I leaned on Solji’s shoulder as we sat on the dark beach, only hearing the waves as they hit the sand. It was a pastime that all four of us had come to appreciate in our own separate ways. Jinyoung usually just brought his guitar or tried to write songs or poetry. Jongdae… he sat next to us and cracked jokes or just stared at the sea. When he stared, I started to worry a little bit. It was strange… seeing him, not as himself. I always felt like there was a side of him I didn’t know. (And, she really wanted to. If you know what I mean)

“I’m so hungry but I don’t want to get up,” Solji said. “Who knows if we’ll ever get this moment again, you know?”

“Shut up! We’re going to have plenty of moments like these. At least, I sure hope we do. Because, I know I won’t be able to live without them. . Can you imagine not doing this every weekend? It would be like living in somebody else’s body and trying to fit your soul into their shapeless capsule. It would be a nightmare,” I told her. “I cannot imagine my life without you guys.”

“Well, that’s good to know because Dae is sure that you’ll meet other people and forget about us.”

“Oh, shut up. That can never happen.”

“Never say never,” Dae said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me off Solji. “I always believe in that.”

“Oh, shut up,” I said, leaning onto his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down at me, with a grin. “I was planning on it.”

“Yet, you’re still talking,” I told him.

“I said, I was planning on it… not that I would immediately do it.” I felt his breath on my skin. His lips were inches from mine… and, he caught me looking at them.

“It’s a good plan. Execute it immediately,” I told him.

He smiled, cutely, and leaned away. It was awkward all of a sudden. I didn’t want to think the thoughts I was thinking or want him to know that I had thought those thoughts. It wasn’t like I thought of him often (she really did). It wasn’t like I wanted something to happen (what a lie).

So, I looked across the night sky, hoping that his eyes wouldn’t try to catch mine, to find answers of questions he hadn’t asked and to attach meanings to looks that hadn’t passed. I stood by, relaxed, vexed, and so, annexed. It was maniacal, diabolical, to imagine that we would no longer have moments like these.

“Do you two think Jinyoung and I should get back together?” Solji whispered to us and our heads whipped to her, so fast that we bumped them together. “Sorry. I know… weird that I am asking you this, since we didn’t even tell you about it. But… I’ve been feeling like this decision was not the right one. We’re so used to each other, it’s familiar. And, I thought, maybe… I was just romanticizing that aspect of it. But, that isn’t it. I crave the familiarity. I miss how real it was between us. We didn’t have disillusions as to what we owed each other. It was a relatio