She didn’t see him for an entire month. After countless nights spent at a deserted café at 3 in the morning, he had not appeared. After countless rainy afternoons spent waiting for him, he had not appeared. Time seemed to inch forward with the speed of a clock’s broken hand. She eventually gave up and decided to move on with her life, forcefully silencing the questions that etched themselves into the very depths of her mind. Perhaps he had simply been an illusion that her mind had conjured; perhaps he had been nothing more than a mere fantasy. There was one thing that was clear, however. The pain... The pain in her heart was getting progressively worse. To the point where it almost felt like it was physically shattered open.

--

The night was in full bloom, the breathtaking beauty of the stars painted across the dark sky. They looked like glistening tears, illuminated by the graceful presence of the full moon. A light breeze roamed the streets, breathing life into the cold night.

The restaurant that took on the form of a tent was surprisingly nearly deserted, despite it being the earlier hours of the night. Chaerin was near the back of the tent, clumsily seated upon a cheap plastic chair. She loosely held a chopstick in one hand and poked at the fried seafood dish that lay in front of her. She then poured herself another glass of soju, downing it in one shot. The bittersweet liquid made her feel warm. She was drinking to celebrate her first official job.

“I’m going to work super hard and become super rich,” she said with a soft sigh as she drank another glass. “I wish you were here, mom. I promised to buy you that purse you had always wanted with my first paycheck. You would be proud.”

She filled her glass yet again and let out a shaky breath. She placed the glass down and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. It felt like she was suffocating, as if someone had her pinned down on the ground, their hand firmly wrapped around her neck. 

“I don’t know why, mom. I don’t know why I miss you so much. I miss everything so much… I don't know why it hurts so much more than it used to. I thought I was getting better.” She hit her chest with a wobbly hand as hot tears began to roll down her cheek.

“It’s like someone put a curse on me. After that night I almost died… It just hasn’t stopped. The pain.” She buried her face in her hands as she began to sob harder. The alcohol wasn’t helping. Nothing seemed to help.

She continued to pour, flooding the already full glass with more and more of the transparent poison. She raised the glass to her lips and was surprised to find that it was empty. She blinked twice and set her glass down, dumbfounded.

“You’re going to drink yourself sick. Your mother wouldn’t want that.” The voice was guttural and raspy, yet almost more intoxicating than the alcohol itself. He delicately removed the glass from her hand and set it on the plastic table with a soft clink.

She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand before focusing on the figure in front of him. It was him—the one she had spent late nights desperately waiting for. The one who held the answers to her questions.

“Don’t leave,” were the first words she managed to sputter.

The man smiled at her, his smile one of pity yet warmth. “I won’t.”

“Don’t leave me,” she repeated once more. “I waited so long for you.”

He shook his head gently. “I won’t.”

She spent a long moment simply looking at him, inscribing all the small details of his face into her memory.

Then she spoke.

“What… did you do to me?” As the words tumbled out of , tears followed from her eyes. “Why am I in so much pain?”

And for the first time in years, the grim reaper looked absolutely broken.

They say when you hold the hands of a reaper, you come face to face with your worst fears.

He pursed his lips together, overwhelmed with guilt. He wanted to comfort her, to soothe her and ease her pain. But he was afraid that the moment he touched her she would shatter. This was the first and last time he would ever hold hands with a human.

He ripped his eyes away from her desperate, compelling gaze. He no longer had the courage to face her. He was a coward.

“I tried so hard to bury my feelings. To bury my pain, to forget everything. But then you came along. And I don’t know what you did, but you reopened my wounds,” she drawled her words, yet the pain engraved in every letter was far too real, to the point where Yoongi swore he could feel it crawl upon his skin.    

And at that moment he understood. Why grim reapers truly wished to be banished to hell instead of being damned to roam the rest of their miserable days on the brutal grounds of the earth.  

“Who are you?” She paused. “No—actually… W-what are you?”

Her words slurred as her exhaustion stained eyes struggled to stay open. Although she reeked of alcohol and looked far worse off than a zombie that had emerged straight out of a cheap blockbuster, there was something charming about her. Perhaps it was how the moonlight reflected off of her skin, or perhaps it was how the sad gleam in her eyes put the stars to shame. To Yoongi, however, it was much more than that.

“Min Yoongi. My name is Min Yoongi,” he murmured quietly, rising from his seat.

She feebly grabbed him by the arm and gave a weak tug. “Don’t leave. S-stay with me.”

Then she released his sleeve and slowly lowered her head onto the table. Her eyes fluttered shut as she drifted away into a slumber, one finally free of nightmares. And that night, the grim reaper was her guardian angel.