Title
The title was a bit cliche for me because it follows this sequence:
__, __, and __.
It generally summarizes the whole story which is fine for drabbles. It's an average and simple title, though not memorable. Also based on your title, I had expected that the story would be written in 1st POV (specifically Jimin's POV) since there is a Me in the title and Jimin and Yoongi were the only characters but I was wrong. Slightly misleading title?
Description / Foreword
Both the description and the foreword are neatly made. No need to change something in there.
However, like you said, I should focus more on the grammar so I'll correct your Description:
• Correct:
Yoongi has to give a ride to a girl, which is something he has never done before.
(The When is unnecesary)
Appearance
(I love how you added a cute panda!)
I'm glad you added the panda since it helped set the mood for the story (which is Fluff).
The only problem I have is the small fonts. Please enlarge the font size since it's hard to read the texts.
Characters
The way you show the character's thoughts and emotion through their actions is amazing, considering how it must be short to fit the word count. Nevertheless you did a good job in fleshing out the characters naturally in such short sentences. I have nothing against this. The characters' behaviors were also portrayed realistically. E.g. Yoongi's savagery and Jimin's kind nature.
I'm glad that you have the thought to put some character relationship development towards the end of the story. If you hadn't done that, then the storyline would be quite bland.
Plot
The story beginning is good and average.
I can tell that the plot was well-thought, considering that you only took the prompt from a picture. I like how the story turned out from the beginning to the end; the storyline was smooth, and I find no plotholes in it either. Though I am a little bit confused because there seemed to be no conflict and no (actually, the is in your ending when it ended abruptly in a cliffhanger)
But drabbles have little or no conflict (hence also) so I'll let it slide since this is a drabble after all.
What I love the most is the story ending! It was quite hilarious and a bit of cliffhanger.
Grammar
I have estimated that there are 24+ grammatical errors in your story.
Here are the list of grmmatical errors in the story:
• Constant shifting between past & present tense
Wrong: "Your mother invites me."
Right: "Your mother invited me."
• Plural noun errors
• Incorrect noun use (rose cheeks)
Wrong: rose cheeks
Right: rosy cheeks
• Incorrect capitalization dialogues
• Incorrect grammatical punctuation use.
• Missing conjunctions
Wrong: despite she actually knew how to ride a bicycle.
Right: despite that she actually knew how to ride a bicycle.
Wrong: ...you ride like old people
Right: ...you ride like how old people
• Weak emphasization
Original: Why would my mom invite you?
Could be: Why would my mom invite you?
Or
Why would my mom invite you?
• Incorrect adjective use (unenergize should be unenergetic.)
On the bright side, you made it up for your writing style so no problem there. If you like, I can proofread the story for a mere 5 KPs :D
Writing Style
The writing style is okay! I have no complaints about this.
(Kudos for you, you did it exactly 1000 words!)
Personal Satisfaction
Though the grammatical errors were bothersome, overall I enjoyed the story especially the ending. I would definitely subscribe to your story if you decided to turn it into a multi- chaptered one.
Comments / Advice
Please make the font size bigger. I also advice you to proofread your story to correct all grammatical errors. I only do I for 5 KPs.
Comments