You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is good for you. You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is beneficial.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Chapter 3: Lukewarm Christian

"Ruth. Let's talk. Ruth" David pleading outside of the gate house.

"David, please. I already decided, let's end this."

"I can explain, just hear me out", he defended.

"Enough! Please. Go home." I told him as I walked back to the house.

David and I spent our times together for almost five years. Our mothers are both good friends. Mom supported David for me to be my husband in the future in which it won't be happening anymore. He is the youth president of the church he is attending, who would have thought? We are attending different churches in didn't cause spiritual disunity. It's never been a hindrance for our relationship. His active participation and involvement in church activities stir mom to persistently encourage me and support me with my relationship with David.

"Ruth?" mom inquisitively asked me crossing her hands in front of her, leaning against the door, "Why you didn't David come in?"

"There's no any reason for that mom."

"Ruth, that's disrespectful. You're rude to David."

"Mom, we broke up."

"What? Why?"

"We just broke up. That's it." I plainly said casting my head on the ground.

"Did he do something wrong? David is a good man, you can never find anyone like him."

"I bet you're wrong about David—"Jane initiated yet stopped when she saw my eyes narrowed, glaring at her.

"—aunt"

"Wrong?" Mom glance between us, but we remained silent.

"Forget it mom, I'll tell you soon."

I went to my room motioning Jane to follow me right corner of the house where it's located. Truthfully, I couldn't bring to tell mom about the reasons why I decided to broke up with David. Mom is David's godmother. I don't want their relationships be ruined just because of our beak-ups.

"Why you didn't tell aunt about it?"

"Just leave it as it is. She doesn't need to know." She dropped her body in my bed hugging the big bear David once gave me during our anniversary.

"You don't have to keep it secret to protect David after what he did to you."

"I'm not protecting David"

"Yes you do. Mark is very disappointed of you. Do you know that? Honestly, we don't understand your perceptions about these things."

"Let's say, I just don't want to disappoint mom because he likes David so much."

"Simply say, you rather keep silent than to tell the truth to expose who David really is right?" I continued packing those things that reminds me of David such as toys, books and etc. Jane keep on nagging me while Mark wouldn't talk to me either.

Jane is my childhood friend, we met Mark during our first year in the university during the orientation. He is overprotective, grumpy and a straight-forward type of a person; he says what he wanted to say. Five days passed already yet he won't still talked to me, he treats me like I don't exist whenever the three of us hang out together. It saddens me that it turns out just like that.

I couldn't blame him. I am to blame of my own action. Mark did warn me about David but I accused him of being judgmental about other people. I believe David's lies than Mark warnings. I tried apologizing but he wouldn't hear me out. I was trying to approach him yet he wouldn't even glance on my way. What should I do?

"Ruth. If aunt only knew."

"She must not know."

'You are way too forgiving after what he had done to you before this cheating issue was already unforgivable. If it was me? No more second chance. Well, it wasn't me after all but all I can say is it wasn't worth trying. Wrong move."

"People fall short in sin, even I. I'm not even perfect. Who am I to judge him?"

"Ruth, that's why Mark don't understand you because you keep on emphasizing the words "way too judgmental". Mark already forewarned you but you wouldn't believe him. You know Ruth, call it judging or whatever you call it but I don't believe when David reasoned out that he just tested you when he brought you in a motel." She frankly said, throwing the big bear she was holding to the empty box.

#flashback#

"David, what are we doing here?" I was filled in horror when he parked in front of motel.

"Uhmm—Babe, Do you know I love you right?"

"uh-huh?"

"Can we do it? We are almost four years already" he pleaded with puppy eyes, intertwining our fingers together.

"What are you saying? I don't understand you.'

"Let's have .'

"What? ? Are you out of your mind?" I exclaimed angrily, pulling my hands away from him.

"Even Travis and Anne, did that thing", sitting there too shocked of what I was hearing. It was the first time David mentioned about . But what surprised me more is the revelation that Anne had with Travis.

Anne is Jane's younger sister. Travis is David's cousin. What will Jane do if she found out about this? What if she gets pregnant? I couldn't believe it. Jane is a conservative type of a person, so silent and timid hiding behind those thick glasses. Jane loves her so much.

Should I tell Jane about this? But it is not right because it's a private matter. Why did Travis tell it to David? It should be kept by both parties. This is crazy.

"So just because they did it, you want it to do it to me? I snorted. "I am not Anne. I am Me. David, Doing outside the context of marriage isn't rightful and it's a sin."

"It won't if we make a vow to God that I'll marry you someday. Believe me" those words delivered from his mouth mortified me.

"David, are you still sane? You're doing another sin for a sin. "

"I promise you, I'll marry you."

"Bring me back home now. David!"

"Ruth."

"I said, Bring me back home!" I yelled. He started his engine and drove home. We didn't say a word the entire drive in my home.

"Think of it for year, if you don't want let's break up."

"You don't need to wait of another year, let's break up now!" I slid out the car, slammed his door and walked out without saying anything.

The next day David went to our house bringing flowers apologizing of what he had done. He reasoned out that it was just a test if I take the bait, so I give some chance for our relationship. Jane and Mark wouldn't believe David's word yet I still give him a chance. People change, as what I thought.

#flashback end#

"It was in the past. Please don't remind me about it." I pleaded.

"All I was saying is he doesn't deserve someone like you. He couldn't even respect you. But I admire you somehow. I hope my sister will do the same thing when Travis did the same thing to Him." She admitted. The things I'm holding slips out of hand and falls on the floor.

"Ruth, are you okay?" she stooped down and helped me to collect the books scattered. I nodded.

"There will be a better person who will truly love you and respect you. In God's perfect time, someone will sweep you off your feet."

"I'm fine. Thanks. If only I could turn back the time, I wanted to be like you."

"I don't want to date anyone, I'm praying for the one God has for me."

"So, why did you reject Anthony? Maybe he is the one God sent for you."

"Ruth, how can I be with someone who can't even love my first love Jesus?"

"Ruth! Jane! Come out now and have some snacks." Mom called out. We silently come out. The smell of pancakes and waffles drifted out from the kitchen made out mouth waters.

"Mrs. Stones, Can I live here from now on?"

"No! I answered, you're a nuisance" I retorted.

"Ouch! I'm hurt". She clutched her shirt near her chest faking a pain. "You broke my heart", my mom burst into laughter.

"Still No!" I insisted.

"Whatever, let's eat."

Minutes later, a phone Jane phone suddenly rings. She reached out the phone in her jeans pocket and swipe the answer button excusing herself in the table. I shrugged my shoulder continued what I am eating when I heard Jane loud voice coming from the living room. She was yelling angrily between sobs. I rushed to her who is sitting on the floor wailing loudly. I hugged her tightly, gently rubbing her back.

"What's wrong?" mom worriedly asked kneeling beside us handing a glass of water she brought.

"Anne rushed in hospital. She was bleeding constantly. The doctor told my mom that she had an incomplete abortion." I exchange glances with mom finding words to say to comfort Jane but we couldn't. We waited until she stops sobbing.

"I didn't know that she could do that. We didn't know that she was pregnant. She never said anything", she added. What if she will know that I know her sister's doing? I'm having a bad feelings about this.

"Who is the father?" mom asked.

"Travis—" mom's eyes widened in shock, so as mine.