It has been 2 years since she saw him. She has been gone through all the hardship to forget about him but the memories still remain there in her mind and heart. She tried so many things to make herself busy with hope that she will get distracted but none of them actually works on her. And when the night comes, she will become anxious as she hoping for him to come. But, hell no. Of course he won’t. He doesn’t have any idea where she is. Since she left without a single trace or scent of her.

Tonight is not like the other night. She sits alone in the balcony while letting the coldness of the night air brushes on her porcelain like face. She shivered a little but still she won’t budge from her place. She closes her pair of her hazel eyes and tears coming down like a stream of water without any signs it will stop. She bites her pinkish lip to prevent herself from making any sounds. Yeah, she loses again. She loses to herself when she swears that she won’t cry again because of him. But every 22^nd May comes, she will lose to herself. Every 22^nd May, it’s like all the memories dashing to her and she could see every piece of them clearly, plays like a movie inside her head.

It’s their 4^th anniversary. They supposedly celebrate it together after they finished their schedules. She usually baked him his favourite chocolate pie no matter how busy she was. And he would present her a song that he wrote for her along with other presents. And they would spend their time cuddled together until the two of them fell asleep in each other embraces. And that was already become memories to her.

If only she won’t go to that concert 2 years ago. If only she won’t go there secretly to surprise him. If only she could pretend like she saw nothing. That is all that she could tell herself. If only.

Call her loser. Call her stupid. But, if only she won’t witness the entire scene maybe now she still in his embrace. Act like she is happiest girl in the world who has a loyal boyfriend by her side. Now? It’s already late for her and for them. The fact of her most trustworthy boyfriend make out with her junior in his waiting room really hit her right on face. She tried to tell herself to go and meet him. At least to hear his explanation just like what he text her after he got caught cheating with other girl. But, she too scared if he would say the words that she never want to hear the most especially when it come out from his own mouth. Lastly, she decided to left quietly without letting anyone knows about her. Especially him. She leaves everything that relatable to him and promises that she will never comeback.

She let a heavy sighed. Wiped all tears on her face as she stand up and went straight into her room.

He dialled the number on his phone for who-knows-how-many-times tonight. It is his routine every day after she left him. Everyone around him keeps asking him to move on but how dare he? The image of her crying face that evening never leaves his mind even for one second. He never forgives himself for making his most valuable girlfriend hurt like that. Even after 2 year, he still cries when he’s looking at their picture together. Haih. He sighed. He knows that he makes people around him worried especially his family and teammates. That is why he pretends to move on and busy himself with all of the making music stuffs. But deep down, only he, who knows how hurt his heart longing for her.