A/N: Jonghyun's Story Op. 2 had me thinking. It has me lost in so many feels. Emotions of so many colors swirling out of control within my mind. I am honestly unsure as to what I am experiencing right now listening to his album non-stop since it was released. I'm Happy for Him. I'm Proud of Him. I'm also Sad - because Jonghyun's lyrics are never imaginative. He experiences things and gets inspired. So the thought, that he has been This lonely makes me sad. The end of the song, he slips underwater in that tub, but we see him at the beach the next moment. This reminds me of the interview he gave for Esquire, where he spoke of "Happiness" - he mentioned that he has not really been happy, but he now wants to be happy. He wants to find that happiness now, that it was time to reach that happiness everyone speaks of. So seeing him at the beach the next moment seemed symbolic in the sense that after 28 years (ref. the tally marks on his arm), he is now finally open to search/look for happiness. As someone who relates to the nuance of not having been truly happy, I'd say, for me, Lonely is not a sad song. It's a song that brings me hope. Hope for better things, a better future, a happier one just at the horizon. 
The serious stuff aside, seeing Jonghyun so sad in the MV made my heart ache, so I decided to write something that was based on the MV, that will eventually end up with a lot of fluff and happiness for Jonghyun - since I'm JongKey trash, that's how I'm gonna go about writing this fic like my first one. Here it goes - hope it makes you smile. If this fic makes you smile and your heart flutters, even once, then my goal is achieved. 

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"You don't understand Jonghyun-ah..I'm sorry! Okay? It's all my fault!"
"What won't I understand? Did the past 3 years mean nothing at all? How could you accept such an offer without even saying a word to me? JiYeon-ah, was I that bad to you, that you couldn't even talk to me? Was I that unapproachable that you couldn't mention that you've decided to leave the country until a day before leaving? You should have told me if things were this difficult for you!"
"Would it have helped? Would things have changed if I cried? If I whine, who will it hurt?"
"You must think I'm such a fool.. Did I trap you in misery? Have I done this.."
"You don't understand Jonghyun-ah! This is not about you.. Everytime you smile at me, everytime we talk.. Everytime you look at me with those worried eyes, all I feel is loneliness! You are here, yet, I am so lonely. What we had, it isn't there anymore!"
"JiYeon-ah...Is this why.. But I have always been here.. I haven't changed.. my feelings haven't.. Was I alone all this time ? I guess, I'm just too much to handle..How can I find fault with you.."
"This is why I held it all in.. This is exactly why.. You don't understand me at all.. I'm sorry it has come to this Jonghyun-ah.. I really have to go now.. I need you to please leave me alone... I won't be coming back here, I've packed up everything that belongs to me already.. Have a good life..."

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Jonghyun woke up in cold sweat. He turned to look at the time. 4 AM. He could only catch about 3 hrs of sleep. He pulled away the sheets with a deep sigh, consequently making Roo, his tiny 4 year old dachshund, to twitch in her sleep. She was lazy and was familiar with her appa's unsteady sleep patterns though, so she didn't get up when Jonghyun stood up stretching his body as he did so before slowing making his was to the bathroom, where his feel automatically led him. He stood in front of the mirror staring at himself for a while then reluctantly splashed some water on his face and went to the exercise room downstairs deciding to work out since he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Working out till his muscles ached and his lungs were exhausted. That was a good feeling. One which he enjoyed these days. It was 6 AM when he was satisfied and he grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge he had set up in the corner and walked back upstairs. 

"This house is too big", he muttered to himself bitterly, knowing full well he would never leave the house, now his home of 3 years. His grandmother left it to him and he was too close to her to leave what was once her home, abandoned.

Grabbing a pair of ripped jeans from the closet and a cashmere sweater to go with it, he walked out checking his mobile for notifications. Nothing. Well, except Jinki hyung chiding him for missing last night's reunion dinner along with Minho and Taemin. He hadn't met them in 4 years and they did not know JiYeon...he stopped his thought process there and quickly went and the shower, got undressed after turning the temperature to as hot as his skin can handle. 

Stepping into the shower, head tilted upwards as the too hot water hit his face and slipped down his body turning his skin pink in its wake, his thoughts begin to churn again. As of that moment, it was 7 months since she left, breaking his heart in the process. 28 weeks. The pain has dulled, he could feel the difference. What was sharp and piercing once, has turned into something aching and deep. That made him think of the song he wrote once - "Like a square wearing down to a circle". Thinking about her after a period, after the pain has dulled, Jonghyun realized that he was never upset with her for leaving. It seemed like that was the right thing for the both of them, They already were drifting apart. He was already lonely, even before she left. He could see it now. 

They were were walking together but weren't together in the sense that mattered. He just created an illusion for himself - an illusion that shattered to million pieces like a mirror when she took off.

Shaking himself away from the thoughts, he wrapped himself in a towel and walked out to the bedroom, got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen holding Roo in his arms. 

"Roo-ya, you like being carried by appa don't you?" he whispered to her, snuggling into her soft fur making her his nose sleepily. Chuckling at her antics, he placed her down on her cushion and gave her the bowl full of her favorite food, and went on to chop some vegetables, eggs and meat to make breakfast for himself.

At times like these, he missed his Eomma and Noona. He let out a deep sigh remembering that it'll be 9 more months before his Noona's course in visual graphics is done and they come back from Japan. He thanks his Eomma internally for being thoughtful of his pain and bringing Roo home to him from Japan, when he needed her. His mother knew him too well. So did his Noona, if the forever filled pantry at his home was anything to by. He loved to cook but was lazy to do so as well. He couldn't let food to go waste though and knowing this, his Noona made arrangements with the local market Ajumma to send him fresh food, thereby ensuring he cooks and eats healthy everyday. He smiled wistfully to himself thinking of them.

He truly must stop worrying his loved ones, he thought to himself. Maybe he should call back Jinki hyung to make plans to meet up the coming weekend - Minho and Taemin would most likely be free, but Jinki might have some surgeries scheduled. His hyung and dongsaengs didn't deserve to be brushed off or ignored by anyone, let alone him. 

He had enough people who love him in his life - his Eomma, Noona, Roo, Jinki hyung, Minho, Taemin, his composing team and the people who listen to his music compositions from different parts of the world. He had every reason to be happy, so he decided to find that happiness for his own sake. 

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Jonghyun loved to cook, but he couldn't make coffee to save his life. The whole world manages it with such ease, but somehow, he messed it up every single  time. It was an inside joke among his friends, that he was cursed at birth to make crappy coffee. Roo was energetic as she ran ahead of him, dragging him by her leash, with all the strength her tiny body had. She was used to the everyday walk to the coffee shop just around the corner everyday. Jonghyun walked her there everyday, had his coffee, dropped Roo off at the dogsitters next to the cafe and would walk to work.

He walked into the cafe, making the bell attached to the door jingle loudly, immediately followed by a cheery "Anneyong Hyung!" from the cashier. As he did everyday, he walked towards the cashier with a smile, accompanied by a soft "Anneyong Jun-Ho" and nodded to the cashier/barista's cheery "The usual?"

He grabbed his coffee from the counter when it was ready and walked to his usual spot by the window, Roo already ahead of him. He sat calmly sipping his coffee lost in thoughts staring out the window, until the door jingled again.

He turned his attention to the person standing at the cashier counter, tall (why is everyone taller than he was, he never understood), blue hair (ash blue? what is that color called?), fashionable, seemingly model-like. Something about his profile, made Jonghyun want to see his face. He was easily the best dressed man Jonghyun had come across in his life so far. But unfortunately for him, the blue haired man walked to the other side of the cafe and sat with his back facing Jonghyun. After staring at the back of the man's head for five minutes, Jonghyun realized what he was doing and turned away towards the window, slight blush lighting up his cheeks. 

What was he doing really? Why was he so curious? Why does he want to look at the man so much? This was unlike anything he has experienced ever. Jonghyun turned his head back to the stranger, only to find him sitting facing him this time, looking at at him. The subsequent eye contact made the stranger turn away bashfully, but Jonghyun couldn't stop staring. He really couldn't. The man in front of him was beautiful with cat-like slant eyes, pouty lips, pierced ears and God Bless his soul, the long fingers currently gripping the coffee mug definitely short-circuit his brain. 

His thoughts came to a halt at that. He was attracted to his beautiful creature sitting few feet in front of him. He wanted to know the man's name. To talk to him. To know everything about him. This was new to him. The biggest thing of all being it was a "Him" sitting there, not a "Her". It took a few seconds before Jonghyun accepted the situation - his reluctance at relationships seemed negligible in comparision to the need to get to know the man, so before he could let himself chicken out (heh, Jinki hyung) he stood up from his usual spot and walked towards the blue-haired hotty, Roo in tow. 

Once he reached the other table, he extended his hand towards the other man and softly said "Anneyonghaseyo! I'm Kim Jonghyun.. Is it okay if I join you?" 
Hesitantly, his offered hand was clasped by the other man's own slender one with a surprisingly strong voice saying "Anneyonghaseyo! I'm Kim Kibum! Nice to meet you Jonghyun-ssi. You may sit.. I don't mind."

Jonghyun sat down across from Kibum and said with a smile "I hope you're okay with my Roo here.." pointing to Roo who was now busy sniffing Key with a wag in her tail, excited to get to know someone new. He continued "She's usually quite timid, but she seems to be taken to you"

Kibum chuckled at that, bent down and scratched Roo's ears and said "She seems quite brave to me, but don't worry.. I have two of my own at home, toy poodles.. CommeDe and Garcons.. I named them after a French designer brand"

Jonghyun's eyes widened at that and he said "Do you work in the fashion industry?" 

Kibum's smile widened at that and said "Sometimes I do. It's just something of a hobby at the moment. I'm actually an actor.. Mostly theater and musicals.." he added bashfully, which led to an excited declaration of "I work with music too! I'm actually a composer for most part"

Kibum nodded his head at that and said "I've lived in Korea all my life Jonghyun-ssi, it would be impossible for me not to know you. But I really appreciate your music. Also the lyrics - I personally relate to them a great deal. To be totally honest, while I enjoy your music, my mother is a fan of yours. So trust me when I say this, I follow your music regularly" with a chuckle.

Jonghyun outright giggled at that, surprising himself and said "Ah.. sorry if it was burdensome to you! Please give my regards to your mother when you meet her.. Oh wait! I have a copy of my album in my bag.." saying this he ran to the table where he usually sat and pulled out the signed album case that he had lying around in his bag and went back to Kibum's table. He presented the CD with both hands to Kibum with a bow saying "Please thank her for me!"

Kibum laughed at that saying "I will for sure, and I see you are the 'delightful, well mannered, sensitive young man' that she keeps saying you are" teasingly. Jonghyun blushed at that and sat down again with a "Now you are just making things up!"

Jonghyun and Kibum continued to talk for another hour, each realizing that there was definitely some spark between them, something interesting, something that had potential. Even though they met for the first time, they were experiencing a kind of ease with each other that encouranged them to share things about each other that under any other circumstances, they woudn't even dream of sharing with a stranger. Key shared with him, how he travelled abroad for couple of years for acadamics, how he had many friends overseas whom he makes sure to spend time with everytime he travels. He spoke of how he was close to his grandmother, how his parents always supported him no matter what. Jonghyun shared about how he became a composer, a singer. He spoke of what inspires him in music. He spoke of his mother, sister and his friends. They spoke of things personal and impersonal - things that make them happy and sad..

As the clock struck 12 noon, Jonghyun realized he was indeed late for his recording, so he stood up reluctantly and said "I really have to go now, my composing team will be waiting for me at the company building.. I'll see you around then.." and Key nodded saying "See you around!" albiet reluctantly.

Jonghyun stood there awkwardly for a second, then quickly picked Roo up and walked away, all the while cursing himself for being such a coward that he couldn't ask for Kibum's phone number. He went to his table, put on his jacket, grabbed his bag and walked out with a wave to the cashier and a nod/smile to Kibum, while his heart ached with regret. 

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Jonghyun was just about to turn away at the end of the road, when he heard footsteps running towards him and a voice calling out "Jonghyun-ssi! Kim Jonghyun! Jonghyun hyung!" 

He turned around just in time to see Kibum  come to a staggering halt two feet away from him. He was shocked and pleased to see Kibum again, who impatiently snatched Jonghyun's phone from his hand and while typing something in it said "I understand that Roo is timid because her appa is timid! If you leave the cafe woth only my name and nothing else, how were you planning to contact me? Huh?" with a fake huff.

Jonghyun could only let out a shaky breath at that and say "Mianhe Kibum-ah! You will slowly realize that I'm quite shy when it comes to these things, for many reason.. I hope you'll still stick around through that with me.." bashfully.

Kibum slipped the phone having fed his phone number into it, laced the fingers of his right hand through Jonghyun's left and pulled him into a hug, shocking Jonghyun into silence. He then spoke slowly in Jonghyun's ear "Hyung, I've observed you couple of times as I passed the cafe on the way to work, and I have always seen you lost in thought.. I wanted to approach you, but somehow, it didn't feel like the time was right, so I hesitated. But today, for the first time, I saw you smile looking out of that window and I told myself, that if I didn't speak to you today, I'd regret it forever"

Hearing the whispered words, Jonghyun's eyes teared up and his grip around Kibum's waist tightened, hugging him back involuntarily. Kibum smiled into Jonghyun's hair at that and with a soft kiss to his temple, whispered "Jonghyunnie hyung, I know I speak to you like we've known each other for a long time, but trust me when I say this - I want to see you smile more. I want to be the reason for that smile! Will you let me? I understand you have been hurt, but will you take a leap of faith with me? I promise to give my everything to whatever this is that we have.. Will you?"

The only thing Jonghyun could do, was hug Kibum tighter, hiding his face in the crook of Kibum's neck, with a whispered "Yes.." to the blue haired angel, as his heart spoke to him "This year is going to be quite warm Jonghyun-ah... Quite Warm"

Well, now Jonghyun HAD to meet the others huh..

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*Runs*And*Hides*Behind*Jinki*
Should I continue this or leave it sweet and mushy like that? O.O

Please please please review! Reviews are much appreciated! Since I'm realy new to this, I'd really like to know where I can imporve my writing! Thank you so much!