Title: We’re fine, because-

Author: nananene

Pairing: OT6

Genre: general, feelings (might be cheesy?)

Disclaimers: This is dueeess from 19^th annv but I hope u still enjoy it^^; hope the readers won’t be sensitive about this story.

Summary: Shinhwa went to award ceremony from Dongwan’s POV

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The hall exploded with cheers everytime the winners were announced and he clapped to congratulate them too. Feeling distracted since the award ceremony started, Dongwan’s eyes wandered around and fell on the small section vibrant with bright orange colour; the pride of Shinhwa. SHCJs in the section squealed when they notice his watch and waved their orange lightsticks frantically at him. Dongwan let out a chuckle and waved back at the pretties (as Choongjae cheesily called them – though arguably) before directing his attention again to the stage.

He was exceptionally nervous because their attendance that night were a bit different than before, something more meaningful. That night, for the first time ever, at the height of the ceremony, an important award would be given, and Shinhwa was rightfully nominated for it, along with some other amazing groups. The groups who made it on the list were intimidating, but he was confident with Shinhwa. His team were dressed in elegant suits; no one would ever guessed they were almost 40. He felt great to be around this group of handsome friends.

Their faces were full of smiles. The handsome men occasionally chatted and laughed with each other, especially Hyesung and Junjin who subtly trying to lighten up the mood, even though everyone could not help but notice the nervous atmosphere that was lingering around them, kind of suffocating every breath they take.

Minwoo was especially focused that night. It was only his personal opinion, but among them six, he felt that Minwoo would wanted the award the most – though he never once said anything about it. Dongwan just knew it. Minwoo was his best friend and they have been together for more than half of their life, and Minwoo has a special spot in his heart because that person always keep his mind to his own, sometimes much to Dongwan’s frustration. Definitely he could understand him like the back of his hand.

Of course Minwoo would hope for that award. It’s nice to be recognized for your hard work and quality products, isn’t it?

Dongwan looked at Eric. Per usual, the leader was quiet when it is public space and he particularly did not show any concern about the main issue that persistently nibbling at them that night, and he seemed to be actually enjoying the ceremony.

Eric was aware that someone was looking at him and he looked back at Dongwan, raising his eyebrows in question. Dongwan thought for anything to say as he was being caught, but he could not find any word. He shot a quick smile to the leader and turned back forward, just in time to see another junior group leaving the stage. Unprepared, he felt Eric’s large hand was patting his head comfortingly from behind. He blushed a little. He didn’t like it when the leader was able to catch on his feeling without him saying anything.

An usher approached to ask them to get ready for their performance next. All the members followed to the backstage to wear their headsets and other preparation. Dongwan let out a long heavy breath to relieve his nerve. They have been performing on such stage countless time and although he always felt nervous and wanted to do his best, this time those feelings were a thousand more so. He really wanted to prove to everyone out there that Shinhwa was much more than their age, couldn’t they see that?

They stand by in their positions behind the large screen that would open to reveal them in another minute. Dongwan looked to his sides to check on the members, with Andy and Hyesung nearest to him.

Andy –blessed the sweet maknae – somehow must have sensed his restlessness. He jolted when Andy’s warm hand held his, squeezing a little, which he in response squeezed appreciatively back. They stayed quietly like that until just before the screen in front of them moved apart.

The performance was perfect. Dongwan felt so proud of his team, he pats everybody on the back saying ‘well done’s and smiled so wide that it made him giddy. He was satisfied that they have showed to the younger generation that Shinhwa should not be praised only for longevity, but also for their talent and charisma.

Look out brats we are going through, he wanted to say that very badly but of course he didn’t.

They took their seats in the celebrity row again, all the while accompanied by cheers loudest by SHCJ. THIS. This was the feeling he wouldn’t want to forget; the unconditional love from their beloved SHCJ. For 19 years they kept hearing those cheers – in good and bad times, when they were able to stand tall, and when they fell in a slump, the cheers that energizing them – never once they felt tired of hearing those melody. SHCJ, the heart of Shinhwa.

Finally the time for the highlight of that night, The Legendary 1^st Generation Idol Group; a special award specifically created to appreciate the contribution of senior groups in the midst of the raising of younger groups. Because many disbanded group from the 1^st gen decided to reunite again, while Shinhwa still stood strong while continue challenging the industry. However, he could not denied that their emergence one by one, like flowers bloomed after the rain of kpop prosperity was somehow threatening, because those groups become so popular in that short period of time; while Shinhwa, remained Shinhwa.

Dongwan was frozen and held his breath when the announcer slowfully and dramatically leading the award. The winner was revealed, cheers and claps deafening the hall as the fans were overjoyed for their favourite group.

Shinhwa applauded for the winner too.

Dongwan instinctively looked at Minwoo first right after. Minwoo smiled at the winning group and clapped, yet too bad he could not hide the obvious disappointment in those tiny eyes from observant Dongwan.

Dongwan turned to look at the members on his other side. Hyesung was showing his two thumbs up and Andy was alternating between clapping and shooting finger hearts as encouragements to the winner on stage. Junjin just clapped his hand and nodded in acknowledgement. He looked at Eric. Eric, he looked charismatic as always with his charming smile.

For Dongwan himself, he did not sure of how he felt in that moment of chaos. The shock must have numb his feeling, he could not feel anything at all. Disappointment, defeated, resentment; none.

The camera changed the shot from showing their reactions back to the stage, which the sunbae group seemed overwhelmed by the award too, and the fans still roaring for them. He felt Minwoo’s hand on his back, and saw Eric was pulling on Minwoo’s neck while motioning the others with his other hand.

Junjin, a sharp maknae obeying the leader, gently pushed Andy and Hyesung closer to the group and in the next moment, they were in a group hug, rubbing each other’s back. It reminded him of that time they shared their happiness; and now, the opposite, together. The world around them faded and quietened inside the circle.

“Good job, kids. We really did good. Good job,” was Eric’s first words to the group.

“We’ve always been like this, didn’t we? Always taken the second place, but it’s okay.” The members quietly listened to Eric’s gentle words. No matter how 4D he is, he is the leader indeed when it’s this kind of situation.

“We’ve been through a lot and still have each other. And we also have our beautiful SHCJ’s love. That’s enough for us to be happy. What more do we need?”

Dongwan felt his eyes teared up, and he was sure the others were the same too. As much as he wanted them to be appreciated, he almost forgot the most valuable treasure they had. The leader’s reminder was like a cool raindrop to his heart, gently redirecting him back to their root.

“Good music,” Hyesung interrupted the holy pause.

“And bombass choreo too,” Junjin followed up the tease. As expected from the reliable quick-witted second maknae to cheer up the group. They laughed hard, and the previous emotional strain was somehow healed by their synchronized laughter.

“Yeah that too,” agreed the leader.

Minwoo clapped his hand, more spirited than he had been a few minutes before. “Okay kids, good job! Good job! Let’s work hard for next comeback and show them what we got, okay?”

The commotion in the hall had settled and they were all seated back while the winner gave their speech on the stage. Only a few (artists and audiences near them and of course SHCJ section) noticed what Shinhwa had been doing during the commotion, but Dongwan and his brothers-for-life just shook off the stares.

Shinhwa cheered the loudest when the sunbae group finished their speech.

Dongwan wanted to say something meaningful to the members too after Eric’s speech but the situation was too impromptu and he was too emotional by himself, he could not do it. Eric could just wait after the ceremony to end before he gathered the members, but damn, the alien Eric didn’t. It was a little embarrassing when he thought back, others noticing them and all but whatever.

Yeah, he was reminded of how much he loved the members and SHCJ. He was reminded of how much heart and hard work the members put in Shinhwa’s name for the sake of Shinhwa and SHCJ who persistently, patiently waiting for them through the years. They make music and dances for the ones who loved them, and that’s all that matters. Nothing else matters. Not even that stupid award.

But it would be nice if they can hold that award, right? Dongwan chuckled to himself.

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