You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 

Psalm 139:16

 

Ruth P.O. V

I grasped into understanding what life really means. Is life hurtful? Is life full of chaos and pain? Is life happy?

I'm Ruth. I was in my second year in college. I took a course in medical field. Actually, it wasn't I who decided to take this course. I really don't have a dream I just wanted to do what my father wants me to be in the future. It deals with life such as human anatomy and everything that makes me appreciate the true beauty of life. Our body symbolizes God's greatness. Though we have different appearances, some are tall, some are short, some beholds physical beauty and some doesn't. How could we have different color and physiques? I wonder but isn't it amazing?

When my college professor told us things about human being she said that we are all the same human. "We may have different looks, colors, hairs, beauty and everything that a eye can observe but as we peel off our skins we just have the same inside". Yeah, I totally agree about her statement. I came across to the statement in a bible which says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (PSALMS 139: 13-14).

It was five in the afternoon for my cytogenetic class, I love this subject especially my professor. We passed our assigned projects before starting the lessons. I was curious why some professors prefer group projects, honestly I don't want it because some of my classmates in the group is just lazing out.

"I wanted to know your idea about this situation", professor Hale blurted out. Our gaze fixated into her letting her finish what she wanted to asked.

"Here is the scenario, what if one day, they discovered procedures to detect any abnormalities to your baby during pregnancy. What will you do if the doctor told you that there's a probability that your baby has a Chromosomal abnormalities? Will you consider abortion? Or let the baby live? She asked.

I was taken aback to her question. If it is me, what I will going to do? Will I consider abortion or will I let my baby live in this world? What if I die early? Who will look for her/him? How about my husband? Will he accept my baby? What kind of chromosomal abnormalities will it be? Is it Down syndrome? Turner syndrome? What if I let it live but blame me in the future?

No one dare to stand to answer, I can hear the murmurs of the crowd. For some people, your answer will determine what matter the most. What weighs more? Is it moral? Is it fine? Possibly, after this some will question your faith. A moment later, Gary raised his hand.

"Oh, it's Gary. What do you think?" Jane whispered to my ears.

"Who knows what he is thinking. I guess he will say no"

"What else do you expect for a devout Christian man?" I shrugged my shoulder and turned my gaze to where Gary is standing. Jane is right, Gary is a devoted follower of Christ. He plays guitar for church service and even invite me in their Christian gathering every Friday night. Even if we have different religion I knew it never been an issue for us to become friends. Unlike some of my classmates, they keep arguing about their religions that leads to heated arguments sometimes.

"Yes Mr. Hower?" professor said.

"Ma'am, regarding your question, if I will be a father someday and I found out that my unborn child has a defect or abnormalities I will let him/her be born like a normal child. I wanted him to see the world that God created for humanity. Baby has a life even if it's still inside their mother's womb. So to speak, ending someone's life or abortion is a murder." He stated. I nodded in agreement. The baby has a right to live whatever it will become. I believe that everything in this life has purpose. Maybe, there's a bigger reason why will God allow things to happen.

"Professor, I am sorry but I go against Gary's beliefs. Why would I allow my child to suffer in this world? Maybe, I could bear for another child without any defect in the future. For me, it is not rightful to let the child be a laughing stock or taste hardship because of my own choice." Katherine said facing Gary's direction.

"Here comes another devout Christian opposing to another devout Christian belief" Mark murmured sitting on our back.

"Well, I'm quite curious to see what that little devil thinking since he is smiling broadly" Jane said pointing her finger to Brad sitting across me. He is grinning like he is enjoying the scene. He never believe in God, no religion and he loves sketching the devil that made every hair of my body to stand. When there's a certain discussion about religion he enjoys it a lot especially if someone get annoyed at the end.

"Will, I'll go for abortion" Brad supported the idea of Katherine. What does Katherine thinking? Is she serious? It's a surprised but it's her idea and not mine. But, I didn't expect her to support the idea of abortion. Only God can take away the life since He is the one who give it.

"No it's a murder. It is against God. Babies are gifts from God Himself, why would I kill it? I believe that everything happens for a reason." Gary defended.

"Just like?"

"Nick Vujicic" I cried out. All their gazes averted on my direction.

"And who is that?" Brad asked inquisitively.

"He is a Christian evangelist, a motivational speaker born without arms and legs. It's a genetic defect .God made everything different but we are made by Him in His own likeness. We are made by God according to His purpose and called by for a purpose." I nervously said swallowing my saliva simultaneously.

"Ehh? So all the Christian-Christian is in unity. It is funny how one of them wanted to abort her child when she know that it is not normal or shall I say immoral. How sad", he mocked. I felt Jane tugging the hem of my shirt I grip my skirt tightly curling my finger into ball. This boy is getting into my nerve but I need to calm down.

"Well, I just don't want my child to suffer in this world. It is better that way. Don't question my Christianity just because I opposed to Gary's perception" Katherine retorted.

"In short, you are going to kill it." Brad emphasize it. "Do you think abortion is not a murder?" he sarcastically stated.

"That's enough!" Professor Hale interfere." Respect each other's opinion."

"Nice one", Mark mumbled under his breathe.

The lecture ended hours passed, I parted ways with Mark and Jane when my phone buzzed. It was Mark. I swipe my phone receiving his call.

"Mark? What is it?" I curiously asked. We just parted minutes ago.

"Where are you?"

"I'm still in the front of canteen. Why? Did you left something in room?"

"Come here at the parking lot faster." He yelled. What was that? I hastily went to the parking lot where I saw Mark leaning on the tree.

"Mark? What's wrong?" he extended his hand and point the couple flirting publicly on side of a car. I gasped in surprise, my eyes widened of what I am seeing. My hearts started to pound nervously, bursting out, and shattering to pieces like a broken glass.

"Ruth, I'll kill that man!" he angrily said.

"Let's go" I answered pulling mark hand away from them.

"What's that Ruth? You'll just walk away like that?" I stopped on my steps.

"What do you want me to do?" holding back the tears wanting to fall down.

"I want you to get mad at him. You always walks out. You never said anything even if he cheats on you." He shook his head in disappointment, untangling my hand and left me alone. Those tears clouding my eyes streams down on my cheeks then I started to break down.