Rated PG-13

Character death.  Your POV

Your POV

It was a cold winter. Utterly freezing. Since you and I weren't able to be together on Christmas day, we decided to meet at your place and exchange presents. Do you remember? Do you remember the air, so dry and cold, blowing my hair in my face? You reached out and moved it behind my ears, so that you could see my "beautiful face". Do you remember?

Do you remember what happened after? We exchanged gifts at your kitchen table. You had lit some candles, fed me some cake, played some soft classical music in the background. You said you wanted the night to be as romantic as it could be, inside your little kitchen, sitting at your cramped table. It was. I remember everything, exactly how it went. You lifted my hand to your face and lightly kissed my knuckles.  I could feel your lips, brushing against the backs of my fingers, leaving a burning path in their wake. My cheeks turned bright red, and I blamed it on the cold. 

You reached into your pocket and pulled out a little box. You got down on your knee, as best as you could in the little space you had, and proposed. Of course, I said yes. Your smile took up your entire face, so bright and burning like the sun in my eyes. My eyes filled with tears of happiness. You made me complete. You told me you loved me with every fiber of your being, and we hugged, and kissed, and sat in front of the window with steaming cups of hot cocoa, watching as the snow fell against the window pane. You held my hand, and cuddled with me on the couch, underneath the blanket you said your mother had made you. 

When it was time for me to leave, you walked me out and kissed me at the bottom of the steps. I lingered, though it was late, because I just wanted you to hold me. I didn't want to leave. 

I stayed too long. It was late, it was getting much colder, and it was dangerous in that part of town for me to walk home alone, but I insisted. I reassured you that I would be fine, absolutely fine. You bit your lip but agreed, telling me to call you as soon as I was near my apartment. 

I left, and I couldn't help smiling as I walked the few blocks home. I was giddy, my stomach and heart twisted with happiness I had never experienced before. And then that thing happened. 

I was attacked. Some man in a mask came out from behind a hedge and jumped on me. I fell to the ground, my chin hitting the sidewalk with a snap. Blood trickled from my chin to my neck, ruining my favorite blouse. I tried to get up, but he held me down. His disgusting breath was hot in my ear, whispering lewd things to me. I screamed, but he slammed me back down onto the pavement. It hurt. I could feel blood falling from my forehead now, dripping to the ground beneath me. He flipped me over and straddled my hips, holding my arms down at my sides. He duct-taped my mouth shut and I tried my hardest to fight against him. 

Then suddenly, he was gone, his heavy body fell to the side. He rolled, hurrying to his feet. He swore and started to throw punches. I sat up and touched my chin gingerly, there were rocks embedded in my cut, and hot blood continued to roll down my cheek and onto my arm. I stood up, or at least tried to. My legs were jello, and I felt woozy, and extremely scared.

And you were there, fighting him. 

You were punching him, once in the face, twice in the gut. I ripped the tape from my mouth, astonished. Suddenly, the man pulled a knife from his pocket. You stopped fighting him, and started circling each other, like you were in a cage fight. He dove for you, and I screamed, closing my eyes quickly to block out the image. 

I heard a few grunts and opened my eyes when it suddenly went quiet. You were standing above him, breathing heavily. His eyes were closed, blood dripped from his limp body onto the cool pavement. Had you killed him? No, he was just injured. He was fine. He was completely fine. But you weren't. You looked up at me and grinned, but all of a sudden you fell to your knees, gasping. Your hand moved to grasp your chest, blood bloomed across your jacket front, staining it a dark red. 

I ran to you, and you fell to your side, your eyes shut tight, gasping. I helped you roll onto your back, and someone finally walked out of their house, a phone to their ear. I could hear them talking, they had called 911 and were informing the operator of what had happened in their front yard. Tears fell from my eyes, burning a hot trail down my cheeks, just like the blood had. You lifted your bloodied hand to my face and smiled worriedly.

"You're hurt." You said, your breathing had become worse, hoarse and ragged. 

"So are you." I said, holding your cold hand to my face. "Where were you stabbed? Show me!" 

You smiled, that crooked smile that melted my heart. "In the chest. I think he got me in the lung. I can't breathe right." You shuddered with every intake of breath. I started to cry harder. A sob wracked my body, and you reached up with your other hand to my hair, pushing it back behind my ears. 

Your eyes started to grow dull, there was so much blood pooling beneath you, such a dark color in the winter moonlight. Snow continued to fall, mixing with the other man's blood, turning it an ugly pink color. My stomach rolled, I wanted to puke. But you kept smiling, your hand trembled as you my hair.

"Stop moving." I said, pushing your hand down. I pushed my hand against your wound, trying to stop the blood. It flowed out between my fingers, so hot, so sticky, so red. "Stop talking. Lay still."

"I-" You started talking, but you were cut off as a tremor wracked your body. You gritted your teeth, your eyes shut tight as you tried to in a breath. 

"Oh no, please." I had started to mutter, the blood wouldn't stop. "Please, no, please!" You took my hand in yours, intertwining our fingers that were sticky with red. 

"I love you." You whispered, your eyes still closed. You opened them slightly, to grin at me. "I love you so much."

"Stop talking!" I had screeched. "Stop!"

"You know I love you, right?" Blood started to trickle from the side of your mouth, down your chin. It mixed with the blood on the sidewalk, and I realized with horror that my pants were soaked with it, my legs slid through it on the pavement. I could hear it slosh beneath me. So much blood.

"Yes! Yes, I know! I love you too, so much. Oh no, please no, HELP ME!" I screamed, leaning forward to place my forehead against your cheek. I felt a familiar wetness against my hair and I lifted my head to see you crying too, though you still grinned through it all. 

"Someday, you will have a beautiful wedding, and a wonderful husband, and many children." You said, coughing. More blood. So much blood.

"Yes, and it will be with you. The ambulance should be here soon. Please, stop talking." I said frantically. You closed your eyes and sighed, content. 

"I will love you, always." 

"I love you too. Stop talking!" 

Your hand lifted to my face, wiping away my tears with a blood-caked finger. You smiled, and opened your eyes again to mumble "Good-bye. I love you." before blood poured from your mouth and your eyes rolled back. Another shudder went through your body, and you were suddenly so cold and limp in my arms. 

I don't know how I got through that day. I don't know how I got through every day since then. It's been 4 years, since that night. I still love you. I can't stop loving you. I will never stop loving you.

And here I am today, Christmas morning, setting flowers at your grave. I wiped the snow from your headstone and kissed the hard marble, not even attempting to control the tears that spilled from my eyes. 4 years since you left me. Since you promised me eternity together. I would see you again, someday, but not today. 

It was okay to love again, right? I didn't mean to. Oh how I tried not to. I'm sorry, but I met someone. I know you would like him. He's a lot like you, in some ways. He's clumsy, just like you were. His voice is so sweet and his eyes so chocolate brown and filled with genuine emotions, just like yours. 

It's okay to love him too, right?

I came to say good-bye. Not for forever, just for now. I will see you again someday, in that place where the angels sing on high, behind the pearly gates. But for now, I'm still alive, still here, and I know you want me to be happy.

I stood and kissed your headstone once more before picking up my bag and shoving my gloved hands into my pockets. I walked to the coffee shop I met him at. It was our 1 year anniversary. I was there first. I ordered 2 hot cocoas and sat down at the table in the back. A few minutes later he walked in, a huge grin on his face, and I couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through me at the sight of him.

"Hey!" He came running over, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to my cheek. 

"Jinki." I said, grinning. "I ordered an extra hot chocolate for you." I moved it across the table to him. He smiled gratefully, moving his hand swiftly across the table to grasp mine. He twined his fingers through my gloved ones. rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. 

"Did you go?" He asked, and I knew what he meant. He squeezed my hand in a comforting gesture. 

"Yes, I did." I nodded, trying to keep my eyes from tearing up. He smiled sadly.

"You can cry. It's alright." He kissed the back of my hand. "It's alright."

"I just miss him, especially on days like this." My voice was hoarse with sadness. 

"I know." He smiled. "He was a good man."

"Yes, he was." I sniffled, but smiled across the table at him. "I love you."

He grinned and leaned over to kiss my forehead. "I love you too. I have something for you." He was absolutely nervous, his hands digging around in his pockets until he found what he was looking for. He pulled it out of his pocket and gulped, but smiled at me. "I, um... I wasn't sure but... today seemed like the right day for this." And he showed me the small box in his hands. I still hadn't taken your ring off my left ring finger. I couldn't. You were still mine, I was still yours. My eyes widened and I looked up at him. Tears pooled in my eyes.

"I don't know if you will accept, and I completely understand if you don't, but I want you to know that I love you. A lot. And I want to grow old with you. I know you miss him, I miss him too, but... I know he wants you to be happy." 

I just nodded fervently. I wanted this. I was ready.

He seemed shocked. "R-Really?" 

"Yes." I croaked, my trembling hand moved to cover my mouth. My lips quivered. "Yes."

He gasped and smiled so brightly, and it looked just like your smile. The smile that melted my heart, and blinded me momentarily. That smile definitely ran in the family. "I love you." He leaned across the table to kiss me, so sweetly, and it reminded me again of you. Your kisses. 

But he wasn't you. And though I missed you, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Your brother Jinki, had just asked me to marry him, and I said yes.

It was okay to love again, right?

"I will love you, always."

WAS IT GOOD? I THINK SO. I LOVE IT. 

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