It’s the morning after the day Yuta went with his parents to the officer that came to Hansol at the hospital, but Yuta didn’t receive a positive answer from him but a weak promise of him putting the young missing one on the missing people list.

“Dear, Tae-chan called me earlier today, he told me something about packing, are you planning to go somewhere, you still have school” Yuta’s mother comes up his room after she received a call from Taeyong.

“Um yes, it’s about Hansol….mom, is dad home?”

“Honey you really get me concerned, yes dad is home” his mom gets closer to him holding her left hand squeezed into a fist close to her chest while with the other tries to pat her son’s hair.

“I want to talk to you, I need to tell you something.”

His father comes in shortly and he kindly asks his parents to take a sit on his bed while he sits in a kneeling position on the floor, in front of them.

“Is there anything wrong son, please take the chair and sit comfortably” his dad pats his shoulder.

Yuta doesn’t dare rise his look, he knows his mother is sitting beside his father, hands on his shoulder, while his father props his hands on his knees, but he knows it cannot be another day, it has to be today that he finally reveals to his parents how he feels.

“I have something to tell you, something that I kept away and I would like to apologize for keeping you concerned in the last time and mostly after Hansol’s accident. I am not sure to which extent you know or if you figured at all but I am not quite normal, or not as in the society perception of normal.”

“We’re listening” his mother encourages but it’s hard for him to go on, he takes deep breaths and he feels like he is going to pass out over how nauseous he gets.

“Hansol, God” he puts a hand on his face and he gathers all his forces because it’s now or never “he is not just a friend to me, he is much more than that, and no I am not referring to the way Tae is to me, I love Tae too, but I love Hansol…. in a romantic way, the way mama and papa love each other.”

He squeezes the material of his pants that he can grasp, he can hear his mother crying, but he doesn’t look up.

“We had plans together, future plans to move in together and I am going to find him no matter what because I can’t live without him. Lastly I am sorry for dragging you into this, for deceiving you, I will repay for the bills after I get a job and I apologize for not being the son you wished for.”

Yuta is crying at this point and so does his mother, his father clears his throat and by the shift in bed he knows his father just loosened the knot on his tie.

“Look up, face us and look us in the eyes” his father says in a tone Yuta has never heard before.

Hardly he looks up, but he cannot look his parents straight in the eyes, so many tears gathered into his eyes which fall without his consent, he avoids the look and looks to the side.

“I said, look me in the eyes and tell me again with your head up” and Yuta complies, he is decided to face his parents, to be honest. Wiping his tears he straightens his back, head up.

“Hansol is my lover, I love him, I will find him and make him remember me and have the promised future together.”

“Is this how you truly feel and not just a phase?” his father asks further and now Yuta can see he too has tears in his eyes.

“Yes father, I’ve been aware for a long while now that I do not feel any attraction towards females and I fell in love with Hansol at first sight.”

“Then I want you to face the world with your chin up, and be proud of who you are and what you feel.”

He is not sure he’s heard right what his father told him.

“You” he pauses a bit “….knew?”

“All the time baby, your eyes never shone like that, and the extents you went for Hansol how wouldn’t we know we raised you Yuta, you are our son and we are proud” his mother is no kneeling hugging him “I’m sorry you suffered inside thinking we might not accept you.”

“I am proud of the man you are son, and I don’t want you to feel ashamed of what you feel, love is love, peace and happiness, what else can we wish for our children?”

His parents hug him, kiss him, and he is so grateful life has been so generous with him. He will find Hansol and he will be fulfilled.

He packed few clothes, or rather he threw some clothes into his backpack and rushed downstairs where his father was waiting for him along Taeyong, to give them a ride to the railway.

“Go get what’s yours son!”

And as his father cheers he and Taeyong join his friends Johnny and Taeil which have such big packs as if they are taking a trip to the Moon.

The train departs, and he sees Seoul getting smaller and further but his heart is hollow.

“Let’s use this chance and get a bit relaxed as well, with all this and SAT’s I want disconnect” Johnny shakes Yuta’s shoulder as he was far far away with his thoughts.

“Beach~” Taeil tries to show a bit of optimism and Taeyong smiles fondly.

They fall asleep, Taeil and Taeyong on each other and Yuta on Johnny’s shoulder while Johnny is somehow suspended in air, a passerby wakes him up so he can get to the other end of the wagon and so he startles Yuta then silently nudges him to take a look at the two in front of them.

“Were you sad tho, or hurt?” Yuta starts as the two are deep in their sleep.

“Maybe just a bit” Johnny finally confesses and Yuta squeezes his at his shoulder and as their arrival is announced the other boys too wake up.

They find themselves in a huge city, like looking for the needle in a haystack, they have no idea who is Hansol’s aunt, where she lives if she still lives in Busan, but they are determined to search.

Yuta doesn’t know for how long they walked, they reached Busan in the morning and now it’s dark and his soles hurt he swears they’re bleeding.

“!” Johnny curses as they reach yet another part of the town where no one can recognize Hansol.

“Guys let’s go to the hostel and sleep, we’ll start again in the morning” Taeil tries to convince them but Yuta doesn’t feel convinced.

“Yu, let’s rest you look like you are about to faint, please, let’s eat and sleep we only ate once today.”

Yuta that is squatting down lifts up frustrated, he is all sweaty, smelly and sticky, his bangs is sticking to his forehead, his clothes are sticking onto him and the others are in no better shape. His feet are swollen and every inch of his body, each muscle and each nerve is hurting.

He suddenly stands up, taking off his backpack and as if he is possessed he throws the backpack with a big thud screaming.

“, , YOU ING IDIOT YUTA, YOU ARE A ING IDIOT, HOW THE DID YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND HIM IN THIS CITY, HANSOOOOOOOOOOOL WHERE THE DID YOU GO” he keeps pumping the backpack to the ground, screaming and grunting and crying, taking his frustration out.

It’s the first time he bursts and the others are just looking at him shocked as none of them dares to get closer, Yuta looks so furious he can kill someone now. But after few more punches in the air he crouches down, kneeling on the cracked asphalt.

“You see this guys, you see these cracks? This is how I feel, cracked and scratched and stepped onto…”

The three get closer, picking up the things that flew from his back pack, to put them back, to lift Yuta and to once again encourage him and support him.

“There’s always tomorrow Yuta, maybe we will find something here maybe we won’t find him here maybe we will find a clue.”

“Taeil is right, come on, let me help you get out and if you want to scream all the way to the hostel then do so, we will be right beside you” Johnny pulls him up from the ground.

“Cry too, let it all out because you kept it for so long” Taeyong takes his arm and puts it over his shoulders to keep Yuta supported for walking.

Taeyong sleeps in the same bed with Yuta, hugging him tightly all the night, and even though Yuta couldn’t sleep until late morning he didn’t try to loosen the grip even though it was hard to breathe, he just wanted this comfort.

The next day wasn’t successful either, as they walked all day long through other parts of the town and by the sunset they reached the beach.

It’s so warm, so beautiful how the red hues meet the sea’s blue, how the golden sand that was glowing.

They decide to stop and just stare at the beautiful view, drawing in the sand and having the waves erase it away, walking shoeless and having the water reach their feet and then retreat back into the whole.

A bit further, where waves can’t reach Yuta wrote.

I am waiting for you, forever N.Y

 Putting his hopes in something and anything at all, he lifts up at peace with the fact that he took this step to look for the other, and with no regret he decides to put a closure to his search in Busan and allow his friends to depart from his problems and have a bit of fun.

“Shall we walk until the sun completely sets and after this to go home?” he asks his friends which agree with him.

Johnny walks next to him, while Taeyong and Taeil are left behind, he engaged in a discussion with Johnny in regards to the upcoming prom.

“So you’re coming ok?”

“Yes, even though I am not going to be ok.”

“Do you want to try get another date?”

“No, excluded!” Yuta firmly says and he hears a high pitched scream from Taeyong and they both turn around.

“He said ‘yes’ I have a date for the prom” Taeyong grabs Taeil’s hand and runs towards the other two, and Yuta tries his best to hide tears “oh, I’m sorry Yu, I-“

“They are for happiness you dork, I’m happy for you. I will be fine, shine that night! Let’s go” he says grabbing Johnny’s arm leaving the other two behind, and he couldn’t see how for the rest of their walk the other two made having their hands entwined.

2 days before prom

Yuta is after… he doesn’t remember how long in the gym, on a bench in the audience, cheering for…well, he is not quite sure what, but Johnny dragged him here along Taeyong.

“Johnny yet again, why are we here? It’s not even our school against other school, just two different classes from our school” Yuta tries to get an explanation as for why is he skipping math class when SAT’s are just around the corner “and when the heck are the cheerleaders going to perform?”

“Well, that’s not the point he is going to propose” Taeyong wiggles his eyebrows.

“What, here?” Yuta laughs.

“Guys you stress me out, let me do my thing, keep these and when I say now you turn them around.”

Yuta keeps looking for the cheerleaders as there’s no sign of any, then tries to catch Johnny’s gaze to see who he follows but he just looks nowhere, someone scores and then is when Johnny puts two fingers to his mouth and whistles and everyone’s gaze is on him.

Yuta never took a look on what the placard he has to point has on and now is too late as Johnny signals and points his out then Taeyong follows and so does he, and all the players are looking puzzled towards them squinting their eyes and the looking around them and Yuta peeks on his placard.

“Who the is 95?” he asks just as puzzled as those on the field yet smiling like an idiot waiting for the person to show itself and accept or reject and the next thing he sees Johnny face palming.

“Flip it, you keep it upside down” and as he flips the card a flashing smile comes from a black haired guy which doesn’t seem too tall but he wears no. 26, and he gets circled by his team who cheer on him.

The guys is anything but shy, as there’s a smirk on his face as he turns his back to the audience, some people are whispering, some are gasping, some are laughing but the answer comes soon as three bodies align in the front of the audience and form with their bodies a YES.

“I have a date!!! Thank you guys see you” Johnny runs to number 26.

“They too are going to shine at the prom” Yuta similes fondly, teary eyed.

“Yu” Taeyong whines.

“I’m just happy for you guys.”

“But…I know I shouldn’t say this, but it breaks my heart to see you like this, I really wish Hansol would be here and all of us would be together.”

“It’s fine Tae, as long as one day he comes back to me, I can wait…I really can wait” Yuta’s voice is chocked and it doesn’t take Taeyong ages to figure tears are falling down his face.

Inside his heart he is happy for his friends finding dates for the prom, and not only because they found dates for the prom but also because they can experience the feelings he too experienced with Hansol. Falling in love, fighting for that person and having your feelings reciprocated, Yuta knows how good this feeling is.

He doesn’t feel sorry for himself, he simply misses Hansol, the one that has his heart.

At home he sees his parents seem to have a serious conversation in the kitchen and they get startled as soon as Yuta enters the door. Half his heart expects a news related to Hansol, good or bad, while the other half already lost hope and tells him it’s only his imagination.

His mother doesn’t tell him anything in particular, so the other half was right, it was all in his head, his mother simply asks him what he is going to do tomorrow, the day before the prom when he has no classes.

“Probably help Johnny and the organization team put in order the last things for the prom, I don’t know they did some decorations and are not ready with them or so…” his mind is somewhere else, he cannot help but focus his energy in making the pain in his heart hurt less.

His mother kept speaking about something but his brain didn’t register, he cried himself to sleep later on and woke up with no energy and eye all swollen.

Yuta curses at himself in the mirror after he sees how swollen his eyes are because Taeyong and everyone will get worried because of him, again. He is not ecstatic for today and tomorrow yet he hope the time will miraculously fly.

“Hi, Yuta right?” a toothy smile greets him, and now he remembers where he’s seen this guy, he’s Johnny’s number 26.

“Hi, yes and-“

“Ten, I’m Ten like the number” he introduces himself and tells Yuta more or less that they’ll spend the day together because Johnny and Taeyong are somewhere else with some other business, he’s not sure either what “you know, you’re much handsome close up.”

Yuta frowns, giving him a confused look but the boy suddenly apologizes.

“No, not like that…I really have a crush on Johhny but keep it secret please, he doesn’t know…yet.”

The way Ten’s eyes flicker when he speaks about his crush on Johnny make Yuta’s heart melt, he wonders if this is how his eyes flicker when he spoke about Hansol, when the elder was around.

With Ten around time does fly fast, the boy is cheeky but funny and he rants a lot, but not in bad way, Yuta thinks.

“Thank you for keeping me company today Yuta, it was really fun with you, I will look forward in seeing you tomorrow I bet you can be King of prom.”

“Thank for the flatter Ten” Yuta bursts in laughter because Johnny’s face right now as Ten compliments him is priceless and so is Taeyong’s which is in as much shock as the taller “but I will not compete and most probably will not look handsome at all, let’s go Tae, you need to sleep those dark circles out.”

“What was that about, Ten looked…infatuated with you, what did you do to