Miscalculation

shallow ends of the mind, infinite depths of the soul

His father had returned, and with him returned the normalcy of the life Sang-hyuk had known. The next morning it was as if he had never left, his father sitting at the kitchen table while his mother cooked breakfast. The sound of clinking pans and his father silently sipping coffee were reassuring, and Sang-hyuk could feel his body calm despite how much his heart raced. It wasn’t that Sang-hyuk was surprised his father had come back so quickly, the amount of time he was gone always changing. No, it was a more foreign feeling, one that left him dazed and confused as he cautiously sat next to his father.

It was disappointment.

It had been short, but Sang-hyuk had come to really enjoy the short talks he had with Hong-bin, and a part of him had been excited to see him again. While he hadn’t been Hak-yeon, it had been a new experience to speak with someone who knew just as little as he did of the world, and to try and teach each other things they didn’t really understand. A part of him had even thought about introducing him to Hak-yeon the next time his friend came over, so he could show him off and prove he wasn’t scary. But to see his father here now…he knew it would all become a thing of the past, a useless fantasy he would force himself to forget.

No one could come in, no one could go out; while that rule obviously didn’t pertain to his father, he knew that he could never cross it.

He could never talk to Hong-bin again.

So, despite how much he wanted to poke his head in to try and get a quick glance of the man, he didn’t dare go near the office. For the rest of the short time Hong-bin stayed in his house, Sang-hyuk never once went near him. He really wished he did, for once ignoring all his fears as he shoved past his father just to say hi, to ask Hong-bin how he was and to see if he remembered he was supposed to ask back. He wished he had given him more hugs, or taught him more emotions and joked around enough to teach Hong-bin how to really smile; there were so many things he should have done while he was still innocent and free.

But it was all in the past, and the day he watched his father put Hong-bin in the car and drive away filled him with a wretchedness he couldn’t even begin to repress. That day, while his father’s back was turned, Hong-bin turned his head from inside the car to look to Sang-hyuk’s window, catching his eye. For that brief second, they stared only at each other, and Hong-bin raised his hand to wiggle his fingers goodbye. Sang-hyuk had wanted to wave back, but with his father so nearby, he ended up being a pathetic waste who did nothing but look away, and instead watched as Hong-bin continued to watch him until the car was out of sight.

He would have cherished the time they did have together more if he had known it would have been their last.

--

It was at least a week since his father had taken Hong-bin away, and Sang-hyuk had easily slipped back into normal routine. Every morning he woke up to birds chirping outside his window, the light that managed to filter through his curtains cascading across the floor in a dull glow. Each time he sat in his bed for a long while, staring at the wall in a blank daze, the soft blankets underneath his fingers unable to calm his mind that had begun to race since the day he met Hong-bin.

There was a whole world outside of his house, one that spanned millions of miles past the small patch of grass by his front door. One that went beyond wherever Hak-yeon lived, past the trees and the sky and all the people that walked along without any idea there were people hidden beneath. While he had imagined the world to be filled with so many possibilities, Hong-bin had showed him that there were still people who were as deprived and miserable as himself. It was a hard reality to swallow, and every time he tried to imagine the world and all of its freedom, he could only picture Hong-bin’s face.

He wondered how much his father knew about what Hong-bin’s master had done, and couldn’t help remembering the sound of his father’s grating voice screaming over him, the sound of fear laced throughout. How much did he know? He took Hong-bin away right after that; did he take him somewhere to get help? Or did he just return him back to that hell? He could still remember the confusion in Hong-bin’s voice as he asked how to hug, and he wished he had been strong enough to tell his father to leave him alone.

He sighed as he finally rolled out of bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly, and frowning when he didn’t hear the sound of pans in the kitchen, the house eerily silent. Did his father leave again? His mother was always in the kitchen when his father was home; if she wasn’t there, did something happen?

He felt time slow as he made his way to the kitchen, the world seeming to know what was waiting for him and doing what it could to ready him. The birds all fell quiet, the sun shining warmly through the windows, the breeze sweet and full of flowers and fresh grass; the sound of his feet gently padding against the wooden floor seemed to reverberate in his ears, mixing with the sound of his rapidly beating heart. There was no reason to be afraid, and yet everything around him seemed to scream at him to run.

He wished he had listened.

Because there, sprawled out in the middle of the kitchen, were the mutilated bodies of his parents. He gasped in silent horror as his chest compressed and his throat stopped, silent screams he couldn’t release his breath away. Nothing seemed wrong, the whole room a scene like any other morning; the rice cooker was beeping steadily, his father’s steaming coffee sitting on the table, the newspaper folded neatly beside it. It was so sunny and bright, dust particles sparkling like diamonds in the light, that Sang-hyuk couldn’t comprehend the brutal scene that contrasted so horrifyingly against it all.

His father’s throat was slit, the blood that trickled from the wound slow and steady as it pooled around his body. His face was pale, his body drained, and Sang-hyuk found himself unable to look away from the dead eyes that stared out, glaring and afraid. Whatever had killed him had left him terrified, and he had been unable to do anything but stare in horror. His mother…someone had been angry, and they had taken it out on her. Her body was ripped to pieces, severed neatly and cleanly, not a drop of blood anywhere. Her severed head was thankfully face down, her arms and legs scattered around her battered torso. It was truly horrifying, and Sang-hyuk couldn’t look away no matter how much he wanted to pretend it was all a dream.

And then he heard voices.

His body went on autopilot.

He bolted back to his room, slamming to his knees as he ripped the box out from under his bed, whipping out the small phone. He didn’t even register the numbers he pressed as he hurriedly crawled under the bed, silent tears running down his cheeks as he prayed for him to answer.

“Hyukkie!” came Hak-yeon’s cheery voice, and just the sound alone caused a broken sob to escape his lips. He frantically slapped a hand over his mouth, his heart beating against his chest as he began to hear voices filtering down the hallway, the soft sounds sending rivets of panic down his spine. There was only one reason why those people were here, and it seemed for now that they didn’t know he was here. He couldn’t chance anything, and he had to make sure they never found out.

Hak-yeon heard his cry, and the change in his voice was instant. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”

Only Hak-yeon would believe so, Sang-hyuk having called him on numerous occasions after his father hurt him. But never did Sang-hyuk want Hak-yeon not to jump to such a conclusion as much as he did now, suddenly hearing footsteps moving to his father’s office, the sound of glass shattering and things crashing so loud, and Sang-hyuk began to shake in fear. They were so close to his room, he could almost see their feet from his place under the bed, and his fingers dug deep into his cheek.

“H-Hak-yeonnie…” he whimpered, so afraid, and he could hear something crash on the other end.

“Don’t move. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

“N-no-” he tried, though Hak-yeon hung up before he could even open his mouth. He froze when he saw two pairs of feet enter the room, and he didn’t even dare to breathe as he saw them slowly walk around. They went to his window, his closet, his desk—maybe they didn’t know he was here? Maybe they thought he was out at a friend’s house, or outside playing? They didn’t know his father locked him inside the house, they would just assume he went out or—

He screamed when a face suddenly appeared, smirking triumphantly. “Found you.”

Sang-hyuk was too scared to react when the man stood up, too scared to even cry when the bed was lifted up and thrown to the side, the sound of splintering wood muffled. The whole world seemed muted as the same man bent down and ripped his phone from his fingers, his body useless as his arms were wrenched behind his back and his chin forcefully pulled up. He was only aware of the tears that streamed down his cheeks, his eyes widened in perpetual fear as he realized he was going to die.

He had woken up this morning just like any other—what happened?

“Well,” the man that took his phone said, laughing, “you must be a stupid little . Didn’t even think to call the police.” Sang-hyuk watched helplessly as he dropped the phone and crushed it with his heel, grinning mercilessly at Sang-hyuk’s pathetic whimpers. “You know, I got to give it to you. You really tried to hide.” The person holding his body in place laughed along, and Sang-hyuk could feel shame flooding his face. “Though you almost got away with it. Han Jae-myun never talked about a son.”

The hands around his arms grew tighter as the man stepped forward, pulling out a knife and placing it against Sang-hyuk’s throat. The blade was cold, placed right under his chin, and all Sang-hyuk could do was cry. He had never been so scared before, the man in front of him infinitely scarier than his father could ever have hoped to be. The man seemed to enjoy his fear, crouching down to Sang-hyuk’s eye level and leaning in closer, his smirk turning into a frown that only made Sang-hyuk finally sob freely.

The man’s hand shot out and grabbed Sang-hyuk’s chin, the knife forgotten on the floor. His fingers were hard, nearly drawing blood, and Sang-hyuk bit his tongue when the man shoved his hair from his face to get a better look. Sang-hyuk squeezed his eyes shut when the man let go, ready for the worst, only to hear the man chuckle, flinching when he felt fingers tickle his chin. “Well , who’d have thought?”

“What is it?” the other man asked.

The fingers tickling his chin stopped, trailing up to tap Sang-hyuk’s cheek playfully. “You remember that Han Jae-myun brought X39 to his house for a week, don’t you?” He waited until the other man answered uncertainly before he grabbed Sang-hyuk’s chin again, crushing it hard enough Sang-hyuk’s eyes were forced open. He wrenched Sang-hyuk’s head around so he was forced to look up into the eyes of the man holding him down. “Where do you remember seeing this pretty face?”

The man’s eye widened. “—that can’t be-”

“This kid was all over the borg’s memories. You know there were no kids with Moon-hyuk; there’s only one other place where it could’ve come in contact with one.” The man yanked Sang-hyuk’s chin down so they were staring at each other again, his grin so wide. “So, tell me kid, were you the one with X39?”  

Sang-hyuk blanked. These men speaking over him, he had no idea what they were talking about or what they were referring to; they mentioned his father a few times—were they people his father worked for? Against? His eyes blurred as he wondered just what kind of work his father had been doing, and if that was the reason everything was falling apart.

The man sighed when Sang-hyuk didn’t answer, rolling his eyes before playfully patting his cheek. “We’ll take him with us, just to be sure. If he is the one, we can suit him up and get him working. If not, we’ll kill him.” Sang-hyuk’s eyes widened in horror, though it didn’t seem to faze either of them as they dragged him to his feet, still holding his arms behind his back. He had no idea what was going on—what did they want from him? He didn’t know anything! He was just some little boy who lived in his parents’ house, did his work, listened well, stayed quiet. He never went out, never disobeyed; why was this happening to him? He wished they would just kill him; the idea of death seeming so much easier than wherever they were taking him.

They were just about to lead him out of the room when a loud bang from the front of the house stopped them all cold, and Sang-hyuk’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. There was only one person that would be.

“Who the hell-”

“Don’t hurt him-!”

“Sang-hyuk!” The two men yanked him back when Hak-yeon burst through his bedroom door, the latter stopping short at the sight of them. Sang-hyuk had always felt a mixture of guilt and love whenever he thought of Hak-yeon, though there was no love in that moment, overwhelming guilt crashing over him in waves at the sight of his beloved friend standing in shock. Hak-yeon’s eyes immediately flitted down to the knife in the one man’s hands before looking back to Sang-hyuk, and Sang-hyuk knew what he was going to do.

“Don’t, Hak-yeon!” he cried, surprising all of them as he shook his head fiercely. He knew Hak-yeon and the lengths he would go to save him, and he would never let that happen. Sang-hyuk had always been the one to follow, completely content with letting Hak-yeon always lead the way. But not this time. This was all his fault, and he would be the one to finally step up and protect his friend the way Hak-yeon had always done for him. “Don’t come any closer!”

The one man laughed, looking between the two of them while the knife in his hands. “Wait, was this who you called?” He eyed Hak-yeon with a sickening grin, his eyes flashing with recognition that had both Sang-hyuk and Hak-yeon frowning in confusion. “I see. Interesting.”

“Please don’t hurt him,” Sang-hyuk begged. “He’s my friend—he only came because I called him. He doesn’t know anything—please don’t hurt him!”

“Oh, don’t worry. We wouldn’t hurt such a pretty face.” The man behind Sang-hyuk groaned, and that only made the other laugh again. He seemed to find everything funny, and that made it all the more terrifying. “He can come if you want. You two can live together and live happy lives and all that other cheesy stuff you kids are probably into.”

“Sang-hyuk, what’s going on?” Hak-yeon tried to ask, flinching when the man pointed the knife at him.

“You don’t get to talk, unfortunately. It all depends on Sang-hyuk. If he says yes, then you can come along with us. If he says no, then we’ll have to kill you. It’s unfortunate, really. You’ve seen too much for us to just let you go.” He turned back to Sang-hyuk, his light tone contrasting against the deadly stakes he was setting. “So, Sang-hyukkie, what are you thinking? Do you want to bring your precious Hak-yeonnie or no?”

They all turned to Sang-hyuk, and he whimpered pitifully.

Hak-yeon had always been the stronger of the two, the one to put himself in harm’s way first to make sure it was safe. He was the one who stood up to Sang-hyuk’s father to defend him. He was the one who forced himself into an uncomfortable dinner, ignoring his mother’s empty stare, just to make sure Sang-hyuk was okay. He was the one who, without fail, would sneak over to Sang-hyuk’s room just to give him company. He was, he was, he was—Hak-yeon was everything, and Sang-hyuk followed along silently, holding his hand and watching his back.

Now, as Hak-yeon stared at him in confusion and the man waited for his answer, it was Sang-hyuk’s turn to finally become the strong one.

“Yes. I want to bring him.”

“Great! Then he can just hop in the car with us! Luckily we have an extra seat-”

“Sang-hyuk,” Hak-yeon interrupted again, still so lost with not a single one of his questions answered. He stumbled back when the man tried to grab him, crying out in alarm when the man’s hand clamped down on his arm. “What’s going on? Who are these people?”

“I-I’ll explain everything later,” Sang-hyuk managed, wincing when they began to herd them out of the room. He wasn’t sure what he would say or how he would explain when he barely knew anything himself, but he had to do whatever he could do to keep Hak-yeon quiet. These men were willing to bring Hak-yeon now, for whatever reason, but who knew how willing they’d be if Hak-yeon continued to annoy them. “I promise.”

Hak-yeon quieted down at the quiver in his voice, and despite how much the men tried to hold him back, he pushed himself forward to wrap his arms around Sang-hyuk in a comforting hug. It was a familiar warmth, a reassuring touch, and Sang-hyuk collapsed against Hak-yeon’s chest, his body wracked with the sobs he had been too afraid to let out before. His parents’ dead bodies, the terror under the bed, the fear with the knife pressed to his neck; all that time he had been too afraid to react, too scared to move, and now with Hak-yeon shushing him softly, everything came tumbling out.

Even now, Hak-yeon was the one protecting him.

He could feel Hak-yeon’s arms tighten around him when they walked through the hallway, his fingers trembling as they passed his parents’ bodies.

He would never be strong enough. He would never be able to step up and stand on his own.

They were pushed into a car, Hak-yeon holding him close and Sang-hyuk too afraid to pull away. The man slid in next to them before the car took off, and Sang-hyuk turned to watch as the little house that had been his entire world slowly disappear.

He would always follow.

--

Sang-hyuk held onto Hak-yeon’s hand like an anchor when they finally stopped, never leaving his side when they were eventually pulled out of the car. Even then, Sang-hyuk couldn’t help looking around in wonder, never having seen so many people and buildings before in his life. There were no trees here, no grass as rows upon rows of concrete lined the ground with hundreds of cars driving past. People were everywhere, bustling around as they moved with purpose, never even giving him a second glance. It was the world he had always imagined, but would never have the chance of ever enjoying.

Hak-yeon continued to run his hands down Sang-hyuk’s back, doing his best to soothe him despite not having any idea what was going on. It worked a little, Sang-hyuk able to keep somewhat calm as they followed the two men into the nearest building, though was unable to look away from the floor when they stepped inside. It felt as if everyone was staring at him, his skin prickling under the weight, and Hak-yeon’s grip tightened. He was so ashamed at how thankful he was to have Hak-yeon with him, his friend glaring back and taking the majority of the attention away from him.

He could hear the sound of the two men, neither trying to keep their voice low as one waved goodbye while the other took them deeper into the building. The building was as wide as it was tall, and it felt like going through a maze with how many times they twisted and turned through the halls. The man glanced back at them, chuckling apologetically. “Sorry about all this. We had to park in the back, so it’ll take us a minute to get to the front.” Neither he nor Hak-yeon answered, though it didn’t seem to bother the man, him just laughing again.

When they finally arrived in the lobby, the room a huge expanse of walls and elaborate flooring, Sang-hyuk couldn’t help but gawk at everything from the safety of Hak-yeon’s warm arms. As Won-shik spoke with the woman at the front desk, he ran his eyes over the tall, detailed ceiling in amazement at how anything could be so beautiful and vast, having never seen anything so big before. The world outside had been huge, yes, but this was a kind of overwhelming that he could actually wrap his head around, looking from the ceiling down to the painted walls, the plaster running and twisting in an explosion of colors and shades of beige and white and everything in between. He turned his eyes to the floor, scraping his shoe against the tiled floor and listening to the echoing sounds it made. His home had been made of nothing but cheap plaster and old wood; what else was out in the world?

Hak-yeon realized what he was doing and placed a reassuring kiss on his head, his arms moving up to wrap around his chest comfortingly.

It helped a lot.

The man thanked the woman and shook a key at them, taking a second to stare at how taken aback Sang-hyuk was at everything, a rare, conflicted frown passing over his face. “Your dad really kept you hidden, didn’t he?” Sang-hyuk didn’t respond, wasn’t sure how to respond, and the man sighed. “I’ll drop you off at your place and let you guys do your thing; don’t worry about anything for today. I’ll be here to pick you up at six tomorrow morning, so be ready.”

“‘Pick him up’?” Hak-yeon asked, refusing to move even when the man tried to lead them to the elevator. “What do you mean ‘pick him up’? Where are you taking him?”

“Hak-yeon, don’t,” Sang-hyuk whispered pleadingly, and Hak-yeon begrudgingly quieted down as they followed the man into the elevator. It was an uncomfortable air, the three of them alone as they stood on opposite ends of the small box. The man didn’t seem upset with Hak-yeon’s outburst earlier, smiling as he looked them over.

“You know, I don’t think I ever introduced myself. My name is Kim Won-shik. I’ll be in charge of you while we figure out what exactly makes you so important.” Sang-hyuk could barely hear what he said as he only stared at the small numbers continuing to go up, his stomach falling at the thought of how high up the building they were going. There would never be an escape, never a chance to run away. It was probably on purpose.

“Where are you taking us?” Hak-yeon asked instead, becoming the voice for the both of them.

Won-shik’s smile widened, and Sang-hyuk couldn’t help shivering at the sight. “Well, let’s find out.”

Won-shik was moving the moment the elevator doors opened, both Hak-yeon and Sang-hyuk scrambling after him. With nowhere to go and nowhere to run, their only link to the life they knew stood in front of them, and they couldn’t afford losing him. They followed him until they reached a door at the farthest end of the hallway, the bright glow from the overhead lights doing nothing to lighten the mood. Won-shik pulled out the keys from his pocket before opening the door, swinging his arm out in an attempt to be inviting.

“This will be your new home,” Won-shik continued once they stepped inside, a hint of defeat in his voice grabbing both Hak-yeon and Sang-hyuk’s attention. “It’s not the best, and you’re not going to get anything better, but it’s still a roof over your head. This is where you’ll be staying from now on.”

“What do you mean ‘from now on’?” Hak-yeon asked, faltering. “I—you brought Sang-hyuk and I here, but you haven’t explained anything-”

“See, this is where you need to learn,” Won-shik said, his tone dropping dangerously as he stepped forward, Hak-yeon instinctively stumbling back. “You don’t have a say in anything, Cha Hak-yeon. You’re only here because of Sang-hyuk, and even that is not guaranteed. From now on, you won’t have to worry about school, work, or money ever again. Everything will be taken care of; all you’ll have to do is stay here and not get in the way. As long as you do that, you’ll be just fine.”

Sang-hyuk felt a fire burn inside him hearing the way Won-shik spoke to Hak-yeon, his arms wrapping protectively around Hak-yeon’s waist. He crushed him furiously, possessively, though even then couldn’t dare open his mouth to defend him.

“But the moment you try and do anything funny, we won’t hesitate to kill you. For your sake, just do as you’re told.” He waited until he was sure Hak-yeon wouldn’t speak again before turning to Sang-hyuk, ignoring the way the latter flinched under his heavy stare. “As for you, be ready tomorrow morning. I’ll be coming to pick you up at six. I have a key, so don’t think you can hide again.” He waved the key for good measure before waving them goodbye, leaving just as abruptly as he had appeared, and the sound of the door closing behind him nearly made Sang-hyuk’s knees buckle.

Hak-yeon caught him the moment he felt Sang-hyuk slipping, and they both fell onto each other in a desperate hug, neither knowing what to do or say. Any walls that may have been put up were gone completely, Sang-hyuk bawling unabashedly as Hak-yeon crushed his head into his shoulder, shushing him softly. Even after everything and having his life threatened, Hak-yeon did not cry, so strong as he only comforted Sang-hyuk.

Hak-yeon carefully brought them down to the floor, gathering Sang-hyuk into his arms and leaning against the wall. They stayed that way for the longest time, together in a strange new world that left no room or time to become acquainted, so lost with only each other for support. Sang-hyuk cried until there was nothing left, so exhausted he could barely breathe. Hak-yeon waited all the while, his hands so soft as they ran down his back, and Sang-hyuk shivered when he felt Hak-yeon lean down to press a kiss to the base of his neck, so light and warm. “Are you okay, baby?” he asked gently.

Sang-hyuk just shook his head, his voice lost, and Hak-yeon kissed him again.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure this out together. I promise.”

Sang-hyuk wrenched himself back, his chest heaving when Hak-yeon only looked at him confused. “Don’t promise me anything,” he muttered, his attempt at ordering only sounding like a small whine. “It’s my fault we’re here. I-I should be promising you.”

“Sang-hyuk, how could this be your-”

“I-it’s because of that stranger my father brought home.” Hak-yeon paused, frowning, and Sang-hyuk had to look away. “I…I went back to my father’s office that day…after you left. I’d just wanted to make sure he was okay. But then we started talking and I saw how lonely he was. He was lonely like me, and I…I wanted to be friends with him. I wanted…I wanted to be like you for him.” Hak-yeon’s hands had slowly trailed down to his, his fingers loosely catching onto his own, and he hiccupped.

“Those men…they worked with my father. They found out I talked with that stranger and…everything happened because of me. Hak-yeonnie…everything happened because of me.”

“No, it didn’t,” Hak-yeon said fiercely as he grabbed Sang-hyuk’s face in his hands, his touch both gentle and firm. There was a pain in Hak-yeon’s eyes that Sang-hyuk had no idea of describing, a pain caused by repressing and overcoming, and he began to cry again. Because of him, Hak-yeon was forced into a life where he was tethered to Sang-hyuk’s side forever, never able to go out and have a life of his own. He would never be able to go outside, see friends, find a job, find a girlfriend, have a life—all because of him. Hak-yeon was supportive and kind now, but there was no telling what he was feeling inside, and it was all because he felt he had to help Sang-hyuk.

Because Sang-hyuk was useless.

Hak-yeon kissed Sang-hyuk’s forehead when he saw him spinning. “You did nothing wrong, Hyukkie. If those people worked with your father, then it’s his fault. You did nothing wrong, you understand me? Nothing is your fault.”

“B-but they only spared me because they said he talked about me…they were going to kill me until they noticed. I-it’s because of me-”

“No, it isn’t, and I don’t want to hear you ever say that again, okay?” Hak-yeon smiled sweetly when Sang-hyuk sniffled, running his thumbs over Sang-hyuk’s lashes and drying his tears. He was always so loving, so much more than his own mother, and Sang-hyuk felt his heart bursting. His mother was dead, would never be able to ignore him or hide in her room again, and while she had been incredibly absent his whole life, he couldn’t help but feel responsible. Hak-yeon sighed when fresh tears trickled over his fingers, and he pressed another long, lingering kiss to Sang-hyuk’s cheek.

“Baby…it’ll all be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Sang-hyuk reveled in Hak-yeon’s warmth, shaking his head as he tried his best to stop crying. “But because of me…you…”

Hak-yeon laughed softly. “Don’t worry about me. Remember, I promised you that I would never leave you. You’re stuck with me.” A shaky smile finally appeared on Sang-hyuk’s lips, and Hak-yeon ruffled his hair. “There’s only one condition—you’re not allowed to get any taller, you hear me?” Sang-hyuk let out a snort, for just one second able to forget everything as he grinned freely, Hak-yeon smiling along with him. “If you get any taller, I won’t be able to hug you like this anymore. So don’t even think about it, got it?”

Sang-hyuk nodded indulgently, and for that moment the world seemed just the tiniest bit brighter, the feel of Hak-yeon's lips on his own sending such warm waves down his body that he could do notbing but smile and wish time away.


Hello!

Sorry about the long wait. I've been busy and had writer's block (something I've noticed happens so much with this story, I'm so sorry), and I don't have any more prewritten chapters. So I'm not sure when the next chapter will be, but I'll try not to make you wait too long! I'm so thankful you're all still reading, I hope I don't disappoint!

Thank you for reading!

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kpopsavedme
#1
Chapter 32: Augh omg, so nice to see you!!! Life is keeping me real busy so I haven't had the time to catch up yet, almost forgot my login details but felt like checking all the same and SAW YOU UPDATED!?? (honestly when I'm finally free for the holidays I might just reread from the beginning cause I loved all of this) but just wanted to quickly say hi and it was such a pleasant surprise to see you in my updated!! I still think about you and your fics a lot cause they really resonated with me and I hope you've been doing well considering all the craziness going on!
kpopsavedme
#2
Chapter 31: Wow... I haven't been able to read much cause I've been busy with life and I decided to come back and check this out for nostalgia and hoo boy I'm glad!
This has really ramped up!! I'm just,, oh my god!!! Between the two chapters, with jaehwan convincing the other sponsors and junmyeon actually going through with it.. Poor hyuk is having such an emotional time but I'm so glad his genuine efforts are acknowledged in a way he never thought possible from the cyborgs. Their memories being returned and their true names revealed.. That is a bit of a twist I gotta say, though I'm really looking forward to what happened next now that they're much more lucid from having their memories returned... Even if this will cause more emotional outbursts and make them harder to work with, I think it was a good thing even if it's hard cause now they can both have a little more autonomy, and even though they'll still have to go through tests and other bad things lol, hopefully it'll change for the better, if only a little, now that they have their memories. I keep wondering about hakyeon though.. Will they return his memories. .. poor hyuk is terrified of what he'll feel towards him because he's still overwhelmed with guilt for what happened, but whatever happens at least he'll have hyuk and hongbin to hopefully be there for him
These chapters are amazing as always and I don't care if you take six months or six years to update because I'll always find a way back here to read what you've written! And, how have you been? I hope you're doing well and able to enjoy yourself, no matter how busy and hectic you may be <3
shikey #3
Chapter 31: No need to apologize for the time you take to write your story when you write sooo Beutyfully and you are so talented as well...
Sorry if I'm a silent rider and don't comment a lot,but i love your story a lot and you are so good at explaining the emotion of each character and ims so curious of what will happen next
kpopsavedme
#4
Chapter 29: Woooooooooowwwwww what a reveal!! I feel like even though I remember questioning things way back when about Hyuks parents, cause Hyuk was still a child the was still that naivety the flowed onto me as a reader. Him going through such trauma so young could've meant that his brain tried to fill in the blanks in ways he could understand so he just been going off of that, but now it's being revealed that the blanks were more than the quick mental jumps he'd do, often unconsciously, and that there's great ravines of secrets being hidden from him that he's glossed over entirely until someone pokes a hole and reveals the opening to all of it. It makes so much more sense now, was Hyuks mum modelled after his original mother? What happened to her originally?
Was hongbin smuggled into the office at home or ordered to be there?? It's interesting how there's that parallel of them both asking for the privacy of no cameras, and both having a cyborg in their home that ended with traumatic consequences...
Another awesome chapter, it's so exciting seeing this unfold and it's so cool seeing how much thought you've put into making sure each chapter is just how you've envisioned it, it sure paints a vivid memory in my mind!!
bakepon #5
Chapter 29: Can I ask something? Since Wonshik was the one who killed Sanghyuk's parents, and he met Sanghyuk when he's still a child, does that mean that there's quite an between Wonshik and Sanghyuk here? Or maybe it was hinted somewhere about their age and I just missed it lol

You don't have to answer if this is somewhat spoiler-y ^^
kpopsavedme
#6
Chapter 28: OK I LOVE SEEING HOW THE TWO INTERACT EVEN IF IT HURTS!!!!! God I just;;;; it's good seeing the Hakyeon has hongbin to confide in without it being dangerous to Hyuks mental health or to himself as information is passed on to the sponsors, that being said tho,, are interactions like these monitored? Web the two are alone are they recorded? Cause it's understandable if that's true but also,, poor Hyuk if he finds out. First hongbin lied about being fully reset to try spare Hyuk, now Hakyeon has been pulled into lying to help ease him... On one hand I understand but on the other,, what will happen when Hyuk finally snaps? It's been proven even to the sponsors now that his contributions are invaluable but he's also already so unstable, what kind of power does he have over not only the cyborgs but also the sponsors and his higher ups? It's almost as though the more he is unraveled mentally and put through this, the more power he has as he shows how important it is that he stays....
And man. Seokjin sharing that he trying to look out for his brother.. Is he a cyborg in early stages too or being confined to a house like Hakyeon was originally with Hyuk? This story gets so intense and intriguing and I love it!!!!!!!!
kpopsavedme
#7
Chapter 27: Wow.. I'm very late to this but wow.. right back into the drama of this! I can't believe how intrusive the sponsorship meetings are, it's understandable that it would've been weird and emotionally disconnected but that was wild. The craziest part though,, when Hakyeon came out and his parents reactions.... Esp hearing that there's other experimental tech bring made and not implemented, or at least not known to Hyuk. It was surprising to see that they still do care, and Hyuks reaction is... I don't even know what to say but I of course know where he's coming from and having to see all of this revealed while having to put a formal and distant face on is so much for him;;;;;
And your question about how it is to read from Hyuks pov, Hyuk is a confused person overwhelmed without everything he's forced to deal with, so of course it gets confusing at times but I'm really enjoying it because it's different to read such a limited perspective, and I'm drawn in because I have to find out things at the same time as him! It's made this so memorable!! Heck I had a little free time earlier and watched some old vixx stages to reminisce and error came on and after the wave of nostalgia I thought of this story because it's so complex and intriguing!!
Hopefully you're settled into your new job, and enjoying the festive season where you are (even if you don't celebrate any occasion^^)
shikey #8
Chapter 27: i mean hakyeon parent are sponsor they could easily decide for hakyeon to not get any more test
bakepon #9
Chapter 27: Welcome back! I miss this story a lot!

You see, since this story is Sanghyuk-centric I guess it's alright to write in Sanghyuk POV.. but I think it will be nice if we get sight of what other characters think, like Wonshik probably? This chapter actually makes me questioning about Wonshik's life, why he was there, what does he think of Sanghyuk and all the cyborg, and so on. But this is just my thought, the story is still yours so you're free to do what you want ^^v

Oh, and I'm going to re-read everything just in case I missed hint(s) of Taekwoon appearence :))
kpopsavedme
#10
Chapter 26: Wow.. a lot happened in this chapter. Honestly it felt like it was multiple chapters in the best way ofc, (probably also cause I've had to read this over a couple of days.. life is pretty busy now I'm finishing up school lmao) god,, do much happened I don't know where to begin!!! Everyone seems to be very different now hakyeon is a cyborg, is affected Hyuk and tbh I could kinda feel how distant he was from the scared kid he was at the beginning, it's very easy to see how he's hardened himself.. I wonder how Junmyeon and Wonshik feel seeing such a drastic change so quickly after Hakyeon. And the others, hongbin seems to catch on and is trying his best lol, but Hyuk seems very distracted now that he's managing Hakyeon, and T52.. I wonder what exactly Hakyeon has done or what he means to him to make his resets less frequent like that, I'm kinda nervous to see what happens if they interact, if nothing really happens they probably won't be allowed to see each other again which could be very bad for T52, but if something does happen to either cyborg... What does that mean for Hyuk and the cyborgs??? And why was there rules not letting the others see each other? So many new questions in the answers from previous questions I guess haha
Hope your move goes smoothly and you settle in well, thank you for writing such a long chapter^^