Maybe what should've been the worst for us, becomes the best.

Seulgi was happy. Was. She thought that falling in love with Eunae would help her move on from Irene. But, when they went out to eat, she only wished more that it was Irene sitting here across from her. Eunae helped a lot, Seulgi really hoped that she would be the one but, she just couldn’t. Eunae could feel it too. Eunae could feel the love slipping away from both of them. Maybe, sometimes love comes when you’re patient, but waiting too long makes that same love perish. Eunae knew that Seulgi waited too long. Their love couldn’t last. Seulgi was far too in love with Irene, she didn’t have the space in her heart to love another, and she didn’t have the courage to love Eunae as much as she could.

Irene was never happy. When she married her husband, she knew it was the end.

I stepped up to the altar, in front of the priest, holding hands with my soon-to-be husband. We turned to face each other and I looked up to see his eyes. They curved upwards and I mimicked the action. My eyes faltered when they met with Seulgi’s, when she was standing behind him. It felt real. It felt like I was making the biggest mistake of my entire life. The vows coming from his mouth was a blur to me. Seulgi’s eyes were the only things that I focused on, the pain coming from her eyes, made me even more hesitant. I looked back at my groom, and I plastered a fake smile on my face. He looked at me, but all I saw was content. Something was wrong with him and I just couldn’t tell what. The ceremony was almost over and the moment that I was dreading of, was arriving quickly. I looked into his eyes and he leaned in. I moved my head to the side and he kissed my cheek instead. I could hear the applause, but as I looked away, I saw Seulgi looking at Eunae and at that moment, I felt glad. Glad for the fact that Seulgi has someone else to love and she didn’t need to be in pain anymore, even if I have to live like this for the rest of my life. If Seulgi is happy, then that’s all that matters.

After the wedding, Irene found out that Seulgi had Eunae now and Irene was in pain. She knew that she had no right to be in pain, but she couldn’t help but regret, regret not loving her more, regret not holding on to her, and most of all, regret not marrying her. It’s been a couple months and all Irene could think of, was, if Seulgi’s missing her, or if Seulgi’s loving someone else better than her. She wondered if Eunae was taking care of Seulgi well, like how when she’s mad, she doesn’t directly say it or that she has a big sense of justice and will always stand up for someone. Irene was suffering. Her marriage is unhappy and she felt trapped. Her so-called husband was having an affair behind her back. All Irene could do was reminisce of her memories with Seulgi, since she’s happy with Eunae now.  

Seulgi tried. She tried to be happy but, she just couldn’t. She let Eunae go, she couldn’t keep her any longer when she knows that their love has faded. But her love for Irene was still there, and it never faded. Seulgi was a fool to push her feelings aside, and she thought that she was much too late for Irene. She knew Irene was married after all. Seulgi didn’t stay by her side, in the end, she left because the pain was too much to bare for a frail woman like herself. She’s been hurting for months now, and Seulgi knew that she had to go.

Eunae came in late to Seulgi’s apartment. She sees the woman sitting on her sofa, with her head in her hands bent over. Eunae knows at that moment, their short-lived love has finally come to an end. She took steps closer to Seulgi and sat next to her. She slowly put her hand on Seulgi’s shoulder. She asked if she still loves Irene, and Seulgi lifted her face, that was stricken with tears and shakily answered yes. Eunae knew that she had to leave. Eunae gave Seulgi a kiss on the side of her forehead and told Seulgi that she understands and she left. As soon as she walked out the door, a tear fell. But, Eunae knew it was for the best and her heart will recover because she can’t force someone to love, when they couldn’t.

Several months passed, Irene was fed up. She was trying to make her husband confess to his affair, but he hasn’t told her yet. Through all the lipstick stains and perfume on him, Irene could already tell. Irene knew that it was time to get a divorce because throughout her husband’s many affairs, Irene just wanted an out from their marriage.

Irene stood from the door and waited, she waited for her husband to come back from his current affair. She went to sit at her sofa, today was the last straw and she wanted out from this relationship. She was going to fight for her only love, than suffer through this one. The sound of footsteps leading to the door echoed throughout the silent apartment. Irene looked at the door, waiting for her husband. The door opened and her husband looked at Irene, his mouth opened to cry out another excuse for his late night, but before he could utter a word, Irene interrupted with a no. Her husband knew that a divorce would be coming. It was just a matter of when. He knew that Irene didn’t love him and he knew that she loves someone else. He could tell when they ate together and spoke together, he could feel the emptiness of the words I love you coming from . So, he had affairs with other women, to satisfy his ways of a relationship. Irene told him that it wasn’t working and she knew that he has been having affairs. She wasn’t shocked about his affairs, but she was shocked when her soon-to-be ex-husband agreed without her explaining anything. Her husband looked up into Irene’s eyes and said yes in an absolute tone.

Seulgi and Eunae have broken up by the time Irene divorced her husband. Seulgi was free but, she couldn’t help but feel trapped when all she wanted to do was love Irene. Seulgi left Korea and came to Thailand, because she thought that massages and alcohol could help ease her pain. They didn’t. Seulgi hurt even more because all Thailand could remind her of, was that it was the perfect place to spend a honeymoon, moreover a honeymoon with Irene. Seulgi should’ve been the one to marry Irene. Since Seulgi was in Thailand, she didn’t hear the news of Irene’s divorce. Thus, Irene spent her days in her condo, loathing herself for letting Seulgi go.

Seulgi wandered on the beach coast, looking far out into the sea. She saw the waves coming and leaving the shore and all it repeats. Seulgi laid down a blanket and laid down to see the sky. Joohyun loved the sky, she thought. She reminisced on the times, where she would take Joohyun out to the cliff to see the stars, when things weren’t going Joohyun’s way. She didn’t know that the marriage was the cause of Joohyun’s struggle and she didn’t know the guilt she felt by not staying by Joohyun’s side like she promised. Seulgi could only wish that the person lying on this blanket with her, was Joohyun, and no one other than her.

Irene was laying on her bed, with a miserable heart. Throughout these past months, she was trying to find Seulgi, her one and only true love. She wanted to display her love for the woman and she wanted to tell the woman that she loved her and her only. But, she couldn’t find her. She went everywhere, she even went to Eunae for help. But, no one has seen Seulgi and Irene wondered if she was too late. Too late to claim her love.

Irene looked at her photos of her and Seulgi. She lingered on a photo of Seulgi sleeping. It was when she kissed her in college, after the other woman put her to bed. If only it was back then, maybe Irene could’ve muster up the courage to confess to the other woman, maybe they could have already been married