few minutes before. I look at my hands and find them clean, without even a trace of that scarlet liquid.

"Mom", I try to call her, but she puts her finger over my lips.

"It's all right, darling. It was just a bad dream, nothing more."

"My hands... They were red, as if there was..."

"Blood. I know, you told me yesterday. Do not worry, it was just a nightmare", she tries to calm me down.

We hug for quite a while, maybe an hour, and I finally reassure her that she can go back to dad. She nods and gives me a kiss on the forehead, then exits the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Now that I can think lucidly, I recognize the voice that called my name. Though it was full of anguish and affection, I know for certain who was calling me. But the question remains. Why does Jongwoon keep calling me in my dreams?

I walk to school like I was a zombie, without paying attention to what surrounds me.

Lately, my mornings are lonely; Jongwoon has, for some time, stopped from accompanying me as we did in the beginning, as his university is in the vicinity of my school.

I sigh, trying to remember the dream of last night that prevented me from falling asleep again, but the only thing that comes to my mind is the desperate voice of Jongwoon calling me.

"Kyuhyun."

Good, now I hear it even if I'm not sleeping. Or I'm too tired or I'm crazy, but I would not want to go and meet some psychiatrist.

"KyuKyu."

I stop. The Jongwoon in my dreams never calls me with nicknames.

I face him slowly and I find him in front of me smiling and at that moment it seems to see an angel. He has dyed his hair blonde, as he did a few years ago, and is wearing a tight white trouser with a beige t-shirt. The sun behind him gives him a mystical and ethereal air.

"Jongwoon!" I yell before hugging him strongly.

"Hey, we saw each other at the party last week... Did you miss me so much?" He laughs, caressing my hair.

I nod. "Where have you been?"

"I had some sort of procedures to run..."

"For your scholarship?" I ask, moving away to give him space.

He hesitates before answering. "Um, yes, yes." He puts his arm over my shoulders. "I'm taking you to class today."

And together we go to my school. As we walk, I keep talking and he is listening to me, every now and then caressing my hair. If it were not for this gestures, I would not even feel his closeness. It's almost as if he was not there.

"Well, we got here. See you, okay?" He announces when he stops in front of the building gate.

"Good lesson, hyung!"

"Same to you", and said this, he moves away as I continue to look in his direction, at least until he turns the corner.

I missed walking with him a lot. I really suffer for our physical distance and our emotional one. It almost seems he has closed me out and he does not want to tell me anything anymore.

I enter the hall and walk to my locker when a group of guys, standing in front of the classroom, draws my attention. Heechul, who should not even be here, is gesturing like crazy, pointing at my locker every now and then, while Hyukjae and Donghae shake their head dejectedly.

I'm about to approach them when I hear the effeminate guy say my name. Curious, I approach them without making me notice. I know it's wrong to listen to someone else's conversations, but I don't like the fact that I was mentioned.

"He is getting worse. We have to tell his parents", Hyukjae murmurs as he caresses the back of his best friend.

"I already did. They told me they increased the doses... but I think it's time to tell him", the eldest replies, turning his head slightly.

Our eyes meet and I see fear in his. But for what? Why were they talking about me and now about... someone they're giving something?

"Kyuhyun!" Heechul greets me as he approaches me. The other two follow him.

"Hey... Um, what are you doing here? Do not you have lessons?"

"I was passing by here to let the boys know that tonight we are watching a movie at my house", he informs me without stopping smiling. "You are also invited, of course."

"Oh thank you; I'll spend some time with Jongwoon. It's been a while since we talk", I reflect out loud, noticing Heechul's sad look.

"Heenim, I think your lesson is starting..." Begins to say Donghae, but is interrupted by a bitter voice, filled with hatred.

"Why do not you tell him? It is not fair that we are the only ones who suffer while he lives in his beautiful world!" Jongwoon's best friend suddenly appears.

"Minha, should not you be at lesson?" Hyukjae replies.

"Jungsoo told me to come and find Heechul."

"Good. Now that you've found me, you can go back to the classroom."

"Not without you. Come on or I'll talk to Kyuhyun about everything."

I see the backs of my friends stiffening and their frightened looks. I want to know what they are hiding, but Heechul, without saying a word, goes away behind the girl.

I look at Donghae and Hyukjae, ready to go to lesson hand in hand.

"You are not hiding me anything, do you?"

They stop their steps and the eldest of them turns around, without looking into my eyes but rather behind me.

"No."

"So what did Minha mean?"

"Oh. We prepared a surprise for tonight..."

He is lying to me, I take it from the tone of the voice, from his elusive glance, but I avoid making it known to him. I will investigate on my own.

Hello people!

I came back with this fanfic that I personally love. I mean, it's making two girls go crazy ;)

I would like to read your thoughts, theories about what is happening; who knows, maybe I can find inspiration or maybe someone will get what is happening.

That being said, I greet you.