*things italicized and underlined in this chapter mean they're written in chinese! ik sehun isnt chinese or anything but he's gotten better at speaking it so let's pretend he can read and write it now too lol*

#roastfest2k17

:3: guys yall might wanna bring out the bleach

:3: or wikihow how to tie a noose like im currently doing

dab lord: there's actual articles on that??

:3: u underestimate the wikihow

junmoney: umm... may i ask why you're doing that?

:3: cause i just saw min hyung and lu hyung making out on the couch

:3: and they just went into their room

:3: and i think my ears are gonna die in a few seconds

dab lord: R U N

:3: IM T R YI NG B UT THERES NOWHERE TO G O

:3: DO I DARE JUMP OUT THE WINDOW

dab lord: WE'RE IN A SINGLE STORY BUILDING WHAT ARE U EVEN JUMPING FROM

:3: ANYTHING’S BETTER THAN THIS

junmoney: im sure it can’t be that bad guys

junmoney: i mean this is minseok and luhan we’re talking about!

junmoney: they probably wont even do anyth

junmoney: never mind

junmoney: i’m gon e

borkhyun: I WAS J U S T NAPPING AN D

borkhyun: HOW ARE THEY THAT LOUD

borkhyun: MY MIND HAS BEEN SCARRED

ztao: I !! WAS !! BINGE !! WATCHING !! DISNEY !! MOVIES !!

ztao: THEY’VE RUINED DISNEY FOR ME

ztao: I DONT THINK I CAN WATCH THE LION KING ANYMORE WITHOUT HAVING FLASHBACKS TO THOSE NOISES

:3: to be fair dont simba and nala do the dirty in the lion king anyways

ztao: WHAT?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ?

:3: did you...... never know this

ztao: WTF I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST MESS I NG AROUND

:3: they were... in more ways than one

ztao: I AM KERMITTING GOOD BYE

z tao:

dab lord: rip tao,,,,

borkhyun: he won't be missed

vivi supremacist: ive never been more glad to not be home rn

dab lord: SHUT UP SEHUN

dab lord: WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT

vivi supremacist: lmao but me and nini don’t~

vivi supremacist: we’re at the park eating ice cream!!

ztao: STFUUUUUU

dog mom: heyo!

dog mom: look i figured out how to take a cute video ^^

dog mom:   

dab lord has kicked vivi supremacist and dog mom from the chat

dab lord: asshats

kyungsoo: Who the hell is doing the nasty in the dorm

kyungsoo: Baekhyun and Jongdae I swear to god

borkhyun: ?????WHY DO U ASSUME ITS US???????

borkhyun: WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING???????

dab lord: coguhs

:3: coguhs

dab lord: I MEANT COUGHS

:3 has changed the group chat name to coguhs

dab lord: i h8 u

kyungsoo: I don’t know, you guys are weird

kyungsoo: Also, you’re not lowkey Jongdae

:3: whats that supposed to mean

kyungsoo: .

:3: ?