Taeyeon wasn’t sure what to do, or if she even made the right decision but there was one thing that she was sure of; she’ll regret it more if she doesn’t give Tiffany another chance. She sighs as she stays seated inside her car, taking in the view of the parking lot where she’s parked; so familiar, yet very disturbing. She gave Tiffany another chance but the question is can she trust her with her heart again?

            “Of course… I think.” She mutters to herself. She chuckles bitterly as she remembers the times she tried so hard to convince herself that she could indeed trust Tiffany again even after being hurt a lot of times, how stupid. She shakes the thoughts out of her head as she slips out of the car. She opens the trunk of her car and she pulls out the same luggage she packed a few days ago.

            Sunny had asked her if she was sure about this and she said she was sure because she doesn’t want to prolong hers and Tiffany’s suffering. After all, Tiffany did say that she’ll do better this time. She closes the trunk and she is almost startled when she sees Tiffany standing beside her car, she smiles, and the girl smiles back, perhaps the most gentle smile they’ve given each other ever since their problem arrived.

            “I’ll help you with—“

            “No need.” Taeyeon interrupts. Her bag wasn’t heavy anyway. She smiles to herself when she sees Tiffany look down on her feet again, maybe misunderstanding the tone that was used. Taeyeon walks towards the girl and she grabs Tiffany’s hand which startles the girl. Tiffany stares at Taeyeon with her brown orbs and she feels her heart skip a beat when Taeyeon smiles at her, as if telling her that it was okay to hold her hand. She slowly intertwines their hands and she smiles at the warmth that she has missed. Nobody holds her hand better than Taeyeon does. It’s as if there’s a spark that keeps them together. They walked hand in hand and Tiffany watches as Taeyeon presses the button on the elevator. It was a quiet elevator ride but they were both comfortable, knowing that they’re beside each other is enough, for now, because that’s everything that Taeyeon can offer at the moment.

              “Are you hungry?” Tiffany asks. She doesn’t know how to cook but she can follow instructions. She realized that maybe it’s time for her to serve Taeyeon since the woman had always served her. It’s time to make Taeyeon happy, and she’s going to start with food because that’s how she fell for Taeyeon.

            “No I’m not but thank you.” Taeyeon simply answers as she presses the buttons on their apartment door. Truth is, she doesn’t have the appetite. She’s found herself unable to eat for the past days because she doesn’t have anyone to eat with.

            “A-are you sure?”

            “I am.” Taeyeon answers one last time and she lets go of Tiffany’s hand, “I’ll be in the room if you need me.” She smiles at the girl one last time and she goes straight upstairs, leaving Tiffany alone with her thoughts.

Tiffany found herself watching Taeyeon sleeping after a few hours of not doing anything. She’s tired of thinking of the worst case scenarios that could happen to them and she’s most definitely tired of being slapped by her own thoughts. She wanted to be there with Taeyeon, she wanted to be trusted again, but how can that be when she couldn’t even trust the older woman with her problems? She frowns when Taeyeon’s eyebrows creases as if she’s having a bad dream and she starts to massage her forehead. A smile forms on her face when Taeyeon relaxes,

            “I’m here Taetae. I won’t leave again.” She whispers, placing a chaste kiss on the other’s forehead as she smiles again. She panics when Taeyeon suddenly stirs and she almost tried to crawl out of the room but the woman had already opened her eyes and Tiffany was caught,

            “What are you doing?” Taeyeon asks, gently. She remains in her position and Tiffany just stared back at her with wide eyes,

            “I-I’m… I just wanted to watch you sleep I’m so sorry if it bothered you.”

            “Oh.” Taeyeon shrugs then reaches for her phone to check the time. It was almost night time anyway. She sits up and stretches before giving Tiffany a gentle smile again, “so what do you want to do?”

            “Aren’t you hungry?” Tiffany asks, she was hungry, yes, but she won’t eat without Taeyeon, “I’m not. Are you?”

            Hearing this, Tiffany quickly shakes her head and Taeyeon was close to believing until someone’s stomach growled. Taeyeon stared at Tiffany who was biting her lip and she chuckles, “You can eat without me you know.”

            “I-I want to eat with you.”

            Taeyeon purses her lips at the statement. She was sure that Tiffany was asking her to eat with her but she really doesn’t have the appetite. She shrugs then jumps out of bed. She extends her hand to Tiffany and the younger reaches for the hand that was offered. Taeyeon pulls her up but Tiffany ends up bumping into Taeyeon’s body. Taeyeon stares at the girl in front of her, the proximity of their faces were making things hard to control, especially that it’s been months since they last did it. Tiffany wanted so badly to kiss Taeyeon and make her feel how much she loved her but she didn’t want to scare her away. She didn’t want her to think that she’s back because she needs to get laid.

            “I-I’m going to the bath room. I’ll meet you d-downstairs.”

            Tiffany pouts when Taeyeon lets go of her hand and goes straight to the bath room. She bites her lip to stop her from smiling like an idiot because this is the closest she’s experienced to getting physical with Taeyeon again. She smiles to herself as she goes to the kitchen so she could get their food ready.

            When Taeyeon said she’d meet her downstairs, Tiffany thought she was going to eat with her but the girl ended up watching her eat instead. She claims that she doesn’t have the appetite to eat and it worries Tiffany because she hasn’t eaten anything ever since she arrived today.

            “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

            Taeyeon answers by shaking her head. She continues to tap on her phone and it makes Tiffany frown because she’s starting to work again instead of helping in making things better. She wasn’t going to explode though and she was most certainly not going to bottle her feelings again. She reaches for Taeyeon’s hand and squeezes it,

            “Eyes on me, Tae.”

            Taeyeon was about to answer but she decides against it. This is the exact same reason why Tiffany cheated, because she was too busy with other things and too busy making sure that they have a nice future that she forgot she had a wife who needed her attention too. She sighs and she pockets the smart phone, mouth an apology to the girl.

            Tiffany just smiles at her and was about to let go of her hand but she hold on to it tight.

            “I’m going to hold on to you forever.” Taeyeon smiles, staring at the hands on the table and smiling gently at the girl across her, “even if you’re about to let go, I’m going to hold on to you forever.”

            Tears atarted to well up in Tiffany eyes and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She was overwhelmed with feelings; happy, sad, guilty, afraid. She was happy to have Taeyeon in her life again. She was sad because they still had a long way to go before they can fix their marriage. She was guilty because this is all her fault, and she was afraid at the thought that she won’t be able to fix what she broke. She was scared to lose Taeyeon again because of her stupidity. She puts the spoon down as she wipes the tears that were falling from her eyes. She couldn’t believe that she was blinded by Siwon’s words when she has the best wife she could ever ask for in front of her.

            “I love you, Taetae. I promise I’ll make things better.”

            Taeyeon squeezes her hand, conveying the words she could say at the moment.  They still have a long way to go, and she was serious when she said she couldn’t trust her yet because she tried, she tried hard to convince herself that she does but you can’t force fix something broken. They both needed time, but it most certainly wasn’t time apart. They needed each other now more than ever and they were gonna fix their marriage.

            “You can eat now. I’m sorry I’m being overly dramatic.”

            Tiffany sniffs then chuckles at what Taeyeon said,

            “I love you and I’m going to prove to you that I deserve to hear your answer again.” The younger smiles at Taeyeon and they continue just watching each other do their thing.

            I love you too. Just not yet.

            “Feed me please.” Taeyeon whines as she squeezes Tiffany’s hands that was in hers. She refuses to let go like she said and Tiffany wasn’t complaining. It was always her clinging to Taeyeon so she feels happy that the woman is being comfortable being the clingy one now.

            Taeyeon on the other other hand thinks that nothing will happen to their relationship if she keeps on being tough. She’ll just be giving Tiffany a hard time and she will only prolong their pain. She watches as Tiffany forks the food on her plate and she extends it to Taeyeon. The older opens and takes a bite of the food that was offered, she chews on it little by little and she swallows. She hasn’t eaten that much in the past few days because of stress and if she did eat, she only ate instant noodles because that’s the only food she can digest.

            Tiffany watches as Taeyeon struggles to swallow the food so she loosens her hold on Taeyeon’s hand so she can get a glass of water but Taeyeon still won’t let go,

            “Tae I’m going to pour water in your glass.”

            “No.” Taeyeon whines like a kid surprising Tiffany. The younger goes back to her seat and she just stares at Taeyeon who was pointing at the glass beside Tiffany.

            “Just let me drink from your glass.” She suggests and Tiffany realized that yes, she’s always shared her drinks with Taeyeon.

            They spent the whole dinner time just staying there across each other, their hands never leaving each other’s. This was what they craved for and they’re lucky they’re having a second chance.

            Taeyeon felt really comfortable lying down next to Tiffany but for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to sleep. For the past months, she’s had trouble sleeping. It’s either she falls asleep early, wakes up in the middle of the night and she won’t be able to sleep anymore, or she won’t fall asleep at all which is why she keeps on taking sleeping pills to help her fall asleep. Truth is she’s afraid to sleep because whenever she falls asleep, she’ll have nightmares and it will bother her to no end.

            She turns on the bed and she smiles when she sees Tiffany sleeping soundly next to her. Tiffany was an amazing woman and Taeyeon would do anything to keep her happy. She was her life, the peanut butter to her jelly, a world without Tiffany was a world without a purpose. She reaches for Tiffany and she gently caresses her face, careful to not wake the girl up. She missed this, she missed waking up in the middle of the night knowing that Tiffany still loved her and that she’d wake up the next morning with Tiffany still next to her.

            “You’re so beautiful and kind, Fany. I won’t blame Siwon if he fell hard for you too.” She smiles bitterly and she reaches for Tiffany’s hands again, intertwining it with hers. She just wanted to hold Tiffany’s hand forever, because she’s forgotten to do that the past few months and look where it got them.

            Tiffany stirs in her sleep and she tries to move her hand so she could hug Taeyeon but she fails to move her arm. Panicking, she immediately opens her eyes and she sighs in relief when she sees that her hand was intertwined with Taeyeon’s again.

            “Tae why are you still awake?” she mumbles, her eyes still droopy but she was also worried why Taeyeon wasn’t asleep.

            “I can’t sleep.” Taeyeon hears Tiffany mumble something incoherent and she panics when she feels the woman was about to stand up from the bed. She tightens her hold on the girl’s hand again and Tiffany turns to her,

            “I’m going to heat milk for you.” Tiffany mutters but Taeyeon shakes her head as a response.

            “Stay please.” The older begs, and it almost broke Tiffany’s heart that Taeyeon was looking at her with much sadness. She was only going downstairs for milk, she wasn’t even going to leave the house however, she knew better so she just nods her head and goes back to her place, next to Taeyeon, where she should be.

            She gives Taeyeon a gentle smile and she opens her arms wide, signaling for Taeyeon to come closer to her. The older scoots closer to Tiffany and she buries her face on the crook of Tiffany’s neck. She’s always loved Tiffany’s perfume, she smelled like strawberries, and it never failed to make Taeyeon smile. Tiffany hugs Taeyeon tighter and she begins to gently pat Taeyeon to hopefully put her to sleep. A few minutes have passed and she feels Taeyeon’s steady breathing. She was afraid that she’d fall asleep first since she was already really sleepy so she’s thankful that Taeyeon already fell asleep before her.

            “Goodnight Taetae.” She whispers as she lands a chaste kiss on Taeyeon’s cheek.