seduction is not eunsook’s strength but she thinks perhaps that she knows him enough now to make the attempt.  the one time she had been the initiator had been a failure, a denial she had not anticipated that had led to a deepening of their relationship she could not have foreseen.  there sits between them the question of what taemin had feared, though now she suspects she understands.  love is a fickle thing.  weeks have passed since then, gentle weeks, ecstatic weeks, & this time, this time she hopes that she won’t be denied.

preparations are made for both her body & their bedroom.  the sheets are freshly washed & she has bathed & perfumed in anticipation of his arrival.  he remarks on her fragrance & leans in to smell her hair.  their dinner is light & compiled of foods she knows his palette prefers.  when they return to the bedroom it is dimly lit, small votives flicker with light in clusters around the bed.  the way his body slightly tenses causes her heart to flutter & for a moment she fears that her actions have been all wrong, a repellent rather than a seduction.

the tension in the room would have been easy to laugh off, to suggest that it was due to a headache or that she was in some other way feeling unwell, that her fragrance was to help her relax & the candlelight to ease her sore eyes.

yet she doesn’t.  too much time has passed, her desire too strong.

she leans up on her tiptoes, kissing him gently, whispering, “lie with me tonight, taemin.”  the tone of her words could easily be interpreted as either a question or a command, the eagerness of her eyes a mixture of both.  he’s looking at her with what is becoming a familiar look of trepidation.  on impulse, she reaches out & grabs his arms, squeezing gently.

“please.  i am ready.”  her eyes flicker between his & her breath is held in anticipation.

“eunsook, i...”  he begins to turn away & she moves along with him, keeping her eyes on his face.

“yes?”  there’s a sigh that sounds so resigned her heart aches.

“i have never done this before.”  it’s a quiet declaration, one that hangs delicately between them, fragile & easily fractured, spoken while he looks away.  she’s not certain what to say.  it had not truly occurred to her that he too would be inexperienced, especially when he knew so much.

“it was not just you i was waiting for.”, he murmurs.  “i was waiting also for myself.”  he looks up at that, his eyes achingly sad.  “i want to please you.  and i am not sure i will.”

without thinking she grabs his face in her hands & kisses him deeply, demandingly.  it’s a mess of desire & fear, & when they break apart, breathless, they’re both shaking.

“i will be pleased because it is you.  i trust you.  we will learn together.”  as she leads him to the bed he suddenly stops, his eyes wide & earnest.

“wait.  there is something i need to say.”  as he takes both of her hands in his, & moments full of depth pass interminably slow, eunsook hopes that it is good.

“i love you, eunsook.”  so simple, so soft.  it had never occurred to her that he had never said the words because he had shown her every day his love in everything he did.  she didn’t just love him in return, she felt his love.  hearing the words was almost an afterthought.

“and i you, taemin.”

it’s a little awkward, a little uncomfortable.  but their familiarity with each other’s bodies makes it more pleasant than anything else.  they take it slow because they want to take it fast, because they have time & they want to learn.  it feels strange & it feels right & eunsook thinks she’s grateful that they’ve waited until taemin shifts & she can think no more.  their bodies are marked, claimed by the lips & fingertips of the other, the air perfumed by their words, their breaths, their actions.  they find their rhythm quickly because they already know the other’s body, the other’s delights.  eunsook will blush later at the positions she finds herself in, the way she moves herself.  for now, she enjoys every sensation, every feeling, the experience of being so intimately connected with another person; the pleasure of being with taemin.

they collapse on each other, sweaty & breathless, soft kisses filling in the quiet gaps.  it’s a long night, an early morning, & they’re giddy when they finally fall asleep, eunsook tucked neatly beneath her husband’s arm, his fingers braided through her silky hair.

the absence of her fertility does not go unnoticed but she is hesitant to expect too much; many women conceive & then lose early on & her luck in life is not steady.  however, the approach of her birthday marks over three months without blood so finally a midwife is called.  her name is junghee & she is elderly with soft eyes.  her fingers are gentle in their examination & she smiles with a nod in confirmation.  recommendations are given, suggestions for diet & exercise, & a congratulations to the expectant parents.

eunsook cries happily in taemin’s arms that night & he kisses her head, his own eyes glistening.

there is a celebratory feast in the neutral land between their kingdoms, food & drink & music for days.  hostilities had ended over two years ago, but it had been a tentative truce, one braced upon the marriage of the royal children still available to be wed.  she celebrates being reunited with her family, feeling the soft hands of the elder women on her face & gwiboon in her arms again, kissing her lips.

taeyeon is lovely in both appearance & spirit, her smile a bright reflection of her brother’s.  she must have been at the wedding but eunsook has no recollection of being introduced to her.  their participation in the ceremony was not nearly as important as their parents’ & she’s not sure if even taemin was introduced to any of her family beyond the king.  so while her husband engages in conversation with her beloved cousin, she exchanges words with her newfound sister-in-law.  it is easy to speak with taeyeon, their words flow freely, & they make plans to meet soon after the festival.

the pregnancy is easy, her body accepting the developing life with ease.  winter is spent nestled in their home, a book in hand & a cup of herbal tea nearby.  the only changes she experiences are fatigue & an expanding waist.  once spring arrives she turns her attention to the gardens, planting & pruning, or just admiring the foliage.  minjung is a constant source of help, assisting eunsook in every manner, joining her for slow walks on the grounds.  a delightful girl, her shyness slipped away as time progressed & eunsook enjoys her passion, her eyes bright as she speaks.

when it is time for the baby to arrive she is surrounded by women.  gwiboon kneels beside the bed, her fingers playing with eunsook’s hair, taeyeon sits at a stool near her knee, junghee by her ankles, & minjung waits anxiously in a corner.  she is taking a rest, having been walking back & forth for several minutes.  her body aches, she is exhausted, & her husband’s hand is out of her reach.  she aches for his touch.  a sudden contraction throws her off & she struggles to rise to her feet, her cousin & sister-in-law doing their best to help.

bracing herself on the birthing stool, a soft hand at each shoulder & the midwife knelt before her, she pushes one last time, feeling the child finally leave her body.  she falls back, spent, caught in the embrace of gwiboon & taeyeon.  eyes closed, she smiles tiredly as the sound of a crying baby begins to resonate through the room.  there are soft gasps as the midwife brings her child & places them gently in eunsook’s arms, their head nestled at her .  they are the most beautiful creation she has ever laid eyes on & she begins to cry.

she is too tired to do much other than murmur her husband’s name, happy when he arrives, kissing her sweaty forehead & asking how she feels.  a little smile graces her lips as she delicately lifts their child, helping the father take them into his own arms.  he laughs, surprised little chuckles, as he stares down at the sleeping infant.

it has been a year since they were wed, a year of love & passion & friendship.  she is happy, she is comfortable, she has a husband she trusts, respects, & loves.  the kingdoms will be fully united now, there will be no more war now that a child ties them together.  it is what brought them together but it is not a thought in her head as she watches taemin hold their newborn.  she rests her hand on his arm, watching his face, grateful that her fate & heart had been placed in his gentle hands.