The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

Psalm 34:18 

Siwon P.O.V 

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Good morning" kyunhyun approach me as I lock my locker to put my things. 

"Morning"

"You are definitely spoiling the day with that long face of yours!"he chuckled. 

"It's already long." 

"That's not what I mean! Your eyes speaks a thousand words of sadness."

"Well-- it's Mike."

"Mike? right! Did you tell uncle about Mike?" he asked.

"No. When I got home dad was sitting on the living room, he asked me whether i knew where Mike was."

"Then? What did you tell him?"

"I told him that Mike went into a birthday party."

"Birthday party? Siwon, he went in a club, You should have told uncle about it." I just shrugged my shoulder in return. 

"Maybe there's a real late celebration of his birthday."

"In a club?"

"Brett has a different world kyuhyun."

"That's the reason why I don't want Mike to be with that Brett, Siwon." he roared slamming the door of his locker making everyone around us look at us "He really change" he mumbled in his weak voice.

"I know" I agreed. He is so different from what I've known. My brother seems like a stranger now. The brother who is always smiling, teaching me how to play guitar and the brother I look up since young.

We are passing the soccer area when we saw Mike standing under the tree. He got thinner than before, messy hair and he always wear black still grieving on my mother's death. I run towards him asking kyunhyun to wait for me a bit.

"Mike! Where have you been?"

"Birthday party!" he passively answered.

"I saw you in a club. Are you sure it's a birthday party?" he didnt answer.

"Why are you hanging out with Brett?" I waited but no answer comes out from him. He stepped forward about to leave me but I pulled his shoulder twisting his body to face me.

"Dad was waiting for you the whole night! You should have come home!" I snapped out of him. He stiffened as I mentioned our father to him.

"I didn't tell him to wait for me. That's not my problem anymore." I was stunned for a moment hearing words coming from him sends chills on my body. Anger filled my heart as I gripped his shoulder tightly. '

"Don't you dare, say those disrespectful words to our father again."

"I say what I wanted to say"

"Mike I warn you. Never ever speak like that to him." he sarcastically smile mocking on me. He shove me forcefully away from his body losing my balance I stumble on the ground.

"Why? He is trying to be a father now after everything happened. Is that what you want to say?" he laughed loudly. Kyunhyun suddenly pushed Mike away from me rushing to help me to stand on on feet.

"Mike what are you doing?" kyunhyun angrily questioned Mike.

"I don't need your concern. Don't meddle on my life from now on Siwon"

"I miss my brother." I painfully admitted.

"Your brother? His dead." he claimed.

He moved forward leaving me and kyuhyun. I was just looking at my brother walking Out of my life, it's hurting me so much. Will we restore like ever before or will we continually living like we don't exist? 

Before our mother died, she asked me and Mike "how could life be like this?" I was speechless because I really do not know what to respond. I just keep silent in the entire time. I was desperate to find the answer of her question but I can't find. Will I say, "Life is painful?" Or will I say, "Life is happy?" or shall I say, "Sometimes life is happy, sometimes sad." Will my mother accept my answer? I do not know because she is a woman of faith.

I never thought that she would ask us things like that because I do believe that she knew everything about GOD. But I was wrong, how could she asked  a 17 and 18 years old about life? Maybe, just maybe she was wondering why things happening to her like that. I wished I knew what she was thinking. I wished I was mature enough to answer the question. I know she needed an answer. If I am not mistaken, maybe she was totally in pain but didn't say. As I started my journey of what could life really mean today, I keep everything in my mind and observe people. I read books about life. I read articles about life. But still I couldn't understand. 

So as Mike, I don't understand what he is thinking I wish I could. If he needed comfort, I would willingly give him  my arms. If he need someone to listen to him, I  am more willing to lend my ears to him. If he wanted someone to help him stand to his two feet again, I want  to stand together with him. didn't he knew that he is not the only one who got hurt?

"Everything will be fine soon" kyunhyun whispered trying to comfort me "he needed time for himself" he added.

"Do you think my old brother will be back?"

"Do you trust God?"

"Yes."

"Keep praying as long as you believe there's a hope" he smiled reassuring me that everything will fall into their place one day.

Mike's P.O.V

I walked away far from my brother and his best friend. I will never be the same Mike. Where was dad when Mom needed her? I was there when she took her last breathe but dad wasn't there. He chose to go somewhere than to stay with her. Was it more important than Mom?

It was dawn when I came home from the club, actually I lied to Siwon, it was not a birthday party. When I went home I saw dad sleeping on the couch, the blanket slipped on his body. I put it back into his body.

'Why was he sleeping in there? Maybe Siwon didn't come home yet. Where did that boy  go? Or maybe he just fallen asleep doing business stuffs' I thought. I went upstairs in my room, took a bath and change clothes. 

I saw my mother's picture on the top of my table smiling so sweetly.

'I miss you mom'

#Flashback

'Mom! Mom!' Siwon cried out while I was carrying him on my back. "Can you make it faster?"he demanded.

"What did you eat? You're too heavy!" I jokingly said.

"Are you telling me I'm fat?"

"Obviously!" I sat beside mother's side catching my breath as Siwon jumped out of my back.
Mom keep on smiling to us seeing us bickering with each other.

"Mom! I have a question." he blurted out .

"What is it Siwon?"

"What if God will give you a vision where you can see a future?"

"What do you want to see in the future?" Mom asked back closing the book she is reading.

"Uhm.." he elbowed me to answer.

"What if you can see your future wife? The one that God set apart for you alone?" I answered.

"I think it should not be answered by me but both of you guys. What will happen next when you know that she is the woman for you?"

"I'll tell her" siwon confidently said.

"Do you really think she will believe you?" I laughed loudly at his answer. He is really a kid. "What if she will run away from you after saying that?" he pouted.

"How about you? What will you do?"

"I'll watch over her, stand beside her at a distance, walk with her in a distance while reaching her dream eventually our road will meet someday. She will realize soon that she's made for me."

"It sounds like a stalker for me" he uttered. We all burst into laughter.

#flashback ends

I love you mom.

I went downstairs before everyone wake up. Still dad was sleeping in the living room, I passed beside him. I jump on my car, rev the engine and pulled the car into the drive way.
Will we ever be like before? I wonder. Will I be able to forgive? Why does it still hurt inside? Where did the God I believe go too? Why did He left when I cried out for help? Why?