Bury my Heart
Bury my HeartTake a listen to the song. It gives good ambiance for the story
Folding one last sweater, he gently placed into his suitcase. He looked around the now half empty bedroom. Joshua could feel a desperate sort of sadness bubble up in his throat over the sight. This was it. His boxes had been taped up and put in the car and this suitcase was the last of it. Three years in a relationship and this was it. They were done.
Joshua would cry but he didn’t want to. Not here. Not in the place that used to be theirs, where they used to be happy and so in love. Everywhere he looked a memory would spring into his mind, reels of moments where they held each other, teased each other, kissed each other, made love. Too many memories of a relationship that seemed to be going the distance.
Except somehow, somewhere down the line, sweet things turned harsh. The sweet teasing turned into digs, instead of hugs it was cold, empty distance, kisses came less, and the passion for seemed to fizzle out. They were on different paths now. No matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t walk together anymore. And it made them clash. They fought, yelled, screamed. There was so much of it that Joshua screamed at Jeonghan for them to end it.
He remembered watching Jeonghan stop cold, stare at him, and nod. Jeonghan hadn’t protested, hadn’t argued with Joshua one iota. All he had done was nod and agree. And Joshua remembered choking on air, his heart pounded quickly even if it felt like it was being squeezed so hard that he couldn’t freaking breathe. He wanted to protest. He wanted to take it back but Jeonghan had nodded in agreement. So, Joshua had done the same, nodded in agreement and whispered a confirmation.
Jeonghan deflated. He told Joshua to move out in two weeks and left the apartment with the clothes on his back, phone in his pocket, and the keys. No doubt Jeonghan had gone to talk to one of his friends. Joshua didn’t know since Jeonghan hadn’t come back that night and Joshua hadn’t called or texted.
Two weeks of complete silence and Jeonghan coming into the place only when Joshua was out at school and work. Two weeks of not seeing each other.
Joshua choked on a sob. What was done was done. There was no use crying now. He zipped it up, pulled it upright. It was time to leave. Wheeling the suitcase out to the living room, he paused, fingers touching the notepad he installed for them to leave notes to each other. Biting his lip, he wrote a message, kissing the page when he was done. A kiss goodbye even if it wasn’t Jeonghan he was kissing.
The door closed with a small snick as Joshua walked out.
Jeonghan walked back into their— his apartment. He looked around, seeing the empty spots where Joshua’s things used to be. Breathing out deeply, he clenched his fist. It’d take some time to get used to how it looked now.
Walking the rest of the way through the door, he closed it behind him. Jeonghan would’ve walked all the way to his now half empty room, but flashes of letters made him pause. Stopping in front of the note pad, he saw a message. Joshua had left him a message. Would his heart be able to take it?
He gritted his teeth and braced himself.
“I wish everything you want for your future to come true Jeonghan. Goodbye.”
Jeonghan choked on a scream that wanted to escape his throat. Why? Why would Joshua leave such a message? Slamming his fist into the wall, he closed his eyes, willing the tears not the fall. Why?
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