[Jongup POV]

While Himchan checked his phone, saying Yongguk had texted him, I blew bubbles into the glass of iced coffee he had bought me. The ice had all melted now.
"He says they broke up."
"... What?"
"Youngjae and Daehyun," he elaborated, slipping the phone back into his pocket. "They broke up." What indeed. I had been feeling empty and numb the latest couple of hours, emotions burnt out after overflowing, but now a complicated tangle of conflicted feelings rose to the surface. In the end, pure anger took presidency. 

"Are you kidding? They broke up? Bull," I snarled.
"Pretty sure it's for real."
"Oh yes, of course it's for real. Of course they break up today when they were so enjoying ing each other's brains out just last night." I could see my choice of words was jarring to Himchan. Not the words themselves, mind. What disturbed him was hearing them from me. That, too, made me angry. They all took me for some kid. They scarcely even thought of me as a human being. I was just Jongup to them. A fly on the wall, not even worthy of avoiding having in front of. Daehyun and Youngjae broke up? Alright, maybe they really did. That was just further proof of what they thought of me. I was a little kid who got in their way. So frail they had to break up so not to break me. The worst of it was that it was true. I had been unable to stay quiet and pretend to be sleeping. I burst out crying and ran away.

Was I supposed to be happy they broke up? It made me feel bad, coming between them. A little. Or it would have, had I not been so furious. In fact, I found myself smiling at the thought that they were suffering. The realization was like cold water thrown over hot flames, cooling me off enough for the spine-chilling self-loathing to set in. How could I be happy about Daehyun and Youngjae suffering? What did they even do to deserve that? They just loved each other. Sure, they should have known better than to in a room with four other people, but they did think we were all sleeping. It was not like they knew I was awake. Not like they knew I was in love with Jung Daehyun. Not like they meant for me to witness it. And here I was, grinning at the thought of them suffering. What a disgusting, horrible friend I was. Was I even in love with him? How could I wish pain upon someone I claimed to be in love with? 

"You know, I'm always afraid to talk to you when you daze out like this," Himchan said, and my eyes and mind returned to focusing on him. "At first I thought you were just daydreaming, but you're actually thinking very deeply, aren't you..." Sipping from my coffee, I said nothing, so he continued with a soft smile. "Mind telling me what's going on in that head of yours?"
"How am I ever going to go back?" I asked, heaving a sigh that burnt in the back of my throat.
"To be honest... I don't know, Jongup. You won't ever be able to forget about this, will you?" I did not need to shake my head in agreement. How could I possibly forget?
"Every time I see him, it'll come back biting at me, won't it."
"I guess it will..." Himchan lifted his own cup of coffee, but lowered it back down before it could reach his lips. "I'm not sure if I should be telling you this, Jongup, but... It's been a long time since Daehyun stopped really liking Youngjae." I blinked at him.
"They've only been going out for a couple months."
"You see my point?"
"No." 

"I'm telling you Daehyun didn't really like Youngjae when they started dating, even up til now." I snorted.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you'd been awake last night."
"Please stop mentioning last night."
"I can't, it's like not mentioning the giant pink hippomorphous standing right behind you."
"The giant pink-?" Himchan shook his head. "Never mind. You don't need to like someone to have with them, Jongup. Not really. Not even to enjoy it."
"This isn't making me feel any better, hyung."
"Well, it's not supposed to," he bull-headedly proclaimed. "I'm just giving you some facts here. But-" he started, hesitating as he peered at me. "Does it really not make you feel better to know Daehyun isn't in love with Youngjae?"
"It doesn't." The moment the words left my tongue, I realized it was not true. There actually was some comfort to be had in it. Provided it was at all true. Glancing up, I noticed Himchan was staring at me with raised eyebrows. Sighing, I conceded. "Alright. It does. A little."
"Oh okay," he said, relief evident in his airy tone. "That's good."
"Right." 

"So uh, you think you'll be ready to return soon?" He winced a little at my are you ing kidding meglare, but did not back down. "We have to go back sooner or later, you know. You have to face him. Really might as well be sooner rather than later."
"How do you know Daehyun isn't in love with Youngjae?"
"Same way I knew you were in love with him."
"Yongguk-hyung told you?"
"No, you dofus. Did you really believe that? I just told you that to make you feel better. Honestly, you guys are not nearly as good at hiding and faking your feelings as you think."
"He never noticed."
"That's because his eyes are clouded. People stop trusting their own judgement when it concerns themselves. It's like their ability to interpret signs just shuts down."
"He sure looked in love to me."
"Your eyes are also clouded. By love." I frowned. "Also inexperience. Youth. Innocence."
"Oh, shut up."
"Language, Jongup. And don't think your little ploy to change the subject worked. Finish your coffee now so we can go back." Well, if diversion did not work, there were other things I could try. Like honest, desperate pleading for advice. 

"But hyung, how do I face them?"
"You mean how do you face him. Youngjae's not the problem here."
"Whatever."
"Honestly, I suggest you and Daehyun have a little heart to heart talk in which you explain all about how you've been crushing hard on him since practically the day you met." The immense incredulity on my face said it all. Himchan rolled his eyes. "Yes, I am being serious. Do you really think things can get any more awkward between the two of you than they already will be? There's something magical about the whole honest truth, Jongup. If the two of you are to ever have a functioning relationship as friends, or even coworkers, you are gonna have to clear the air between you. God knows it's grown thick."
"But hyung, how can I confess to him when just last night I-"
"I swear if you say last night one more time, I'll call Daehyun right now and tell him everything myself. Tell me, do you wish to him or be ed by him? I think it would be a fun detail to include."
"Are you ing kidding me, Himchan-hyung? I just witnessed the man I love having with his boyfriend not twenty hours ago and you are bullying me about this?" His face fell, cringing a little.
"Right. I'm sorry, I went too far. I just want you to forget about what happened and move on, you know? Even though you can't forget. I want things to return to being normal for you. And normal includes a teasing hyung, no?" Well. I guess he had good intentions, somewhere along the line.