originally published - 090816

rating: varies
(current) length: 1160 words
genre(s): varies
pairing(s): ricsyung / ricsung
description: prompted by the number five.

+ random af

051517 ► stories from the cinq collection are actually completed, but as i don't have time to complete all 20 chapters right now i'll just be posting the ones i have done on here.

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• "actually... i just miss you."

  It's three in the morning. Hyesung was sleeping soundly. Or, he would be if his phone didn't go off in the dead of night. 

  He groans, turning under the covers to reach for the bedside table. Finally grasping his phone he pulls it onto the bed with him and struggles to find the on button for a moment. Once he does he finds himself hit with a wave of stark white that leaves him squinting. 

  When the device vibrates in his hand he realizes he's getting a phone call.

  Without reading the contact name he accepts the message and brings it to his ear. Hyesung closes his eyes and mutters a tired hello. The line is silent for a couple seconds, and then a familar voice is coming through the speakers. 

  "Sing for me."

  "Eric," Hyesung groans again, sitting up a bit and rubbing a hand over his face. The alarm clock reads 3:24. "It's 3 in the ing morning."

  "I know..."

  "I'm not going to sing for you."

  "I know..."

  Hyesung is getting irritated. As he ponders hanging up and just going back to sleep Eric sighs on the other side. 

  "Then why, Eric, why did you call?" 

  "Actually...I just miss you." 

  He ends the call and goes back to sleep. 

 

• "alright, i'll leave you alone."

  Eric's ignoring him. He wonders if it's because he hung up on him a few nights before. 

  "Come on. You're working too hard," he says, standing near the older's chair as he goes over a few documents in the recording studio. Everyone else is already long gone with plans of their own. Hyesung stayed behind. "I'll take you out to eat or something."

  Still, no response. 

  He huffs, opening his mouth to make a stinging remark before stopping short. Even his natural reaction is wrong. Hyesung doesn't know how he ended up so defensive and, actually, quite rude to be honest. He supposes now that type of attitude is backfiring with Eric wanting nothing to do with him in this moment. 

  Shaking his head the singer steps back, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes. 

  Pulling his bag over his shoulder he ducks his head and opens the door to leave. 

  "Alright, I'll leave you alone." 

  His statement seems unfinished, as if he wants to say more, but Hyesung leaves it at that and walks out of the room. As the door shuts behind him Eric finally looks up and into the glass of the booth. 

  He saw his sad eyes.

 

• "and slowly... i was forgotten."

  He listens to him when no one else will. Dongwan, that is, sitting across from him in the booth of some low-light club. It's definitely something the other enjoys - older-themed interior, smooth jazz crooning from the speakers. 

  "I just, I don't know what to do."

  Dongwan's been paying attention to what he's said for the past couple hours now. The sun has probably set, and Eric feels officially drunk.

  "That's just his personality."

  "...it still hurts."

  Sighing, the slightly younger male reaches across the table to grip his hand. Eric looks up at the touch to make blurry eye contact.

  "I know it hurts, and yeah, it that he's a bit crabby 24/7 and makes a lot of nasty comments, but that's just because it's Hyesung. He's always been a bit guarded, even with us. You know how hard it is for him to open up. We don't even know why it takes so long, but now he's clamming up again. Eric, I think he needs someone to talk to."

  "He's with Jun Jin right now."

  "Who cares?" Dongwan rubs his hand over his mouth as he thinks. As he does so, Eric takes another drink from his bottle only to find that it's already empty.

  "When he hangs out with," he starts, pausing for a moment to catch the words wanting to leave his mouth. "With the others, I feel like he doesn't think about me. It's like I'm pushed to the back of his mind and slowly...I was forgotten."

  Dongwan is nice enough to take him home that night.

 

• "and then everything just disappears."

  "-op getting drunk every time you're sad? It's disgusting."

  There's rustling on his bedside - clothes being picked up from the floor and thrown into the overflowing hamper. His room is a mess, littered with papers, CDs, pairs of socks and shoes. Whoever's trying to clean it all is going to have a tough time. 

  "Oh my God, you had it the whole time. What the ? I've been looking for this for ages!"

  He opens his eyes, blinking in the mid-afternoon sunlight that manages to settle over his eyes perfectly from between the blinds. Hyesung is walking about the room without a care for Eric who had been sleeping on the bed. At least, it seems that way with the ruckus he'd been making. 

  Even now it's noisy, CD cases clacking against each other as they're stacked on the desk. 

  "You're room is a mess. You bring things in and then everything just disappears."

  "It's not that bad." he says, voice thick with sleep as he yawns. 

  When he opens his eyes Hyesung is staring at him. His own eyes are wide like a deer caught in headlights. It's not like he was doing anything wrong, though Eric does find it weird that he's actually here. Physically in his apartment and not avoiding him like the plague.

  Fixing his posture Hyesung turns his nose up just a bit. 

  "Yes, it is, and you need to clean it up before you get swallowed by your own mistakes."

  Eric feels like the statement has a double meaning.

  "Whatever. I'll just do it tomorrow."

  "Eric!"

  The older settles back into bed and closes his eyes.

 

• "and where do i go?"

  Tears. They're the only thing Eric can pay attention to because Hyesung is crying. Shin Hyesung, who doesn't let anybody see what he's feeling and keeps it all bottled up, is standing in the middle of Eric's living room and sobbing. It's ugly and jarring.

  "-and where do I go?" he asks, sniffling and trying not to let the metallic taste in his mouth warp his words. " Do you just ignore the thought of me whenever I'm gone? Am I that repulsive?"

  Eric wants to say no. He shakes his head, and that seems to be enough.

  With a cut-short, sarcastic laugh Hyesung is looking at the floor and desparately trying to wipe the trails of water from his face. 

  ", look at me. Crying like a child, all because of you."

  Finally, Eric finds his motor function and steps forward to wrap the smaller of the two in his arms. Hyesung doesn't hug back, but he doesn't struggle to break free either.

  "I'd say some of it was your fault too." 

  "Shut up."

  "Okay."

  Everything will be okay.